Sunday, April 14, 2013
Yesterday I was super excited about being 169. I had such plans to get down to 165. Than, this morning I was back at 170.4. I am so frustrated and bummed. I have been bouncing around 170 for months. I am done. A few days ago, I was excited to see 170.0. I could get to the 160s. So, I exercised the two days after and now I am back at 170.
It seems like it is either focus on food or focus on exercise. Whenever I try to do both, I seem like a failure. When I started to focus on food a few weeks back that is when I was able to kick five pounds to the curb. In fact, that seems like that is the only time I can lose weight.
Anyhow, I know this 170 is not a terrible number but I think I am more bothered what it means to me. In a sense, I had failed at maintained. I am still working on it. It's food for thought, nonetheless!
Friday, April 12, 2013
A few weeks ago, I saw the scale go up, up, up to 175.sometihng. At that point, I decided I had a choice. I can succumb to myself and let myself gain all the weight back or I could take control. I could exercise but I knew my eating was the true problem. It has gotten out of control and I needed to be accountable again. Like I did five years ago. I started tracking my food intake again.
Slowly, the scale started to go down, down, down. Not only am I down to 169.0 my clothes are starting to get looser as well. It was great to see and feel my hard work of eating right was working. Nearly every day I was over calories by 100 or 200. Nothing to get upset about. Today it was 400 calories. I am not going to get upset about that either.
It was the pizza one of the executives brought to thank the staff, myself including, for coming into work despite the nasty weather. It snowed 5-7 inches and driving conditions were far from pretty. Anyhow, I had two pieces of pizza before my workout. I had a headache and figured it was because of stress and perhaps not enough food. I had a piece and it went away instantly.
I take full responsibility of going over my calories but I simply do not understand how a place like the local YMCA brings pizza as a thank you or cupcakes for their birthday parties. Yet... in our employee handbook it says we are to bring in healthy food to eat for our own personal breaks. I find these hypocritical choices disappointing. Lead by example, perhaps?
Nonetheless, I am super proud that I have lost five pounds and feel like I am finding my spark again. Yesterday and today I did 40 minutes on the elliptical. Slow and easy I am getting back into my healthy lifestyle. I have seen 169 before and I really hope I can stay in the 160s this time and can see 165 in May. Wouldn't that be awesome?!!!
On a side note, I live in the midwest which got hit by a SNOW storm. Here are a couple photos, courtesy of the local news media.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
It's funny how this journey never stops. I know, I know, all maintainers say that. This time I am learning this lesson. I maintained my weight loss for about a year and half and than gained 15 pounds back. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of defeat. In fact, I thought this was it, the end of my weight loss. I was going to gain ALL 100 pounds back. Than, I woke up. I woke up and realized I can either accept defeat or do something about it. I have never been one to sit around so I am trying to do something about it.
No, it's not easy. I am going through the struggles of weight loss all over again. You would think that would be overwhelming and frustrating. You would think I would be upset. But, I actually find it comforting. Like an old friend. Just because my fitness has gone on a vacation doesn't mean I have to. Like many other vacations, it's temporary and I make that choice.
This week I have been trying to get my workouts (swimming laps) in the morning. I noticed I do best if I can get them in first thing before work. I am even taking part in the Sparkpeople's Rise and Shine April Challenge. If I can get them in the morning, it helps me make healthy choices all day. I have also noticed I need food accountability so I have been tracking food. I haven't done this in a LONG time. It went well until today when I wanted Perkins and I didn't want to go healthy. Again, I had a choice. I could not track or be accountable to myself and track. It's not pretty but it's in my tracker.
In addition to that, I signed up for two 5Ks. One on April 20th and one in June. It's like my journey is starting over. But, again, remember it's not ending. I have my eye on a half marathon in the fall. Eventually, I want to get running consistently and to do it four times a week. Than after that, I want to aim for running 4-6 miles easily consistently. Maybe I don't need grand plans like a marathon but a small ones, like mileage, that I can work towards.
During this time of my journey, I am trying to remember.
The scale does not know all. The scale can make me lose motivation. (Like today.) I did not gain weight overnight and cannot lose weight overnight. It takes times.
Here's a takeaway for everyone.
This takes time. Enjoy the journey and embrace it!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
In the last week, I have been trying to do some soul searching. Since graduating with a Bachelor of Science, my life seems to have lost all spark. I had so much promise. I was going places. In the last couple months, I feel like I have gone no where. I am still in the same dead end job I have been working for the past three years. Don't get me wrong, I have really enjoyed working as a Wellness Coach and teaching people how to use the Nautilus equipment in our facility. But, I am needing a change. For many reasons.
Today, after working here for two and a half years, I gave my resignation. When I came in, I was still debating whether this was the right decision for me. I have no second job lined up. I am choosing to decrease my hours. Keeping that in mind, I realized my unhappiness was rooted in my dread to come to work which was also affecting other parts of my life. Ironically, I handed my resignation to my supervisor at 3:00 pm as I got a call for a job interview as a PCA at 3:10. I am taking it as a sign that it was a good decision for me.
I am still soul searching to see what I want to do with my life and how I am going to get my spark back into my fitness...
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