Sunday, July 20, 2014
Thank you to everyone who sent me a SparkMail or posted a comment on my Spark page to check in on me. Please know that I really, truly appreciate it, and I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner.
For the past few months, work has been a stressful mix of dealing with new difficult personalities, sudden project roadmap changes, personnel changes, last-minute presentation demands, less sleep, more all-nighters, business trips, my workaholic tendencies, the overwhelming feeling that I can't learn fast enough to keep up, this is - without a doubt - the most difficult year of my career.
I'm constantly panicking or upset or angry about something. I'm mainly disappointed in myself for not handling difficult situations well. Always thinking "I should have said X" or "I should have known Y" and "Now everyone must think I'm a loser" or "I'm sure they'd all prefer it if I just quit".
I put healthy habits on the back-burner in order to cope with everything going on, and gained back 15 lbs. Seeing 180.4 lbs on the scale today sucked. Physically, my tummy is popping out again, my face is chubbier, my legs are flabbier and my back pains are resurfacing.
I delivered a Phase 1 of my deliverables last week, presented them to some managers (who were happy about the designs) and then took a few days off. I feel rested today. I've started weaning myself off my comfort foods and feel hopeful about resuming exercise next week.
I've borrowed some books about dealing with difficult situations in the work place, and I'll start reading a few chapters in the morning. Hopefully I'll find some useful guidelines for moving forward.
That's where I am today. I hope my future posts will be a bit more upbeat.
I hope you have been well.
Thursday, May 01, 2014
Thank you SparkFriends. Your encouragement really helped. I finally went back to the gym today and did a 35-minute walk on the treadmill. When I'm ready, I'll add strength training back into the mix.
I'm going to take it one day at a time, until it becomes a habit again. I can do this.
Thanks again, guys. I really appreciate your help.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
My training sessions at the gym came to an end 3 weeks ago. When I began training, it was my goal to continue exercising on my own when this day came, but instead I find that I'm struggling with it.
It was much easier having someone push me, but the time has come for me to push myself. I need to revert to those good habits that got me this far, like batch cooking on weekends and exercising from monday to friday. I know I have it in me, but it's challenging right now.
I recognize that it's time for me to ask for help.
If you have words of advice or encouragement, or if you've gone through a similar phase, please share.
Saturday, March 08, 2014
Usually, my trainer demonstrates each exercise, steps back and counts the reps as I do them. Today, he did all the exercises with me. It was fun working out side by side, him with 60-lbs barbells and me with a 40-pounder. It felt pretty cool. Maybe this is how synchronized swimmers or choreographed dancers feel
(1) Squats, deadlifts, hamstring curls & lunges : 3 sets, 15-25 reps.
(2) Dips, Push-ups & Pull-ups: 1 set of each, 15 reps.
(3) "Mountain climbers", chest flyes & back flyes using TRX straps for the first time. I did easier versions of whatever he did. Starting small, building up !
After the pull-ups, we collapsed on the gym floor - it really took the stuffing out of us ! Then we had a giggle-fit commenting on how ridiculous we must look to everyone else, watching us just lie there.
During the session, he had this idea that we should both hit to 155 lbs in April. He wants to add muscle to his very lean 150-lbs frame, while I shed 10lbs of fat from mine. If we both happen to hit that target together, he wants to take a picture of us and post it on Facebook - he NEVER posts anything on Facebook because he's very private, but this would be a big deal to him.
While it would be nice to hit that number next month, whatever I weigh in April is alright by me, 155 or not. 2 lbs per week is within the Spark guidelines, but my weight loss HAS slowed over time, which is normal. Some weeks the scale goes up. Some weeks I lose nothing at all. Which makes me extra happy on those days when the scale goes down :)
SparkPeople has taught me to be patient, especially during plateaus and scale fluctuations. I no longer feel pressure to hit weight loss goals by a certain date. Experience has taught me that making good choices AND getting back up after slipping really DOES make the scale go down eventually.
So, Onward, one day at a time
Good night, Sparklers !
Get An Email Alert Each Time TIGER_LILY_613 Posts