TOOTHFUL99   33,671
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Winter Blues

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I'm in a funk and struggling to get out. I don't know if it's the holidays, winter, life changes or just me being negative. Something's gotta give.

I'm usually a very positive person. The glass is half full in my life and I have a lot to be thankful for. Lately, it seems like that glass is a little emptier.

I miss my kids. They live in Wisconsin and I live in Tennessee. Last week, I was up there with them, celebrating an early Christmas. It was so good to see them. They're in their 20's and struggling, which makes me feel like a terrible mother for leaving them up there, but how else are they going to learn to stand on their own two feet? All kinds of memories of the past, when our little family was so close, keep choking me up. I know everything changes, but it's hard.

I moved south to escape the cold. Well, hello!!! It's freezing down here!! Even though I was born a northern girl, I don't do cold very well. I love sun and warm and sweat, not the pain of frozen fingers and toes! It makes me want to hibernate. I don't really want to go out in this weather, which kicks me into bicycle withdrawal. Putting it on the trainer just doesn't feel the same.

Christmas is coming and we'll be spending the day at my mother's. (She lives down here, too.) We'll be joined by my sister and her husband. This is the sister who called me in a drunken stuper after my father died last year to accuse me of not loving him enough. Over a year has passed since that call, but the pain is still there. So, I'll paint on a smile and buy everyone gifts and force a good time. Not really looking forward to it though.

I just think everything's getting to me all at once.

On a positive note, I've been watching my diet and doing a good job at losing the extra pounds I put on during the Wisconsin trip last week. I'm close to my goal and really want to hit it by the end of the year.

I had a physical yesterday and got a clean bill of health. That is really something to be thankful for.

I will keep treading water and hope this depression lifts. Sorry to dump on all of you, but sometimes even 'Suzy Sunshine' has to have a bad day!

Think Spring!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TOOTHFUL99 12/20/2010 9:15AM

    ANDIG8--During the warmer months, I ride about 100-150 miles per week. This time of year, it's really a let down to not be able to ride as much.

It looks like the rest of the year will bring some milder temps here. (40's) I should be able to squeek in some more rides.

Yep. I guess I am a biking maniac, but I guess there are worse addictions. (Like cookies!)

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ANDIG8 12/19/2010 6:53PM

    I'm glad to hear that you are doing better! It stinks to be down, although there is opposition In all things, so we sure do recognize how great it feels to feel good, when we are not down!

You are a biking maniac aren't you. To be able to go 27 miles every two weeks, that's awesome!

How's the weather?


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TOOTHFUL99 12/19/2010 5:52PM

    Feeling a little better. Thanks, all of you, for the kind words of encouragement.

The minute the geese start flying south, my mood starts to drop. I think maybe I need to live on a tropical island!!

I finally got out on my bicycle today. It was a 27 mile ride through the hills of North Chattanooga. It's hard to go from riding 4 times per week, to once every 2 weeks. Maybe I was going through some endorphine withdrawal. Tomorrow's another nice day, with a nice bike ride planned. Can't wait!

Thanks again for caring! It's nice to know someone's thinking of you when you hit a speed bump.


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ANDIG8 12/18/2010 11:49PM

How are you feeling? I wonder if you are experiencing problems associated with the lesser daylight too! Are you exercising - it could be critical for a speedy "recover" from the blues and/or depression!

Tell me how you are feeling.


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HERE2PERSEVERE 12/14/2010 10:53AM

Sorry to hear you're feeling is pretty common at this time of year to feel all the things you describe, not that it helps much to know that...(The minute fall is over, I'm looking forward to spring myself...) emoticon
Hang in there, and keep looking for things that you CAN do, keep focusing on what brings you joy, even if it's in little bits here and there.
Take it emoticonday at a time...
Take care & SPaRk On!

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I'm feeling so lucky!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Most of my life was spent in cold climates. Being a bicyclist, my hobby was always put on hold for a few months every winter. (Unless we had a freak warm day with clear roads.) I would actually dream about riding during those off months and those dreams would be of riding my bike on a warm summer day.
Three years ago, we moved to Southeastern Tennessee. This is truly beautiful country, hills and mountains and curvy roads... challenging and gorgeous!
Last week, I went up to Wisconsin to celebrate an early Christmas with my kids. Oooh! It was so cold! My friends up there have ended their riding season and count the days till spring.
Now, I'm back home. Today, I was able to go on a 31 mile ride with my southern friends. It was in the high 40's with tons of sunshine. It wasn't a warm, summertime ride, but it was a ride that I wouldn't be able to have up north.
I feel for northern bicyclists. I've been there and I have felt their pain. I am grateful to be where I am right now. I'll just keep biking!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALEXANDRA64 12/21/2010 1:59PM

    I used to be a cyclist living in Buffalo. Great during the summer (very short summer) but hard in the winter. Spinning just wasn't the same, lol. Winters were so long actually that the first 1/2 a dozen rides were a serious get used to the saddle/pace/air, etc.

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CSIENK 12/11/2010 8:44AM

    I'm not a bicyclist, but I love to get out and walk for hours... and that definitely gets cut short here with our Michigan winters. Good for you for your 31 mile bike ride - I'm impressed!
Cindy emoticon

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HEALTHYINNOOGA 12/11/2010 6:28AM

    No doubt the southern climate makes it easier to keep up the exercise year round.

I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio, so I know what you are talking about when you say counting the days until spring...which seemed to never happened until mid May.

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Is this my time?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Since the birth of my second child, 21 years ago, I've been playing with the same 30 pounds. I lose it and feel great and then is creeps back on and I get angry. Then I lose it again.....and so the story goes.
This is it! I'm eating healthier than I ever have and I found an active hobby that I love. This is the time it will stay off!
That is my promise to myself!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNEBUG150 10/12/2010 10:57AM

    emoticon emoticon

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RUNJEWELRUN 10/12/2010 9:02AM

    Go for it!

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JR1952 10/12/2010 9:00AM

    No time like the present to change. You can do it. emoticon

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RSSSLHB 10/12/2010 8:59AM

    emoticonSparkpeople emoticongood luck on your journey

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KASSIANDORA 10/12/2010 8:50AM

    You will do it!

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