THECRAZYMANGO   31,834
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Down Day

Monday, March 05, 2012

When I was a teenager, I read alot. I got so good at reading smut that I could read a novel in a day or two. Now that I am older, I realize it is my way of trying to hide from my emotions. I do it with shopping, watching movies and emotional eating.

Yesterday I watched movies all evening while working on homework. Today I tried doing some cardio before my personal training session. (By the way, according to my new PT, I have strong shoulders! So glad I switched!)

After working out, I still was feeling kinda down. Sometimes shopping makes me feel better. So, I went shopping. I love my new mini-skirt (my first) and heels! But, they didn't make everything all better. I read pretty much all evening to hide from feeling lonely. I am assuming that I am hiding from other emotions but I haven't delved into it.

More and more, I am pondering if I should go back to counseling. *sigh*

Nevertheless, it is hard to ignore how far I have come...

From lost and unhappy...


...to sexy and confident!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XRSIZE18 3/7/2012 4:51AM

    You are looking Superfantastic! :)

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PATRICIAANN46 3/6/2012 10:06PM

  Hi Savannah..........
You look emoticon!!!!!!
But.........as I am sure you have read or heard, after losing all of the weight........some people still have problems with depression and low self-esteem. It seems like if the weight is gone, all of our problems should melt away with the pounds. But that is not the case. We need to deal with the issues that caused us to eat and gain weight in the first place, or we may repeat history.
If it were me.........I would go back to the counselor and get all of the guidance and expertise she/he has to offer. None of us has all of the answers........that is why we go to the professionals. If there is help there, why not seek it......
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Patti

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WOLFSPIRITMOM 3/6/2012 1:09PM

    Wow, you look great! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 3/6/2012 12:54PM

    OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG . . . ok that about covers it. You look better and better with each new picture you post. You should be megaproud of yourself!!!!

If you think you'd benefit from more time with your therapist, by all means . . . DO IT! What can it hurt? You know, we are not meant to handle everything ourselves, so use all the helping tools you have at your disposal. That's a sign of strength for sure.

HUGS! You're doing good!!

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ERIKA05 3/6/2012 11:38AM

    That's definitely a "Damn, girl!" outfit. You look great! But even better, you're the long distance runner, the girl with strong shoulders, the girl who tries to fit in extra cardio before her personal training session. If you're also a girl who hibernates with a book and some movies every now and then, well that's okay too - I think everyone does this to some extent, especially when there is so. much. snow.
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You know yourself best and if you feel like it might be helpful to talk to someone, you should trust your own instincts. Do what'll let you live your own awesomeness!
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KKINNEA 3/6/2012 10:43AM

    Great outfit! If you think you should go back and talk to someone, you should do so - you want to feel your best!

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NATPLUMMER 3/6/2012 9:28AM

    Definitely sexy!! Love the outfit!!
Good for you for not doing the eating part...that is my biggest downfall.

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WOMANOBRONZE 3/5/2012 11:27PM

    Yeah, you need some place to go show off that skirt...and your legs!!

Grab a couple of GFs and hang out somewhere (with a diet coke or soda water) where it's fun to people watch.

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EJOY-EVELYN 3/5/2012 10:47PM

    You've come a long way . . . what an incredible journey to health, sexy, and confident. Do whatever it takes, in the name of good health, to get your mindset wrapped around what it means to live the healthy lifestyle.

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It's still snowing...

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Okay, I can only avoid this for so long. I have gained weight. Everything is telling me so. The scale. The measuring tape. My clothes. Before I gave up the scale for Lent, my weight was sitting right around the 160 mark. Everyone says that you cannot lose weight during training. Maybe so. But, I can tone up! That's the plan anyhow!

By the way, it's still snowing here...

This is my car last night after working for 6 hours...



..than I forgot my boots at work last night. This means I get to plow through the snow in my running shoes to the gym for my long run on the dreadmill!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 3/4/2012 9:11PM

  Hi Savannah........
It snowed here all day today, but it was very light. It is supposed to be in the 50s on both Tuesday and Wednesday, so it won't be here for long. I had a Cavalier for 3 years and it was WONDERFUL in snow. The little bugger plowed through everything which was good, as the roads I took to work were horrible!!!
Take care and have a great week.
Patti

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WOMANOBRONZE 3/4/2012 5:24PM

    Well, shoveling snow is great exercise, too...

Old plastic grocery sacks are great for tying over your running shoes with twine to keep snow and rain out when driving back and forth to the gym.

Just be extra careful not to slip!

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NATPLUMMER 3/4/2012 3:42PM

    You can totally tone up!!
Yikes!! That's quite the snow. I'm glad it didn't do that much while I was in Chicago.
Have a good run.

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SHERYLDS 3/4/2012 2:02PM

    RUN Savannah RUN

[ and keep the snow over there please ]

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1CRAZYDOG 3/4/2012 1:33PM

    Yikes . . . you've had your share os S-N-O-W. Still snowing here, too, but just very light right now. MAYBE got another inch out of it.

Stay warm and hope you get your boots back quick!

HUGS!
Barb

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CINERICIA 3/4/2012 1:14PM

    Oh my. It looks like my car yesterday. My husband decided (and thank goodness) that his exercise for the day would be shoveling the drive 3 times in the span of 6 hours. Almost a foot of snow throughout the day. Boo.

I'm sorry you're feeling a gain. But, as you said, you are training. You're body is going to need some extra TLC in the food department to compensate for all the go, go, go of pre-marathon goodness. And toning sounds like an excellent compromise to work toward all your goals. Love the attitude.

I'm sending you some warm, sunny vibes. I think we could all use a little spring right now.

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My Parents

Saturday, March 03, 2012

We've all been there. Someone telling you in one form or another, you cannot do this. For some reason, my parents are that in my life.

Before I joined Sparkpeople, I attempted weight loss. Honestly, I feel I never succeeded because my mom has always been there saying things like, "Do you think you should do that?" It seems like I am always being questioned on my decisions.

Eventually, I joined Sparkpeople. Every step of the way strangers at first but now close friends cheered me along the way. They believed in me when I was raised not to believe in myself. I kept my weight loss very separate from them. Any goal I tell them they tear down and instill disbelief in myself.

When I ran my first half marathon, they were never there and it hurt. They made excuses. In the end, they can never go back to that moment in time and get it back.

Now, I am training for my first full marathon. It IS a big deal. I am a big deal. Everyday I talk to my parents, my dad tells me I need to run x-amount of miles. My mom tells me she is concerned about me not being able to run the full marathon. Let me worry about that.

Since the start of training, I have been struggling with food. I tend to eat rather than deal with my emotions. Now that I am crying..

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOMANOBRONZE 3/4/2012 12:24PM

    I really needed to see your blog today. I got in a heated argument with my Mom just last night over something similar that I'm having trouble letting go of.

In the past, she's told me not to run because it might hurt my uterus. Last year, she forbid me to take kayaking lessons because she thought I'd get hurt. Then last night, after telling her I was seeing a trainer once a month who was teaching me high intensity drills, she told me that she didn't think it was a good idea for someone my age (47) to working out that hard. "It's okay for kids to run all out, but not adults approaching 50..." I think were her words.

Now, she's just worried about me, and at the age of 79, belongs to the old school of believing in her heart, that as you age, slowing down is intrinsic to taking care of yourself. And that her criticisms are just her love coming out in an entirely honest fashion.

But while I know that at a mental level, at an emotional level, I'm still hearing, "You can't do that because you're a girl and might get hurt. Now sit still."

Arrgghh! So frustrating. I wish I knew of an easy way to drop this mental chatter, give my Mom a big hug & kiss, then let go of it all.

Hey - thanks for letting ME unload!!! I hope soon that your parents give you the words you want to hear. As much as we love running, it is hard work, and any negativity from those whose opinion is important to us can be crushing.

Keep of the good work getting ready for your marathon!!

P.S. I ran/walked a marathon in 2009 and my uterus didn't fall out. I don't know what was the better adventure - doing the marathon (Portland!) or doing the 15 - 26 mile training sessions leading up to it. Those four months of increasing your long day miles to levels almost beyond comprehension are memories you will treasure forever.

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NATPLUMMER 3/4/2012 11:19AM

    emoticon


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1CRAZYDOG 3/4/2012 9:31AM

    I think the overwheliming msg. is that you're doing it for yourself. While it is DEFINITELY too bad that your parents aren't supportive (your Mom anyway) the bottom line is that you DEFINITELY have support here. So, hard as it is, we have to filter out the negative stuff and realize we have the power to do (oir not) what it is we want to do (or not). THAT'S empowerment . . . taking our power and keeping it. You, my dear, have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can do what you make up your mind to do. THAT'S power.

That said, your parents do love you, and as has been said, people show their love in all kinds of ways. And it's not always understandable to us.

HUGS! Keep on the path your on.

Barb

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STITCHERFRIEND 3/4/2012 7:43AM

    Parents show love is lots of ways. It's their way to say that they love you and care for you. Is it helpful? Nope! But sometimes it's what parents do. Probably because their parents showed them concern for anything challenging that they attempted. Trust yourself! Trust your training. Even if they were there at the race it really doesn't change anything. It's all about you and celebrating what you accomplished. When you get back home they will say "I knew you could do it, we are so proud of you". It's what parents do. Put their voices out of your head and breathe. You got this!

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RHONDALYN10 3/4/2012 7:26AM

    Oh my, I completely relate....are you sure we are not sisters?

The best thing you can do is accept that this is their decisions and they are the ones that will have to live with them. Continue to be the best you can be, the healthiest, and go tackle that Marathon! It IS a BIG deal and you will have that moment forever!

Hugs!

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GETFIT2LIVE 3/3/2012 11:42PM

    I'm so, so sorry that your parent are not supportive of you and what you're doing. I did not tell too many people what I was doing with losing weight and running until I had already accomplished some things because I knew that some would sow doubt that I didn't need--I had enough of my own without anyone else feeding them. You have accomplished so much; don't let them or anyone else tear you down, make you stop believing in yourself, or keep you from doing what you need to for yourself.

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HDHAWK 3/3/2012 11:09PM

    Remember at the end of the day you are running for you and no one else. They can support you or not, but you have to do the work. You have lots of support here. I'm proud of anyone who can run a marathon!

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ON2VICTORY 3/3/2012 10:22PM

    Oh CM, it really hurts to not have the approval or support that you need from the people closest to you. I know a little of what you are talking about. My immediate family is supportive but my friends and such were not really hostile but they didnt get on board either although they were full of opinions about my condition. Now that I am really making progress, I kept many of them at a distance because they have not earned the right to tell me their opinions about what I am doing....

Its too bad this is closer to you than friend level.

It is only after over 4 years of hard work that i have finally started to get some public acknowledgement after alot of very public "concern" about my weight.

Do what you can hon to stay focused on taking care of you. It is hard when you have all of that upbringing and programming to try to work through. Its hard and I know that nothing would mean more to you than to hear a "well done".

I also know that there is alot of pressure on you right now with self doubt because Im sure it must nag you about what if you have a problem on the course and they are proven right even though you and I both know that bad things happen out on the course that have nothing to do with your level of dedication and training.

Always remember that if something were to happen, heaven forbid, it does in NO WAY, negate your fantastic weight loss, your education or your certification.


(((HUGS))
)

Comment edited on: 3/3/2012 10:22:40 PM

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Trip to the Running Store

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Many of my sparkfriends stopped by my page yesterday to share that they saw where I live on their local news in other parts of the country. Thought I'd share some photos of the area on the way to getting my first box of Gu!

On my way, at a stop light...


A local running store...


My first box of Gu...


Now that I buy Gu by the box, does this mean I am an endurance runner! I think so!

This morning I ran 3 miles, and lifted. Because I needed a total of 5 miles, I went back later for the rest. Before hand, I took a Gu packet. Boy, could I feel when that energy hit the system. I am pretty slow runner. When I run on the treadmill, my pace is around 4.0-4.5, sometimes over 5.0. Today, with my Gu packet, I rocketed up to 7.0! emoticon So excited!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABSOLUTZER0 3/3/2012 12:53AM

    I take it the Expresso Love is your favorite flavor? Who goes out and buys a box? Oh, I know! Crazy...I mean endurance runners!

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PATRICIAANN46 3/2/2012 8:39PM

  Hi Savannah.........
What is in GU and when do you take it? I am assuming there is a correct way to use it to help you to do your best throughout your run. Is it something that you practice using during your preparation to know when it is most helpful. Now you have to 'Teach' the 'Teacher.'
You got a lot more snow than we did. Ken just plowed our driveway and it is still snowing but should end soon. Tuesday it is supposed to be in the 50s, so the snow won't last long. We have really had a mild winter.
Have a good weekend.
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Patti

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TYKXBOY 3/2/2012 12:58PM

    You were an endurance runner before the GU box. The box just makes it more obvious. :)

Hope you stay warm and dry!
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KKINNEA 3/2/2012 11:39AM

    I bought a box of peppermint GU back around the holidays and felt like a beast :) I'll have to check out the Duluth Running when I'm up there - I like a good running store.

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1CRAZYDOG 3/2/2012 10:21AM

    Wow, you are impressive! Looks like you've got the hang of how to eat the Gu!

Snow . . . well, right now unbelievably we have NOTHING on the ground, but are in line for five to nine inches today. UGH! And it's supposed to start out as rain, so it'll be the heavy, wet stuff. UGH Guess I know what MY cardio will be today.

Hope you have a spectacular Friday. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!

Barb

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LAURIE5658 3/2/2012 10:02AM

    When you just know what Gu is for and how to use it makes you an endurance runner. You go!

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MYLADY4 3/2/2012 9:56AM

    Hmmm, might have to look for some of those to try.

Yep, you really got dumped on up there. But soon it will be spring, hey!!!!!!!

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NATPLUMMER 3/2/2012 8:41AM

    Looks that that outside here, too.
I love the taste of the espresso Gu but not the texture.

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MIRAGE727 3/2/2012 8:04AM

    Hardcore!
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So, THAT's what snow looks like! It's been a while...I live by the beach!
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All the best on future runs and thanks for sharing!


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JTAYLOR2011 3/2/2012 5:12AM

    I need to purchase energy gels too! Two hours into my last long wrong the hunger pangs were too much...

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GETFIT2LIVE 3/2/2012 2:23AM

    Yes, you are an endurance runner when you have to buy Gu by the box. But then, I knew you were an endurance runner even before!

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Those are some serious piles of snow there; glad it didn't stop you from getting out and doing what you need to. Nice job on getting those miles in--and on the pace!

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Trying a new avenue of blogging...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I am addicted to blogging on Sparkpeople. On here, it is easy. You write. You get responses. It's harder out there. It's feels so empty.

Anyhow, I decided I am going to try to record my training for Grandma's Marathon on a different blog, outside of Sparkpeople. This way I can look back my journey.

To be honest, I will probably still write here because, well, you are my buddies. If you are interested in following my blog outside of here... this is my link.

thecrazymangosrunningadventures.blog
spot.com/

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATPLUMMER 3/1/2012 9:26PM

    I'll bookmark your outside blog, my friend.

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PATRICIAANN46 3/1/2012 8:39PM

  Hi Savannah..........
Changing things up now and then keeps it fresh. I will keep track of you where ever you are.
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Patti

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BAILEYS7OF9 3/1/2012 2:00PM

    glad you are still going to post here.. I have so many places to look I'd hate to miss your updates! emoticon

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KKINNEA 3/1/2012 12:55PM

    Nice, I'll take a look from home so I can follow along!

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1CRAZYDOG 3/1/2012 11:56AM

    New day, fresh start . . . good idea!

HUGS!
Barb

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