TLENGYEL   19,546
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TLENGYEL's Recent Blog Entries

Injuries are tough!

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

So I hurt my ankle the beginning of May and I've been in an air cast since then. Stress fracture/tendon inflammation/etc. I have trouble walking any extended distances and I could go on and on... I've just started being able to drive again, but I don't know where to go since I can't walk across the parking lot to get into a store!

My first couple of weeks I did well.. I was sticking to a normal eating plan, trying to cut back as well, since I'm not able to exercise much... I was trying to keep the house clean, trying to continue to do a little bit of working out to keep all of the muscle I worked so hard for...

Then I would slip back... More pain, more sitting. Then my diet got off track. I've gained weight, I know by my clothes, but haven't really been able to get on my scale. And I felt yucky because I wasn't eating normal... Then depressed because my little one gets out of school in less than a week and I'm still tied to the couch...

I don't even know how to help myself heal any faster... I've lost motivation. I just don't care that much anymore about my muscle, about my appearance, about much of anything... I just need to heal and do it quickly. I know once I can walk again I will get back to it... I will increase my motivation, and I will start slowly. I will be able to stand and cook the foods that I want. I will be able to make it around the house easily. I have no doubt. I just don't know what to do since I can't do, well, anything!

Prayers are appreciated for a fast(er) recovery! I need them!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADMANSMAMA87 5/28/2014 11:34AM

    Tiffany,

I hope you heal quickly! It stinks when you encounter a bump in the road but it doesn't have to steer the car off the road! Maybe try focusing on doing light hand weights for now since you can do that sitting if need be! Also, if you have Pinterest, start a motivational quotes & fitness board! I have one that I use regularly to stay focused! It has really helped me out along my journey! SP also has some seated workout videos you could check out! Again, I hope you heal quickly & are back to good health soon! Don't give up, Pretty Lady! YOU are WORTH it!!!!

Stay Positive,

Jes

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 5/28/2014 11:29AM

    Sending you prayers and positive thoughts for your speedy recovery!

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 5/28/2014 11:29AM

    Sending you prayers and positive thoughts for your speedy recovery!!

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LOVELESMILLS 5/28/2014 10:31AM

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December Goals...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Yes, I know December will be over before I know it but I still want to write these down since I'm kind of starting fresh this month!

1.) I'm going to track my food at least 2 - 3 days per week for the rest of the month... (I did this today, and wow, I am so much more conscious of the food I put in my mouth when I do this). It's quite amazing!

2.) I'm going to do circuit training or hiit training at least twice a week, but hopefully more... (I plan on finishing out the month with over 500 fitness minutes, as it's been awhile).

3.) I will still look for and apply to jobs at least 3 days a week, but as a Recruiter, I will understand that a lot of companies don't like to hire around the holidays. So I won't get frustrated.

4.) I'll do some online networking and trying to increase my employment opportunities (like I've already done today).

5.) I'll do something I enjoy, for me, at least 2 days a week for the rest of the month.

6.) I'll count my blessings and be grateful for what I have every day... And I'll hold myself to normal standards, not something completely unreasonable!

Hope you all have an amazing holiday and thanks for your support!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 12/17/2013 1:52PM

    Great goals! I am taking the month to work my way up to the start of the new year... hoping to hop back on my 'motivation' train (been feeling sore and not well with female stuff going on preventing me from working out as I normally like to).

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AJB121299 12/17/2013 12:32PM

    nice

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Trying to hold myself accountable for getting back into good choices

Friday, December 13, 2013

I've still been having trouble making my normal good decisions... But I'm coming up on my 2 year anniversary of being with SparkPeople so I need to get back to my normal mindset!

Yesterday, did I have 5 hershey's kisses? Yes. Did I have a big handful of salt and vinegar chips that need to leave the house? Yes, I did.

But to compensate I stopped after one handful and heated up my brussel sprouts to eat as a snack. At dinner I didn't eat the italian sausages that my husband made, I did my bbq tofu...

I think it will just take me some time... I haven't gotten on the scale in a week, but I have a doctors appointment on Monday. So whether I want to see it or not, I shall know soon enough if I've reached my top allowable weight... (In my mind, that is 125, considering I am only 5'2)...

Hope everyone's Friday is wonderful!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 12/13/2013 11:49AM

    Good luck on Monday! Sounds like you are indeed making good choices - moderation instead of deprivation : )

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A little lost...

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

So I've been feeling a little lost this week... Or maybe insanely lost...

I started a new, full-time job in an office in October... I was okay with being gone full-time, and only seeing my daughter for about 2 hours a day. I was okay with it because we needed the money for her college fund.. I haven't had a regular, really steady paycheck since she was born, so I felt it was time for me to catch up...

I kept up with my workouts, just less of them... I got up around 4:30 every morning, to try to get a tiny bit of time on the elliptical or with my kettlebells... My god, I was just actually getting used to it, and starting to get a full 30 minutes in... (It takes me awhile to get into a routine)...

But this place I went to work for was like walking into hell every single day... I finally got really good at handling being screamed at... On Monday, the day that i left, I just sat there while getting screamed at. My face didn't turn red, I didn't shake, I didn't cry. I just sat there in disbelief... Craziness...

So after that last episode of screaming, I cleaned out my email. I cleaned off any documents I brought with me to this job, I cleaned out my desk. Then I walked out the door and never looked back...

But now I'm home. And I'm alone. Just for a couple of days. But I don't really feel like I have any purpose. I haven't been feeding myself well.. I have been my number 1 priority for the last several years. Feeding my body well, taking care of it, exercising, etc... But I'm sad. And I'm depressed. I worked really hard to get that job. I worked really hard to let go of the yelling, to let go of the fact that I was told I wasn't capable of making any decisions, that I didn't know what I was talking about. I worked really hard to try to maintain positive working relationships. So how do I get myself back? How do I start to focus and care about me again?

Right now it's just a work in progress. I have to matter. I just have to get back to that good place again. Maybe it will just take some time...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRIMSONFYRE 12/12/2013 7:03AM

    It takes guts to walk away from an abusive work environment, even if you do not already have something lined up. I had to do that about 4 years ago to a job because I got tired of being singled out and yelled at/written up just because I was the only female programmer in the office. It took me awhile to find another job, so I had to stick with that one. Since it was just me, I couldn't afford to be without a job for more than a week.
You will find something you love if you keep looking. As for your body, you should love you, no matter what happens. Think of the you that will need to be there as your child grows up :)

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SHILOBOOTH 12/12/2013 2:22AM

    Congratulations on just walking away with your head held high and not giving the bullies the satisfaction. I think you have to remember that whilst you feel you may have written it off all that screaming has a subconscious effect. I've been there, it's quite damaging but you can recover and recovery quickly.

My advice - sit down and plan. Write it all down in handwriting, what you want to achieve. A nice list.

Give it a few days if need be to let it sink in - keep looking at your list.

Then sit down and plan how to achieve each item. Then do it bit by bit.

Lastly, once back into a routine start looking for work again - keep at it and eventually something will click. Doesn't matter how long it takes.

You are worthy of so much more than being screamed at and insulted! I admire your strength cos frankly I think I'd be up for assault if I was in a similar position!

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KATYDID412 12/11/2013 2:41PM

    I agree with both of the commenters above me. You got yourself out of an abusive situation and did so with dignity. That took a lot of guts. It'll take some time to get past that, so breathe deep and try to be gentle and patient with yourself. It'll come.

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 12/11/2013 2:35PM

    No one should ever be treated that way. I don't blame you for walking out and it's normal to feel a little 'lost' for now.

Take time to reflect and think about your next step. That was just not the right job for you but it doesn't mean there isn't an amazing one out there somewhere. I was let go from a job with a bad supervisor and it was the door that opened to the wonderful job I have today. emoticon

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LAMILLER365 12/11/2013 1:36PM

  You have gone through something really difficult with great dignity. You took care of yourself too! It sounds to me like you know who you are. Anyone strong enough to do what you did certainly must.

Exercise always pushes the good feelings. Perhaps working out with a friend?

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A work in progress...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

So I've been working on me for quite some time now! Since I started with SparkPeople in January 2012(?) I've lost 38 pounds or something of that nature...

I've started eating healthier. I've started exercising on a regular basis. I've been building up strength and endurance, something I've never had in 34 years... But it seems strange to me that these things appear to be easy to me, not like what I'm working on right now...

My goal is to be a healthier person. My body and my mind. But this is the difficult part. How do I forgive people? I've been working on this for months, with no resolution! I've read books. I've tried meditation. I've tried going back and remembering and trying to release emotions. I've gone to a therapist. But how do I not let the in-laws hurt what I truly am on the inside?

And I need to remember the positives! What have I gained from this 7 year struggle with them?

I've gotten back to living a healthy life. They can not determine what or when I put food into my body. I eat better, therefore, my body performs better, it is healthier, and I am happier.

I am physically strong. My body can weather any storm and I am proud of all of the hard work that I have accomplished. I hope to keep progressing forward with this...

I have built a stronger relationship with my husband, and I have faith that he will now defend me when the waters get tough with his family. I couldn't ask for more from him.

I have created a "normal" family for our daughter. She doesn't get normal with the in-laws, so I have done my best to create that for her. She has to live with what we have, but that doesn't mean our expectations should be any lower.

After all of this I am back to being confident that I am a good person. I don't do things with the intent to hurt people. I trust that I will make the best decisions that I can, given the circumstances. And I'm okay with that. They used to make me question that, but I know me, and I am good!

I am trying very hard to see the positive in everything. Positive attracts positive. I can't let them control how I behave and how I feel any longer. And that, my friends, is a work in progress....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJREIMERS 7/2/2013 4:31PM

    I'm not sure if "forgiveness" is the right word in regards to your in-laws. Do they know that what they say/do hurts you? (I don't know the entire situation, sorry.) They may or may not. Despite either one, it's up to you to "cast it aside and move on." Easy? Absolutely not!

A couple of sayings that has stuck out to me basically say,
1) You can't make everyone happy, so stop trying and start living.
2) Stop auditioning for other people's lives.
3) If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.
4) The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone, and forgetting that you are special, too.

I don't mean to sound harsh and you have to have a relationship with your in-laws because of your husband, but if they aren't willing to try...then let it go. Be civil, but don't go out of your way. Be polite, but don't kiss butt. Be respectful, but don't continue giving more than you are getting.

In short, be the wonderful person that you are. If they can't see that, that's their issue. One thing I have learned is I don't have to make others' issues mine.

Good luck and hand in there!! emoticon

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CHRIMSONFYRE 5/30/2013 6:59AM

    woohoo, great positives! I love reading about good changes people have made and how they are happier, etc. Thank you for sharing!
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NUOVAELLE 5/30/2013 2:47AM

    You know, it's very easy to just say to someone "I forgive you" and continue having all the bad feelings inside us. Real forgiveness is a divine quality that takes too much strength and lots of practice. Human weaknesses and overwhelming emotions make it really difficult. But just the fact that you are really trying hard to make it happen, shows your quality as a person. That's what being a good person is all about. Trying. Letting your mind and your thoughts and your soul be a constant work in progress.
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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 5/29/2013 3:22PM

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