Tuesday, February 07, 2012
In recent months, I have encountered a handful of women, some my friends, that seem to put high value on what guys think about them.
More specifically, I have had a conversation with a friend. She made a comment that as long as my boyfriend is happy with me. I asked her, "What about you? Are you happy with yourself?" She avoided the answer.
This is not just one girl either. I have heard it over and over. Why can't us women like us because we are awesome? Why do we need a man to build ourselves up? Isn't that setting ourselves up for failure?
After that conversation with my friend, I walked away appreciating that I don't need a guy to make me happy with me. It helped me realize I am happy with me. I may not be perfect but for the most part I am pretty darn happy with me.
It also helped me appreciate the guy in my life. He isn't my boyfriend but he's more of than just a friend. That is a long story for another time. Anyhow, I appreciate how much he likes me no matter what size I am. He just wants me to be happy with me. As he explains it, when I am proud of me and feeling good about me, I have a twinkle in my eye. It is when I gain weight is when I lose the twinkle. He doesn't care if I gain weight but does care about my happiness. In fact, the other night we hung out and I mentioned maybe I shouldn't care about gaining weight back and that is when we had this conversation.
Anyhow, my point is, women, be happy with yourself! You are amazing. Now, repeat those words.
Now believe it. Because you are!
Now, do something today that makes you feel like a rock star. For me, it's running. For others, it's lifting a new weight in the weight room. Or maybe it is trying something new.
Whatever makes YOU feel like a rockstar, do it!
Monday, February 06, 2012
Besides having a headache and feeling emotional drained, I am actually doing much better.
Today I saw my counselor and she helped me make the final decision. I gotta fire my trainer and friend. Too bad it's easier to fire him as a trainer than my friend. I am talking to my boss on Wednesday about it. Hopefully, I can get a different trainer. Otherwise, I will request the rest of my money back for the unused sessions. The professional boundaries are just not there like they should be.
Besides making that decision, I talked to someone on campus today and asked if they are looking for a personal trainer. My timing was perfect! They are! I am to think about it for a day or so, but really I have already made up my mind. Also, a few campus friends have asked me to train them. So, I will set that up with the school and train away. Also, she said I could teach Group X classes so that could be fun!
Things are really coming together! Tomorrow I have someone look over my internship statement and help me with my internship applications.
Thanks everyone for your support! I have read them all. When I feel better, hopefully tomorrow, I will be replying individually.
Sunday, February 05, 2012
I sit hugging a BIG bag of pretzels, eating them one by one. I have a problem. In the last few weeks, I seem to have no self control. Nothing seems to help either. I just don't have the motivation anymore. In the last month, I went from 155 to 161, slowly creeping up. This is how it starts. I hired a personal trainer in attempt to help me. But, he's my friend and I feel he doesn't treat me like a real client. Honestly, I've tried tracking again but I just don't have the determination nor the commitment for that. I have noticed it is when I am CRAZY hungry. I just eat and eat and eat. If it's not that, I tell myself, it's stress. Than, I say, it's for training. This overeating business NEEDS to stop NOW!
Saturday, February 04, 2012
Long time ago, I dared to dream. I started to believe in me and thought, "Maybe.. I could lose weight" which later turned into "Maybe.. I could run a 5K" and now it's "Maybe I could run a marathon."
My most recent accomplishment is becoming a certified ACE personal trainer. Yup, that happened today. I took the test today and passed!
Before I took the test, I wasn't sure if I was more afraid to fail the test or to pass it. Now that I have passed it, I need to figure out if I want to train people. Everyone is like, 'You'd be such a great trainer.' Just because I can motivate myself does NOT mean I can do it for others. Also, if they are paying $40 for me to train them, I better be worth it. This means getting results!
Why did I take it than? I needed to take it to finish up one of Fall semester courses. I needed to take it in order to be able to take a different certification. Also, other positions I am interested in require it even through you don't use it.
So, if you have that dream that you wonder if it could it be possible... answer... YES!!! You CAN make it happen with some hard work and determination!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sometimes my runs are hard because of something is weighing on my mind. Today during my 2 mile run, I thought about a conversation I may have to initiate if things continue as they are. Let me explain.
Right now, I am training with a friend. During our first session, I made the comment about how I have swimmer's shoulders. Okay, maybe they aren't perfectly sculpted like a swimmer but I am very proud of them. Immediately, my 'friend' said you don't have swimmer shoulders. And, continued with, 'I would like your shoulders be like this.' This really hurt.
Yes, I want to improve my body but this does NOT give him permission to pick apart my body. Today is our second session. Honestly, I am not looking forward to it. If he starts to insult me, I may have to tell him that is not allowed. If he feels it is part of training, maybe I should find a new trainer (and friend).
Those were two of the hardest miles I have done. Hoping to leave that stress behind very soon!
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