Wednesday, March 09, 2011
I am back from the neuro's app. I had to travel and stay overnight in a motel to see the worthless bastard. He makes me feel like giving up on life. Don't worry I am not going to. However I don't think they realize how powerful there words are.
He makes thousands of dollars off of me from the medication he prescribes. They give huge kickbacks for ordering copaxone and other meds. Copaxone costs $30,000 a year at my last look at the price.
He won't treat my pain. He doesn't want to change my medications to keep me comfortable. I told him I can't live with out of control pain that goes on for days at a time. It gets so severe that I can't sleep for days on end. The stupid white coat will not treat the pain. I told him what helps and have told him several time what is effective and he won't prescribe what I need. I wish he could walk in my shoes and feel how I feel and live like I live for the rest of his life so he could have some compassion.
When I worked in Oncology as a nurse I saw doctors who wouldn't properly treat people who were dying with pain meds. They would suffer until they passed. The horrible docs. in my mind were causing the patients to be tortured when it is treatable. If only they could come down with the disease that they refuse to treat adequately they and have a doc who wouldn't give them what they need to be comfortable.
I am not drug seeking. I was asking for his help. I told him the regular meds cause such severe lethargy, weakness, dizziness, and other severe side effects that I can olnly take them when I am going out of my head. They are supposed to be taken daily. I told him I want to take something when I need it and not daily multiple times a day so I feel like I am in a drugged stupor unable to function.
Why won't he prescribe something PRN instead of the other crap that makes me feel sicker.
He won't change my meds that are supposed to decrease the flares. He won't give me meds in a timely manner when I need refills.
So its time to go Neuro shopping. Anyone know of a good neuro in Northern California? I am willing to travel down as far as Sacramento, Chico, Redding, Ca.
I also don't understand why the doc. can't see that I am trying to adjust my diet, believe in a natural approach as possible, and exercise. That if one does those things they don't want to fill there bodies with more toxins than necessary to resolve the pain.
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
Monday, March 07, 2011
Yesterday's workout was a very long walk that was about 3.5 miles long. It was really beautiful walking as I enjoyed the misty rain falling on the new spring grass. I pushed myself to my maximum level of endurance, trying to rebuild my strength that I lost during the last flare. It's like starting over as weak as a baby, but never giving up. Continuing on each day giving it my all.
My right foot is dragging more often when I walk, causing me to trip and stumble. It's due to the muscle weakness from the MS. I pray it improves as I don't have the funds to afford another bioness L300 for my right leg. I use one on the left side and it helps me to lift my foot enough to clear the ground so I can take steps without tripping. It makes the difference between me walking .25 mile without it to walking 2-3 miles with it. Its a blessing to have. Unfortunately its one of the things that insurance won't cover to help me walk.
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. ~
The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination. ~ Tommy Lasorda
This part of my blog was copied from a site. I though it valuable to those who have MS. It is something that I have been doing myself, trying to push myself on a daily basis even though its very hard to move the muscles.
* Intense Physical Therapy or doing certain types of Exercises - if done consistently over a more extended period of time doing exercises or intense physical therapy can actually help us to regain the ability for our nerves and our bodies to function again. Since the bran is 90% nerves and the brain can be retrained by exercising to redevelop neural pathways through out the brain, this idea can be extended to the nerves throughout the rest of the body.
Even if we have ms nerve damage, intense physical therapy can help to regenerate nerves by exercising the muscles connected to the nerves that need help!
This means that even in the more severe cases of Multiple Sclerosis, where there is much significant nerve damage, intense physical therapy can help to regenerate nerves and help our bodies to function again! I consider exercise to be my physical therapy for me. Its my way of retraining my nerves that are damaged by the immune system to function. However this portion of the blog below sums it up nicely. Even if its hard, or extremely hard as it is for me KEEP MOVING !!!
"The one thing, that also needs to be known about the idea of doing intense physical therapy for those of us with Multiple Sclerosis, is that yes...there is a price to pay for going through with doing the intense physical therapy. Because MS fatigue is also known to be a big problem with the majority of the cases of Multiple Sclerosis that are diagnosed in different countries around the world each year, doing intense physical therapy can be physically exhausting. This is the price that we need to pay or go through for those of us with Multiple Sclerosis to find ways to function again, but in my opinion, this is well worth the sacrifice for us to be able to function again." The site I copied this information is from. http://tamingmultiplesclerosis.com/mssympt
I am kind of feeling very desperate for for some kind of healing or reduction in flares. They are happening all too often. So, I am going to go back on a raw food journey. Its something I have done before when my symptoms were not bad like they are now. I plan on trying as long as I can to stick to eating raw fruits and vegetables. Maybe I might even loose some weight in the process. The last time I lost 30 pounds.
Please say your prayers that the lifestyle change will work for me. I honestly don't know what else to do. The medication is not working. I also plan on looking in to getting a Kragan water system and taking some different supplements in hopes that it will help.
Last night I found out that the vaccine I took that triggered the MS, also causes other autoimmune diseases. The hepatitis A and B vaccine they are now finding out in other countries is causing a reaction in the muscles at the site were it was injected. It causes an influx of the immune system to attack yourself leading to diseases like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue symptom. They can now biopsy in other countries the muscle to find the damage and link it to the vaccine. They say its causing multiple other diseases. Hopefully I can stop the damage by changing the diet.
Ben Franklin said, "Lost time is never found again."
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Creating the body of MY DREAMS says the advertisement of the workout I did today !!!
YIPPEE !!! It must mean I am making progress. Lets hear it for BOOTY BARRE !!!
This is the workout I did today. Well, I lasted through 22 wonderful minutes of it. My muscles and nerves are still recovering from the flare, so that was as long as I lasted today. The section I did was barre focused and cardio. It totally wore me out. The section that did me in was the mountain climbers. Her workout was filled with unique moves that worked all parts of my body. On another occasion I completed the warm-up which was more than a warm-up and the arm section. One day I hope to be strong enough to complete the whole hour long workout.
Tracey Mallett, the instructors says you will feel 10 years younger. This is from her website. "Do You Crave a Firmer Booty? (YES, I need a firmer booty)
Do You Want To De-Flab Your Abs? (TOTALLY WHO WOULDN'T)
Do You Wish For Minimal Cellulite and Less Jiggle All Over? (OH YES !!! )
Lucky For You You’ve Finally Found The Perfect Workout! (THANK HEAVENS, I HAVE BEEN RESCUED !!!) (My BOOTY is Very ExCiTed !!!) (I feel the glutes tightening in anticipation.)
The Booty Barre™ workout is a uniquely fun, high-energy group fitness experience, which fuses exercise techniques from the worlds of Pilates, Dance, Cardio-Sculpting Moves and Yoga. You’ll firm, tighten and tone your whole body without adding bulk, and you’ll burn mega-calories along the way." ( I do have to say I needed more energy than I had to complete the DVD) It's a good workout though. I just need to do some more healing.
Today was very beautiful here in Northern California !!! The blue skies were shining down on my husband and I as we walked today. I was rather excited that today I got out of the car all by myself. The last month I have been so weak that I have needed help. Then I was able to walk for spurts off and on all by myself without having to hold on to my husband. It was just me and my nordic pole with him by my side in case I stumbled or needed assistance. As we walked there were more geese and ducks on the ponds. They are pulling there feathers out again, maybe its nesting time. The squirrel in the tree was gathering twigs as we walked by. He or she was making a cone-shaped nest for its up and coming family in the large oak tree. I never knew they made nests in the tree. It was scurrying up and down the tree with the twigs, tucking them in the nest it was making. It looked like an extra large birds nest.
Our walk lasted 2.5 miles !!! I did much better walking today than yesterday.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Beets, carrots, greens, granny smith, ginger, ripe red bell peppers thrown together in the juicer, YUM !!! Quart jars are filled up with freshly juiced Plant Blood. It's so refreshing and gives me a bit of energy as I drink the vivid red colored juice. You have got to try it. Its been a goal to get back in to juicing again and to consume high quality nutrients into my body.
My workouts continue. Yesterday morning I did Tracy Anderson's post pregnancy workout DVD. It's shot in a beautiful setting where it looks like the room was built out of sheets of plywood and covered with a thick layer of varnish. Its peaceful looking, the unstained wooden floors and Tracy exercising with classical music playing, very few words are spoken, and beautiful scenery outside the windows.
My husband and I completed 1.9 mile walk around the ponds. It was cold as a storm was rolling in, blowing cold air off the snow covered mountains. The walk was challenging since the MS symptoms are still acting up. It didn't matter, I completed the walk and got in my daily exercise !!! My husband had to lift my legs in to the car as I was totally spent from the walk. My legs wouldn't move any further. As my body relaxed in the car seat I realized by the time I got home I wouldn't be able to get out of the car without help. My trunk muscles were exhausted also. Thank goodness for a loving husband that encourages me to walk and comes along with me. It feels good though to continue up the routine no matter how challenging it is.
The Zen Garden continues to take shape. Several times a week I take time to go work on planting perennials out in the garden and beyond the fence in the greenbelt that lays beyond. Today I took some Iris and planted them down the hillside that slopes down towards the year-around-creek. Next spring there will be a riot of white and purple iris blooming. I wish I had more varieties of colors to add in, its just the bulbs are so expensive. So I keep dividing what I have, spreading the simple colors over the landscape.
My body is unique and I have to keep coming to the realization that I must not compare my abilities to everyone Else's. I keep wanting to participate in challenges and find them too tough for me to continue at the same pace as everyone else. I MUST LISTEN TO MY BODY. Otherwise I get sick. So from now on I won't listen to the recommended schedule of the people who make the DVDs to do the workout so many times per week. I will do what my body says to do. It doesn't work for me to over do the workouts. When I take a rest when my body needs it the next day I usually am stronger. I can complete the workout with more reps., better muscle control, and strength.
Tracy Anderson has produced the set of DVDs called Metamorphis which I am really enjoying. However, I noticed just doing those workouts I need more variety in order to keep my muscles working with the MS. I feel like I need to rotate other DVDS in to keep up my strength and coordination. Her workouts do a great job with working the trouble spots on all 4's. I think this kind of training is valuable and will help with rebuilding the neuropathways. However I feel like the barre workouts need to be added back in. It feels like since I have reduced the number of barre workouts that my strength in my muscles that I use for walking have lost strength.
Much of Tracy Anderson's exercises are in various position similar to the above picture, just in many different angles and for about 40 reps per exercise. Each leg ends up receiving about 200 reps. per side, per workout. It targets the hips, thighs, and glutes in that section of the DVD. It's creates a totally fatigued muscles and lots of DOMS.
Today I will be receiving a shipment of a medication that hopefully will get me back to functioning normally. I pray it works. It feels like my strength has not returned back to normal after the flare. It took the pharmacy and insurance company almost a month to get the medication authorized, so its been a while since the flare. I don't know if it will improve the symptoms since its been so long or if the damage is permanent and I have sunk to a new low. I pray for a positve outcome.
1. Kettlebell Swings 3 times a week.
2. Walking 5 or more days a week.
3. Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis DVDs 2 times or more a week.
4. Barre Workouts 3 times a week or more.
5. Make Juice and drink it.
6. Listen to my Body More.
7. Get back in to writing down what I eat and calculating the calorie and nutritional intake.
8. Wear my gowearfit more often to keep track of my steps and activity levels.
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