Thursday, September 25, 2014
I finally got back to painting this week.
Between having my broken wrist in a cast for a stretch of time then packing up , moving and unpacking, I have been away from the paints for the duration of the summer. It felt like I would never get back to it...
So Here is my first attempt back at painting once again
Thursday, September 25, 2014
A typically good weigh in , with the Leader once again being the only one with a gain....I am now the highest I have been in years.
It is still water weight gain, as my kidneys are still having problems. My feet are so swollen, the skin is shiny and my thongs leave deep indentations in my skin when I must have something on my feet when I leave the house. I am trying not to let this upset me, but it is so very hard.
So this week, we talked about the elephant in the room.....water weight. No one wanted to really talk about this with me having battles with it, this last two weeks, and the members didn't want to ask, but finally Graeme, being the bold one, did ask how I knew it is water weight and what are the things that can cause it?
Unintentional weight gain occurs when you put on weight without increasing your consumption of food or liquid. This unintentional weight gain can be periodic, continuous, or rapid. And totally beyond your control, in most cases, though sometimes there are specific things that can be avoided that will make it happen less often.
I asked Graeme (as I know it happens to him when he has ham or hot dogs) How did he feel when he had really salty ham or hot dogs? He gave me a pointed look , as if to say, why you picking on me? lol
I pointed out to him that over the last few years, when he has had the big unexplained gain of 10 or so lbs, and also lost it the following week, that I had talked with him each time. Through each of those talks after meetings, we determined, that ham and hot dogs were the things affecting him in this way, and that if eating them, it should be right after weigh in day, so that he had the week to flush it off and not have it show up on the scale.
And sometimes it is as easy as that.
One of the members then piped up that I should quit eating ham and hot dogs then. I gave a sad smile, and said " in my case, if only it were so easy."
The reason for my weight gain is the functioning of my kidneys. When things are bubbling along nicely, my kidneys are happy to function. Then, every once in while, it has a problem, and can not work as it should, and as a result, I have the weight gain without doing anything.
So, another asked, how do you know this is the problem? The biggest symptom for me, the inability to urinate very much or very often, hence the water gain. So I generally try to drink less water at these times until I can start urinating properly once again
I have already eliminated using salt on my foods, which is the biggest culprit in water weight gains. I was brought up using very little salt and to not cook with salt, I rarely used canned goods that have salt in them, and mostly, I do not put salt on my food at the table. I say mostly, because there are a few things that I do not like with out salt.....eggs, for instance. And something I can not eliminate salt from is cheese.
But I eat neither of these things when I am having kidney troubles. It is the kidneys that has to filter the foods you eat, so this has a direct effect on them.
Other reasons could be the result of pregnancy. (laughter as all of us in this group are too old for this reason) Most of you (excluding Graeme...) experienced regular fluctuations in weight during a woman’s menstrual cycle. That symptom of bloating at that time of the month. (lots of nodding heads) A decrease in estrogen can also cause women in menopause to experience weight gain around the abdominal region and the hips.
However, rapid unintentional weight gain usually indicates a serious medical condition, such as what I deal with. Rapid unintentional weight gain may also be caused by some medications, a uncomfortable side effect. Unexplained rapid weight gain may be caused by fluid retention. Fluid retention is also referred to as edema. It causes your limbs, hands, feet, face, or abdomen to look swollen. People with heart failure, kidney failure, or those taking certain medications may experience this type of weight gain.
Another less common reason, hormonal changes in your middle years can cause your metabolism to slow down, thus causing this kind of weight gain on occasions.
Depending on the cause, symptoms of unintentional weight gain can differ from person to person. Symptoms often associated with this type of weight gain include:
visible swelling in the abdomen or other areas of the body
swollen extremities (arms, legs, feet, hands)
For me, the obvious swelling of hands, feet and ankles. A mild attack, it is just my hands , with my fingers feeling like fat sausages, but the more severe attack is like my feet are now. Really swollen feet and ankles are painful to walk on. Sometimes the skin is so tight, that just a hand touching the areas can be stinging and painful.
More serious symptoms, where you should see a doctor immediately,
shortness of breath
changes in vision
rapid weight gain
And why haven't you seen the doc...well, I did, last week lol
She also ordered up blood tests, to be sure there was no signs of infections, which can also show these types of symptoms on some people. (Graeme was nodding his head... he was the one took me for the tests )
for "normal" water weight gains, due to salty foods, bloating from cycles and so on...using a diuretic type of food - lemon and its juice, parsley fresh pineapple and a few other foods, help flush off the water. For some people just drinking a lot of extra water will help flush out salt and there fore the water weight will slough off. Other people, exercising works.
Medical reasons are different though. No easy answers there. Perhaps a new kidney would help but I have already been told I am Not a candidate for transplant. I have too many other issues besides the kidney problem to be a candidate, the biggest one being diabetes.
Sometimes, I wish I were someone else. With that, the meeting broke up,
Have a good day
Saturday, September 20, 2014
I guess my body has been so good for too long, what with the packing, moving, and unpacking of the last month and some. Last week I started a down hill slide in water weight, with a 3 lb gain in a pair of days before weigh in, and here it is, 3 days past weigh in and I am up another 5 and a bit lbs.
My feet and ankles are so swollen it is painful to walk even barefoot. Never mind the fact that I can not even get my thongs (flip flops in todays world) on. Pretty sad because they are usually so loose they are falling off my feet...
some people have scoffed at me in the past of knowing or stating these water weight gains. But you do get to know them after awhile, even the feel of them is different than regular weight gain. Besides, Most people know that a body, any body, that is not over eating or using salt, can not possibly gain 10 - 20 lbs in a week. It is just not humanly possible, unless that some one is a gluttony fool and inhaling food into themselves at the rate of some 80,000 calories a week with no exercise at all. That is a lot of food! Especially when you think about a months worth of food for me is, roughly calculated, around 32,000 calories
All I can do is be tough and ride it out. I know from the past, that it is probably my kidneys acting up again, which they do many times a year. It will straighten itself out in a week or two, and it will all flush off again, God willing (though sometimes I do have thoughts lurking in the shadows of my mind, about the what ifs...what if my kidneys have decided to finally just fail...scary thought, and totally possible)
I have, in the past, tried all the natural diuretics and tricks that most dieters know for flushing off the extra water. Those only work when your kidneys are fully functioning. When they are not functioning right all the lemon and cranberry juice in the world are not going to help you, and neither is the pineapple and parsley. Taste good though lol
Off on to another subject.... A friend of mine, who is chunky like myself, asked if I would be interested in joining a "foodie" site. As I did not know what she meant by foodie , I asked her what it was...and she replied just talk of food and tricks in the kitchen. Hmph , okay, that sounds okay, sure why not?
I joined up and gave it an honest month to try it, checking in every day to see what was going on and what the posts for the day were.
I deleted myself yesterday.
Seriously, I was so very unimpressed. This was NOT a site on SP, let's clear that up right away. My take on the "foodie" personalities that were on site and that had a picture of themselves there......there were mostly women but also a few men, and in my books were definitely carrying extra poundage. But the more shocking to me, was the abuses they heaped upon their bodies.
A foodie, if my experience there is anything to go by, is a person that loves food and pays no attention to health aspects of what they are in fact feeding themselves. The amounts of food talked about, the ways in which they were cooking the said foods, and the types of foods.....went against everything that I promote with in the TOPS and diabetes realm of my life and discussions.
There was no control of calories consumed in a day, no regard to health issues and healthy eating.In short, and pardon me, but I was totally disgusted. There was very good reason why many of these people were large. Maybe I am stereotyping right now but that is something I have fought against all my life. The image of a large person eating with complete abandonment has never been me. I have always eaten less than a thousand calories a day because of a super slow metabolism and of course, the diabetes/ Blood Sugar factors, as well.
One person on there was bragging about having steak three times a day....I think that would have me hugging a toilet as 1) I am not a big beef eater anyways 2) ONE steak the size mentioned, would fill me at one meal and I probably wouldnt eat for another day or two!
The size of the steaks...I could have had a steak meal, a stir fry meal and probably chopped the rest up to add to a salad or two! And this person ate it 3 times in a day! Talk about clogged arteries as well!
But who am I to judge?
I have always tried not to judge people, but seriously, I couldnt help it in this instance.
I do believe that you could be a "foodie" and still eat healthily. What that word says to me is a person that likes food, Correct? And I DO like food. And I DO eat any kind of food I want. I do not deprive myself in the least, in terms of flavours and food fare. I do however, make trade offs and eat in moderation.
For instance, I love fish and chips! Not good choices for a diabetic as it is high carb and fat. My trade off...I have the deep fried fish and have salad with it. Or I will have the fries. I just wont have them together.
Another example would be, my love of pizza. Another very high carb meal. I will have one slice and a salad OR if I make my own, I will make it on 2 or 3 portabella mushroom caps and eliminate the carbs completely. A very slimmed down choice and one I have fairly often, at least once a month ( thats often for me!) It just takes a little preparing by cooking the mushroom caps firs and blotting them off, t before making the pizza on them, otherwise the amount of water in the mushroom makes it a soggy mess
Flavour is more important than amount in my books.
And I guess, healthy eating is just too far ingrained into me to let go like the people on the foodie site.
But a thought also just came to mind writing that sentence....perhaps I have too much pride in myself, as I fight constantly to lose weight and want to look good. The pictures I saw of these people had tight clothes over rounded bellies...something I detest for myself. I wont even wear something if it is in anyway tight fitting, let alone have my picture taken wearing it. I do not like my belly so prominent...
I suppose it was a good experience, in an odd sort of way. I do feel prouder of myself and my efforts to look pleasing to the eye of any beholder, I am proud that I do not flaunt my fatness. I take pleasure knowing that I am at the healthiest I can be for me with diabetes and other health problems, I am at the least, not making those problem worse by the way I chose to eat.
I stand more in front of the altar of health, than at the altar of all foods.
I also realize I have respect for my body, and keep it as well maintained as I can. It is the only one I have, I can not trade it in on a new model. A car can only run as good as the upkeep you put into it.
I think those are a few good things to learn about oneself....
Now I better go get something done around here have a super day everyone
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
It is the first cool cloudy day since I moved to the new place. But it is still warm in here even with a few windows cracked open! The bodes well for later in the season...perhaps I wont even have to turn heat on ...you just never know! It is such a well insulated house...
Everyone is starting to arrive later since we are moved to here. No one has the timing down, I guess, to getting to this place on time, now that it is further from the center of town. It is not a problem though...
Weigh in went smoothly, though I still may change where the scales are living right now, don't really like them where they are. But, on the other hand, it is the most logical place for them in terms of where we are meeting. No one has complained, as they are still off in a private little space ( the little hall by the door to go to the laundry room and rest of the basement)
Unfortunately I was the gainer today, up 3 pounds. I had mentioned yesterday that I thought I would be up because my feet were so badly swollen I had a hard time getting my flip flops on. They are usually extremely loose, not so, yesterday. My assumption is some drastic water weight as it came on very quickly during the day and I had not eaten badly all week previous to yesterday.
oh well, boo to me.
Our discussion today, I chose to talk about fruits and vegetables and which are prone to more use of insecticides/ pesticides than which aren't. I fortunately, managed to find a listing of such for comparisons
If pesticides are present on the surfaces of your fruits and vegetables, you can definitely remove a substantial amount of those surface pesticides through careful washing and light scrubbing. However, you will not be able to remove all of them nor can you remove pesticides that have been incorporated into the fruits and vegetables while they were growing.
From field to field and from year to year, the amount of pesticides used on different fruit and vegetable crops can vary greatly. However, some environmental organizations, like the Environmental Working Group (EWG) have sampled large groups of fruits and vegetables to determine which non-organic foods most consistently contain pesticide residues (and how many different residues they contain). They have provided a listing to the public, which I will copy for you here. They even have a nickname for the worst offenders..... "Dirty Dozen Plus."
the uppermost food contains pesticide residues on the most frequent basis, and the next food down contains pesticide residues at the second highest frequency, etc
Sweet bell peppers
The "Plus" in the "Dirty Dozen Plus" reflects types of produce that didn't meet the traditional Dirty Dozen criteria yet were of special concern. While they may not have met traditional criteria to rank them in the top 12, they were found to contain residues of insecticides that are toxic to the human nervous system.
Leafy greens, such as kale and collard greens
They named another group the "Clean 15" which are the ones that were found to have the least amount of pesticide residues. The list of these are:
Sweet Peas — Frozen
As we discussed this around the table, we came to the conclusion that even if a food is termed organic, it still is not free of the insecticides and pesticides, for the simple reason that these products have been used for many years. Ground waters would absorb some from the earth and the earth retains some as well, and those processes have been going on for many many years.
So a farm going "organic" may still get some leeching into the foods they produce.... EVEN if they farmed hydroponically, for the water still has residue chemicals in it. There is no getting away from that, as the residues of past uses have still been monitored in present day waters...whether high up in the mountains, far from civilization or just around the corner from your house.
Organic farm produce is interesting, to say the least. They do not use the insecticides or pesticides, so you would think that the costs would be far cheaper to produce their marketable goods. The costs of the chemicals and planes and machines to deliver the said chemicals to the crops, would be a high cost... Yet the produce from a organic farm costs more. So who are the ones lining their pockets on this issue?
As always, there are several more factors, that effect the pricing of fruits and vegetables But it does still make one wonder about the logicalness of the organic farming products costing more than the products that are coming off farms that are using the insecticides and pesticides.
But the fact still remains, that these chemicals do end up in our foods. We can only do what we can. I personally, wash everything well, with a 10 parts water/1 part vinegar solution. I do this for anything I bring out of my own garden as well, especially those squashes that I am holding over the winter. It is something my Uncle Reg taught me many years ago, and has worked like a charm for preserving for later use....along with making sure to leave at least one inch of stem and to cut with scissors so that the stem is not pulled off the vegetable at all.
After the light scrubbing, which also washes your hands clean of the surfaces chemical, peeling the fruit or vegetable will take away some more chemical that has leeched into the skins. What is left is the product with the least amount of chemical residue in it. That is the best you can do for yourself, if you are concerned about this issue.
Some people don't care. I have seen them at the grocery store, picking and eating grapes, cherries ect and eating them to see if they are sweet enough for them. They havent even been washed from coming off the trucks....and in some cases, not even from coming in off the fields and orchards, where they were sprayed again just before being put on the trucks.
Food for thought?
Have a great day everyone!
Saturday, September 13, 2014
It took awhile for me to get back...but I have finally returned!
Being without the internet for so long, well, that was a trial! When I first moved I was so busy that the landlords being away did not bother me....but when things slowed down some, I wanted to be online!
I watched for them to come home, but twice they snuck in and then left again within the hour or two they were home. Turns out the have a summer home, right on the beach, and have been living there for most of the summer. Don't blame them! It has been a beautiful summer here!
But that did not bode well for me , in the moment. So after a bit over two weeks, they came home for a stretch of days, and I got the Mr down here, so I could get the passwords onto the systems they have for computer and TV.
Turns out both my machines were too old for these two systems! Ugh! So another week goes by, then I had to be ready for overnight company! My cousin and her husband were coming in off the sailboat for the season. That was the final push to get boxes dealt with once and for all! So now that is done and over with.
After they left, I made arrangements for a few hours in town...It is now a production to go, so I need to arrange several things to be done each time I go, so I don't waste Graeme's or anyone elses time. So I visited two banks, mine and the one for the TOPS group, went to the grocery store, walmart the Dr's office for an appointment, the drugstore with my prescription renewel, and finally the electronics store.
And the fellow there knew exactly what to do! Yay! I had to wait again, to catch up with the landlord again, fortunately it was not such a long wait this time! I had his passwords into the machine where the device wanted it and here I am once again!
The view I look at whenever I sit at the computer is beautiful! Yes, there are two roof tops in the way when I sit here, but there is big gaps in between the houses to see the ocean and the various islands around here. Marine traffic of tugs, barges, sailboats and speedboats leave something to always be looking at. There is an occasional ferry as well as the scarcer cruise ship. I can see across to the airforce base on Vancouver Island at times, when it is super clear out, but it is very small and far off in the distance. Next I want to get some binoculars for watching
The TV is still a dead issue. I guess I will have to start buying DVD's or something. There were a few shows I really liked but on the whole, I did not watch the thing that much so it is no great loss. Lots of other things that I prefer to be doing instead. I will get a few children's movies for whenever my great nephew is around, which I was going to have to do anyways as his mom doesn't want him to be watching regular tv anyways.
So really not a big issue with me, not like it would be for some other people I happen to know! Also keeps me on the quieter side, which is good for upstairs lol The landlords have commented that they don't even know that I am here...this could be a good thing as they decided to put me on a 3 month trial! Yikes I don't want to go through finding another place! And now, I am feeling pretty confident that I won't have to, not when they just think of me as a ghost in the basement LOL
TOPS group... The group was not too excited about the move in location, as it is farther away for them to arrive here. They were won over the first meeting! ( we have had 2 here) They took one look at the view on the way in, and one look at their new surroundings and quit griping.
I told them I would sign transfer papers if the wish to go to one of the groups in the town center ( there are 4 or 5 to chose from there where we were. ) We are now the only group out here in what is called the townsite. It is the original beginning of where this town started to grow from. The paper mill is about a mile further along the coast from here.
By the time we got to this week passed and the second meeting here, everyone was settled in. Graeme spoke up at the last meeting and said he thought he spoke for everyone at that moment...thanked me for moving the club here. He also stated that he woke up happy and excited to come to the meeting that morning. He drive slower than usual so he could take in the view before turning up to my road, then said he walked up my sidewalk backwards so he could watch the view come back into sight once again! He commented that he claimed the seat at the back of the table for one reason... he could stare out the window at the view while the meeting was going on, while everyone else had to crank their heads around to look lol
He can be such a funny guy... as the first meeting here, he said our opening pledge straight, no goofing up the lines... he said it was in honor of our new home! This week, we were back to him sliding in an offbeat line that would throw everyone off lol He does it on purpose, and never the same line, the same way. Most of the time it is something to cause snickers, but always to do with weight loss and its issues. I am sure he sits and dreams these things up !
And we have come to expect these little asides of his lol
So while it is a little ways out of the ways for everyone, I am sure it will work out fine.....may even end up with new members as there is not a another group, here in the townsite
My neice's comment was it is awful small. I just sighed. There is no pleasing some people. Yes it is small. One large room (kitchen, living room, computer room and dining room, all in the one room) Just a tad bigger than the room we had in the old place, actually, probably the same size if I were to add the kitchen and its space onto the end of the room at the old place.
I think I have it looking okay though...have to live with it for a few weeks to see if there is anymore changes to make. I did downsize a lot, and may still have to do a little more yet, I will see....
Havent got all the pictures up yet, still working on that.
But it is already home.
Has been since the first day I was here
The old place has faded very quickly out of my mind, as have all the feelings that went with it. I did not realize how much that place sucked me dry, wore me down and depleted my sense of self worth and self esteem. The negativity it spawned in my mind and heart, mostly towards myself, the depression that was slowly creeping into me, the feelings of degradation and worthlessness, living on the edge of homelessness... the feelings of being an invisible throw away disabled person living like a ghost in a society of able bodied people that pay no attention.....gone!
I suppose that is why I liked my friends here so much. Thank you to all of you.
You never , any of you, made me feel that way here!The encouragements, the kind words and thoughts, always let me know there had to be a better place than where I had got to.. that old shack that was someplace to be for a month or two while I found the better place...that took 15 years to arrive!
All the people that prayed for me, here and at my church, praying for a better place, a happier place...those prayers have been answered! I have arrived to where I am supposed to be! I truly believe that. I think God needed me to get so down and out, to really appreciate the gifts that he has bestowed upon me at this time. Thank the Lord for these gifts!
Have a terrific day, and enjoywhat life brings to you this day! God bless you all!
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