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TLONSBE's Recent Blog Entries
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Tuesday, October 30, 2012
 For me to keep my goals in tact....And I'm sure this is the same for so many out there who struggle with weight loss........ I have to have an over all picture of what I'm reaching for....So besides the scale I also measure myself monthly. I measured on Oct 1, 2012 and just really wanted to see where I was as of today Oct 30, 2012. I know I'm early by one day or so, I should have waited till Nov 1, 2012, but I have made some major changes to my eating habits, and it has seemed to pay off....though the scales did not move much this month, I did lose 5.5 inches over my total body....which is awesome. It makes me feels super good.....And I hope that every one out who is also working towards a goal ....are seeing the results that are making them happy...and helping them keep pushing forward.....Have a wonderful Tuesday everyone!!!! 
Monday, October 29, 2012
SO this weekend I relaxed, watched movies and made banana bread, and did so good o'shopping. Made me feel so much better, then I have in recent days. I went to Aeropostal and bought a pair of pants (without trying them on) and when I got home, I put them on and they fit. Made me so happy I never thought I would ever be able to fit in clothes from stores like that...Its amazing what a little had work can do!!!
Friday, October 26, 2012
I had my number one Goal Fail .....My goal was to lose as much weight as possible before 01/01/2014 cause in April 2014 had a Cruise Planned, The Cruise was a 7 day Western Caribbean Cruise. I got a letter from the Cruise advising me that the Vacation I chose was being cancelled and I would be refunded the money that was paid towards my deposit. This really through me for a loop. I gained 9 pounds after finding this out mentally, I had nothing to look forward too. I'm still struggling to find a new goal....but at least my physical being has repaired its self and I have lost the 9 pounds that were gained....I want to plan another Vacation, where looking good is a plus so I can so off all of my hard work.....Is this an unrealistic Goal...most likely....but at least its something to look forward too.... 
Thursday, October 25, 2012
April, May, and June the weight loss cont. by June 10th I was down to 240.6....a total of almost 30 pounds. I was doing so much research online about ways to speed up my weight loss, and how to improve my life. I new that there had to be changes made, I was seeing a pattern that was not going to help me in the long run. So I started to eat a new way, I turned to Paleo...And I love it, I stopped all processed foods, all fast food, all sodas, but as with everything in my life I go to the extreme. I even cut out fat! I figured Low Carb, Low Fat would be great way to drop more weight and it worked for awhile by 08/13/2012 I was down to 219 pounds which is crazy ...in 8 months I had lost 51 pounds. Through all of this I was still lonely, still single and still being depressed with the whats wrong with me thoughts, I see so many people out there who are in relationships and they seem happy, some are every bigger then me weight wise....Yes I'm shy, and I have no friends, So I signed up for a single site, that did not help, those are scary. But in turn it has opened my eyes to the fact that I'm not ready to date, thou I really want to....I have mentally not come to grips with the weight I have lost....and I'm afraid that if I met someone they well not love me, because of the extra weight, extra skin, and issue's with my self esteem...this and the fact that I have cut out to much fat from my diet, has cause stress on my body and I have stopped losing weight and my hair started falling out, even had to cancel my Awesome Vacation do to Scheduling Conflicts has made me turn back to emotional and closet eating again...all of this brings us to The Current month Of October 2012 where I started out at 213 pounds and have since gained back 6 pounds....I just this week, evaluated my situation and started adding healthy fat back in to my Paleo Diet, and started exercising again. Hoping that I can restart my system, stop my hair lose, keep losing weight, and make myself truly happy, I'm not sure why I think meeting someone will make everything perfect and complete my life, but for some reason that is still stuck in the back of my mind, I'm not sure were to take my next step, but I know that it has to be for me and me alone, I'm working every single day to love myself, and to hold my head high, but in the back of my mind I'm still a scared fat girl who will never amount to anything, And I fear that I will not lose the last 95 pounds that I need to, the pounds that mentally I feel I need to lose to be happy, and to be able to love myself....I will keep updating this as the days go.....just wanted to put my struggles out there hoping that once there in the written form I can learn from them, and find away to be happy with myself inside and out.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
So once February got here, I started out strong, still determined to lose all this extra weight....on 02/05/2012 I weighed in at 262.6...Which is great, but there is always so much missing in my life or at least I feel that way. I have the mental set of Fat girl....I learned that this comes from me being at Emotional Eater, and that no matter how hard I work to lose weight, this will always be my number one battle, I have to learn not to turn to food when I'm lonely, sad, bored, etc. ....I'm also a closet eater...Which is someone who eats in hiding and them acts like it never happened. I still still battle with this every single day of my life. But during this time I pushed forward and made a goal to lose all my weight by 01/01/2014, I figure this would give me enough time to lose 145 pounds, slow and safely so I can keep it off for the rest of my life.....So by the end of February I was down to 258.2.........My first weigh in March I was 258 and that's when I made a change, Along with my current food plan and workout goals I added HCG drops, not sure if they really helped or if they were just something to make you think they are working, so you believe that all the money you are spending is okay. I was not yet doing the required 500 calorie diet cause I knew that would be a failure from the start....but I did mange to drop down to 252.4....Then with much joy in my heart I started out April with a bang.....I for the first time since who know when weighed in at 249.2, I was under 250 and that felt amazing. I decided that now it was time to add a new goal lose weight to go on a awesome Vacation once I was at goal, and to find someone to love me. I have been single for 6 years and have never known the true meaning of being loved, I thought well I love this new me that has lost 20 pounds so far on this new journey, so there most be someone out there who wants to love me as well. Boy was I wrong...... 
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