Thursday, April 02, 2009
As I sit here on a rainy Thursday morning I am faced with many thoughts as I contemplate my day ahead. Sometimes I wonder why it's taken me over half of my life to seriously work towards something so important to me as achieving and maintaining a healthy weight. What has taken me so long? Why have I let so much get in my way?
The hours, months and years I have spent wanting to be someone else. Someone thinner, stronger, and someone who possessed enough self love to achieve this what seemed to be, a relatively easy goal.
Yesterday I spent the morning with my sister who is my best friend.
She has been diagnosed with a terminal illness that she has been fighting for the past year. It is likely I will lose her in the not so distant future as will her 2 daughters and her husband of 38 years.
As I talked with her about her fears of dying and her end stage illness, I realized how much precious time I've wasted in my own life. None of us know when our time will come but when it does will we be ready? Will we feel like we've lived our life to it's fullest? Have we loved ourselves and others as they deserved to be loved? Have we achieved all we wanted, needed, and desired in life? My burden right now is losing weight. Hers is losing her life. She has no power over her circumstances, but I do.
I dedicate my long overdue weight loss efforts to her, in her honor. My dear sister.