Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Today is day 38 of my committment to 100 perfect days. To be perfect, I must stay within my calaorie range, get at least 25 grams of fiber, exercise every single day and check in with my daily progress. Well 38 days later, it's definitely a habit. I love that even when I don't feel like it - I push myself to go work out - becuase I have a goal in my mind and I refuse to break my streak.
I am feeling really good and am proud to say that I have been truthful with myself and am actually seeing the progress myself. I am down a size in clothes and can feel the energy shift my body is enjoying.
I intentionally started this 100 day commitment during the hardest 60 days of the year. I know that if I can get through Thanksgiving and Christmas and all the social events that come with it, I can accomplish absolutely ANYTHING!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
If you aren't familiar with Out of the Darkness walks, they are sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. This organization has so many resources for people who have lost someone to suicide, who contemplate suicide or who suffer from depression or other mental diagnosis.
There are community walks throughout the country, there are campus walks and there is one overnight walk per year. This year it was in New York City. I walked to honor my brother-in-law who died by suicide ten years ago. It's amazing to me that ten years have passed, but what a healing experience it was. We walked with over 2000 walkers who collectively raised 2.5 million dollars for AFSP.
The walk itself was powerful, mentally challenging and physically grueling. We walked 18 miles overnight. But it was the most amazing thing I have ever done. We started out at Cadman Plaza. . .walked through some of Brooklyn and then crossed the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan. We walked on Wall Street, Broadway and right by Ground Zero. The sights were astounding, but my favorite part was meeting people who also had a story to share. I met a woman from Puerto Rico who just lost her son in February. They had walked the walk for years, but she lost him to suicide just months ago. She found the courage to walk this year without him. I met a woman who lost her brother, I met several teenagers who lost their best friend. I even met a woman who lost her grandfather to suicide one year ago.
In retrospect, what amazes me, is the resolve that, we, as human beings have to survive. I look back at all the years I have battled my weight and my depression and I realize that I am a survivor. I am on a journey to get healthy and to survive! I was so proud of myself for completing the full 18 miles and happy to report that I didn't have one blister! I trained hard for it. I set my mind to it and I succeeded - just like I am doing with my weight loss journey!
If you get a chance to check out AFSP - sign up for a community walk. It's for a great cause. Next year's overnight is in San Francisco. I'm not sure I want to walk those hills, but I may try anyway!
Monday, April 25, 2011
So, an intersting discovery was made yesterday, Easter Sunday, 2011. Candy (particularly Cadbury Robin Eggs and chocolate covered marshmallow eggs), and I have broken up for good. Sure, I looked at them, perhaps even coveted them a bit, but I did not allow myself to continue my romance with the very thing that has brought me to where I am - struggling to drop pounds and inches!
I have had a long love affair with junk food, but something is changing inside of me. That candy at Easter, those chips and drinks at parties - the general overindulgence hasn't really been a positive thing. Sure, I THOUGHT I felt better, but after months of struggling, and making the decision to take sugar out of my diet - has truly changed my life. I realized - TRULY REALIZED - that my relief was temporary. I was band aiding lots of "emotional" issues. The food was my comfort and my friend - or so I thought.
As my kids chowed down all of their chocolate and other treats, I really did struggle for a minute or two. I really wanted to just have one - but then I remembered my promise to myself - and reminded myself that one is too many and ten is not enough. (I learned that from an addiction counselor). While I may have felt a longing for that "comfort", it too was only temporary, and I woke up this morning in full VICTORY mode! I did it! I survived Easter without one tiny speckle of sugar!
So I say to my old loves - It was great while it lasted, but I'm moving on to better things! Keep moving forward! Count every success and before you know it - you will have won little battles after little battles! If I can do it - anyone can!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Well, I didn't throw it away, exactly. It's no longer in my bathroom. I have been a scale a holic for my entire life. My mornings have always consisted of waking up, going to the bathroom and checking my weight - almost every day. But today I say "NO MORE"!
My mom and I joined a weight loss program together recently, and I promised myself that I would not "obsess" about the number. The easiest way to do that was to quit my scale - COLD TURKEY!
It has been nearly 30 days since I weighed myself (outside of my center weigh ins) and it is amazing. I feel free. My day is not dictated by that darn "number". But mostly - it makes me stay on plan. I'm not sabatoging myself becuase I might be "up" and I'm not celebrating because I might be "down". I'm just following my plan and feeling very satisfied with that!
It's invigorating, it's refreshing, it is absolutely the best thing I could have done for myself. Sorry, old friend, you won't be "weighing" me down anymore!
Here's to FREEDOM! Cheers!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
My four year old niece from Oregon says this to me when she calls me. It makes me laugh. . . she picked it up from some show or movie she saw, but her little voice just makes it priceless!
My weight loss battle is blah blah blah yak yak yak. I talk and talk and talk about doing something. I've lost the weight before, but I haven't kept if off, plus each time I've gained a little more. So here I am again, talking about losing weight.
In my quest to lose weight, I have disovered that I REALLY enjoy exercising. I like the benefits of it. I like how I feel, I love the energy it restores in me and I really like to sweat. There's just something so satifying about sweating (in certain situations). :)
Recently, while talking to a fitness trainer, who was trying to sell me a personal trainer package, said something to me that really turned a switch in me. She said "what if I told you that you could weigh 180 pounds and be sexy curvy and have a drop dead gorgeous body". I, of course, smiled and said "I WOULD LOVE THAT"!
Why, you may ask? Because all of my life I've struggled with my weight. Every attempt has been to hit a certain "number" on the scale. In 2004 I lost 80 pounds and was only a few pounds away from my "number" but my body would not budge. I was so obsessed about it that I told myself I had failed. Never once did I tell myself "way to go - look how far you've come", I just beat myself up about not making it to the finish line. Even though I was 5'7" and in a size 10 - I didn't see that as a sucess. WOW! How sad is THAT!
So the switch that my new hero Elisha turned on for me is this. . . .focus on my body composition. Stop looking at the number on the scale. I have moved the scale out of my bathroom. I will no longer depend on it to determine my success. There is so much to learn here - doctor after doctor after doctor has told me that I need to be in this "range", that my body just won't go to. I have been at my thinnest and had my physician tell me that I am obese. NO MORE!
I am going to focus on my bmi, I will continue to make my body stronger with exercse and I will see every day as a success - not because I am on a quest to reach a "number" but because every choice I make to better myself puts me on the quest to peace of mind and personal satisfaction.
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