adventures in eating?

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

I just finished reading the SparkCoach lesson for the day in which I have been encouraged to think about having fun on this weight loss adventure. The problem is, I haven't lost a pound! Well, I've lost a couple and found them again right away. I don't think eating is fun at all. It's a pain in my neck -- or ass, if you want the truth. The other problem is, I love to eat, even though it's not fun. Confusing.

I have managed to find exercise I enjoy, but after 18 months of swimming, I'm a little bored. I added 20 lengths of flippers today, and that helped.

Though the swimming work out is a little tired and eating is not fun, I do feel encouraged. I have regained my strength and I can do things I haven't been able to do in a long time. I can move furniture and mow the lawn and shovel snow. I can get into my kayak (though getting out is still difficult) and I can swim, swim, swim. The seatbelt in my car is still tight. Everything in it's own time, I guess.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TLP1958 1/8/2013 12:17PM

Thanks for your encouragement. I think fun is the wrong word for eating. I do enjoy eating -- in the moment. I love eating. I love food. I think what distresses me is my unwillingness to stop when I am full if something tastes really good. It all has to do with self-discipline. That's never been my strong suit when it comes to food. Hard cheese is a good example. I love hard cheeses - the sharper, the better. I tell myself I am only going to use a measured amount on salad or with whole grain crackers or bread, etc. when I buy it. But this is not the way I handle it when I get it home. It calls to me from the fridge, and I don't resist. This is the not fun part about eating. Right now I am focusing on the taste of that cheese and eating it slowly. I'm trying to slow everything down when it comes to eating as well as trying to recognize when I am full. This exercise is working in terms of conscious eating, so I guess it's a step in the right direction. THanks for your comments and questions. They helped me work through this confusion a bit. Report Inappropriate Comment

CAPECODLIGHT 1/8/2013 11:28AM

Sounds like you are healthier, and that IS fun! (or at least, good). I did find your relationship with food you described as confusing. Is it because you aren't eating the foods you love now? Is there something you can do to make it fun/enjoyable? Report Inappropriate Comment

Back on Board

Friday, January 04, 2013

The holidays are behind us and we've recovered (mostly) from the flu bug that has struck our town. There is a nice blanket of snow on the ground, Mom and Dad have arrrived safely at their winter retreat, and I am anxious to get back into the pool on Monday. I've been thinking a lot about doing some different kinds of exercise. I think I may be strong enough now to try snow shoeing or cross country skiing again. We are going to dig the equipment out of the barn today and at least try on the boots!

I am committing to getting back on the scale tomorrow morning as well. Hello 2013

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCRAPPINPOLLY 1/4/2013 12:28PM

You can do it! Report Inappropriate Comment

Girl interrupted

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I am at that age when aging parents have become a focus of concern. My weight loss journey has been interrupted by a long month of focusing on my mom's recovery from a serious surgery. Food wasn't the problem -- fatigue was the problem. I am still worn out. The longer I stay tired, the harder it is to exercise. I need to take mini-bites of activity like I did when I first started so I can get back on track. I am afraid to get on the scale because I don't want to see that I've regained the 11 pounds I worked so hard to lose. I am so tired of fighting this battle!!!!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCRAPPINPOLLY 12/12/2012 10:13AM

I can definitely relate to this!! I hope your mom is doing better. Report Inappropriate Comment

Back on Track

Friday, October 05, 2012

It's been a trying couple of weeks. Mostly due to pain and a bit of depression. The good news is, I continued to swim everyday. I did have some food issues, but feel better the last couple of days. We're headed into some nasty weather again, so I anticipate a little set back in terms of pain, but will work harder to communicate with others in order to cope with it rather than use food.

I used the SparkCoach email feature early this week and got a really thoughtful and helpful response. This stuff really does work!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AJWALKLEY 10/5/2012 12:21PM

Good for you! Swimming is wonderful and any type of exercise can help boost the mood. You're doing great! Report Inappropriate Comment

Seeking Strength . . . again

Thursday, September 20, 2012

I seem to be in a bit of a fog, lately. A fog laced with anxiety and worry. September brought with it the busy-ness of the school year, though I am currently not working. And I am worried about not working -- not just because of money reasons, but because I am worried that I will not ever work again and because I am worried that I if I do work again, I will not be able to handle it. These are irrational fears, and I'm not sure where they are coming from other than the usual underlying depression I experience on any given day.

The SparkCoach message today was about motivation. The assignment was to identify the reasons I want to lose weight. Some of those reasons are very normal -- I want to be able to play with my grandchildren should I be lucky enough to have some. But beyond that is a deep-seated desire to be rid of my medications - the poisons I am tied to in order to live a decent life. My pain levels are elevated right now and I am forced to think about the fact that I do, indeed, have rheumatoid arthritis. There are days when I can ignore this fact, but then blammo -- I'm in the grips of a flare and it just pisses me off.

I am reading Eat to Live. The author claims that even people like me can get rid of medications if I will just eat a mountain of vegetables. It upsets me. Makes me sad. Makes me angry, too. I want to make an appointment with him and say PROVE IT! Help me get off these poisons!

I am reminded as I type this that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. I will get through this crisis. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. I can do all things through Him.