Oh my poor baby.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Mike is our youngest son. Academically he has always struggled. His ADHD is rather severe but medication makes him feel worse. Besides, after a certain time, all I can do is remind him to take them. And of course he didn't.

He was invited to attend Mount St Joseph High School not on the basis of his test scores but on the weight of his older brother's performance there. Mike struggled there for four years, always right on the cusp of failure.

Then came college acceptance time. None of the colleges he applied to wanted him. Finally one day a letter arrived form Alvernia University in Reading PA that began "Dear Parents, Congratulation on your son Michael's acceptance to Alvernia University." The letter went on to discuss various payment options.

When Mike got home from school, we were all over him. Why didn't you tell us? He was totally confused and produced for us his rejection letter from Alvernia. Fortunately, his principal went to bat for him, using his influence as the principal of a major Catholic High School to gently twist the arm of the Admissions Dean of a minor Catholic University. They took on Mike as a probationary student.

I have always had the opinion that many, if not most, of the student in college don't really belong there. As it turns out, Mike was one of them. He failed all but one course in his first semester and has been struggling mightily in the first four weeks of the second.

Today he called and I knew something was up. He and his counselor jointly decided that now was not Mike's time for college. I think he was afraid to tell me. Tonight he called again and he was in great distress. I know he felt like a failure. But I reminded him that I didn't even start college until I was 27, almost 28 years old. "Really?" I could hear the "I'm a failure" burden lift from his voice. I know he was expecting me to be hard on him. I can't because I understand him better than he thinks. I too am an ADHD boy. When I was in school they called it lazy, unmotivated, stupid, undisciplined. I got punished and even clobbered for bad grades. Nobody had special program for boys like me as the do now days. Medication was unheard of because it wasn't a medical problem but a disciplinary issue.

Now he has to get a job. I am going to try to convince him that a turn in the Air Force or Navy would do him a world of good.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POGOMOP 2/9/2012 1:08PM

you handled that gracefully and I'm sure the sigh of relief was more from him realizing you were being understanding instead of disappointed in him! Good job. Report Inappropriate Comment

SLIMMERJESSE 2/9/2012 12:14PM

You are very wise to not push him into something that is not best for him. Besides, how valuable is a degree now? Frankly, not very. I hope his stress is relieved by your kind understanding. When we are pushed into something that doesn't fit, it sets us up for failure. Report Inappropriate Comment

SLEEPYDEAN 2/9/2012 12:10PM

He really is lucky to have you. That is a bummer that that particular venture didn't work for him. It is a rough time out there for young people, I hope he can find something that works for him more. Perhaps an apprenticeship program or trade school? Report Inappropriate Comment

KLPEFFERS 2/9/2012 12:07PM

I don't feel sorry for your son, I feel like he has a super awesome parent who is supporting him the best way he can. I agree, college isn't right for everyone! My oldest step son was ADHD with LD too, school wasn't his thing. He decided to join the Army right after high school and he has found his "niche" and is doing super well and really is loving life. He has met a wonderful young lady and they are engaged to be married. You are a great influcene... just hold him up for now and let him know that it's not failure, its a new opportunity to find something else! Report Inappropriate Comment

-DYET- 2/9/2012 12:00PM

Awesome job Dad!!!! I do not have experience with ADHD, but support him in whatever life brings your family. I know you will do a great job! Report Inappropriate Comment

MEWHENRYSMAMA 2/8/2012 4:27PM

Poor Baby, but lucky young man to have such a Father! Have you considered tech Ed or Community College? Does he have a knack for cooking, baking, etc.? So much more help is at Communiy College, you might want to CK it out with a skill program rather than a degree! Best of Luck to you both! Report Inappropriate Comment

FUNFROG79 2/8/2012 10:22AM

You are a really great dad Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBBYFROMMT 2/8/2012 9:34AM

It's hard enough being that age with ADHD. College on top of that isn't a good combination. (our middle daughter is finding it very tough to be in school with ADD but is passing most of her classes, for now). Good for you letting him know what you did. I hope he finds something that he will enjoy. Report Inappropriate Comment

JECKIE 2/8/2012 9:20AM

I think it's very true that not every kid is cut out to go right to college (in fact, I think MOST kids would benefit from a few years in the work force). I didn't go to college until I was 28. I'm very glad I took that path. I got so much more out of my classes than I ever would have at 18. Report Inappropriate Comment

ROSALIEESTHER 2/8/2012 8:58AM

So glad you handles it like this. I am not a diagnosed ADD person but I sure know how hard it its for me to sure form and stay with reading even a page. In my 30's I was finally able to complete college and then went in to a higher degree. My career had been a struggle for me. Now, much older, I am finally scripting myself enough to realize that I would have been happier learning a trade early on. Don't get me wrong. I love having more knowledge of life and history. I don't ency people who never read a book. It's just that now I accept that it takes me a long time to read - and it's not a race. Also I start with the children's version. Good luck to you both. Report Inappropriate Comment

EMMANYC 2/8/2012 7:10AM

I think it takes a lot of courage for your son to say that college isn't a good fit for him right now, and I think he's very lucky to have a father who supports him in his decision to step away. I must admit, though, that I feel a twinge of concern about the idea of your son heading for the Air Force or Navy at this point. If is having difficulty with the "gentle" academic discipline of a university, how will he fare when faced with the tougher, and frankly life or death discipline, of the military? Today's forces require mental concentration and sustained attention - and if you get it wrong when you're deployed, you could get yourself or someone else killed. What about jobs that require physical effort and provide a stimulating external environment? Something like working in local, state or national parks? Or working with kids at a local recreation center? Or a construction trade? If he's good with computers, a computer technician role could be a surprisingly good fit because it provides a kind of structure but then requires him to bounce from one idea to another creatively to figure out solutions. Report Inappropriate Comment

LIVE4THETRAIL 2/8/2012 7:10AM

You my sir are a totally awesome dad. Wishing you both the very best. I can totally relate to what you were saying about not having a program for kids like you at school. I kinda went through the same as i suffer from a mild form of dyslexia. The majority of my teachers thought i was playing the class idiot and making fun of them by not following written instructions given to me. Unfortunately i ended up at the end of a few beltings because of this. It wasn't until i actually started work that i found out that i had this. Have a great day. Frankie Report Inappropriate Comment

KENTUCKYWOMAN 2/8/2012 3:39AM

Lovely. I agree you are a wonderful Dad. Hugs, Joan Report Inappropriate Comment

AMYNYNJ 2/8/2012 2:09AM

What a Great dad you are. Hang in there. Report Inappropriate Comment

MARVEEME 2/7/2012 10:50PM

You're a five star father, my friend. Kudos to you, and new found joy in the next leg of your cumulative journey with Mike and She (WMBO). You are ALL so blessed, and may the blessings continue and multiply, Amen. Report Inappropriate Comment

PIXIEMOM13 2/7/2012 9:59PM

I don't know.. I can see why you might say your poor baby.. but I think he's awfully lucky to have a dad like you.:) Best of luck to him in whatever path he chooses to follow! Report Inappropriate Comment

Scatter shot post

Monday, February 06, 2012

Some observations:

Mike drives in Pennsylvania now since that is where he goes to school. He found it amazing that a police officer pulled him over to give him a warning about driving in the left lane.

Me, too! I have never heard of such a thing!!

When he was learning to drive, I warned him that when he was following a car down the on ramp, he should pay attention to the license plate of the car in front of him If it was a Pennsylvania plate, he should prepare to stop. Now he reports that he now knows why; Pennsylkvania doesn't have on ramps as long as almost any other place he's ever driven. So in PA, you kind of have to stop.

Ah. Then last week we both got a PA eye-opener. He got pulled over for a speeding ticket. Eh, it happens. 61 in a 55. The fine is $37. Still no big deal. Then there are commonwealth-mandated fees: EMS $10, MCARE $30 (Medical Care and Reduction of Error - gives me a warm feeling), JEP/ARJ $10 (this buys laptops for the cop cars), and Costs $36 (no further explanation). That's $86 in sundry fees!.

Lesson? Don't speed in PA.

Today I was at Sams CLub. They sell gas at a members' price of $3.35. That's about 12 cents a gallon savings. On a twenty gallon fill up you save $2.40. People are lining up for more than 30 minutes for this savings. I wonder, if people did the arithmetic would they line up like that? I know my time is worth more than $5 and hour.

The Super Bowl Halftime show this year? Madonna? Who is she kidding? At age 53 it's pretty safe to say her pop-tart days are way behind her. And yet she tried to remind us that she was the original. Oh Well. I never much liked her anyway.

I don't generally watch much football. I never got the habit. But I did watch half of last night's game. She(WMBO) was watching on of those real estate reality shows on HGTV. I finally got her to change channels just in time for the Halftime Show. She liked it. I think She has bad taste. But I did get to watch the second half and it was a good game. It really kept my attention until the end.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 2/7/2012 6:33PM

I don't think you should speed anywhere! LOL! Report Inappropriate Comment

MEWHENRYSMAMA 2/7/2012 12:10PM

WOW, I WAS THINKING IT WAS A REALLY CHEAP TICKET COMPARED TO MICHIGAN AND THEN WHEN YOU ADDED ALL THE FEES IT CAME IN CLOSE...GOOD GRIEF! AND I MUST SAY I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHY PEOPLE WILL WAIT IN BIG LINES FOR AN AMAZING $2-3 A FILL UP! AND SOMETIMES, EVEN DRIVING MILES TO GET IN THE LINE! INTERESTING THINKING! HAVE A GREAT WEEK! Report Inappropriate Comment

MARVEEME 2/7/2012 7:29AM

I'm with She (WMBO). Madonna, at 53, is fit as a fiddle, and can still put on a great show. While I don't consider Madonna a mentor for her character, religious, or political views, she can be an excellent mentor for older women to stay fit and DANCE! There's a place in the world for everyone, and I pray for her to return to the Catholic church someday. I would LOVE to see her on EWTN's Journey Home program someday. Report Inappropriate Comment

BLUE42DOWN 2/7/2012 1:21AM

On driving in the left lane, I remember driving cross-country on I-80 that was actually a common thing. The only time to be in the left lane was passing. Here in California, at least most places I've driven, there's just too many cars on the road so every lane is in full use. But get out of metro areas and those you see all stay on the right unless passing. Traffic tickets here have all sorts of administrative costs tacked on too. And heavens forbid you can't pay on time. The late fees are deadly and almost never waived even if you went to court before they were due. (Yes, I speak from past experience.) Gas - people do that here at CostCo. My brother used to laugh at the ones who kept their car running the entire time they waited too. He reckoned they used up as much gas idling as the money they saved would have bought them. I don't drive currently, but I still cringe every time the prices climb again because things as basic as groceries trucked in cost more from transport costs. Report Inappropriate Comment

Use that microwave oven

Monday, February 06, 2012

I remember the Christmas my mom got her first microwave oven. Back in the early 1970s, microwave ovens were the next big thing in cooking. Everything could be cooked in a flash. Mom even tried to cook her turkey in it.

Yeah. We had spaghetti and meatballs for Christmas dinner that year.

Have you ever really tried to cook anything in the microwave? It is easily the quickest way to ruin a good piece of meat. Shoe leather anyone?

For a long time my use of it was reduced to heating water for tea and thawing things out. Then they came out with those bags of popcorn. Even those were a disaster. Either the bags and the corn burned or you had only half the kernels pop.

With a little practice and a little searching there are things you can do with the microwave oven.

Egg mugs -- Hungry Girl has a whole series of things she calls egg mugs. She stole the idea from me. Early on, I would spray a coffee mug with Pam and scramble an egg in there. But Lisa Lillien took things a little farther and was putting things other than cheese into the mug. She has some tips here: www.hungry-girl.com/newsletters/raw/
1573

Sterilize and deodorize sponges and cutting boards -- Engineers at the University of Florida demonstrated that microwaving a completely wet sponge for two minutes kills over 99% of harmful bacteria. To avoid a fire ensure your sponge is totally wet and heat for no longer than two minutes. Also, be careful not to burn your fingers when removing the sponge from your oven. This method works for sterilizing cutting boards, too. Scrub thoroughly, then heat on high for one or two minutes, depending on the size and thickness of the board.

Revive dry mascara -- Gunky mascara giving you blobby lashes? Heat the tube on high for 30 seconds, then test consistency and heat longer if necessary. I had no idea! Of course why would I?

Warm plates in the microwave -- Food stays warmer longer on a warm plate. Sprinkle each plate with water and place in a stack in the microwave. Heat on high for about 30 seconds.

Save crystallized honey -- They tell us that honey is the one food that apparently never goes bad. They have found perfectly goo honey in the pyramids! So what is up with that grainy stuff in the jar marked honey in my pantry? Well, it's not bad. Simply heat the honey until the crystals melt. A great trick to know about since quality honey is expensive!

And while we are at it ... Soften brown sugar -- Brown sugar can get hard and lumpy over time. Place hard sugar in a plastic bag with a few drops of water or a segment of fresh apple. Microwave for 20 seconds then stir. Now want to stop it from getting hard in the first place? Drop in a slice of bread. And keep some molasses on had. Never seen that go bad either. With molasses and white sugar, you can make brown sugar. Cool!

Proof yeast dough in the microwave -- Boil some water and pour it into a coffee mug. Place the mug at the back of the microwave, then place a very large covered bowl containing the dough in the center of the oven. Heat on low for three minutes, leave to rest for three minutes, then zap on low for another three minutes. Let rest for six minutes. The dough should double in size ... in far less time than it normally takes dough to rise.

Roast garlic in a flash -- Slice the top off a head of garlic to expose the flesh of the individual cloves. Place in a dish and drizzle with olive oil. Add a couple tablespoons of water to the dish, then heat on medium for around seven minutes.

Prep veggies for the grill -- Zapping vegetables in the microwave just prior to grilling cuts down on cooking time. Great tip if you're cooking for a crowd and need to cook lots of veggies fast.

Popcorn -- Wait a minute! I do that all the time. Act II, Orville Reddenbacher, Pop Secret all have microwave popcorn. Yep, but they are expensive compared to what they ought to cost. We got a 5 pound bag of corn and keep in it a sealed plastic bowl and it has lasted for a couple of years. We have a large plastic bowl and use a plate as a lid, dump in a couple of teaspoons of oil or butter, or not, and 1/4 cup of corn. Cook for as long as it takes for the popping to stop and you have popcorn. For about 1/3 the cost of those bags. I was doing it in brown bags until I let one go too long and it caught fire. Or you could purchase a microwave popcorn popper. Just Google microwave popcorn popper. Here's one:


www.mileskimball.com/MilesKimball/Sh
opping/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=00
00054146

Now you know. Your microwave is not just for baking potatoes, boiling water, popping corn or taking up space on your counter.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARVEEME 2/6/2012 7:25PM

Excellent information, my friend. You have a Hello Kitty microwave? Which is the bigger secret; that or the mascara trick? LOL Report Inappropriate Comment

DORAL33178 2/6/2012 7:11PM

Thanks for sharing. I mainly use the microwave to cook popcorn or boil water to add to my water bucket to mop the floor. And yes, you are right....if you do not watch your microwave like a hawk, you can ruin a good piece of meat. Enjoy your week. Daphne Report Inappropriate Comment

MEWHENRYSMAMA 2/6/2012 3:18PM

And one more for you. Go to You Tube and enter "Shucking corn--clean ears eveytime"! How to microwave your corn with out shucking...amazing! Thanks for tips! Report Inappropriate Comment

JAZZEJR 2/6/2012 12:29PM

Wonderful ideas! Thanks so much! Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBBYFROMMT 2/6/2012 9:17AM

These are great suggestions! I thaw bread in the microwave, 7 seconds per slice. I used to scramble eggs, but I haven't done than in a long time. I like the mascara trick, I may have to try that one sometime! Report Inappropriate Comment

FUNFROG79 2/6/2012 9:02AM

Fun suggestions! Love it! Thanks! Report Inappropriate Comment

BLUE42DOWN 2/6/2012 3:39AM

I'm slowly learning things that do cook well in the microwave. (Right now that's the only cooking option I have.) Scrambled eggs / omelets actually work well. I usually cook the egg a small amount, stir, mix in things like cheese or chopped green pepper, cook more, mix, cook to almost done. Ground beef (and probably ground turkey) works well - though it doesn't necessarily get as brown as pan-fried. But as I mix it with seasonings and tomato paste or sauce, that's not a big deal. Besides, I like steaks medium rare, so it isn't like pinkish meat scares me. Definitely do NOT like frozen broccoli cooked in the microwave, but those packages of spinach and squash work fine, as do the steamer packets of sweet peas and similar veggies. The one example given to be cautious of - honey. Be very aware of what kind of container you have the honey in. Some of those honey bears, the thin plastic containers common in grocery stores, will melt in the time it takes to soften the honey. Better to set those in a pan of hot water than nuke them. Report Inappropriate Comment

MTULLY 2/6/2012 12:46AM

I have definitely been underusing this appliance! I pretty much use it to reheat things and make popcorn (microwave popper, not the pricey packaged stuff with all sorts of ingredients you can't pronounce), but that is about it. I plan on using several of your suggestions (the honey, the warm plates, the roasted garlic to start with). Very helpful! Thank you so much for posting. Report Inappropriate Comment

There is something missing from my life.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

I was cleaning out the back room today and I came across something I haven't touched in years.

My music.

You read my blogs and you might think I am about running and exercise and food and weight loss. And probably in recent years, I have gotten that way.

I looked at my instruments and I wondered why I had packed them up and not touched them in years. Was it a sign that I have become skewed, out of balance? I am going to find a place for them.

I know why I packed them up ... we had many guests over for Christmas and I needed to get them out of the way. But I never put them back out. Not at all in the entirety to 2011!

I allowed my running to replace this pleasure in my life. That must change.

A mandolin or a banjo I can easily set in a corner and the will be out of the way. Unfortunately, I never really got good at them. Some of the finger contortions required to make chords on a mandolin seem impossible to me. The banjo is easier to play but something odd happens to my fingers when I do. I understand the development of callouses on your left hand, but I get hangnails on my right hand from using the finger picks required for picking in the Skruggs style. It's always on my index and middle fingers where the metal picks are used. So I never really got the hang of banjo picking either.

But I am willing to give them another go because I like the sound they make.

My other instruments are not nearly as mainstream as the mandolin and banjo ... if you can call those mainstream. I never bothered wth guitar or piano.

One is called a bowed psaltery.


unicornstrings.com/whatisit.htm

It is a trianglular sound box that is strung with 24(?) steel strings across which you pull a bow. It has a squeaky ringing sound that is not as unpleasant sounding as that description makes it seem. This link has is a video of a psaltery trio playing Come Thou Fount (AKA Infant Lowly, Infant Holy):
www.ringingstrings.com/Artist_-_Trac
k_15_4_.mp3

Unfortunately one of my children at some time in the past cut the horsehairs on my bows, probably the same one who tried to wreck my Sabatier knives when he was angry at me. I know where I can buy new horsehair and the resin to fix them. But what a pain.

Then I have a couple of Appalachian or mountain dulcimers.

Here's a video of Joni Mitchell playing one in concert:
youtu.be/-q4foLKDlcE

I don't play that well, and I for sure don't sing that well and I am not coordinated enought o do both at the same time. But I can play nice.

By far my favorite intrument is the Hammered dulcimer. These things are rather large and even when not set up, take up a lot of space. It one of those instrument you have probably heard and didn't even know it.

Here is a video of Stringfever demonstrating their virtuosity:
youtu.be/VjO7Iyn4hqM

The long side of that trapezoid is 46" on mine. So you can see it takes up quite a lot of space. But it is fun to play and I actually play it fairly well.

Or I did.

I need to pull at least my dulcimers out and start playing around again.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEWHENRYSMAMA 2/5/2012 9:50PM

Wow, yes you should! They are beautiful! Enjoy! Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBBYFROMMT 2/5/2012 7:47PM

Hey, you should put them on you tube so we can hear you! Report Inappropriate Comment

MARVEEME 2/5/2012 3:41PM

What are you waiting for indeed? Sebastian (my guitar) has been packed away for years now, but I know why. The caluses needed to comfortably play, along with the clear voice of my youth, have evaporated. At least DD and DH remember when. Don't let your passion, and these wonderful instruments, collect dust any longer. Life is for the living....so LIVE it lively. Report Inappropriate Comment

DORAL33178 2/5/2012 10:52AM

You definitely need to look over your schedule and find some time to fit in music. These are beautiful instruments that seem a joy to be played. I know my blogs are filled up with my half marathon training, but I also enjoy yard work, long walks, doing fun things with the kids like bubble blowing, strawberry picking, or just playing in the neighborhood. I carve out a small part of my day for me and the rest goes to my family. I am tired at the end of the day from all the activities I do (let's not forget the never ending chores)..and I would not have it any other way. Set your music room back up and get to it. Report Inappropriate Comment

FUNFROG79 2/5/2012 9:07AM

What a fun blog, get on it and play some tunes! Report Inappropriate Comment

HEALTHY1JESS 2/5/2012 8:00AM

Oooh! How cool! Welcome back to one of your other passions in life. Sometimes it's great to take a break from something in order to rediscover it. I was raised on traditional bluegrass music, so I know what you mean about the strange contortions required to play the mandolin and to play Scruggs style on the banjo. Beautiful music!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

BLUE42DOWN 2/5/2012 3:48AM

Hammered dulcimer is definitely one I like - the tones are smooth. Report Inappropriate Comment

REDSHOES2011 2/5/2012 12:33AM

The psaltery is still used and other old instruments are hot items in a Iceland band called Eluveitie- a mixture of heavy metal folk music alot about viking life and times.. If I recall theirs has a wind handle was it hurty gurty? I love their music especially when mixed with electric guitar and bagpipes lol.. Viking music was not nice and quiet when they returned from a victory trip. Take those instruments up and play them.. I have retrieved and dusted off one or two hobbies when the exercise deal is done too.. Comment edited on: 2/5/2012 12:37:20 AM Report Inappropriate Comment

There is no explaining ...

Friday, February 03, 2012

... why I feel like I do today.

I am feeling a little blah. Not like a cold or flu is coming on. So that's not it.

I am not in pain from my recovery, so it's not that I am rushing things.

When I went to fix dinner, I turned to She(WMBO) and asked her if last night's soup would be ok. I didn't feel like cooking and when I looked at the bowl of soup, I didn't feel like eating.

So I am keeping tonight's post short and heading for dreamland early tonight.

I just know I will feel better tomorrow.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHY1JESS 2/5/2012 7:56AM

Hope you're back to business today! Sometimes the Blah days help us appreciate the YAY! days even more. :-) Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBBYFROMMT 2/4/2012 8:17PM

I'm sorry you had a blah day yesterday. I hope today was better for you! Report Inappropriate Comment

FUNFROG79 2/4/2012 2:24PM

I've had those days too, hang in there! Report Inappropriate Comment

BLUE42DOWN 2/4/2012 1:14AM

Yep, had those kinds of evenings / mornings / days. Most people never get to know about them, because I tend to hide away until I'm more cheery. Here's to a restful night's sleep and a bright morning. Report Inappropriate Comment

BLACKJEN82 2/3/2012 11:33PM

Tomorrow will be great! I do know what you mean about feeling blah :) And rest always helps me!! Report Inappropriate Comment

HONBAD 2/3/2012 10:08PM

Sorry you weren't feeling 100% - I had a 30 minute stretch last night where the same thing happened. Just didn't feel right. I hope you feel better tomorrow. Report Inappropriate Comment

MARVEEME 2/3/2012 9:17PM

Rest is truly the ultimate medicine. May you awake refreshed, renewed, and feeling AWESOME, Amen! Report Inappropriate Comment

MAGGIE101857 2/3/2012 9:17PM

Hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you! Report Inappropriate Comment