TRACY180   19,745
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TRACY180's Recent Blog Entries


Saturday, May 15, 2010

I have been wanting to find a way to make a little money on the side and share my love of photography. I want to find a good website where i can subscribe to it, post my pictures on it and sell them. I found one site that was referenced on the photo team that I am a part of but would like the thoughts of others on this idea.
How do I know if a website and/or company is reputable before I try to subscribe to it? I doubt that better business bureau would have a list of reputable photography selling sites.
I am also concerned that very few people may want to buy any of my pictures. I like to make pictures with Bible verses or inspirational quotes on them. But, I am rather limited on what I can do as quotes. I am pretty sure that the King James Bible isn't copyrighted anymore. But, most quotes are probably copyrighted. I can sometimes write a decent poem but not a lot.

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SERENEMOM71 5/18/2010 4:04AM

  I don't have any answers to your questions, but I will really pray hard that God give you guidance to your questions! Please pray too, listen to your "gut" , and listen to any good advice that you receive. I bet that people would be interested in your pictures! You would be surprised @ people who want good Christian pictures with bible verses! Start small and also see if any Christian bookstores would be interested in your work. Are there any in your town? If they see your work in frames, they might be willing to take some of it on!
Know that I am praying for you! What a great idea! Don't get discouraged - pray about it and see if this is God's will for your life! If it is. it will be successful, I believe that it will!
Love, your sister in Christ,
Amy L emoticon

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ANDIEBM71 5/17/2010 2:02PM

    There are a lot of websites like and There is a lot of handmade stuff as well as photography and art. Check it out before you subscribe to anything because it may be free to join.

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DOG attack

Monday, May 10, 2010

DOG is my acronym for my depression. It stands for
D arn what does he/she think of me?
O h, God, I hate my life.
G ot to be perfect

I have a new manager at work. She is only 26 years old. I felt like I was discovering that my new boss is a little girl. I can't understand how someone who possibly become a store manager when he/she is only 26. I mean I was running a cash register at a grocery store when she was probably 16 years old.
I felt like such a LOSER. I mean I went to college and I run a cash register. I have almost never been promoted. When I was kind of "promoted" it was because of all the people who knew anything about photo had left. So, the manager asked me to be photo supervisor. What did I get for the alleged promotion? A new name tag. I hate my insurance. I'm afraid that premiums are going to go up when the insurance companies have to remove the caps/limits. My insurance is only affordable because of the fact that EVERYTHING is limited. I still haven't figured out what success is. I have been trying to use the idea of achieving a goal but I feel like a loser even though I am succeeding at losing weight and thinking about some other ideas that could spice up my hobbies some.
I managed not to cry during work or tell the new manager that "I hate new managers." I told one of my former managers that on his first week. It might have even been his first day but he asked me why I was crying. I hate change of any kind.
Why does change scare me so much? (I'm crying again.) I cried during my lunch break and came back with very red eyes. I almost starting crying while running the register but managed to just focus on work and the customers instead of my distaste for change, the fact that my company has an annoying habit of hireing people and promoting them over my head. I wonder if she worked for this company/store as long as I have.

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2BEHEALTHYAGAIN 5/11/2010 2:23PM

    Tracy~~Hope you're doing better today. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AREBMAN 5/11/2010 9:44AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SERENEMOM71 5/11/2010 12:14AM

  Tracey, you sound pretty down. Are you seeing a therapist? If not, maybe it might be a good idea to talk about your job and some of the other issues you are struggling with. Your insurance should cover the cost of one - if not, your company should cover one for several sessions confidentially. Your human resources should have that information. If you don't have a human resources office, then call your insurance re any info they might have. Just a suggestion. If you don't want to do therapy, check on your medication - and see if it needs an adjustment if the sadness/anger continues for more than two weeks.

Know that I care for you and am praying for you.
Love, your sister in Christ,
Amy L emoticon

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Friday, May 07, 2010

I weigh around 163.8 pounds. I am sooo close to the obese line that I want to squeal. For a 5 foot 2 person, the obese line is 163 according to Spark People. I am so close. I hope I make it in a few days.
I can tell sometimes that I am smaller in some areas. I sometimes catch myself in the mirror at work and notice that I don't look right. I just don't quite look like me. I have lost some weight somewhere on my body. I wish I could figure out which part of my body is producing the odd feeling of not quite looking like me though.
I still have around 30 pounds to lose before I hit my goal weight (healthy weight according to BMI chart).
What will I look like when I weigh around 130? Will I look like a bean poll. I don't want to look skinny. I used to have really knobby elbows and thought of myself as skinny. I don't want to look like skin and bones. I have a supervisor at work that looks like skin and bones. I hope that I will look healthy rather than like skin and bones if I get down to 130 pounds. I have been looking at other people a lot lately. I have been noticing everyone who is a lot fatter than me and skinnier than me.
I might not want to be 130 if I start to look too skinny for me. I of course still have plenty of fat on my stomach and breasts to lose right now. i especially don't want to look like a skinny person with HUGE breasts. I sometimes fantasize about reducing there size. I think I might have even lost a little bit of weight in that area.
As a kid, I used to sleep on my stomach. I quit doing that because it hurt my back to do it. I have found that I have been rolling over on my stomach ones an a while. It reminds me of sleeping as a kid. I still can't sleep that way much because it still strains the back some.

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_FALINE_ 5/9/2010 11:38AM

    I am also 5'2" and my goal is 130 lbs. Like you I don't really want to look skinny either. According to the chart I have I should weigh 115-130 and 130 is the top of the normal scale. I used to weigh that much 10 years ago and thought I looked just fine. That was about a size 10 jeans for me. I will be glad to get back to that.

emoticon emoticon

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CRUISEBOUND2014 5/8/2010 9:31PM

    Congratulations on your weight loss so far! You will be able to "maintain" when you are at a comfortable weight that is right for you. Take it one step at a time. You CAN do it!
emoticon emoticon

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SERENEMOM71 5/8/2010 12:45AM

  Congrats for noticing that you are losing weight! That is great! The nice thing about losing weight is that you can stop anytime you want to! So if you start to get down to your goal weight and feel you might look "too" skinny - just sit on your weight for a while and just get used to it. You might or might not feel that way after a little bit!

I'm still praying for you!
Love, Your sister in Christ,
Amy L emoticon

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mental health stigma

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

I love my church and try the best that I can to let them know what I struggle with. I hope that this will help them to understand the struggles of people with mental health issues. We have a Bible study that meets at a nearby work release jail. We also give them rides to our church services if they want to come and are approved for the program by the department of Corrections. So, I know that we will have people at my church who struggle with mental health issues at times. I sometimes get the impression from some people that Christians shouldn't have a need for psychiatric drugs. This frustrates me because I know that there is a biological component to my depression. It is okay to take insulin and believe in God without having to wonder if people think you are less spiritual because of it. So why does taking a psychiatric drug seem to mean that the person is depending on a drug, therapist, psychiatrist instead of God? I am hoping that I can make it easier on other people who struggle with depression or other mental health issues by trying to let my fellow church members see my struggles. I hope this will help them to respond in a empathetic way when others come into their lives with a mental health struggle of some kind.

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ONTARIOWALKER63 5/5/2010 8:15AM

    I hear ya on this one! I struggle with depression, as does my daughter (who's 25 yrs old). Summer months aren't as bad for me, as winter months are (Dec is my worst month.. I could just hibernate all month long) I'm always amazed at the stigma that is still attached. I was first diagnosed back in the late 80's .. and really.. in the eyes of the everyday public.. the stigma is still there.

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I can do it!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I took a long time to decide whether to try to lose weight or not. I felt that life would be pointless if I couldn't eat what I want in the amount that I want. I was also afraid that I would fail since I felt like I fail all of the time. (That DOG which is my nickname for my depression talking).
DOG is a made up acronym which means
Darn what does he/she think of me?
Oh, God, I hate my life.
Got to be perfect.

I decided that I would try for a little while and see what happens. My sister referred me here and I started trying to count calories and exercise. I enjoyed having a visual reminder to exercise. Also I like the idea of being accountable to a computer because I can't think "What does the computer think of me?" I did get offended by it reminding almost every day at the end of my tracking it would remind me about the dangers of over eating. I mean I am trying to do 1,200 to 1,5__ calories a day. What did it mean by that? GRRR!
As time has passed, I have went down one pants size and lost around 17 pounds since January. I sometimes believe that this has happened. I have been thinking today about how this means that I can still make a decision and do something that I can't imagine being able to do. I couldn't imagine being able to lose weight but I have been doing it. I know that it is important to envision our goals but sometimes I think someone can try a little at achieving it until he/she can imagine being able to do it. I think part of this is Spark People's idea of streaks which can help to motivate someone to go further into the goal setting.
I really want to be able to take this kind of thinking into the working world. For me, work is where DOG is the most powerful. I know why DOG is most powerful in this situation but how do I keep DOG at bay while at work? I have been getting better at it. I don't want DOG to hold me back from my calling from God, helping others and work.

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SKIRNIR 4/28/2010 12:08AM

    This sounds almost exactly like what someone else told me once. He said that he started running to prove to himself that he could do it. He would set little goals and as he met them, he began to see himself more positively. He began to believe that he could do what he decided he wanted to do. He could succeed at something. I hope that this will be a stepping stone for you, as it was for him. If you are curious who I mean, ask me later, offlilne.

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