I haven’t felt well in months and have been beating myself up over gaining 10 pounds…So I decided to get online last night and go to my “weight loss forum” for some support and I was checking my journal and I came to realize that I have maintained a 50lb weight loss for a year this week.
On 3/18/2012 I hit my 50 pound goal and on 3/18/2013… I will still have them gone!
That is a big deal. I should be proud instead of hating myself for gaining 10 out of my original 60 back. Would I like to lose more…of course…and I am in process of getting my health, energy and mojo back… so I know I will!
I just need to focus on the positives and stop the listening to naysayers and saboteurs….because I beat the odds…I didn’t gain my weight back plus 10% like statistics say 90% of people who lose large amounts of weight do in the first year. I had a small detour in a life time journey…and I am ok with that!
So for the first time ever in my life I got a compliment on my legs!! I was wearing this outfit at the time. I could have cried..I swear. My self esteem has been so low for so long that adjusting and responding to compliments from anyone other than the hubby is a new and odd thing for me.
I never thought about my legs before...I never hated them....but I never liked them either....but as I have lost weight I realize that my legs are a ok feature of mine....lol.
I know there are way better shaped and longer legs out there...but for me...I am learning to appreciate all things about my changing body...and learning to love me...I guess getting closer to 40 is making me smarter...just not healthier.
So a little back ground...my marathon runner friends wanted to do the 1/2 marathon in Pittsburgh...but it was sold out. So they sucked me and 2 other "walker" friends into doing the relay with them...so thats how I ended up in Pittsburgh at 5am in the morning on my 17th wedding annivesary..sounds romantic doesn't it!
So after getting a quick pic with my sweetie...we got our bibs pinned on... grab our water and walked to the starting area and stopped for a few team pre race pics.
We were team LADIES AND A TRAMP...haha ;)
Now the actual start time was getting closer and it was time for me to give my hunny a kiss and head to my relay exchange...I was leg 2...he was head to leg 3 to see me finish...we hoped!! haha..so off I went alone...I was nervous...scared and excited all at the same time.
As I was waiting for my team mate I had time to think about a lot of things...how did I end up here today of all days...usually on our anniversary we were eating dinner at some really good..but O' so bad for us place...sitting in a dark movie theater ..chowing down on fat laden snacks but not this year...this year I was running in a race...a big race...a 25,000 people race!!
I can't even wrap my head around it yet and its been three days....I was never athletic after 7 grade....had 2 broken knees due to a cheer-leading accident that never healed right and have had knee issues since...arthritis set in early in my 20's and the 80 pounds extra didn't help!! Last May....I was about 10 pounds down in my journey and I was just starting to see that there was someone different than a couch potato inside of me...did I see a runner...heck no!!
But guess what.....here she is....
....did I run my whole LEG...nope...did I run across that relay exchange O YEAH!!! and guess who was waiting there with tears in is eyes....just like 17 years ago on this exact day .....my "boyfriend" of 20 years!! My #1 Cheerleader...my sweet and adorable hubby!! I couldn't have asked for a better day!! It was perfect!!
So as far as my personal time goal ...I was 2 minutes short of what I wanted....those "Burgh Hills" got the best of me...lol.....but our team goal was 5:25 and we finished at 5:09!! So we were all really happy and really proud!! I love that my two friends who run all the time never made us walker/runners feel like we didn't do our part...they were so so proud of us...the fact that we are trying to change us!! To be participates......NOT SPECTATORS!!!
Us with our new bling....aka Finishers Medals :)
Me with my second favorite piece of "gold" jewelry I have ever gotten on a May 6th!!
So a little background....I got sucked into running the Pittsburgh Marathon as a relay team on May 6th.. (: which coincidentally happens to fall on my 17th wedding anniversary :) ...with my crazy Marathon runner friend Connie and her just as nuts brother and two of our other friends who like me are less runner and more casual walkers.
Over the last 6 weeks...as weather permits I have taken to the local track or my small town and ran/walked practice races...I set a goal for myself that I would like to hit my leg which is 3.5 miles at 49 minutes...you may be avid runners and think this is nothing...but to me with arthritis in my knees since 16 it is a very very big deal.
My best time prior today was 52 minutes....that was 3 weeks ago...and I haven't ran once outside in those three weeks...due to weather...being sick and having a flair up of pain in my knees.... it all just seem to all work against me....I have done some treadmill work and pushed my self on the Elliptical....but this was the first time back at the track.
So today I headed up to the track to do my final practice run before the race....I set my Endomodo app and thought I had my play list on WORKOUT...but as soon as I started I realized in was on my SLOWSONG playlist...well I didn't want to deal with messing around with it as I was already starting to run/walk... so I let it play.
The first mile was going really good...I hit 13:13 and was totally shocked when the app told me I was on pace for a 47 minute finish...so I started to really push myself even with SLOW and sappy songs cheering me along and then the pain started....first in my right knee then... then my right lower back...I had a second of doubt as I was hitting the middle of my second mile .... and then Hallelujah by the Canadian Tenors...started to play and a strong wind hit my back that sent shivers down my spine and tears down my cheek....and I started to thank God for letting me get this far in my journey....for giving me the strength to fight every day the food addiction and the strength to do things I thought impossible...and you know what....that .25mile was the easiest I have every had in my life...I felt no pain...no stress...just me and my Lord...out for a run...at the end of the .25 mile ....I said to him...thank you for wrapping me in your arms today Lord...now go take care of someone who really needs it....my God has a sense of humor and we laugh with each other quite often.
I just wanted to share this special moment I had today....it something I will never forget!
Whatever your beliefs ....we can all find that reason to push past the hard things in life....my happens to be my faith...which helped me surpass my best run ever today and log in a time of 47:14! ...2 plus minutes less than my original goal.
So I take my progress pics...every 5 to 10 pounds....and yesterday I was taking my ....55lb gone pic and I noticed something I haven't seen in a very very very long time!!!
COLLAR BONES...I could have cried when I uploaded the pic on to my computer and there they were....I was so happy.
Sometimes the scale doesn't go down as fast as I want....or the tape measure is not getting smaller every month...and then all the sudden noticing an unmeasured success can be the difference in continuing and finding the motivation to go on.
Sometimes its nice to slow down and realize we will get to that final number...we just have to give it time....and enjoy the small successes along the way....just not the big numbers on the scale.