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THECRAZYMANGO's Recent Blog Entries

It's your choice.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

It's funny how this journey never stops. I know, I know, all maintainers say that. This time I am learning this lesson. I maintained my weight loss for about a year and half and than gained 15 pounds back. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of defeat. In fact, I thought this was it, the end of my weight loss. I was going to gain ALL 100 pounds back. Than, I woke up. I woke up and realized I can either accept defeat or do something about it. I have never been one to sit around so I am trying to do something about it.

No, it's not easy. I am going through the struggles of weight loss all over again. You would think that would be overwhelming and frustrating. You would think I would be upset. But, I actually find it comforting. Like an old friend. Just because my fitness has gone on a vacation doesn't mean I have to. Like many other vacations, it's temporary and I make that choice.

This week I have been trying to get my workouts (swimming laps) in the morning. I noticed I do best if I can get them in first thing before work. I am even taking part in the Sparkpeople's Rise and Shine April Challenge. If I can get them in the morning, it helps me make healthy choices all day. I have also noticed I need food accountability so I have been tracking food. I haven't done this in a LONG time. It went well until today when I wanted Perkins and I didn't want to go healthy. Again, I had a choice. I could not track or be accountable to myself and track. It's not pretty but it's in my tracker.

In addition to that, I signed up for two 5Ks. One on April 20th and one in June. It's like my journey is starting over. But, again, remember it's not ending. I have my eye on a half marathon in the fall. Eventually, I want to get running consistently and to do it four times a week. Than after that, I want to aim for running 4-6 miles easily consistently. Maybe I don't need grand plans like a marathon but a small ones, like mileage, that I can work towards.

During this time of my journey, I am trying to remember.

The scale does not know all. The scale can make me lose motivation. (Like today.) I did not gain weight overnight and cannot lose weight overnight. It takes times.

Here's a takeaway for everyone.

This takes time. Enjoy the journey and embrace it! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATPLUMMER 3/30/2013 5:27PM

    Sounds like you are back in action!!

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GODDREAMDIVA1 3/30/2013 5:14PM


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1CRAZYDOG 3/30/2013 5:13PM

    It's all about changing as your journey changes . . . as your needs change. Flexibility. You have the courage to do that, are doing it, so that's the MOST important part of the journey.

You know we're all here for you, you know we've got your back and you're not alone. So, that's HUGELY important too.

HUGS, my dear, and Happy Easter to you!

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GEORGE815 3/30/2013 3:58PM

    Everyday is a new day to put in practice what you previously learned.

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Misplaced Spark

Thursday, March 21, 2013

In the last week, I have been trying to do some soul searching. Since graduating with a Bachelor of Science, my life seems to have lost all spark. I had so much promise. I was going places. In the last couple months, I feel like I have gone no where. I am still in the same dead end job I have been working for the past three years. Don't get me wrong, I have really enjoyed working as a Wellness Coach and teaching people how to use the Nautilus equipment in our facility. But, I am needing a change. For many reasons.

Today, after working here for two and a half years, I gave my resignation. When I came in, I was still debating whether this was the right decision for me. I have no second job lined up. I am choosing to decrease my hours. Keeping that in mind, I realized my unhappiness was rooted in my dread to come to work which was also affecting other parts of my life. Ironically, I handed my resignation to my supervisor at 3:00 pm as I got a call for a job interview as a PCA at 3:10. I am taking it as a sign that it was a good decision for me.

I am still soul searching to see what I want to do with my life and how I am going to get my spark back into my fitness...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EJOY-EVELYN 3/23/2013 2:35AM

    You're very brave to leave one job without another one lined up. Hope this new interview works well for both you and the company. Sending you prayerful vibes. Hug, hug -- Evelyn

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HDHAWK 3/22/2013 6:59PM

    I too, just decided on a job change for next year. Still teaching, but with a different group in a different school. I love what I do, but this year I just haven't "felt" it like I usually do. It's time for a change. Good luck on the interview! Sometimes we have to do what feels right for us.

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-POOKIE- 3/22/2013 12:16PM


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RUNNER12COM 3/22/2013 10:36AM

    You worked hard for a goal, reached it, and now may also be in a bit of "what now?!" funk. So good for you for taking action and making your happiness a priority!

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NATPLUMMER 3/22/2013 10:12AM


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SNOWFILLY 3/22/2013 7:53AM

    emoticon emoticon Just don't forget that you are emoticon !!! Transition is always hard. All you need is just a little faith. You will get through this. Hugs. Oh, and go buy a Powerball, you never know. It is really big. LOL emoticon emoticon

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SHERYLDS 3/21/2013 9:23PM

    I KNOW something good is going to happen for you....
and NOW is the time to make those changes.
So happy you got that interview.
Keep going...keep learning ... move forward....ALWAYS

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1CRAZYDOG 3/21/2013 9:20PM

    You know, you ARE going to go places with your degree. Sometimes it just takes a little time, though. I totally understand the frustration -- I would feel the same way! NOTHING about getting or keeping a job is easy now.

I am glad to hear you have an interview for a PCA position. You know, that might lead you where you're supposed to go in life. At the very least, you'll find out if it ISN'T too.

MANY HUGS to you my dear. Keep your chin up.


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GETSTRONGRRR 3/21/2013 9:06PM

    keep at it.....always lots of options out there....just stay ready!

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RAPUNZEL53 3/21/2013 8:54PM

  Good Luck!

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Choose Your Hard

Thursday, February 28, 2013

On July 21, 2011, I stepped on the scale and saw the magical numbers 1-6-0. Since than, I have worked to maintain the scale at 160. Like many other people, I thought losing weight was the hard part and maintenance was a cake walk.

I am sure you have seen this poster before...

It is so true.

Being overweight and unhappy with yourself is hard. For me, I found when I was at my highest weight, my self esteem was the lowest. With low self esteem you doubt every move you make and never trust your own intuition.

Losing weight is hard. You have to keep pushing even if you are putting in 100%. And, if you stumble a little back, you have to get back on the horse and keep trying even if your friends and family are pushing you toward your old habits.

Maintaining is hard. You have to want your lifestyle even if there are no rewards. The rewards in my weight loss journey were getting compliments about my progress. That felt good. Now it's old news that I have lost 100 pounds. And, sometimes it like people have forgotten who I was in the beginning. I am still that person. I still love cupcakes and cookies. In this stage, I am finding it hard to continue to say no to all the things I have denied myself during the three years of losing weight loss.

I haven't weighed myself in almost a week. Last time, I was 172.2. I really do not think I want to see a number higher than that. I really need to turn this around and I want to do it before my anniversary date... July 21st. Ironically, I have 21 weeks to do it. It'd be awesome if I could be close to 150. Honestly, I am not sure if that is possible for me as I am too scared. Actually, scratch that goal. Let's go with a different goal. A less overwhelming goal.

By July 21st, I want to get back to who I was before my internship.
emoticon I want to eat clean. I want to eat almost no junk food.
emoticon I want to work out everyday with an "off" day before rare. Not the other way around.
emoticon I want to be training for a half marathon.
emoticon I want to be proud of myself and my goals that I am working toward.

If you are losing weight, remember everyone stumbles. Even the ones in their maintenance stage. If you are in the maintenance stage, keep up the great work!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MPLSKEN 2/28/2013 11:06PM

    You're right, all of the choices are hard. And, yes, maintaining is a beast! I completely agree about losing the consistent rewards (the slew of compliments that come during and for a while after losing a significant amount of weight). But, it's still so worth it (losing/maintaining). We just need to rely on ourselves a little more for the compliments once they scale down externally.
emoticon emoticon

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KITT52 2/28/2013 6:39PM

    I sure agree...I have been in the maintaining mode for over 3 years...I have gained a bit back, and have taken it off again...seems me and 10 pounds are on a roller coaster...I am on the down swing again....

just.. emoticon can do it, but it is hard work....

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GETFIT2LIVE 2/28/2013 6:35PM

    Maintenance is definitely hard; that's why so few people are able to maintain their weight loss for the long term. Don't let that scare you, though, let it motivate you to keep going. You can do this. Take it one step at a time and just keep pushing forward.

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RUNNER12COM 2/28/2013 6:27PM

    Even in your struggles... no, ESPECIALLY in your struggles, you are so motivating to the rest of us.

You got this.

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TYKXBOY 2/28/2013 2:58PM

    Absolutely agree 100%. Maintenance seemed like the easy part, but it's just as hard as losing the weight. Just with different hard things. Great blog!

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1CRAZYDOG 2/28/2013 2:29PM

    You go, Savannah! You can do this. You are sooooooo right when you say you have to choose your hard. NOT easy . . . it IS hard! But the deal is, together we can do it. Right!?!

HUGS Hold that head up high. You're on the path, sweetie. THAT'S the way to do it.

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-POOKIE- 2/28/2013 1:42PM

    Excellent blog.

I agree, the cheering on was a help, albeit superficial, heck, vain even... but who cared when it helped?

I need to knuckle down as well. We got this!

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FCARMICH 2/28/2013 12:59PM

  be good to you

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NATPLUMMER 2/28/2013 12:58PM

    You've got this!!! emoticon

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SOXYINMO 2/28/2013 12:57PM

    Big hugs! Yep. Maintenance is a lot trickier than I ever imagined! But you can do this! You've set some good, solid, OBTAINABLE goals, and you know that's half the battle!

Be good to yourself, you are worth every minute you spend on you!

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FIT_DAISHA 2/28/2013 12:53PM

    You can do it! emoticon

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CATSPANK 2/28/2013 12:47PM

    emoticon You can do it! 100 pounds gone, wow, I can only imagine the joy. Well done!

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RENATARUNS 2/28/2013 12:46PM

    Those first two, with the addition of keeping portion sizes reasonable, are my only goals. They're the only ones I want. It's when other ones start clogging my head that I start getting scared. You can do it.

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INSPIRATIONAL3 2/28/2013 12:42PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Scratch that... I need a challenge.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Today, I was giving plasma when I started up a conversation with the staff, who was an LPN. I have been thinking about going back to school for a long time. We discussed the differences between an CNA, LPN, and RN. They sure sound like viable careers for me and something I would like. She said it can be challenge. My response was: "I need a challenge." Than, I thought about it. That is what I need in life right now.. a challenge.

This week I have gotten really down.. the most down I have been for a very long time... because it has felt suddenly my life has no direction but dead end jobs. I didn't go to college for dead end jobs. When I graduated college, I was excited for my future. I *thought* I was going to get a full time job in my field than had the realization there are near no jobs in my field that I qualify for. I kept asking myself, "Now what?".

The idea of nursing kept arising. I could start in an assisted living place, and get my CNA. From there, go to LPN and RN, if and when I wanted to. Than, when I was ready, I could settle into the health education as an RN. Essentially, I felt I was looking at a lifetime career that I would hopefully like. I don't know if I will like it but only one way to find out... to get the education and go for it.

I would have to figure out how to juggle my jobs, nursing classes, and my significant other... but.. you know what? I think I am ready for the challenge!

So, Monday, rather Tuesday (which I have off), I have a couple things on my To Do List. Call on all the jobs and applied to.. and call admissions and get information about potential nursing programs (and their waiting lists)!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OPTIMIST1948 2/23/2013 4:01AM

    Lood guck!

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NATPLUMMER 2/17/2013 10:19AM


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MYLADY4 2/16/2013 11:53AM

    Good for you!!!!!

Is there a tech school up there that has a nursing program? My daughter is in one down here and it is was less expensive than the college and getting way more hands on experiance too. She really likes it.

Can wait to here more!

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1CRAZYDOG 2/16/2013 10:24AM

    Bustin' my buttons proud of you honey! I think you'd be a great nurse . . . you have a huge, caring heart. For sure.

The one thing I have learned is this . . . not matter what, you will ALWAYS be well served by the things you learn in nursing school. The more you know about your body and how to take care of yourself, the better. You have a great start with the knowledge you already have.

I am excited for you. HUGELY. One step-at-a-time. You can do it.

HUGS HUGS HUGS! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DJ9ERS 2/16/2013 9:30AM

    Sounds like a good plan. That's what my wife did.

She on the home stretch of her RN degree from CSS, and works at an assisted living place part time.

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HDHAWK 2/16/2013 9:24AM

    Good for you. My daughter is a nurse and has her BSN. She's taking online classes now to get her masters. You can do it!

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PURPLESPEDCOW 2/16/2013 8:03AM

    This sounds like a plan! I like it. You deserve it.....and you might find that nursing is the right place for you. I really believe everyone has a place in this world and it sounds like you are excited about finding yours!

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SHERYLDS 2/16/2013 1:20AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I'm thrilled to pieces for you
I think that's terrific news.....GO FOR IT

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I need a pick me up.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Ever woke up one day and realized you didn't know who you were anymore?

I feel like that person. One moment, I was the girl that lost 100 pounds, trained for half marathons, loved eating healthy, and in the best shape I have been in ever. People said, "She's going places."

Since graduation, I feel I haven't gone anywhere, done anything. I still am the same part time job and do not qualify for any jobs out there. I would like to go back to college for an RN but I cannot afford it. All my accomplishments (weight loss, races) are things I have done in the last five years. Nothing in the six months, recent. My last race was in July. I thought about training for a full marathon. But the voice inside me says, "You can't. Look at your last attempt. You failed. You fail all the time." I know I need to do it because I need to believe in ME again. I just don't feel like I do anymore.

I know I am still the girl with the phoenix tattoo but feel I'm fading.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATPLUMMER 2/13/2013 11:35AM


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1CRAZYDOG 2/13/2013 11:08AM

    Dear Savannah:

You talked about getting a waitressing job -- have you looked into that? It would be at least something temporary, help you replenish your $$$ and you can begin to save if you want to go back to school as an RN. Have you looked into any jobs @ a local hospital? At least you'd be in the hospital atmosphere and see if you like it. How about cardiac rehab? With your degree, you might be able to do that.

It is tough, my dear, but don't give up and don't sell yourself short! You HAVE accomplished much, and are destined to accomplish much more.

Hang in there.


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AEROBISAURUS 2/13/2013 8:52AM

    The biggest mistake you could ever make is being too afraid to make one. emoticon

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PMRUNNER 2/13/2013 7:44AM

    Don't listen to the naysayers! (Even if they are coming from you)

So there are a few things that you tried and it didn't work the first time? Sometimes we trip and stumble on the path to success. Sometimes it takes starting over to get it right. There is greatness inside you, even if you falter and fail along the way. The choice is how you face those obstacles. You could crumble (but you won't!) or you can use challenges to build strength, perseverance and character!

Look at how many things you tried and accomplished! Know that if you focus and stick to it, you can do anything you set out to do.

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TINAJANE76 2/13/2013 5:46AM

    Hang in there! Like 4A-HEALTHY-BMI said, you've already overcome tremendous odds and you just need to work your way out of this funk and keep on going. Most of us have been there at some point and it is possible even if you're feeling down on yourself right now. You can do this!

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SPIRALDOWN 2/12/2013 10:09PM

    chin up and focus. you can do anything you set your mind to

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GETSTRONGRRR 2/12/2013 10:04PM

    Yeah those voices never really go away....we just need to listen to the other voices that talk louder, the ones that say, "I did this, I can do even more!"

For 4 months after I ran my first marathon (at age 48), I relaxed & took it easy. It wasn't long before I could hardly run 5 miles without getting winded! The only way I could get back on track was to pick a target date and register for another marathon (I put $100 on my credit card!), then tell all my friends I was going to run another marathon....that got me back on track....a goal, money, and peer pressure!

It's easy to start berating yourself saying, "What have I done lately"....the road back is accomplished with baby steps & consistency....just like you did when you eked out every step during your HM

Good luck!

Comment edited on: 2/12/2013 10:05:35 PM

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SHERYLDS 2/12/2013 9:58PM

    you can't say you fail all the time,
look at everything you've done.
focus on how to make your dreams happen...even if you have to make sacrifices. And Since when does a marathon define who you are and what you can do?
The only thing you have to do, is try SOMETHING you haven't done before. The past does not define what you can do.
Be the Phoenix. emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/12/2013 9:58:41 PM

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 2/12/2013 9:54PM

    For the weight loss, it's time to focus on maintaining for the next month. then six months. According to your data on the maintainer list, you've got less than six months to go before your 2-year maintenance anniversary.

That is a BIG DEAL. See these stats:

- The likelihood of regaining weight when you reach goal is 80% - 95%.
- When you've maintained for 2 years the likelihood of regain drops to 50%.*
- When you've maintained for 5 years the likelihood of regain drops to 27%!*

If you can just maintain until July 21, you'll have beaten tremendous odds...


So you see, getting to your weight loss goal was just the beginning. Now you're on your way to actually making it stick and THAT is a huge accomplishment.

For the other things, yes goal setting can be helpful too. But I'll restrict myself to the topic I'm most comfortable with, here.

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