Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I took a long time to decide whether to try to lose weight or not. I felt that life would be pointless if I couldn't eat what I want in the amount that I want. I was also afraid that I would fail since I felt like I fail all of the time. (That DOG which is my nickname for my depression talking).
DOG is a made up acronym which means
Darn what does he/she think of me?
Oh, God, I hate my life.
Got to be perfect.
I decided that I would try for a little while and see what happens. My sister referred me here and I started trying to count calories and exercise. I enjoyed having a visual reminder to exercise. Also I like the idea of being accountable to a computer because I can't think "What does the computer think of me?" I did get offended by it reminding almost every day at the end of my tracking it would remind me about the dangers of over eating. I mean I am trying to do 1,200 to 1,5__ calories a day. What did it mean by that? GRRR!
As time has passed, I have went down one pants size and lost around 17 pounds since January. I sometimes believe that this has happened. I have been thinking today about how this means that I can still make a decision and do something that I can't imagine being able to do. I couldn't imagine being able to lose weight but I have been doing it. I know that it is important to envision our goals but sometimes I think someone can try a little at achieving it until he/she can imagine being able to do it. I think part of this is Spark People's idea of streaks which can help to motivate someone to go further into the goal setting.
I really want to be able to take this kind of thinking into the working world. For me, work is where DOG is the most powerful. I know why DOG is most powerful in this situation but how do I keep DOG at bay while at work? I have been getting better at it. I don't want DOG to hold me back from my calling from God, helping others and work.