THECRAZYMANGO   31,580
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Just Need to Talk...

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I think I need to vent about life. I am just stressed about everything.

My boyfriend.
My internship and whether they will keep me.
Finding a place to live after graduation.
Saving money for a deposit for housing.
Gaining 10# of weight over my goal weight which I maintained already for a year.

I try to worry about one thing than another and another and another pops in and now I am in tears but I have no idea what my future will be in like two months.

I thought if I can work just one more shift at work than I could just maybe save enough money for a deposit. My boss was scheduling me twice a week. Now she has me scheduled even less. Never mind, a deposit, I now have to figure out how in the world I am going have enough money for gas and food. I have even looked into food stamps and got denied because I do not work enough paid hours. My internship is approximately 40 hours a week unpaid. Right now the plan is to give plasma and train as much as I can to save money. I might start a small dog walking business... it's a thought.

But, the questions are always...

What IF I don't save enough money for a deposit and let down my friend who I am supposed to getting an apartment with?
What IF I don't get enough hours in January to pay for rent?

My boyfriend says I could move in with him and his mom. But, I don't feel comfortable with that because they live in low income. I don't want to get them in trouble. A co-worker has offered him her extra bed at her house. Members at the Y have offered to let me stay at her homes as well.

But, are they serious? Or are they being just nice? Most of them only know me in the Y setting. Maybe I am a messy person or or rude or something on those lines..

And, back to what if I don't get enough hours. My boss says she wants me to teach Silver Sneakers but that is taught at 9 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If I need to, how will I get another job with that one hour in the middle of the day? And, there was talk about a position as a Silver Sneakers Coordinator position but are they serious?

Alot of people talk and I don't know how seriously exactly they are... and this is my future.. my life.

Anyhow, thanks for listening. It was either telling you, a friend, or crying or both that relieved a little bit of stress. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNER12COM 10/23/2012 9:54AM

    Make another list if all the amazing things about you and your life. Then make sure you alternate reading the two lists.

Life is stressful but it's also so, so amazing!

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1CRAZYDOG 10/22/2012 5:07PM

    1. Your boyfriend: Well I do think it's sweet that Mark offered that you could stay there w/he & his Mom. BUT you're right . . . if they're in low income and you moved in, they would ultimately get kicked out @ best. So, that would not be a viable option.

2. Your internship: I totally agree that you HAVE to have a heart-to-heart w/your boss about whether (or not) the offer to Silver Sneakers is legit or not. IF it is, then you need the details. IF it isn't going to work out, Savannah, then you really do need to move on from there. The thought of having to take at least a temporary job to earn the $$$ you need, will . . . unfortunately, that has to be a priority. Especially if you woulld qualify for food stamps and aide if you worked some more hrs. NOT appealing, I know. But if that's what has to be, that's what has to be. WOULD evening hrs., even a few more (whatever it takes to qualify for food stamps) work with your class schedule??

The other thing to consider is IF the offer re; The Silver Sneaker program is NOT going to happen they should not lead you on. More importantly, don't put yourself in a position of BEING led. ASK QUESTIONS. For sure.

3. Housing after graduation: I don't know what your agreement is with the person you agreed to share the apt. with. And not knowing your finances, all I can tell you is that you need to discuss it with her. For sure that's a discussion you two need to have.

4. Saving $$$ for the deposit. . . have you got a budget? That is the only way, in black-and-white, that you're going to see what you have, what is spent, IF there's any possible place to cut back and determine if it is realistic to commit to having that deposit.

5. Food: R U eating @ the church you spke. about before? No, it more than likely is NOT the best food choices, but it is something, on a temporary basis, that you could work around.

6 The weight gain: Sweetie, the constant stress reeks havoc on your body and until you get some of these questions ironed out, it is clear you're going to be stressed. Now, I'm not saying that **I** wouldn't do the same thing (STRESS) but it does affect us emotionally, physically and even spiritually.

Taking it one-day-at-a-time sometimes sounds trite, but reality is that is precisely what you have to do! And it if's one-hour-at-a-time, one-
SECOND-at-a-time, so be it.

Have you talked w/your parents about this? Maybe they'd help???

Prayers and hugs, honey. I know you are hanging by a thread, but hold onto that thread!!!





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NATPLUMMER 10/22/2012 9:47AM

    emoticon

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MYLADY4 10/22/2012 9:39AM

    Don't have any wise words to say just hang in there. Life is never easy and you will be stronger once you get through it.

Have a thought though, are there any convienence stores around that you might work at in the evenings? I know you are already doing so much but desperate times may call for desperate measures. A coworker, who is also an engineer, works at one 2 nights a week and 1 day on the weekend. She has a quilting side business and this job is just not enough to support them and the business.

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-POOKIE- 10/22/2012 3:05AM

    Something I like to remember about writing my thoughts on here is this...

... nobody makes anybody read the blog
... nobody makes anybody take the time to reply.

So you know, if people make the effort to reply, they actually care enough to take some time to do so.

I suggest you think over these options which are stressing you. If there are questions hanging on other people... then go ask them. Is this job for real? In writing perhaps if needed to help you be sure.
Ask about the housing, talk to your friend about the deposit, can she cover if you explain the situation, on the basis you will repay if the job situation improves?

A lot of talking can solve a lot!

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RUNNING-LIFE 10/21/2012 10:20PM

    emoticon I know stress and you've got a lot of pressure it sounds like right now. When I start getting overwhelmed/stressed about cancer and school etc my friends always tell me to get through it "one day at a time"

And its true. There's no use worrying about tommorrow till you get through today. Sometimes I have to forget about "one day at a time" and it becomes "one hour at a time" lol. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Feel free to add me as a friend or Sparkmessage me or whatever.

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Looking to Join a New Team

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Okay, let's keep this short and simple.

I have gained 7#.
I feel soft again. Like no toned muscles.
I feel out of shape.

Time to get fit!

But I need help.

I reached out to a maintenance team and they said the challenges are all over the place. I am mainly active on two teams - a half marathon team and a maintenance team. Neither have the focus of weight loss.

So, I am asking YOU.

What is your favorite team?
Is it active?
Are the challenges more than logging my weight?
What is your favorite challenge on the team?
And, why?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RACEWELLWON 10/19/2012 2:17PM

    I think you should research the teams - I like the 10 pounds a month club - I also like - where am I walking to club - check them out .

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RUNNER12COM 10/16/2012 8:13PM

    Team SDJ... but I'm terribly biased. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 10/16/2012 6:38PM

    I am part of the 77 Days of Autumn Challenge. I also did tne 100 days of Summer Challenge. There is a related word (like for example, this week the word is TURKEYS). There are seven separate tasks associated with each of the letters in the word. You have to track and post, and your best to check in daily as this raises your level of commitment. You do not have to specifically be in maintenance mode, so working with the goals to lose weight is fine. Check it out.

And I agree with SHERYLDS. check out the information on the sites she suggests.

HUGS

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EJOY-EVELYN 10/16/2012 12:30PM

    I enjoy the 5% challenges and the Teddy Bear Team (one of about 11 teams) . . . however, these and the Biggest Loser Challenge and their interim SAC team challenges are not for the weak at heart as my 5% team runs every 12 weeks or so for 8 weeks and actively track three areas: 1) we post our fitness minutes as miles to an exotic city, while 2) living the good life (LTGL) and earning team points with one specific challenge each week (ie drinking water, reading labels, eating freggies, rewarding self, rewarding others/blogging, sleeping 7-9 hours, etc), and 3) weekly weigh ins. If youíre not up to the daily logging, then this team is not for you. There are a lot of people not up to the daily commitment expected of them. Being that Iím in Week Two of an 8-week challenge, the next challenge may not begin until closer to the New Year.

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SHERYLDS 10/16/2012 10:55AM

    I'm Not as much of an expert as you are...
but everything I read says that for 'weight loss' diet/calories are the deciding factor and exercise stimulates the metabolism.
Check out WebMD.com or LiveStrong.com


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NATPLUMMER 10/16/2012 9:18AM

    I feel the same way.

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Emotional Eating Monster

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

For about three years while I was losing 100 pounds, I was able to fight the monster of emotional eating. In recent months, I have been failing miserably. So much so that I have gained about 10 pounds. But, honestly, it's not about the weight gain. It's more about how at the end of day, more often than not, I eat and eat and eat uncontrollably. It's scary to lose control.

I have tried tracking but that's not working. I limit my food than I find I am not eating enough throughout the day. Most days, when I was trying to watch I eat, I was around 1000 calories at 4:00 pm. That doesn't seem like enough calories, doesn't it? I even reached out to my counselor. She suggested tracking. Also, she suggested breaking food up. But, I still get this insane panic inside me.

So, what am I so emotional and stressed about, anyhow? In just a few months, I am graduating. I have no idea where I am going to work nor where I am going to live. I don't have enough money for a deposit either.

With all this going on, I feel like I have lost my spark for fitness. I am tired of trying to lose weight. I am tired of trying to have time to work out. I am tired of trying to sweat.

Any advice for me?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RACEWELLWON 10/15/2012 7:47PM

    Are you sure we are not related? Little Laughter :) Goes a long way. I do the same thing when I have alot of things going on in my life. The stress of graduating , moving all that is working on you. Let me introduce myself , my name is Karen - I live in Chicago - I am taking a CPC Medical Board on this coming Sat. (yikes) so I have been eating like a banshee , lately - even with tracking but , I know this its stress- That little gland the hypothalamus - he's tiny but control a ton of functions in our body. When we get into stress mode - the hypothalamus goes into fight to flight mode! He send singles to the rest of our body that we are in starvation mode - therefore, the rest of body puts the brakes on and stops eliminating the fat. Its all true - A book suggestion - The Core Weight by Marcella Peck she is a nurse practitioner for an OB/GYN - she's awesome - she explains then entire process and perhaps you should be eating more than you currently are - Her Book can purchased online under $20.00 at Hull House Natural Healing. I know because in Nov. of 2010 I stepped into a hole and damaged both legs ! Six surgeries to walk again ! I gained 80 pounds , wow. I read her material and combined her thoughts with Spark and since April of 2012 - I lost 20" in my waist- just breathe deep- Get through Graduation first every thing else will fall into place - you'll see. I am here if you would like to talk - Hugs Karen emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/15/2012 7:50:23 PM

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TALVARADO6 10/11/2012 8:35PM

    If you are tired of trying to lose weight, then try just maintaining for awhile. You look great, it's ok to just stay the way you are for awhile. It's good to let your body adjust.

You are going through a stressful time right now, I can understand that. Coupled with the stress of trying to lose more weight can be overwhelming. Try researching some stress relieving activities that sound good to you. It is your body, listen, and it will tell you what it needs.

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JPGSMOM 10/11/2012 2:58PM

    Hey girl... You are on the precipice of something wonderful... Your life is just starting to blossom. These are very wonderful, but yes, very scary things. The unknown can be very frightening and intimidating. But this is what happens in life to all of us. We are constantly faced with some kind of adversity. Rest assured that once we think we've got things under control, something else is thrown your way. You should be proud of yourself... Because you are here blogging about this challenge you are going through. So, that means that you see this "monster", and you're not willing to let it do what it wants to do to you. There are always going to be changes in our lives that we will need to face, whether it is facing graduating and moving on to the next phase of our life, or dealing with an aging parent, or adjusting to a new baby, etc... These are all challenges that each of us will inevitably face. How we decide to face them may mean the difference between throwing away everything we've worked so hard for here, and truly putting what we've learned to work for us. I guess I look at you and me for example... We are both at very different stages in our lives, and facing very different challenges, yet we have both made SP work in our lives. The one thing I've learned along the way, is that there are so many of us struggling, succeeding, working hard at making a lifestyle change that works for us, but we all have our own way of doing it. What works for one of us doesn't necessarily work for all of us. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, try to embrace what is coming. Try not to worry so much about how your current routine is going to fit into your new life. Chances are it may not, and you will have to find a new way to implement healthy choices into your new life. Maybe marathons will have to wait, maybe the gym won't see you as much as it does now, but that doesn't mean there aren't other ways to work for a healthy lifestyle. And that doesn't mean you are failing. Quite the opposite, consciously making adjustments to how you are implementing things into your life to stay healthy means you are succeeding. So, go ahead and let yourself focus on the new priorities ahead. I mean, you have to right? :-) The one thing that I love about SP, is that it is flexible enough to work for anyone. (You told me that once! :-) We bend it in ways to make it work for us. I have a feeling that if you're able to rely on the foundations of what you've learned through your weight loss journey stay with you now, you will find a new way to make a healthy lifestyle fit into your new life. Good luck to you, and know that there are people who care about you.
emoticon

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PATRICIAANN46 10/11/2012 2:31PM

  Hi Savannah.........
I wish that I had the answer for you, but I don't think that any one answer applies to all of us. We each have individual needs and have to do what works for us.
When I get into this slump, I have to find something in my present situation that will excite me. If I am happy with what is going on in my life, it is usually because I am taking good care of myself. Is there an area in your life that you could change that would excite you? You mentioned the fact that you are graduating. This in itself is scary, because you will be looking for a job and maybe moving to another area. We tend to like what is familiar and you are facing changes in the next few months. Even though these changes are exciting, they are also stressful.
I would try to find something that you really enjoy and that will keep you from over-eating in the evening too. YOU are the only one who knows what this can be.
I wish you the emoticon .
emoticon
Patti

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1CRAZYDOG 10/11/2012 2:25PM

    Maybe joining a challenge as EJOY suggested? Maybe indeed you neeed more that 1,000 calories by 4 pm not to feel like eating the leg off a horse. THAT'S when I experience failure as well.

Above all, hang in there. You CAN do this, Savannah. You have worked soooooo bloody hard to get where you're at. It's not worth giving up.

I know you have multiple stressors going on right now. That doesn't help, I know.

HUGS!

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NATPLUMMER 10/11/2012 10:10AM

    emoticon

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EMFRAPPIER 10/11/2012 8:45AM

    I've been battling this same monster for a long time. I think it's something that will always be there in the background. It's tough, but try to take it day by day. Break down your concerns into manageable steps and really be aware of your feelings and address them. You'll figure out what you need and what works for you.

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EJOY-EVELYN 10/10/2012 11:11PM

    I have done something similar and my last blog returns me to SparkTeam challenge mode during this season where I seem to want to eat all the time. My battle with food may very well be a life-long battle to work towards the path of healthy living. Hope you can find what works for you.

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October's Goals: BF%, ST 4x/week, Track Daily!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

After writing my most recent blog, I did more thinking about BMI and body fat percentage. I even found a formula from my personal training resources to determine what body fat percentage I should be at. It turns out that no matter how I focus on it, I should be near one number... 145. If I was a 145, I would have at a healthy BMI and a healthy body fat percentage in theory.

Today's Stats:
BMI 29
BF% 32
Weight 167

Goal Stats
BMI 25
BF% 25
Weight 145

To get to my goal, I think I am going to try to focus on strength train one muscle group four days a week. This would be a different approach to strength training but maybe what I need to mix it all up for me! If you do this, I would love to hear which muscle groups you focus on each day to prevent overtraining and injury!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEART4HOME 9/28/2012 7:45AM

    Great goals and good for you. I know that you will do an amazing job.

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EJOY-EVELYN 9/27/2012 8:42PM

    You will be so hot with the achievement of this wise goal ... And, don't get me wrong, you really do look hot now!

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PATRICIAANN46 9/27/2012 2:40PM

  Hi Savannah.......
Sounds like a good plan to me. Mixing things up has multiple rewards that I think you will be happy with. The "NEWNESS" of what you are doing should "SPARK' or renew your interest. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 9/27/2012 2:24PM

    You can do this! Glad you have a plan. HUGS!

Barb

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NATPLUMMER 9/27/2012 1:03PM

    Good plan.

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SHRINKINRUNNER 9/27/2012 12:58PM

    emoticon

What is this formula to figure out the body fat?!

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Weight Watchers Inspiring A New Focus?

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Today I went to Weight Watchers to inquire about a job there. I have lost 100 pounds and like helping people reach their health and fitness goals. Basically, they told me I had to do two things.
1. Be part of their program, reach and maintain my goal for 6 weeks.
2. Be at a BMI of 25. (For my height, that is around 145.)

Putting aside the fact I have gained 7 pounds, I am pretty happy at 160. The conversation with the district manager for WW really gave me something to think about. I am not sure if I WANT to lose 20#. No, wait. I am not sure if I have the motivation to put the energy into it like I did before. When I reached my goal of losing 100 pounds, I was exhausted and tired of trying to lose weight. I was ready to be done!

Than, there is the fact I would have to pay $35.95 for the first month than $42.95 for the following months. This fee includes weekly meetings, the point system, and an online community. Why should/would I pay for this if I have Sparkpeople for FREE?

Let's be honest! IF I was tracking my food and fitness, I would be losing weight. That brings me to my next thought. Maybe it is time to let go that I lost 100 pounds. My page is an inspiration to others to do what I did but it is not really motivation for myself like it has been in the past!

With that in mind, maybe it is time to revamp my page and focus on a goal of 20 pounds. This means removing past progress photos. Maybe putting them in a file on the computer for safe keeping. I do have my photos in places besides Sparkpeople, of course! The thing is I know if I started to focus on 1 pound a week (very reasonable!), I could be 155 by New Year's Day! That is a 12 pound loss from what I am today! My boyfriend did say he would help me. He really is supportive!

And, if you are curious, I am still fighting the battle of wanting to store all my food away for winter, like a squirrel and their nuts! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATPLUMMER 9/26/2012 4:36PM

    It sounds like it has!!

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PATRICIAANN46 9/26/2012 12:33PM

  Hi Savannah.........
I would say that YOU have found your new SPARK!!!!!
emoticon
Patti

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1CRAZYDOG 9/26/2012 9:28AM

    Go for it. I wouldn't worry about WW at all. I think you DO have what it takes to do this w/SP. I wouldn't remove progress pictures! I believe you page is inspiring to soooo many. But DO change up your goal to reflect your journey to lose that 20 lbs. if that is what you decide you should do!

Wishing you much luck, and I agree . .. this may be what you've been searching for to challenge yourself!

Ciao
Barb

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JPGSMOM 9/26/2012 7:43AM

    Savannah, you've been looking for a new challenge for awhile now. Maybe this is what you need... Go get em girl!

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EJOY-EVELYN 9/26/2012 1:54AM

    Do whatever your heart desires. You're the whole package and I wouldn't want to leave any part of the good history you've overcome behind. Having been an active weight watcher for over five years, I have missed only this last month as a lifetime member who's been nearing the high-end of my BMI. I would like to return to a closer to 22 BMI. Already have two Spark Challenges lined up that will take me into Thanksgiving and Christmas and will likely add another one while checking back in with my WW group again soon.

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SHERYLDS 9/26/2012 12:58AM

    do it....you would really prove to yourself what a true CHAMPION you are.

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