Monday, May 10, 2010
DOG is my acronym for my depression. It stands for
D arn what does he/she think of me?
O h, God, I hate my life.
G ot to be perfect
I have a new manager at work. She is only 26 years old. I felt like I was discovering that my new boss is a little girl. I can't understand how someone who possibly become a store manager when he/she is only 26. I mean I was running a cash register at a grocery store when she was probably 16 years old.
I felt like such a LOSER. I mean I went to college and I run a cash register. I have almost never been promoted. When I was kind of "promoted" it was because of all the people who knew anything about photo had left. So, the manager asked me to be photo supervisor. What did I get for the alleged promotion? A new name tag. I hate my insurance. I'm afraid that premiums are going to go up when the insurance companies have to remove the caps/limits. My insurance is only affordable because of the fact that EVERYTHING is limited. I still haven't figured out what success is. I have been trying to use the idea of achieving a goal but I feel like a loser even though I am succeeding at losing weight and thinking about some other ideas that could spice up my hobbies some.
I managed not to cry during work or tell the new manager that "I hate new managers." I told one of my former managers that on his first week. It might have even been his first day but he asked me why I was crying. I hate change of any kind.
Why does change scare me so much? (I'm crying again.) I cried during my lunch break and came back with very red eyes. I almost starting crying while running the register but managed to just focus on work and the customers instead of my distaste for change, the fact that my company has an annoying habit of hireing people and promoting them over my head. I wonder if she worked for this company/store as long as I have.