Friday, May 25, 2012
When I started this journey, one of the tips I found on Sparkpeople was to share your goals. The idea of sharing your goals is that it keeps you accountable.
Recently, I have found sharing goals can be inspiring.
In April, I told my friend about how I struggle with strength training and how I put a smile-y sticker on my calendar. As long as I get three stickers each week, I was going to reward myself with a sport massage. (Next week, I hope to get this massage I earned!) Apparently, I inspired her to strength train as well, something she does not like to do either. She even is putting on stickers, too. This was pretty cool as she is super fit.
Fast forward a few weeks later and now it seems like we have similar goals. We are going to do intervals or hills every week. This happened because again I told her about the goals and now we are working on it together.
But, don't believe I am not affected by other people's goals for one second. My sister shared her goal to lose 25 pounds this summer. It has inspired me to start up my weight loss again. You know, even this skydiving thing has popped up again because my friend posted on Facebook that he's going skydiving. It got me thinking about how I want to go skydiving and the reason why.
Another instance of this never ending change of inspiration. My friend follows blogs and was telling me about runforcookies blog who is also a sparker. So naturally I check it out myself. This woman looks familiar. I do some more digging and I find out she is on a Ragnar Relay with John. You know John of course. Than, I tell my friend all this and now we both want to do the Ragnar Relay. And, now one of these days I am going to show my friend who is a committed runner Sparkpeople!
So, the moral of the story is to share your goals and inspirations because you never know who YOU, yes, YOU, will inspire! Like us Sparkers says, it only takes a spark to create a fire. Let's start this fire... share your goals with someone!
(By the way, I THREE times this week!)
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
On July 17th, I will have maintained my 100 pound weight loss for one year to be exact. Last summer, I said I wanted to go skydiving but never did. In a few days, I will have a school refund but I am thinking of setting aside some money and doing it on July 17th. Skydiving is crazy enough but I am terrified of falling. So terrified I don't like being up high on anything.. ladders, roofs, weight benches. Even the other students in my Track and Field could see I was terrified of falling.
This is crazy...
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
It is no secret I have been under alot of stress in the last week physically and emotionally. During this week, my weight jumped up to 166.8. Since than I have been consciously trying to get my weight back down. Yesterday, I got it down to 165.6 than this morning 163.something. I know I did not lose three pounds in two days. Between all the salt I was eating and the stress I was experiencing, apparently I was holding onto some weight. So glad I am back down to 163-ish. My goal for the summer is to get between 140 and 150 by Labor Day weekend. That is 13 pounds or 1 pound a week! I can do it!!!
Also, my grades have been coming in. Right now, my GPA is 2.81. That is .2 away from a 3.0 GPA. Do you know what this means?!!! If I can manage a 3.0, I could get into graduate school in the future. This is doable, I feel! For me, this is huge. One upon a time, when my life was a mess and was not managing depression well at all, my GPA was under 2.0. So excited!!!!
Okay, moving on from that WooHoo party, my clients keep canceling on me. I sure hope it's not me. Today my client is sick with a fever. Yes, please, stay home. But, this means I will have time to go when the pool is open today!
Sunday, May 20, 2012
High School was very painful for me. It consisted of loneliness, teasing and being mocked. Besides having a learning disability and apraxia, a speech disorder, I was overweight. My best friend, Chelsea, was as well.
In High School, I was very reserved with extreme low self esteem. Chelsea, my best friend and birthday twin, was not. She was confident, outgoing, and she wasn't afraid of the world, unlike me.
Since graduating High School, I went to college for Visual Communication Technology or web design in layman terms. Than, I was a real estate agent. Than, I went back to school. During these years, I was so unhappy with myself which I contributed largely to being overweight. I chose to lose weight. And, I succeeded. Great. Wonderful.
What's the point? There is one. Hang in there with me.
Tonight, I was on Facebook and a classmate's sister who both Chelsea and I were friends with messaged me.
She wrote this:
"Just have to say, I saw a picture of Chelsea from fairly recently. It made me think of how much you have done for yourself. I wish that poor girl could find the motivation to do the same as what you have done. I love her, too, but I feel so bad for her. Still have to say I am amazed by what you did for yourself."
This is so unfair! Chelsea does not need her pity. I have always admired Chelsea for her confidence and outgoing spirit. Chelsea has a bright future and recently got engaged to a really nice guy. And, she is happy. I chose to lose weight to be happy.
I am so very sick of people condemning people that overweight. What if they are happy? Doesn't that count for anything?! Yes, I know all the health reasons to lose weight. In my opinion, obesity is one of the hardest diseases out there. People can see it. You cannot hide it. And everyone makes it THEIR business when it's not.
Maybe this comment wouldn't have affected me as much a few weeks or months ago. But, on Friday I went to counseling, where I cried, knowing the only way they'd heal is to rip them open so I can be a stronger person. Well, this comment got me crying again. I am not sure if I am crying for myself or my best friend.
So, you may wonder, how did I reply?
"I changed because I was unhappy. Chelsea is very happy with herself and I have always admired that of her. I am happy with me and happy for her."
You know, I truly wish I was as happy as Chelsea was. Just because I have lost 100 pounds does not.. does NOT.. mean I am happy. Yes, I have gained more confidence and overall like me more. But, never have a doubt that you should pity someone's life because they are overweight. If that's the case, I pity you!
Anyways, the girl never replied to what I said. Seriously, did she think I'd just sit by and let her be mean to my best friend who I have had since High School. Riiiiiggghhtt! I guess I changed in more than just my appearance.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
The week the main goal is to get my fitness and food back on track. This is the game plan.
- Track my food Monday thru Friday (going home for the weekend)
I would like to add more protein snack in between meals. It would help me curb my late night salt cravings along with staying full longer. Any favorites?
- Exercise everyday
Monday - swim, lifting, running
Tuesday - run with the group
Wednesday - PT session, swim afterwards
Thursday - TBD
Friday - PT session, swim afterwards
Saturday - run 3-4 miles
Sunday - walk
Monday - TBD, potentially find a way to strength train outside of the gym
So that's the game plan. Not glamorous but hopefully achievable!
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