Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Today I pulled on a skirt I haven't worn in a while and breathed a sigh of relief that it fit. Last summer it was falling off, but then I had a relapse. The fact that it fit was great, but then I felt my thighs rubbing. Just then my mind buzzed with all the things I wont miss when I reach my healthy goal.
I wont miss:
panting for breath after walking up a few flights of stairs
putting together outfits by what body part needs to be camouflaged the most.
positioning my body in unnatural bends to avoid revealing unsightly bulges in photographs
love handles, muffin tops, spare tires, ring of shame, extra padding
waiting to become a better me.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Apparently I am not ready to venture off the reservation. I thought I was, but in five days away from home I gained almost 7lbs. I was certainly relaxed while away, but I worked out three of those days, and honestly don't think I had eaten that badly. Quite likely the biggest culprit was the two driving days eating at stops along I-95.
The last time I gained weight I literally lost my head...convulsed in tears...the works. This time, I stepped on the scale, shook my head in disbelief, and shrugged. Instead of panicking, or getting upset I am choosing to focus on all the good decisions I made while we were traveling: I worked out, I passed on cake, I didn't feel the need to clean my plate, I drank lots of water.
I am doing better than I was before. That's a good thing...no matter what the scale says.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
I just realized that I have been a Spark People member for 379 days. I didn't even realize that a year had passed. I have to say, other than school, I have never stuck to anything this long. Quite honestly I didn't think I would need to. I had fully expected to have lost all my excess weight and be on my merry way by now.
I was very sceptical when my nutritionist recommended the site. I did not think it was for me. I thought: I don't have any "issues"; I don't have a problem with food; I just need to lose a few extra pounds. Turns out I do have some "issues"; a lack of knowledge being the main one. SparkPeople has been such wealth of information and education for me. Because of what I've learned here and the guidance and support I've gotten, my first attempt at weight loss may very well be my last. I never had to suffer through diets. I instead learned the benefits of adopting a healthy lifestyle. I did not start an exercise program with unreasonable expectations only to throw in the towel when those expectations were not realized. Instead I learned that my weight loss journey has to be multi-faceted and well-paced. I did get discouraged at the slow pace sometimes, but I was encouraged by practical SP information, and by members who share their stories and their own struggles.
Looking at my weight tracker you might not be able to tell, but I have come a long way in the past year. Sure 17 lbs seems low for more than 52 weeks, but it doesn't tell the whole story. It doesn't tell you that my body fat percentage fell from an obese 28% to a fit 23%. It doesn't tell you that I went from a tight size 14 to slipping on size 8 pants this week. It doesn't tell you how I went from hating exercise to looking forward to runs with my neighbor-friend, kickboxing class and yoga. My aptly depicted turtle tracker doesn't tell you how amazing I feel that my excitement about my health and improving body has inspired my mother, cousin and friends to take more care of their body and health. The little turtle doesn't tell you how grateful I am that my life is markedly better, or that I plan to wear a bathing suit on the beach this summer - the first time in almost 7 years.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
I gained weight. Not just a pound or two, but more than 7lbs since my last weigh-in in January, and 9 lbs since the last time I stepped on a scale. I could die. My heart is literally broken. The wind has been knocked out of me.
My weight loss journey has not been idyllic by any measure. It has been slow and I have had to put in double time and sweat for every single ounce gone. I have had some moments of discouragement, particularly when I see the large loss numbers others post. I would be lieing if I didn't admit to being jealous sometimes. But I hung in there, taking joy in the slow progress, as my BMI, body fat and hip:waist ratio fell into healthy ranges and my clothes size dropped.
Then this...a gain - a big gain. It seems so unfair. I admit that I had gone off track for a few weeks, but I don't think it was 7 lbs off track. How come I didn't gain in the small increments I lose in? How come I didn't gain 0.3lbs? (I've actually lost only that much from one weigh-in to the next.)
I feel like I can't win. Why is it my 100% gets me so little? How come I don't get any room to falter a bit without putting back on the lbs? I'm afraid if something doesn't give, I'm going to stumble. I'm simply devasted.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Up until a few months ago, I didn't even think I could run, then I started running on the treadmill at the gym. Now, I'm not the fastest and I'm not doing 7 miles at a time, but I'm running. Yesterday, I ran on the road for the first time. I only ran two miles...and didn't even run the whole way, but I am so proud of myself.
I decided I am not going to bitch about how slow I was going; or beat myself up for cutting my run short (my hands were freezing). I am choosing to celebrate that I'm getting fitter and I am doing something I wasn't doing a year ago. Yeah me!!
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