I hate doing this

Saturday, October 01, 2011

I am so late because I just got home from my 40 year reunion and I have a long streak of posting blocks and I want to keep ity going. So I amp osting this little short thing with a promise for abetter one tomorrow.

I logged in just to do this!

Heck, I may just do a bettor one in 5 minutes!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MI-ELLKAYBEE 10/3/2011 3:02AM

How was the reunion? Great, I hope! Report Inappropriate Comment

DWROBERGE 10/2/2011 12:56AM

Keep focused for success. You can do it. Go for it. Report Inappropriate Comment

REDSHOES2011 10/2/2011 12:04AM

I hope the reunion went well.. 5 minutes is better than nothing.. Report Inappropriate Comment

Only the good die young

Friday, September 30, 2011

My youngest son has been home from school all week. He has been devastated by the death of one of his best friends in a motorcycle accident.

That is of course how he sees it. An accident.

Here's what happened: Connor was driving a motorcycle late last Thursday when he was pulled over. Connor did not have a motorcycle license. The bike was not registered and had a photocopy of a plate on it. He saw fit to run from the police. He raced away at over 100 miles per hour and missed a curve, hitting a guard rail. Sinc epolice do not engage in high speed chases these days, the crash was not witnessed by the police.

Connor was not found until after dawn the following morning.

Here's how I viewed this tragedy: Connor crashed an illegal motorcyle while driving ot illegally , having commited a felony to avoid a trfic ticket, an expensive traffic ticket, bit a traffic ticket nonetheless.

Mike, his brother, and his mother were all going to the funeral today. I had no such plans. I felt like everyone thought I was a heel for feeling like I did, and no one pressured me to go.

But I got to thinking about it. His parents and family were not at fault for his life-wasting stupidity. They needed to see a show of support. Afterall the funeral is not for the dead, but for the living.

The minister gave a tremendous sermon. He did not sugar coat the circumstances of Connor's self destructive behavior. He even validated my anger at his stupidity. He said that it was normal for us to feel that way.

As it turned out, I didn't go to the funeral for Connor, or his family, or my family. I went to the funeral for me. I was able to forgive Connor for wasting his life to avoid a ticket.

I was able to forgive myself for being so angry at someone who had just died tragically.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDSHOES2011 10/2/2011 12:10AM

Kids do dumb crap and sometimes it is just the luck of the draw.. The mother and brother still needed support- they know their family member did something stupid- we can't define them always dumb for kids impulsive actions.. Report Inappropriate Comment

MRE1956 10/1/2011 6:01AM

It's a good thing that the circumstances were not sugarcoated - would that more situations be dealt with like that......hopefully this will be a good takeaway "lesson learned"...... Report Inappropriate Comment

KENTUCKYWOMAN 10/1/2011 4:32AM

Tim, I am so glad you went. Also so sorry for the loss of a young life, but glad innocent by standers were involved. (((((((((((((((Hugs))) )))))))))))))) Joan Report Inappropriate Comment

LITTLEKIM4 9/30/2011 11:04PM

I totally understand your feelings. It seems that when someone dies or is hurt in an "accident" that is brought on by their own actions or decisions, no one can ever just admit that. Though one time I admit I was to the funeral of a girl who died from driving drunk, and her family had specifically requested that the minister not sugarcoat it, not say "it was her time," etc., because they felt it was not her time, not God's wish, etc. It was her own foolish decision to drive drunk. Report Inappropriate Comment

Mychal Judge: A Hero and Martyr

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Father Mychal's Prayer:

Lord, take me where You want me to go;
Let me meet who You want me to meet;
Tell me what You want me to say
And, Lord, keep me out of Your way.



My son, Mike, is a student at Alvernia University, as small Franciscan school in Reading Pennsylvania. Franciscan means that they are associated with the same religious order founded by St Francis of Assisi. If you are a reader of my blog, you know I consider Francis, born Giovanni Francesco di Bernardone in 1181, to be a personal favorite of mine. If I had no religious leanings, I would still be fascinated by his life.

Father Mychal Judge was also a Franciscan. They have a hall at Alvernia dedicated to him. Father Mike was also an heroic figure. In New York, Father Mike was also well known for ministering to the homeless, the hungry, recovering alcoholics (he was a recovering alcoholic himself), people with AIDS, the sick, injured, and grieving, immigrants, gays and lesbians (he was gay, but celibate) and those alienated by the Church (he disagreed with the Church regarding homosexuality) and society.

He once gave the winter coat off his back to a homeless woman in the street, later saying, "She needed it more than me." When he anointed a man who was dying of AIDS, the man asked him, "Do you think God hates me?" Father Judge just picked him up, kissed him, and silently rocked him in his arms.

Father Mike did something that Francis said we should do: "Preach the gospel at all times. When necessary, use words."

Fr. Mike was appointed the chaplain of the Fire Department of New York (FDNY) 1992. He would be found with the firefighters at all hours offering encouragement and support and counseling. He loved the fire department and they loved him.

On 11 September 2001, Father Mike was with the FDNY he loved so much on that terrible day. Father Mike administered the Last Rites to some lying on the streets, then entered the lobby of the World Trade Center North Tower, where an emergency command post was organized. There he continued offering aid and prayers for the rescuers, the injured and dead.

When the South Tower collapsed at 9:59 am, debris went flying through the North Tower lobby, killing many inside, including Fr Mike. At the moment he was struck in the head and killed, he was repeatedly praying aloud, "Jesus, please end this right now! God, please end this!", according to Fr Mike's biographer and New York Daily News columnist Michael Daly.

Mychal Judge was designated as "Victim 0001," recognized as the first official victim of the September 11, 2001 attacks. Other victims perished before him including air crew, passengers, and occupants of the towers, but Judge was the first certified fatality because his was the first body to be recovered and taken to the coroner.



His body was found by a Police Lieutenant who with the help of two firefighters and two civilians, lifted his body from the rubble and were photographed carrying him to St Peter's Church, which is about a block from the towers and there laid on the altar. It became one of the most famous images related to 9/11. The Philadelphia Weekly reports the photograph is considered an American Pietà.

Father Mychal Judge lived what he believed. He is a hero in my book.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BONOLICIOUS2 9/30/2011 8:15AM

Wow - this brought tears to my eyes and reminded me to count my blessings this morning. I am not a religious person by any means but I do subscribe to the idea of being good to yourself and spreading good to the world around you. Father Mychal is a hero to remember and emulate, thank you for sharing! Report Inappropriate Comment

MTULLY 9/29/2011 11:35PM

I remember reading about him. Good of you to help keep his memory alive. He is truly a hero. Report Inappropriate Comment

May I make a clarification? Please?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

A couple of days ago I posted about my upcoming 40 Year High School reunion. I wrote about how at our 10 year reunion, I met up with my old girlfriend Teresa and I recounted how she'd already been divorced twice and was working on D3 already. How she was adding a room on the trailer to accommodate her five kids (!) and how my dear wife laughed all the way home.

A reader, Patycake7 gently scolded me: "I THINK YOU'LL BE SURPRISED NOT ONLY W/THE METAMORPHASIS INTO YOUR PARENTS, BUT HOW MANY OF THOSE "PARENTS" HAVE HAD KNEE AND HIP REPLACEMENTS, AND HOW MANY WALKERS AND CANES ARE IN THE ROOM. TRY TO BE GENTLE AND SYMPATHETIC!LOL NOT EVERYONE CAN RUN A MARATHON AT YOUR AGE. POOR TERESA; AS MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAID, "MORE TO BE PITIED THAN SCORNED."

I actually have seen pictures of some of my classmates and while I don't think I will see too many walkers and hip replacements yet, at age 58, I won't be surprised if I see one or two. As for running the marathon, I know there will be a few fellow runners there, but most are in the exact same boat I found myself rowing four years ago ... headed for a heart attack or stroke because of horrible health habits. I promise to not lecture.

Regarding poor Teresa. I must admit a certain amount of schadenfreude at the fact that she very unceremoniously tossed me over and yet I wound up in a stable long lasting marriage. Further, She(WMBO) was laughing, not at Teresa's predicament of living in a trailer with 5 children, but she was laughing all the way home at the picture of me being the one adding a room to it. (I have since finished two basements, restored an old home, added a room to that home, and built two roofed areas outside my house.)

As for us becoming our parents, well, it happens to all of us. I have become my father, for better or worse. When I was a young man, Dad told me that if I ever got serious with a girl, I should get to know her mother, because that who I would be married to in 20 years. So I got to know Jane and I loved her a lot and I miss her now a lot. Unfortunately, I wound up 30 years later married to my Father-in-law. She(WMBO) became the wrong parent!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TXGRANDMOM 9/29/2011 9:37AM

I've never been to my high school reunions! Don't care to really! But I do give the same advice to dd boyfriends! Meet the Mom. Same goes for the sons! I didn't like being told I talk like my Mom -- but I guess I could have worse traits. Enjoy your day! Report Inappropriate Comment

CONNIECOOLCHICK 9/29/2011 6:27AM

Patty is right, "be gentle". HOWEVER, I understand exactly where you're coming from. It hurts to be hurt and it feels SO good to rise above and move beyond. We need to remember that this is always possible in the midst of our hurt and disappointment (just like the Baltimore Orioles did last night .) connie This is Birdland! Baltimore Orioles Fans Comment edited on: 9/29/2011 6:29:59 AM Report Inappropriate Comment

REDSHOES2011 9/28/2011 11:48PM

Keep doing your thing Timothy.. Comment edited on: 9/28/2011 11:50:55 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

An interesting prespective on Customers and Consumers

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I find this to be a clever message.


Original site: failbook.failblog.org/2011/09/26/fun
ny-facebook-fails-oinkonomics/

It also applies to SparkPeople. I am not saying anything bad about SparkPeople, I'm just saying that we should remember to use this site with our eyes open. Have you ever noticed the little line under the ads?

SparkPeople advertisers help keep the site free! www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivat
ion_articles.asp?id=1454

I have noticed some ads that are targetted to me: my locale, my age group, my gender, my running, etc. I know that I provided that information when I signed up and that's how the advertisers know

Some of the comments on the original site:
RS -- This comic is cleverly worded, but it’s hardly a Facebook-specific observation. The same is true for any website, tv channel, &c. that doesn’t charge money, and even a lot that do.

Steve -- Not quite correct. If you USE IT and don’t pay for it, you’re the product. If you DON’T use it and DON”t pay for it, you’re just an amused bystander.

If you have information you want protected, protect it! My wife does not wish to have heer name "out there." So I always refer to her as She(Who Must Be Obeyed). I abbreviate it as She(WMBO).

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REVSERENA 9/28/2011 11:39PM

My dad taught advertising design for years, but passed away before the internet revolution revolutionized ads. He always said that the first rule of advertising is "create the need." Since my profession is as a spiritual leader, I often think that he and I were trying to do exactly the opposite things in our professional life! I don't worry so much about the marketing of stuff in this targeted way, but I am deeply worried about the marketing of ideas this way. Political ads and media outlets are targeted in just as pinpointed a manner, and I worry that politicians and "the news" have a whole new way to tell us just what we want to hear without bothering to give us all the facts. No wonder our society is becoming so polarized! Report Inappropriate Comment

CONNIECOOLCHICK 9/28/2011 2:03PM

I like your blog, and, along with ARLENEEAH and KATHYOV, I agree with everything you said. My son used to work for an advertising agency and told us lots of stories. The one that sticks with me the most is how long it actually takes to film a 30 second TV commercial Welcome to "This is Birdland! Baltimore Orioles Fan" connie Report Inappropriate Comment

KATHYOV 9/28/2011 5:57AM

I find advertising fascinating. I think that the methods they use are ingenuous. And, no, I don't work in advertising. I do enjoy studying it and enjoyed teaching it to my children who are now adults and savvy shoppers. Even things that I searched the internet for outside of SparkPeople are advertised while I'm visiting SparkPeople. For example, I lost a ring recently and was searching for a picture of it to post in case someone found it. My search was interpreted as shopping and the sites that I visited are now posting ads on SparkPeople. It's those darn cookies in the browsers. But, targeted ads are better than non targeted ads. When I window shop websites, the next time I visit, they make suggestions of what I might like to see. Ingenuous! I don't let it bug me. It's technology. And, yes, there is nothing free. You do know that all of your blogs are public, yes? Take this blog that you posted and pick a phrase, word for word. Copy and paste it to the Google search enclosing the phrase in quotes. It will make a direct hit on your SparkPeople blog. Try this phrase from your blog (or any phrase): " targetted to me: my locale, my age group, my gender, my running, etc" Report Inappropriate Comment

ARLENE_MOVES 9/27/2011 8:09PM

True -- ever since I mentioned water jogging (and maybe clicked on an ad), I've been getting ads for aqua stuff. Nothings private. My dh hates being called and treated like a consumer -- but customer has gone away. Bye Bye... Good blog! Report Inappropriate Comment