THECRAZYMANGO   31,633
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Reaching My Stress Limit

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

I wish I was better at handling stress. Lately, it seems like I am always stressed and just cannot relax. It's the job. It's the friends. It's the internships. It's the end of the semester. It's my finances. Or, maybe it's just me.

So, what's going on? Let me tell you. (I will try to make it quick!)

Job...
You already know about the job. So, let's skip on over that one. My boss is retiring in a month and a half. I can hold out. I can, gosh darn it!

Friends...
In the last few years, I have made alot of changes, inside and out, and promptly outgrew many of my friends. In fact, I don't feel like I have any similar interests with them. I think that is why I am happy at work... they are like me.. they desire a healthy lifestyle and pursues one. My previous friends actually do not really get my desire to eat healthy or work out. This situation is quite lonely.

Internships...
For the last few weeks, I have been waiting on a certain internship in South Carolina to hear an answer. As more time goes on, I am not sure if I even want it. Even through I am ready to move on from college, I have made a life here in this little town. Every week the Run for Life internship where I would be in charge of the program appeals to me everyday. It's not just the internship. It's also being close to my family, being able to go to weddings of my close friends, and being able to train for Whistlestop Marathon. The last one means I could start training for it in June and STILL run my first full marathon when I am 26!

End of the semester...
Everyone is stressed at school, professors and classmates alike. I pick up on stress really easy. I only have a couple more things to do than it should be finals week. So glad it's almost over.

So, what am I doing about all this? I am not doing well if it at all! In fact, today I stressed ate half a bag of almond joys. You know the funny thing about stress eating.. I know I am doing it but I don't care. I just want relief. My counselor says to journal. Why? I am stressed. I don't care about my weight. I just don't want to be stressed anymore. I have found out that lifting helps relieve some of that stress.

Talking of lifting, I only missed like TWO days during the month of April! Now that's progress. Tomorrow I attempt to do it with May.

Anyhow, if I seem a bit stressed.. well.. because I am. Just so you know. Today I got some relief with doing some running and on Sunday I will be doing Eau Claire's Half Marathon so that's more stress relief. Monday I work so it might be short lived.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HANNAHV 5/2/2012 3:21AM

    Great blog! I like that you let it out and then find ways to deal with it. You are definitely doing the complete journey and growing stronger and wiser by the day. emoticon


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MYLADY4 5/1/2012 10:20PM

    Oh Savannah, understand that things will get better and just try to keep you head above water. School will be done soon and old boss will be gone soon but for now, it just sucks. Accept it for what it is and do your best to make it through.

At least you can forget about it all for a while on Sunday.

Hang in there.

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PATRICIAANN46 5/1/2012 9:40PM

  Hi Savannah..........
Once again, you have snapped me right back to my final semester, Senior year of college. I can even feel my spine tensing while reading your blog. I guess that my advice to you is to take all of your natural tension relievers (the healthy ones) and use them to your benefit. Exercise is definitely a natural tranquilizer and can be used daily with great side effects. Get as much sleep as possible. If I am tired, stress gets to me with even more of a vengeance!!! And eat the foods that are not only good for you but are calming. You know all of this.........You will be fine......After graduation, you are free to choose whatever area suits you best. It will be fine........it really will........
emoticon
Patti

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PURPLESPEDCOW 5/1/2012 9:35PM

    Just breathe and step back for a moment. Write each stressor on a piece of paper and burn it. While you watch it burn, let it go. Sometimes it helps to have a visual to release things.

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SHERYLDS 5/1/2012 9:06PM

    “The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.” ~Napolean Hill

if anyone can make it all work out....I know YOU CAN emoticon

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Rule #5: Listen to your body

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Today after work, I drove up to the north shore, planning to run along Brighton Beach. As I drove, it was relaxing to watch the waves on Lake Superior. Mother nature can be a beautiful thing! Eventually, I pulled over and shot some pictures.




Like last weekend, I had a choice. Either to get out of the car and run. Or not. Today, I chose not to. As I was driving the North Shore, I was nauseous and got my headache again. This is when I decided to pull out my rule book out and listen to my body. Today my body was saying, "Hello, person up there, we need a rest." As I promised a couple weeks ago, I listened.

In fact, I followed rule #5 to the tee.

It says: "Listen to your body. If it says I am tired or this isn't fun, stop. If it says, I need more food because I am tired, eat more! If it says rest, well, rest."

I even did the second part without thinking too much. I picked up a pizza and ate nearly the whole thing. emoticon Than, a hour later, I took a nap... for four hours. You think I needed some major sleep? I do.

Tomorrow I have the day off so I think I shall run. I will run as much or as little as I feel. It might be no miles. Tomorrow I might just lift. My trainer gave me new exercises and I am excited to them. They make me feel strong!

Either way, I do have a race to prepare for this week. Last time I forgot that. This week my focus has to be my base runs and water, water, water! It is important. Last time I tried to do it last minute. Not cool. So, let the water drinking begin!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 4/29/2012 10:12PM

  Hi Savannah.........
emoticon for sharing your pictures of Lake Superior. You are so lucky to live so close to such a beautiful place.
emoticon on doing the right thing for you by listening to your body. You are a smart girl and it shows by your decision-making.
Have a great week.
emoticon
Patti

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1CRAZYDOG 4/29/2012 8:45PM

    My dear, I am very proud of you for listening to your body! It's not always easy, but in the end, it is the best thing to do. Hope you feel better.

You have a level head on your shoulders. Good for you!

Hugs,
Barb

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MYLADY4 4/29/2012 10:49AM

    WHOOHOOO for listening and taking it easy. You will feel better on Sunday for it.

This next week I am going to try real hard to take it easy so I have enough energy for Sunday's race. Only 6 more running miles to go before then so I think I can do it.

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NATPLUMMER 4/29/2012 9:11AM

    Yay for you!!!
Beautiful view.

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YDAVIS23 4/29/2012 7:05AM

    This is a tough lesson, but it sounds like you've done great! Hope you enjoyed the pizza :)

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I am ready!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I am a person that believes in putting out positive energy. This is the reason I believe in putting out positive blog. This is not one of them. Sorry about that but I need to let out some frustrations.

For the last year and half, I have working at the Y as part of the Wellness Center staff. I understand that I have to work some weekends. On the other hand, if I need a weekend off, I have to request, the entire weekend off. Than, in addition to that, I have deal with a guilt trip from my boss.

During May, I told her I need every Saturday off. Basically, I am sick of working every Saturday when our two interns get them off. In fact, the one intern gets every single weekend (Friday-Sunday) off in May where I am fighting for mine.

I am just so livid. I just got off the phone with my boss. I called to see if she got the schedule done. During discussing the weekends, she told me I got all the weekends off. All three of them. Um, hold the phone. Isn't there FOUR weekends in a month? Than, she precedes to guilt-trip me and was like I need someone on May 12th and May 26th. No way am I taking though. May 12 is my cousin's wedding. I may get disowned if I don't go! And May 26th is Memorial weekend. I am not working though.

Here's a thought.. maybe make it clear to the interns that they have to work weekends too. Than, she wouldn't be in this bind. I am NOT doing it. I already feel guilty! Argh!!!

I really am ready to graduate and move onto a career that does not require ME to work every single weekend. I want a life beyond college! This working four jobs is nonsense. More and more, I want to give my notice at the Wellness Center and just become a personal trainer.

I am ready to live in an apartment where I do not have to climb a flight of stairs to make my breakfast.

I am ready to be able to sleep because I won't have a zillion loud people outside my door like all the time.

I am ready to make friendships with new, mature people in a new area!

I am ready!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XRSIZE18 4/27/2012 10:03AM

    Man, that would be frustrating! The great thing is, you CAN learn to control how you feel about the guilt. My family (especially my mother) is one of the best guilt trippers in the entire world. When I finally decided I wasn't going to be guilted by her anymore, the weight lifted off my shoulders felt SO good.

Know what you want and don't make concessions for other people's problems. Period. :)

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PATRICIAANN46 4/25/2012 3:09PM

  Hi Savannah........
OMG..........Yo
u just brought back a whole truckload of memories from the last semester of my Senior year. I was so tired of carrying several jobs and still NOT having any $ and I was also tired of living in a house with 7 other girls and NEVER having peace and quiet and PRIVACY!!! It is time for you to GRADUATE and get on with your life beyond college. As a Personal Trainer, you may face working on weekends, but you will also have more control over your vacation time as part of a contract.
It does get better.......I promise.
emoticon
Patti

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STRIPEDTIGER 4/25/2012 11:47AM

    I know it's hard but fight the guilt. Stand up for yourself. Maybe ask, in a nice way, why the interns aren't required to help.

I've learned the hard way that the nice ones will be taken advantage off because management doesn't want to deal with the squeaky wheels. Sad but true!!

DON'T FEEL GUILTY! You deserve the time off!!

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1CRAZYDOG 4/24/2012 7:55PM

    Well, here's my take on it. For sure, as Sheryl mentioned, it is possible there are reasons, whatever they are, the the mgmnt. is not assigning the interns weekend hours. I honestly can't sit here and say I KNOW what they are, but just a consideration.

On the other hand, maybe it is time to make your exit from the Wellness Ctr. When do you graduate?? I know you said it is in May, so hang in there till then! Once you graduate you will have more time for YOU. But I have to say, for me, it didn't mean weekend off because I had to work the hours needed, including weekends and holidays. So, that situation could come up even after you graduate. Just something to think about as well.

Sounds like your manager is using the ol' power, but don't allow yourself to feel gult! You have nothing to feel guilty about. Period. Easier said than done, I know, but it is something I had to work on as well.

HUGS my dear and I hope things get a little easier, but hang in there! You're almost through April and you graduate in May.

HUGS!
Barb

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SHERYLDS 4/24/2012 3:41PM

    As someone who has worked on jobs that required me to be 'on call' and getting a call every other night....I hear your pain. Guilt is an effective management tool.....just stand up for your needs and be willing to compromise on the less critical points. Don't know what the staffing situation is ...but...sometimes management doesn't consider that interns can handle 'all' situations and if weekends are extra busy, management may be trying to staff with more responsible people who can handle anything.....So just saying....sometimes there is a reason.
maybe .... maybe not.

At any rate...I'm thinking they consider you someone they trust.



Comment edited on: 4/24/2012 3:42:21 PM

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WENDYSPARKS 4/24/2012 3:33PM

    emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 4/24/2012 2:23PM

    emoticon

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KKINNEA 4/24/2012 2:01PM

    You're right, that is far less than ideal. I hope your boss gets the message about the interns soon!

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MYLADY4 4/24/2012 1:44PM

    Yep, make the intern do it and yes, I think you are ready. I have never lived in the dorms but I think it would drive me NUTS.

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GETFIT2LIVE 4/24/2012 1:04PM

    The interns, of all people, should be required to work weekends. That's just nuts that she tries to make you feel guilty for wanting some weekends off! Most places rotate everyone to get at least some weekends off or make the schedule based on seniority. Hang in there and stand firm; you NEED those weekends off!

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BAILEYS7OF9 4/24/2012 12:52PM

    Don't let her make you feel guilty! Point out that the interns should work weekends too.

Going up stairs to make breakfast really isn't a bad thing. I have to go down stairs to make mine!

Comment edited on: 4/24/2012 12:53:07 PM

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First 17-Miler Recap

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Yesterday, I decided I would train for Grandma's Marathon with an open heart and mind. I was even excited for today's long run. Imagine my excitement, though, when I looked outside and saw it was half snowing, half raining. I looked at the forecast. By jolly, light rain all day.

Right there and than, I decided I had a choice. Either I can run, make the best of it or not train for Grandma's Marathon. I need to start running longer than 13.1 miles.

I decided to run. And, boy, did I ever?

I ended up with 17.45 in 4 hours and 10 minutes. When I set out, my route that I tracked yesterday online was 16.05. Apparently, when I ran it, it was a mile and half longer. So, I went from 13.1 to 17.45. That is a big jump. One is supposed to ONLY increase 10%, that is one rule I always follow, to not get an injury. So, at best, I should have done a 15-miler. By planning on 16 miles, I figured what's one more mile. Well, I found out how it feels to add 20% of your mileage when I did more than 17.

In summary, my front part of my leg - half way between my shin and ankle - is super sore. I have been putting it in an ice bath - off and on - for the last couple hours. It is pretty inflamed. It hurts to move forward with it. I cannot bring my toes up towards the sky. No dice. So, hoping the ice bath/elevation will help. Yes, I am doing RICE. Maybe before I go to bed, I will take some ibuprofen but trying to let my body heal naturally.

On the upside, I am feeling pretty good about Grandma's Marathon. After today, I think I have three super longer runs - runs longer than 12 miles. One is next weekend, one over my cousin's wedding (still figuring out how to deal with that one) and one over Memorial Day weekend. I feel with breaking the 13.1 barrier, I can do this. It was ALOT easier than I expected. Sure, there were times that I didn't run. Than, I took a Gu. They are like magic, hehe!

After today's hard work on the road, I figured I earned some guilt-free pleasures so I made homemade pizza (crust from the Sparkpeople Cookbook) than had a glass of wine. I can feel myself crashing pretty hard so I will probably go to bed shortly. Hopefully, I will make it to 8 pm. Tomorrow, I work 9-5 pm.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CASSCAMP 4/24/2012 11:55PM

    Great job girl!!!

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CH0718 4/23/2012 8:37AM

    Sounds like you are recovering smart! Take care of yourself!

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PATRICIAANN46 4/22/2012 9:41PM

  Hi Savannah.........
What a great run!!! emoticon
Now you have to pamper yourself and get lots of rest tonight.
Don't overdo.........

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MYLADY4 4/22/2012 12:47PM

    AWESOME!!!!!!!

Now you need to take it a bit easy and let that leg heal a bit.

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NATPLUMMER 4/22/2012 11:05AM

    Oooohhh..that is a big jump. I hope your leg is okay. emoticon

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YDAVIS23 4/22/2012 7:28AM

    WHAT?!!! Ok... I'll just run 17 miles today. CRAZY and AMAZING! Take care of those legs though - no injuries!

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EJOY-EVELYN 4/22/2012 12:34AM

    What a great day! Sounds like you're taking good care of yourself -- love the RICE!

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WOMANOBRONZE 4/21/2012 10:02PM

    All right!!!

Girl, You are DOING IT!!!

emoticon

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OPTIMIST1948 4/21/2012 9:33PM

    Talk about breaking through the barrier! Nice work!

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1CRAZYDOG 4/21/2012 9:02PM

    You definitely earned a good supper!

Keep up the good work. You are really approaching it the right way . . . taking it as it comes, still training, but not being obsessive about it.

Have a good Sunday, my dear!

HUGS!
Barb

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JTAYLOR2011 4/21/2012 9:00PM

    Inspiring... Thank you for sharing. Tomorrow and in 2 weeks I run half marathons. I am really looking forward to training for my Oct 7th Marathon!

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New Rule Book

Friday, April 20, 2012

Ever since I decided to not run Grandma's Marathon, I have been seriously in the dumps and lost due to lack of a goal to work toward.

After weeks of him-hawing, I think I am going to go for it. What do I have to lose? Basically, I decided to train for it and decide closer to the date if I am going to run. I mean I already paid and cannot get the money back. I might as well.

I even have been able to come up with 26.2 reasons to run! In the next couple months, I hope to blog about each reason. Hopefully, it will help me keep focused on WHY I am doing this!

1. To prove to myself that I CAN do it
2. To get one step closer to Boston's Marathon
3. To inspire others that you can do anything you put your mind to
4. Last puzzle piece of my journey
5. Because this is my year to celebrate my health
6. Because I can!
7. To push myself - physically, mentally and emotionally
8. To be considered a marathoner
9. To be proud of me
10. Because I have the time
11. You cannot count on the future
12. To be the example for the family
13. To try something new, something scary
14. To be part of an elite group
15. To stick to a goal and achieve it
16. To make good of a promise to myself
17. To add to my self worth
18. TO believe in ME
19. To learn my core values
20. To earn glory
21. To get a tattoo (hehe)
22. For my future family
23. Cross something off my bucket list
24. Everyone else is doing it
25. To be in best shape of my life
26.2 Become a stronger runner, person

27. Raise money for a good cause

So, here we go again.

But, this time I am changing the rule book. I am training according to MY rules from this point out!

1. Have FUN! Enjoy reaching longer distances, different distances. Enjoy trying new recipes. Enjoy lifting three times a week.

2. Track calories. My tracker is going to be set so I can maintain. Anyhow know how to do this? This way I can maintain my weight and hopefully not gain.

3. Start eating recovery snacks. This means eating something after I run or workout. My plans are a banana and cheese or chocolate milk. Chocolate milk might be a good way to get my daily chocolate fix!

4. Weigh in once a week! I am wondering if I should even weigh in that much!

5. Listen to your body. If it says I am tired or this isn't fun, stop. If it says, I need more food because I am tired, eat more! If it says rest, well, rest.

Rules that are getting thrown out.

1. Eat 55% of carbs. This is getting thrown out because MY body doesn't like me when I do this. I get super nauseous, dizzy, and tired.

That might be the only one. It was really stressing me. Pretty much I am trying to take all the stress out.

So, I am back into training (casually)! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHRINKINRUNNER 4/21/2012 12:38PM

    YOUR # 1 reason is my EXACT and ONLY reason I am doing mine in November. JUST to prove to MYSELF I can. My mind is the WORST enemy for me. So I am SHUTTING it up.

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NATPLUMMER 4/21/2012 10:58AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MYLADY4 4/21/2012 8:42AM

    GO FOR IT GIRLE!!!!! You can do it.

Is you tat going to be maybe a 26.2????

I am so with you on the carbs, no real reason to eat that many exept the day before. I will be posting some info that I found on a blog the other day about carb loading. I am doing Paleo for the athlete and it seems to be working for me.

Listening to you body is key and don't let you mind over rule you body.

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EMFRAPPIER 4/21/2012 6:00AM

    I love your list and can totally relate about the 55% carbs. I had to stop doing that, too. They make me feel awful. Doing it for fun is the way to go! emoticon

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GETFIT2LIVE 4/21/2012 2:14AM

    I LOVE your list and your new rules! This is your journey, so why not train in a way that fits you, your body, and your life? Way to go--you never know how far you go until you give it your best shot.

emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 4/21/2012 12:45AM

    I agree . . . like 26.2 also!

So . . . another tat in the future too! Good for you!

You are a very strong, determined young woman. Go for it!! Like the mugs on your page advise . . . trust your journey!!

As for the carbs, you're definitely wise to listen to your body. I remember how long you went through feeling cruddy!!! The nausea, etc.

HUGS!
Barb

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EJOY-EVELYN 4/20/2012 11:08PM

    You are beautiful, Savannah, regardless of whether you run or not. You are wonderfully and fearfully made. If the only person you let down is you, may you have the strength and wisdom to forgive yourself quickly and move on. May you contine to do the right thing and be kind (act justly, love mercy and walk humbly. Micah 6:8). May you also find great joy throughout your journey.

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PATRICIAANN46 4/20/2012 10:43PM

  Hi Savannah.........
Since the plan is one made by YOU.........it is bound to work. I also like that you consider it a working plan. If what you are doing is working......keep it in the plan.......if not, get rid of it.
I wish you the BEST.......as always. emoticon

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OPTIMIST1948 4/20/2012 10:24PM

    Remember you stand as much of a chance of being first as you do as being last. Since being first is bloody unlikely (sorry, I hope that wasnt a crushing blow) and you're not likely to be last, then why not do it for the fun of it. Ok, some people (me) might look at you a little funny when you say "I ran a marathon for fun" but I think its a vital part of the journey to know what you are working FOR (goal) not just Health or Weight Loss. That's too amorphous.

I like the 26.2 list!

PS. I had Chocolate Milk after my workout today and thought of you!

Comment edited on: 4/20/2012 10:34:55 PM

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