Sunday, August 05, 2012
Yesterday I completed the Go Dirty Girl mud run in Welch, Minnesota. I wish I could tell you had a blast and cannot wait to do it again. Honestly, that is not my story.
In the first half of the race, I got really bummed out. Everyone had a group. And, each group had either a team name or decked out in pink. I tried my best to have fun with my own company. It was hard. These girls were diving into mud puddles, embracing being muddy!
About half way through the course, the hardest obstacle presented itself. The Wall. I waited for about 20 minutes before I was staring at the wall in fear. The woman next to me could tell that I was terrified. She was like, "Ready?" Ah, no! We talked and I gave her permission to push me over the wall. Than, I climbed it. I scaled to the top than when I was sitting on the top of the wall, one leg on each side, I was terrified. I had no idea how in the world I was going to get down. There was no one to help me but ME. No family. No friends. No GDG staff. Just ME.
That is when I looked over to the girl that was next to me and asked her to talk me through it. She did. Eventually, I got down the wall to the safety of the ground. That is when I met my heros... the girl in the line and the girl that talked me through it. Apparently, both girls were part of the same group. After they learned I was doing it solo, they adopted me as part of their group. I hung with them through the rest of the obstacles. I realize I am some people's hero but these four girls are MY heros.
At the end, my brother in law and nephew was there waiting. So, in the end, I did have family there at the race! After taking a mud shot with a couple of the girls, we went to the gear pick up where it took at least 15 minutes to find my bag. I definitely was getting a bit panicky. Than, I stripped it off in the changing tent. At that point, I was grateful for my higher self confidence because I didn't care there were zillion women that I did not know. I wanted out of my muddy clothes... NOW! Than, we headed out. I am not sure if some of this mud will ever get off my feet or my finger nails.
So, am I glad I did it?
Am I going to do it again?
Probably not! It would have been more fun with people and I just am not one to get muddy. I think I will stick to running half marathons. I get a true sense of accomplishment from it, something I didn't get from this mud run.
So, what's next?
After a conversation with Robert, ON2VICTORY, I realized I am holding myself back from my own greatness. In fact, I am scared of where I can go. In searching for my internship, I had major companies interview me because of my impeccable experience on my resume. This was scary. I did not get these internships with Hilton Head Health or the Mayo Clinic. And, to be honest, I am relieved.
Anyhow, back to this conversation with Robert, I realized I am scared of my greatness and the places I can go. That is exactly why I did not push myself to do the full marathon. And, honestly, why I have quit pushing myself, in general. Right now, I have no real challenges in my life.
So, with this in mind, I am going to find myself a triathlon training plan and go for it. After making this decision, I got really energized, something I haven't been about exercise for weeks. This is something I can work towards and achieve. Also, I think it will make me a stronger runner while taking a break from running.
I told my boyfriend of my training plans and he told me "You go, girl!". It feels great to finally have a guy beside me cheering and supporting me in whatever I do. Maybe, I can get him into triathlons. He loves to bike and he is an awesome swimmer. I believe he was 3rd place on his swimming team in High School. So, he is going to teach me how to bike than I hope he can teach me to swim more efficiently. I have already informed him that he will be helping me with these skills. In addition to that, it was great to come home last night from my trip and both him and his mom had so much to tell me. They missed me! It was really wonderful!
So, even through I was disappointed that my family was not there for whatever the reasons, I was thankful that some strangers came through for me in strides! And, now, I have a new direction!
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Since I started running, I have had someone, a friend or a family member, at my races. They either supported me by running with me or photographing the new memory for me.
This weekend will be different.
This weekend, I will run Go Dirty Girl, an all girl mud run. It will be my FIRST mud run. Not only will I be doing it alone (everyone else has other obligations), I will be challenged with being muddy and ELEVEN different obstacles. The one I am most nervous about is climbing over a wall and climbing a net. Heights is not my friend, and I am very fearful of it.
To be honest, I think the hardest part of this race is not going to be the obstacles. It is going to be showing up and doing it alone. My sister is taking the kids up to my parents so they can watch the grandkids for a week. My other sister has to work. My boyfriend has to go to a funeral of a friend's mom. I am disappointed but yet I understand. I really wish someone, anyone, could be there with me. In the last year, I have forgone too many races than I'd like to admit because I didn't have anyone with me. But, yet, this experience will make me stronger, gain confidence and independence!
There will be no pictures to memorate this part of my journey but I hope to update you with a blog afterwards!
Friday, July 27, 2012
The main message from my last couple blogs was to take a break! Many suggested taking a break from Sparkpeople. Honestly, I am not sure if I could do that. I have too many friendships here to just let it go. With that mind, I do think I am going to take a break from running. *gasp!* This was a suggestion from Robert (ON2VICTORY). I think I am burned out from running... reading about it, leading runs, finding my own routes and doing races.
In the meantime, the guy I am dating has offered to teach me to ride a bike. He loves to bike and maybe this would be just the thing I need to mix things up. So, for the month of August, this means running if I feel like it. If not, than no guilt about not running.
In addition to taking a break from running, my goal for August is to get my workouts to be more consistent. I do well for a few days than I have a few days I don't work out. To break this cycle, my goal for August is to work out - any work out - every other day. If I so happen do more workouts than that, great! If not, that is okay, too!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Last time I blogged many friends suggested that I take a break from Sparkville. I am afraid if I did that I wouldn't come back. Not that I don't like it here. I do. It's just that I am afraid it would be a permanent change. In the last month, I have missed alot of exercise days and I am afraid it will become a permanent change. It's like I don't find it a big deal if a miss a day (or more) of exercise. Before I would panic that I would gain weight. It was the repercussion. Lately, it's like a reward. In fact, I am down to 154-ish, the lowest I have ever been, and I haven't been working out. I think I might have been on a plateau and not realize it. You see I have been eating different foods as I have been hanging out with the guy I am dating.
Anyhow, I just needed to state it even through my heart isn't really into the blog.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Once upon a time, my personal training manual said that one when a makes the change for a healthier lifestyle, they can fall off the wagon at any point, even maintenance.
As of yesterday, I have maintained my weight loss for one year to be exactly. It was hard but I did learn that I could let not work out a few days a week and still maintain. I, also, learned I could go out to eat and maintain. Now, don't get me wrong, it is great I learned these things.
But, also, it is NOT good. For the last two weeks, I have not really exercised (and still maintained). Sporadically, I have exercised. But, not like I should be. And, not consistently. It's not even like I hate exercise. It has just moved down on my priorities. It has become I will do it later. I really cannot blame it any one thing.
Maybe this is another reason I haven't been on here much. Everyone has this exciting goals. I got nothing. I have nothing to work towards. Sure, I can make goals. I have done this in the past but I am not passionate about them. I guess I miss my weight loss journey. I was focused, determined and passionate about my goals. I guess that is why I trained for the marathon. It was a new and exciting goal.
In addition to this, I know I am really bored. I am bored with my food. Even today, I don't want to cook. I have has those foods for ever and ever. And, it's not only the food, I am bored with the exercise. The idea of doing the elliptical and stationary bike one more time really does not appeal to me. Even the idea of running the same exact path I have been running for the last two years does not appear to me either. I guess, to be honest, I am bored with Sparkpeople. I have found I have read all the articles I am interested with.
You know, I cannot even blame it on my new beau. He asks what I want to eat and we find a compromise. For example, he wanted Taco Bell and those are crazy high in calorie, fat and sodium. We ended up going to Old Country Buffet. I had a salad --- amazing! Than, I kinda went overboard on carbs. Oops! But, I don't think I did that terrible. I guess I physically feel fine. I don't feel like crap like I would if I ate Taco Bell. Anyhow, we compromised.
I guess I lost my spark.
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