Sunday, February 05, 2012
I sit hugging a BIG bag of pretzels, eating them one by one. I have a problem. In the last few weeks, I seem to have no self control. Nothing seems to help either. I just don't have the motivation anymore. In the last month, I went from 155 to 161, slowly creeping up. This is how it starts. I hired a personal trainer in attempt to help me. But, he's my friend and I feel he doesn't treat me like a real client. Honestly, I've tried tracking again but I just don't have the determination nor the commitment for that. I have noticed it is when I am CRAZY hungry. I just eat and eat and eat. If it's not that, I tell myself, it's stress. Than, I say, it's for training. This overeating business NEEDS to stop NOW!
Saturday, February 04, 2012
Long time ago, I dared to dream. I started to believe in me and thought, "Maybe.. I could lose weight" which later turned into "Maybe.. I could run a 5K" and now it's "Maybe I could run a marathon."
My most recent accomplishment is becoming a certified ACE personal trainer. Yup, that happened today. I took the test today and passed!
Before I took the test, I wasn't sure if I was more afraid to fail the test or to pass it. Now that I have passed it, I need to figure out if I want to train people. Everyone is like, 'You'd be such a great trainer.' Just because I can motivate myself does NOT mean I can do it for others. Also, if they are paying $40 for me to train them, I better be worth it. This means getting results!
Why did I take it than? I needed to take it to finish up one of Fall semester courses. I needed to take it in order to be able to take a different certification. Also, other positions I am interested in require it even through you don't use it.
So, if you have that dream that you wonder if it could it be possible... answer... YES!!! You CAN make it happen with some hard work and determination!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sometimes my runs are hard because of something is weighing on my mind. Today during my 2 mile run, I thought about a conversation I may have to initiate if things continue as they are. Let me explain.
Right now, I am training with a friend. During our first session, I made the comment about how I have swimmer's shoulders. Okay, maybe they aren't perfectly sculpted like a swimmer but I am very proud of them. Immediately, my 'friend' said you don't have swimmer shoulders. And, continued with, 'I would like your shoulders be like this.' This really hurt.
Yes, I want to improve my body but this does NOT give him permission to pick apart my body. Today is our second session. Honestly, I am not looking forward to it. If he starts to insult me, I may have to tell him that is not allowed. If he feels it is part of training, maybe I should find a new trainer (and friend).
Those were two of the hardest miles I have done. Hoping to leave that stress behind very soon!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
No matter what my calorie budget (range) is set at, I seem to have to overspend my amount. Like I HAVE to spend it. Apparently, the calories in my mind do not rollover to the next day.
Does anyone have this problem? Where they MUST spend ALL calories?
Sadly, it resembles my checking account. Maybe if I could get a handle on the calories, it could carry over to my checkbook!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Today I am proud.
I went to Muscle Pump, a group exercise class that intimidates me. Also, I hate doing something for the first time alone. But, today, I did!
For the class itself, I probably won't be back. There were a handful of exercises I couldn't do and it drives me nuts when the instructor doesn't give ways to modify. My core is rather weak and I simply cannot do side planks or anything really on the ball.
I wish I could find a group exercise strength training class that I LOVE. But, time after time, I feel disappointed in myself because I cannot do those exercises. I did love kettle bells - maybe I should look into those again.
I did hire a trainer at the Y. Before I could talk to my boss, who assigns the trainers, I was 'given' to my friend who I didn't really want to get trained by. Lately, it's ALL about me and he simply never asks about me. As a client, I don't want to deal with that. Putting personal feelings aside, he is a good trainer and I hope in the next 12 weeks, 1 session/week, that I can really get stronger. I think I am aiming for 2 strength training sessions.
The hopeful part of me wishes I could lose 2# a week and get into the 140s. But, the realistic part of me knows that's not possible. My motivation to do that is not there. As part of my marathon training and to get my eating back on track, I started to track my food again today. Blah.
One way or another I AM getting stronger!
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