Saturday, November 03, 2012
I started my internship in August. Since than, I have struggling to work out consistently while juggling everything else. That isn't exactly a state secret. Before my internship came along, I would work out nearly everyday. Each work out ranged from 30 minutes to nearly 2 hours. In fact, 2 hours was a good workout. When my internship came along, I was lucky if I worked out three times a week with each work out being like 30 minutes.
A few weeks ago, I set the goal of doing 10 minutes for 100 days. It felt like an over reach but I needed a goal. I tried it TWICE already and I think I am on the third time. Today I made it to Day 8! Some days were only 10 minutes. But, with each of these 10 minute days, I've noticed my stress level has decreased.
So, my conclusion is that I needed to lower my work out expectations. Aim for small goals. Small goals have always has worked out better for me. For example, in order to lose 100 pounds, I focused on ONE pound at a time.
My autumn goals -- so until January 1 -- are simple.
1. Complete 10 minutes of activity to stay on track with my 100 days of activity goal
2. Get down to 165.
Yesterday, I officially I saw "170" on the scale. I didn't ever want to see that again. But, I did. Now, it's time to get down to business. Or semi-business. Also, I feel out of shape. I am all soft and barely can run 2 miles. Wait until after January 1st, I am going to get in shape. I cannot wait. I hope to start training for my next half in January or February!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
In the last month or so, I have been seriously stressed about not having a place to live after graduation. People kept telling me "Oh, it will work out." It didn't help. (Sorry if you were one of those people.) I actually do alot better if I take make a plan and take action.
So, I did just that!
I asked for more hours at the Y. When I didn't get more hours, actually less, I found a way to get more hours/income at my other job. I made a savings plan. I started giving plasma. I started looking at places that need roommates. Even thought I had one. It fell through so I went back to the drawing board.
So, even through I still have no place to live, I feel good and not stressed. It's still there but things are coming together. Sooner or later, I have to stumble across something. Right now, I am finding alot of places that want you to move in now. After the 1st of November, I might be able to find more places that fit my requirements. If nothing else, I can move in with my friend. She has been condescending so not exactly too excited about moving in with her. No roommate is perfect but if a relationship is going to be ruined, it might as well as be with someone I don't know. Also, my savings plan might fail and would rather have to flake out on a stranger.
Now that I have worked through some worry and stress, I am getting excited for this new change in my life. I am even excited for the new potential routes at my new place/location.
I even have a new plan for my career. Many wellness education jobs that I am interested in require a RN, something I do not have. I am entertaining the idea of going back to school for it. Even if I just got the CNA, it would mean an double in my current pay. As an RA, my pay would triple. Also, I feel I could get into more of the wellness education component when I want my career to quiet down. It just seems to have alot of opportunities. So, since I need/should get another job to help pay for my new apartment, I am going to apply to some assisted living places. It would be a great way to get some experience and CNA training.
Anyhow, I am feeling excited about this new change of plans! Things are really piecing together and I don't feel so overwhelmed with stress about life after graduation. The stress isn't going anywhere but it's getting better!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
I think I need to vent about life. I am just stressed about everything.
My internship and whether they will keep me.
Finding a place to live after graduation.
Saving money for a deposit for housing.
Gaining 10# of weight over my goal weight which I maintained already for a year.
I try to worry about one thing than another and another and another pops in and now I am in tears but I have no idea what my future will be in like two months.
I thought if I can work just one more shift at work than I could just maybe save enough money for a deposit. My boss was scheduling me twice a week. Now she has me scheduled even less. Never mind, a deposit, I now have to figure out how in the world I am going have enough money for gas and food. I have even looked into food stamps and got denied because I do not work enough paid hours. My internship is approximately 40 hours a week unpaid. Right now the plan is to give plasma and train as much as I can to save money. I might start a small dog walking business... it's a thought.
But, the questions are always...
What IF I don't save enough money for a deposit and let down my friend who I am supposed to getting an apartment with?
What IF I don't get enough hours in January to pay for rent?
My boyfriend says I could move in with him and his mom. But, I don't feel comfortable with that because they live in low income. I don't want to get them in trouble. A co-worker has offered him her extra bed at her house. Members at the Y have offered to let me stay at her homes as well.
But, are they serious? Or are they being just nice? Most of them only know me in the Y setting. Maybe I am a messy person or or rude or something on those lines..
And, back to what if I don't get enough hours. My boss says she wants me to teach Silver Sneakers but that is taught at 9 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If I need to, how will I get another job with that one hour in the middle of the day? And, there was talk about a position as a Silver Sneakers Coordinator position but are they serious?
Alot of people talk and I don't know how seriously exactly they are... and this is my future.. my life.
Anyhow, thanks for listening. It was either telling you, a friend, or crying or both that relieved a little bit of stress.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Okay, let's keep this short and simple.
I have gained 7#.
I feel soft again. Like no toned muscles.
I feel out of shape.
Time to get fit!
But I need help.
I reached out to a maintenance team and they said the challenges are all over the place. I am mainly active on two teams - a half marathon team and a maintenance team. Neither have the focus of weight loss.
So, I am asking YOU.
What is your favorite team?
Is it active?
Are the challenges more than logging my weight?
What is your favorite challenge on the team?
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
For about three years while I was losing 100 pounds, I was able to fight the monster of emotional eating. In recent months, I have been failing miserably. So much so that I have gained about 10 pounds. But, honestly, it's not about the weight gain. It's more about how at the end of day, more often than not, I eat and eat and eat uncontrollably. It's scary to lose control.
I have tried tracking but that's not working. I limit my food than I find I am not eating enough throughout the day. Most days, when I was trying to watch I eat, I was around 1000 calories at 4:00 pm. That doesn't seem like enough calories, doesn't it? I even reached out to my counselor. She suggested tracking. Also, she suggested breaking food up. But, I still get this insane panic inside me.
So, what am I so emotional and stressed about, anyhow? In just a few months, I am graduating. I have no idea where I am going to work nor where I am going to live. I don't have enough money for a deposit either.
With all this going on, I feel like I have lost my spark for fitness. I am tired of trying to lose weight. I am tired of trying to have time to work out. I am tired of trying to sweat.
Any advice for me?
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