Friday, April 12, 2013
A few weeks ago, I saw the scale go up, up, up to 175.sometihng. At that point, I decided I had a choice. I can succumb to myself and let myself gain all the weight back or I could take control. I could exercise but I knew my eating was the true problem. It has gotten out of control and I needed to be accountable again. Like I did five years ago. I started tracking my food intake again.
Slowly, the scale started to go down, down, down. Not only am I down to 169.0 my clothes are starting to get looser as well. It was great to see and feel my hard work of eating right was working. Nearly every day I was over calories by 100 or 200. Nothing to get upset about. Today it was 400 calories. I am not going to get upset about that either.
It was the pizza one of the executives brought to thank the staff, myself including, for coming into work despite the nasty weather. It snowed 5-7 inches and driving conditions were far from pretty. Anyhow, I had two pieces of pizza before my workout. I had a headache and figured it was because of stress and perhaps not enough food. I had a piece and it went away instantly.
I take full responsibility of going over my calories but I simply do not understand how a place like the local YMCA brings pizza as a thank you or cupcakes for their birthday parties. Yet... in our employee handbook it says we are to bring in healthy food to eat for our own personal breaks. I find these hypocritical choices disappointing. Lead by example, perhaps?
Nonetheless, I am super proud that I have lost five pounds and feel like I am finding my spark again. Yesterday and today I did 40 minutes on the elliptical. Slow and easy I am getting back into my healthy lifestyle. I have seen 169 before and I really hope I can stay in the 160s this time and can see 165 in May. Wouldn't that be awesome?!!!
On a side note, I live in the midwest which got hit by a SNOW storm. Here are a couple photos, courtesy of the local news media.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
It's funny how this journey never stops. I know, I know, all maintainers say that. This time I am learning this lesson. I maintained my weight loss for about a year and half and than gained 15 pounds back. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of defeat. In fact, I thought this was it, the end of my weight loss. I was going to gain ALL 100 pounds back. Than, I woke up. I woke up and realized I can either accept defeat or do something about it. I have never been one to sit around so I am trying to do something about it.
No, it's not easy. I am going through the struggles of weight loss all over again. You would think that would be overwhelming and frustrating. You would think I would be upset. But, I actually find it comforting. Like an old friend. Just because my fitness has gone on a vacation doesn't mean I have to. Like many other vacations, it's temporary and I make that choice.
This week I have been trying to get my workouts (swimming laps) in the morning. I noticed I do best if I can get them in first thing before work. I am even taking part in the Sparkpeople's Rise and Shine April Challenge. If I can get them in the morning, it helps me make healthy choices all day. I have also noticed I need food accountability so I have been tracking food. I haven't done this in a LONG time. It went well until today when I wanted Perkins and I didn't want to go healthy. Again, I had a choice. I could not track or be accountable to myself and track. It's not pretty but it's in my tracker.
In addition to that, I signed up for two 5Ks. One on April 20th and one in June. It's like my journey is starting over. But, again, remember it's not ending. I have my eye on a half marathon in the fall. Eventually, I want to get running consistently and to do it four times a week. Than after that, I want to aim for running 4-6 miles easily consistently. Maybe I don't need grand plans like a marathon but a small ones, like mileage, that I can work towards.
During this time of my journey, I am trying to remember.
The scale does not know all. The scale can make me lose motivation. (Like today.) I did not gain weight overnight and cannot lose weight overnight. It takes times.
Here's a takeaway for everyone.
This takes time. Enjoy the journey and embrace it!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
In the last week, I have been trying to do some soul searching. Since graduating with a Bachelor of Science, my life seems to have lost all spark. I had so much promise. I was going places. In the last couple months, I feel like I have gone no where. I am still in the same dead end job I have been working for the past three years. Don't get me wrong, I have really enjoyed working as a Wellness Coach and teaching people how to use the Nautilus equipment in our facility. But, I am needing a change. For many reasons.
Today, after working here for two and a half years, I gave my resignation. When I came in, I was still debating whether this was the right decision for me. I have no second job lined up. I am choosing to decrease my hours. Keeping that in mind, I realized my unhappiness was rooted in my dread to come to work which was also affecting other parts of my life. Ironically, I handed my resignation to my supervisor at 3:00 pm as I got a call for a job interview as a PCA at 3:10. I am taking it as a sign that it was a good decision for me.
I am still soul searching to see what I want to do with my life and how I am going to get my spark back into my fitness...
Thursday, February 28, 2013
On July 21, 2011, I stepped on the scale and saw the magical numbers 1-6-0. Since than, I have worked to maintain the scale at 160. Like many other people, I thought losing weight was the hard part and maintenance was a cake walk.
I am sure you have seen this poster before...
It is so true.
Being overweight and unhappy with yourself is hard. For me, I found when I was at my highest weight, my self esteem was the lowest. With low self esteem you doubt every move you make and never trust your own intuition.
Losing weight is hard. You have to keep pushing even if you are putting in 100%. And, if you stumble a little back, you have to get back on the horse and keep trying even if your friends and family are pushing you toward your old habits.
Maintaining is hard. You have to want your lifestyle even if there are no rewards. The rewards in my weight loss journey were getting compliments about my progress. That felt good. Now it's old news that I have lost 100 pounds. And, sometimes it like people have forgotten who I was in the beginning. I am still that person. I still love cupcakes and cookies. In this stage, I am finding it hard to continue to say no to all the things I have denied myself during the three years of losing weight loss.
I haven't weighed myself in almost a week. Last time, I was 172.2. I really do not think I want to see a number higher than that. I really need to turn this around and I want to do it before my anniversary date... July 21st. Ironically, I have 21 weeks to do it. It'd be awesome if I could be close to 150. Honestly, I am not sure if that is possible for me as I am too scared. Actually, scratch that goal. Let's go with a different goal. A less overwhelming goal.
By July 21st, I want to get back to who I was before my internship.
I want to eat clean. I want to eat almost no junk food.
I want to work out everyday with an "off" day before rare. Not the other way around.
I want to be training for a half marathon.
I want to be proud of myself and my goals that I am working toward.
If you are losing weight, remember everyone stumbles. Even the ones in their maintenance stage. If you are in the maintenance stage, keep up the great work!
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