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TRACY180's Recent Blog Entries

over eating

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I have been over eating lately. I tend to overeat on my days off. Well, I have been off Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today. Guess what? I over ate AGAIN. The nutrition tracker looked funny because I only ate pizza (a fourth of a pizza), and lots of spaghetti with Heart Smart sauce with kidney beans in it. I discovered that I like the flavor of kidney beans in my spaghetti sauce and can't seem to eat it reasonably. I of course have left overs. I hope the crazy craving or whatever it is goes away.
I allegedly was within my calorie range today but I am trying to eat a BALANCED diet. I think this diet is so unbalanced that it would fall over if I could make a pyramid for it.

  


financial woes

Saturday, April 24, 2010

My employer gave me 15 hours next week. I have been watching them cut hours week after week but I can't afford to work only 15 hours. I am planning on looking for work but I am no good at looking for work. I also hope to find a way to earn some money on the side through photography and writing but I don't know how. I feel God has been wanting me to minister onto others through my writing and photography but I don't know how to do something like that. I know that I am lucky to still have a job with an economy like this one. Some people are saying that it is recovering but I suspect business leaders are nervous about the health care reform law. They might be predicting an increase in premiums and their portion of the cost due to the removal of lifetime limits and the restricting of the annual limits.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEYSARAH 4/25/2010 2:18AM

    I have been there and totally understand your predicament with hours slowing down and knowing in your heart there is another way to fulfill what may be your life mission while being able to bring in money. I'll be praying that something wonderful comes your way..a unique opportunity. Take care and know you are working hard there and here onsite to put your best foot forward in finding even better employment!

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CAMELA_55 4/24/2010 10:21PM

    I'm sorry to hear that your hours were cut. I hope something works out for you soon. I'm praying.
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new to me pants

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I bought two pairs of slacks at Good will today. I found two size 14 pants that I can fit. I seemed to big too small for 16 but slightly too big for 14 for some of them. Then I found two 14 that fit me perfectly. I think it looks less baggy than the 16 size pants that I have been wearing lately.
I hope that I find myself getting skinny enough to have to buy some smaller pants later in the year. I think the smallest size that I have fit is 12. I don't think I have ever been smaller than that. I hope that I don't get too skinny in my persuit of getting a weight in the healthy range of the BMI chart. I can't remember what I looked like when I weighed 130 or 120 which is within the healthy range of the BMI chart for me (I am 5 foot 2 according to my doctor).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA_OF_16 4/24/2010 6:14PM

    You are doing GREAT! Keep moving forward and you will be so beautiful and happy. emoticon

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SERENEMOM71 4/22/2010 7:34PM

  WOW! emoticon emoticon That is wonderful progress!

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DEVANDYLAN 4/22/2010 6:55PM

    That is exciting! Awesome job!

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EUGENERUGOSA 4/22/2010 8:38AM

    congrats on the new pants size!! It is exciting to see hard work pay off!

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CAMELA_55 4/21/2010 11:43PM

    Doesn't it feel so good to fit into a smaller size!!

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SHARKAR02 4/21/2010 11:30PM

    Congrats on the smaller size!

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obesity rant

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I just finished watching a movie called Fat:What no one is telling you. It got me started on ranting about things. So, I want to rant some about the subject of obesity and the struggle to lose weight.
I remember that I said some fat jokes to one of my teachers in high school who was fat and coached the football team and the track team. I think he let me get away with it because I was on the track team and I only said a joke a few times before I realized that I should stop doing it. I did because I was the most unpopular kid in my school and I wanted to make people laugh. My brother was very fat. So, I learned how to make a fat joke at an early age. I regret having done that because I don't want to add to the pain that the most overweight people have experienced.
I do think that exercise and watching portion size can help someone to lose weight but it is EXTREMELY hard. If a person is really heavy set, almost anything will wear the person out. I have a friend that if he gets up, he breathes as hard as I do when I am trying to exercise. I made the mistake of asking him on the phone if he was exercising or something. He also has bad knees. I know that if I had gotten to that point, I would have had a much harder battle than I do now. I can't even imagine how some one can lose 100 pounds. I have only lost 15 pounds or so. That was hard enough. I hate the feeling hungry and not eating part. I have been having trouble with one of my knees. I have trouble doing high impact exercise like jogging. I jogged around a mile and a half today. My knee hurt some. Then I did 50 jumping jacks to add to the lady bug team's total. I don't want to do anymore because I am concerned that I might be to stiff to go to work. I need to have lots of energy for work.
I don't know how people who sit at a desk all day manage to maintain their weight let alone lose weight. I work a cash register. So, I am on my feet all day except during my half an hour lunch. I try to do other things in between customers. This means that I am constantly walking at work. I took a pedometer to work once and got a lot of steps. i don't remember what it was. I took the pedometer once to the grocery store and did around 5,000 steps then. Huh? You may ask. Easy. I walked from my home to the bus depot. Then I walked from the bus stop to the store. I walk through every aisle of the store. Once I am done, I walk to the bus stop and from the bus depot to my home. It takes me around 10 to 15 minutes to walk to the bus depot. How does someone who works a desk job and drives their own car do it?
I went to the grocery store and bought some vegetables and fruits for our freggies eating challenge and spent $50 on food. I think that unhealthy foods are cheaper than healthy foods. I can afford them only because I am eating less of them than before I started this adventure. Our finances does effect our ability to eat healthy and exercise. I have no idea how someone with two jobs could possibly eat healthy and have time to exercise. I used to have co-workers who worked two jobs. They'd be worn out by the time that they got to my work place. How can they have time to do this?
I am amazed by the portion sizes in restaurants. I can't imagine how someone who travels a lot can manage to regulate how much they eat. I can put stuff aside when I am at home, but I feel like I need to eat my money's worth if I go out to eat. (I can't afford to go out to eat much) Many times we don't have time to take left overs home and then head out to whatever it is that we have scheduled. So, we can't even take the food home to eat later. How am I supposed to eat only what i need to satisfy myself when I know that they will throw the left overs away? My doctor suggested that i cut back on sodium. How can I do that when I can't even find frozen meal in some "healthy" brands that isn't stuffed with salt? I have thought about protesting to some of the companies.
Where does this rant get me? I think it helps me to understand the struggle that is involved in losing weight. I will try to monitor my thinking and behavior for discriminatory behavior towards obese people. I suspect that deep in my thinking there is some anti-obese people thinking there. I wonder if I could easily fall pray to the "He is lazy thinking." I used to have a co-worker who wouldn't do any low down work and a supervisor thought he was lazy. I was confused by this since he didn't seem lazy to me. Maybe, it was an issue that his obesity made it impossible or almost impossible to get into the floor to stock the lowest shelf of the store. I tend to take for granted the things that I can do like walk, run, jog, sit down in the floor, weed a garden etc. I have seen a friend of mine weed a garden by laying down and doing it. He can't sit down and lean forwards to weed a garden. I had never realized how thankful I am that I have not gotten obese enough to have that struggle.
I am so close to getting below the obesity line for my height. I am so excited. I can't wait to be classified as overweight rather than obese. I struggle with depression and hate that label. I am starting to see that the obese label/stigma is stronger because I can hide my depression. But, an obese person can not hide their problem.
Sorry about the big long entry but I haven't really thought that adults insult people about being obese. Yet, one person said that people remind him/her that he/she is fat everyday. Is that true? Are we really that cruel as a society? What does this say about us?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLEEWILLSPARK 4/21/2010 10:31PM

    Absolutely a very true rant! Thank you for this post!


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SERENEMOM71 4/21/2010 12:59AM

  Yes, society is not only cruel but weird. I was watching the Today Show the other day and Ann Coulter stated that obese people who wore a size 12 (can you believe it!) and wanted to get down to a normal size 2 to 4, blah, blah, blah. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Since when was a size 12 obese? I'm tired of hearing how "thin" we all should be and let's just talk about being a healthy weight, size, and BMI for our body!

There, I got my rant out!
Thanks for sharing.
I'm thinking of and praying for you.
Love, your sister in Christ,
Amy L

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MORGANLAFEE 4/20/2010 10:42PM

    Your rant is so true. Thank you for sharing.

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bad dreams

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I had some bad dreams this morning. My body still has feeling of fear. I hope this feeling doesn't ruin church today. I didn't want to come out from under the covers this morning.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENEMOM71 4/18/2010 7:11PM

  I'm sorry that you had such a bad nightmare! I hope that you do go to church today as being with other Christians and in worship with God does help to dispel fear and the leftover feelings of that nightmare. Please pray for the warmth of God's love (as I am) to surround you today and for you to be enfolded in God's embrace as you live out the rest of the day. Remember that God does not forget you as your "name is carved on the palm of my hands."

I am thinking of you today and praying for you, too.
God Bless you and take care.
Love, Your sister in Christ,
Amy L

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