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Guilty?! Yep, that is how I feel!

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Last night, my ex helped me realize I feel guilty. I feel guilty about getting healthier, mentally and physically, because it means I left my friends and family behind.

But, did I? Not really. I made a choice to change, to better me. They could have made the same choice. Some members of my family are deciding to get healthy.. and I am very proud of them.

But, yet I feel guilty for the ones I left behind. I think this is why I sometimes let myself eat "bad" with them.

Anyone know how to get over this guilt?

Besides that, I found a new love! Spinning! Love it! It sure does make me sore. Yesterday, I was crabby and took it out on the spin bike. Boy, my legs are sore today! I might go for a swim later to give them a break. Lately, it seems like all I do is spin and run, lol. It has been just so nice out!

This, also, means I am slacking in my October goal of doing 60 miles on that pink emoticon. Do you know what this means? Time for me to readjust the goal. I am going to change it to using it at least once a week... to get me started.. readjust from there!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 10/7/2011 10:48PM

    You are a role model. Never, ever feel guilty about that! Sounds like you "spun" your little heart out yesterday. Good for you!

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EJOY-EVELYN 10/7/2011 5:26PM

    It's not just your family . . . this country we live in has a major obesity problem. So if we ever decide to "go with the flow" we are destined to fail. We have to remain strong to the healthy living we have come to believe is the example we have to share with the world. Let us not be an example of sloppy living! Pray that this leaves us even more charged to stay the course, having made the wonderful journey we've made with such great diligence to good and healthy principles. Continue to be that great role model you've begun . . . as your body will ultimately say "thank you" many time over. Smile, smile!

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CIVIAV 10/7/2011 2:07PM

    All the activity is mileage in a way and sounds so much more enjoyable...

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HDHAWK 10/6/2011 7:18PM

    You're doing this for better health. It's their choice to come along or not. If they don't, it doesn't mean you can't be friends with them if they want to.

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BNSUHAS 10/6/2011 5:47PM

    A healthier lifestyle does change the dynamic.. when our loved ones get used to us being a certain way and we change, there are growing pains to say the least. I think the guilt is normal. Just give it some time... these things have a way of stabilizing. The ones that matter will not make you feel guilty but will be supportive.

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VPOPPY01 10/6/2011 5:16PM

    Yay! I'm so glad you're getting into spinning! I am too! Next week I can't get to my afternoon classes so I'm just going to switch it up and go to some early morning spinning classes.

It's hard when it seems your changing and everyone else is staying the same. That's pretty much how my life is at home right now. But what I've found to be helpful is just gradually switch from eating not-so-healthy foods with them to eating more healthy foods when you're around them. Point and case. My fam loves grill outs, Brats Hamburgers, the works. Eventually what I did to not feel so left out was I just asked my dad to grill up some chicken that I had marinating and then when it was done I chopped it up and put it on a salad. I still ate with them, I still had something on the grill, but it wasn't packed with carbs and fat like a brat would. Hope that helps!

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JENN26POINT2 10/6/2011 3:33PM

    I feel that same exact way when I think about doing this and not having my husband on board. It's like I'm leaving him in "poor-health-ville" because he chose not to come with me to "health-ville". It's sad but I'm hoping that, like with your family, he'll start down the road behind me and try to catch up. :)

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ARCHIMEDESII 10/6/2011 3:15PM

    Why did you leave some of your friends and family behind ?

a friend is a friend through thick or thin. Pardon the pun. Just because you made a change does it mean you had to give up your friends who didn't make a change. Put yourself in their shoes. because quite honestly, you were in their shoes not that long ago. How many times were we told we needed to do something about our health before we decided it was time to change.

Just because they haven't made that leap of faith yet does it mean they are any less your friend. I appreciate that the "studies" say that our friends influence our choices, but think of what a good influence you'd be on them. They see you becoming healthier and they might not be so frightened about making the change too.

If you want to get over the guilt, go back and restart those friendships. You can socialize with friends and family without eating junk. And even if they want to eat the treats does it mean you have to eat them too. You could eat them in moderation or you could politely say,"no, thank you". No guilt necessary.

Good friends (and family) are precious.


Comment edited on: 10/6/2011 3:23:26 PM

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VISUALLYRICS 10/6/2011 3:07PM

    What a brilliant choice - to run to fitness and work out that stress....or crabby feeling! emoticon I learned to do that too - it Works! emoticon
I can relate to your relatives dilemma - there are still some who look for me to eat an entire piece of Everything they make!! I'd be sick if I did...esp around the holidays. Now I might enjoy a lick of something my mom is cooking - knowing a serving wouldn't be in my best interest. She has come to respect my lifestyle and she has gone so for as to ask for advice.... she LOVES sweets!

Keep being True to yourself - that is Peace ~ Laura

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GETFIT2LIVE 10/6/2011 3:02PM

    It's tough sometimes to ditch the guilt, but it's really a matter of choosing to love yourself enough to do what's good for you, whether any of the people in your life do or not. Hopefully they will all decide to do the same, but as long as you aren't judging them for their choices, there's no reason to feel guilty. Glad you found another love in spinning! I've yet to give it a real chance (I love running so much!), but I'm sure I'll do it eventually.

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RUNNER12COM 10/6/2011 2:36PM

    The only thing guilt does is bring you down. If there was something you had done wrong, you could apologize and make amends. But there isn't anything you did wrong. You are doing the right things.

Let the other people follow you to a better healthy journey of their own or not. It's their choice.

And you just keep right on doing your thing!

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MSJULES01 10/6/2011 2:32PM

    I think that the ones that should feel guilty are the ones that bring the bad foods to you.

The best thing that you can do is to be proud of how far that you have come. Before you know it the others will open up their eyes to the new and improved YOU.

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DEBJAE 10/6/2011 1:44PM

    Hi! I think you solved your own problem! They choose not to get healthy...and you choose to better your life. You cannot control anyone but yourself...only they can make the decision to change their lives for the better. Do they give you a hard time about doing so well? A good friend is supportive, not negative towards your accomplishments. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to cut loose those friends that are dead weight and that's never an easy decision to make.

Just stay focused on your goals!

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WADINGMOOSE 10/6/2011 1:37PM

    I don't know how to lose the guilt. But I do know that you have to make the best decisions for you - and that's living healthy. Sure, it doesn't hurt to treat yourself once in awhile, but it sucks that we feel guilty for doing good things for ourselves.

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Lupus Walk for Hope and 5K Run

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Last year, I have a New Year's resolution (goal) to run 11 races in 2011. Recently, I changed it to 6 races in 2011. Of course, being me, I announced it to the Sparkpeople community.

In doing so, a generous Spark Friend, EHAGFELD, offered to sponsor me for one of my races. She understood that as a college student, the expense of race registrations may prevent me from completing my goal. Now, that is support!

One of the races I choose was the Lupus Walk for Hope and 5K Run. I choose this because another Spark Friend, VPOPPY01, has lupus. Right now, as far as I know, there is no cure. The money raised goes toward research for lupus!

I just find it amazing that God blessed with me such a great Spark Friends!

It really was a fun day!

Valerie (VPOPPY01) and I actually went to the Y and did a spin class BEFORE the 5K! Yes, we were that crazy! Than, later met up with Evelyn (EHAGFELD).

I looked up our "official" times of the race and they are the following.. drum roll, please!

VPOPPY01: 33:09

With these times, we all PRed! How awesome is that!

Both EHAGFELD and VPOPPY01 wrote blogs about the 5K as well! I find them both inspiring to read! Check them out!

EHAGFELD's blog, "Blessed by Fellow Sparkers! . . . and a 5K Lupis Walk/Run for Hope!"

VPOPPY01's blog, "Day Trip to Duluth and Lupus 5K!"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCYLU22 10/8/2011 11:27PM

    Congrats to all 3 of you!! Awesome cause, awesome women!! You all truly inspire!! Thanks so much for sharing your stories.


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SHERYLDS 10/4/2011 1:48PM

    congrats to one my favorite awesome spark friends

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CALIFGOLFER 10/3/2011 9:53PM

    I think all three of you are awesome! Such a good cause too. Congrats!

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FUNFROG79 10/3/2011 10:29AM

    Wow! emoticon

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CIVIAV 10/2/2011 7:13PM

    I can't keep up with you! How awesome to keep improving your times. I'm watching...

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VPOPPY01 10/2/2011 6:06PM

    I am so crazily impressed by my time for this race! I'm a little in shock/super inspired to go out and run more. Especially this week since I have no gym lol.

Omg, I can't say enough how much fun I had up there with you! I think I'll have to come back up later this year to hang out some more!

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EJOY-EVELYN 10/2/2011 2:38PM

    I'm impressed that you and Valerie were both able to RUN the entire race. I see that the officials recorded a better time than I had had anticipated for my walk. Whether it's a 14.5 or 13.9 minute mile for me, they're both fabulous numbers. Happy to provide some much needed funds to a great cause. There was also an Alzheimer's walk elsewhere in the city. You're well on your way to meeting your goal for total 5Ks this year. WooHoo! This was truly the re-energizer I needed.

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VISUALLYRICS 10/2/2011 1:39PM

    I am too Blessed by you - my Fellow Sparkers!
What an Outstanding 5K run, Ladies!! I admire you, your journey and your testimony!!
emoticon on such a rewarding Run!! ~ Laura

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VEUVEGIRL 10/2/2011 1:04PM


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Saturday, September 24, 2011

My weight loss journey started during the summer of 2009. I lost 30 pounds that summer with tons of walking. At the end of that summer, I decided to walk a 5K. I choose a local one and gathered my friends for the CASDA 5K. Many bailed but Jared did not.

The next fall, 2010, Jared and I ran the 5K together in 37:38. Here is the photo from last year!

We were planning on doing it together again this year but he had a game for curling. So, I asked my running friend, Stephanie to do it with me.

I consider her experienced. She can easily do a 10 minute pace while that is "fast" for me. Also, she has done many halfs and a few full marathons. It was alot of fun!

Our time was 32:43! emoticon

My goal was 32:00. Not bad considering I was "ill" for three weeks and detrained alot. Also, I only ran once this week. In July, I did the 5K with my sister for the 4th of July in 33:45. This means I shaved a minute off my time! WIN!

I have three *hopefully* races coming up.
-Lupus Walk for Hope and 5K
-Black Cat 5K
-Harvest Run (My sister's first 5K!)

I still cannot believe that I CAN run a 32:43 5K! WIN! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOAN_HEO 9/29/2011 4:21PM

    You are the bestest!!!! You look so adorable! Or as a teacher friend says...adora-bell!

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LIFESGREAT2DAY 9/28/2011 10:19PM

    That's wonderful! Such a difference in photos in one year too! Keep up the amazing job you are doing!

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PATRICIAANN46 9/24/2011 9:23PM

  YOU are emoticon!!!!!

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1CRAZYDOG 9/24/2011 7:58PM

    You are a lean, mean running machine! you can do whatever you put your mind to.

Ditch the scale! At least for awhile. You're right . . . if you need to, there is one @ the gym. It's not worth gettin frustrated about. DO remember that you were not able to do your usual routine when you weren't feeling well. That takes it's toll, but it's not irreversable1 Just look @ where you were @ the beginning of this journey! You are back in the saddle again and you'll be fine.



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STRIPEDTIGER 9/24/2011 3:37PM

    I can certainly believe it!! You've become a stud (or the girl equivalent) !!

I'm so happy for you! Keep up the fantastic work!! Keep being proud of EVERY accomplishment!!


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LISAINMS 9/24/2011 3:32PM

    Awesome improvement! Keep on keepin' on, Savannah. You're doing terrific!

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    Wow! That's fantastic! You really did a great job! I knew you would! emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 9/24/2011 12:38PM

    Great run! And you look so much healthier this year. WooHoo!

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GETFIT2LIVE 9/24/2011 11:55AM

    Way to go, that is wonderful--and love the pictures! I hope I can eventually get my times down that much for a 5K. Awesome job, especially considering being sick and not training much during that time!


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CIVIAV 9/24/2011 11:33AM

    You CAN And DID! Woohoo!

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Fall Goals

Friday, September 23, 2011

As some of you know, I have been struggling with goals.

After a chat with a campus leader, I decided to make a goal with miles on a treadmill. You see my campus is getting a pink treadmill for Breast Cancer Awareness. For the month of October, for every mile that is ran/walked, 10 cents is donated to research. My goal? Complete 60 miles on that emoticon! I am really excited about this goal!

I got to thinking about my running and such. I came to the conclusion that races do keep me focused. So, I decided I want to do 100 races by the time I turn 30, April 2016. This sounds like a huge number, doesn't it? But, so did 100 pounds and I did that! I can do this, too!

In 2009, I did two races.
In 2010, I did four races.
In 2011, I hope to complete six races.

See the pattern?! As long as I increase by four races each year, I will be able to reach my goal!

Another goal I have is more traditional. In other words... bor-ing! Haha!

They are to lose ONE pound each week. This means by I would be 153 by November 18th! Also, every other week I would be taking measurements and photos.

Lastly (but not least), I am going to keep lifting MWF with free weeks. At the end of the 8 weeks, I am going to reward myself with something. Not sure with what yet, though.

So, instead of working on homework, I worked on a revamping my motivational board which has my goals on it. Now, I feel focused.

What are your goals for the fall? For October? emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERIKA05 9/26/2011 11:15AM

    Good for you! I'm travelling for all of October, so my goals are more amorphous - something along the lines of: don't overeat, easy on the wine, do something ambitious and physical every second day (like climbing the Eiffel Tower), be awesome, have fun! It's weird because I'm normally very goal oriented, so the idea of "free-lancing" kind of bothers me. I'm bringing my HRM though, so hopefully that will help me to keep on track and be realistic about how many calories climibing the Eiffel Tower actually burns.
I love the idea of 100 races by your 30th birthday! I wonder what a reasonable number would be for *someone* turning 29 in like a week...

I can;t wait to check in and see how it all went when I'm back. Good luck with your awesome October goals!

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MYLADY4 9/24/2011 9:47PM

    Good goals!! If you need some races to run next year and don't mind a 2 hour drive, have some nice races down by me.

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EJOY-EVELYN 9/23/2011 9:21PM

    I like this new spark that has you on fire. Give if your best because that's what you deserve.

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1CRAZYDOG 9/23/2011 6:11PM

    Good job!!

My goals:

1. Maintain my weight by continuing to track my nutrition and portion control -- meaning continuing to weigh/measure. Keeps me honest!

2. I want to have at least one meatless meal/week.

Ok -- boring goals, I admit!

Keep on sparking!

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CRISSYCURRY 9/23/2011 4:16PM

    Sounds like good goals!

Hmm, I haven't given it much thought but I guess my goals are to maintain my weight and run my first full marathon on December 3. I would like to get more toned but that will come with time and more STing.

Good luck with your goals!

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    You can do this you know! You will, too! emoticon

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HEIDISO 9/23/2011 1:38PM

    How many races have you complete so far this year?

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The Girl with the Phoenix Tattoo.. with updates!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

This week I discovered I need to use better time management skills. In the last couple semesters, I have been READY for classes to start and have it all planned out. Boy, that did not happen this semester. We all have busy lives so listen up.. plan, plan, and plan. If you do, things tend to go smoother, unlike this week. So next week, we are going to try another plan for fitting in my fitness and my homework.

Anyhow, I am getting back to my focused self which is really nice. All your comments from my last blog really helped but TYKXBOY said something that really hit me.

He said: "Just remember, you don't deserve food, you deserve to be happy and healthy!"

This is so true. Until this was said back to me, I didn't realize I was rewarding myself with food. This is an old habit. Basically, I was rewarding myself with food for losing weight. When I get a moment to breathe, I hope to purchase a food dairy. I think that would be best for me. I know how to eat right - it watching my emotions.

Talking about rewarding myself for my weight loss.. I got my tattoo finished!

I still cannot believe I am that girl that used to weigh 260, that lost 100 pounds, ran her first half marathon this summer and now am the girl with the phoenix tattoo. If I saw me on the street, I'd want to get to know me!

I was reminded of this last night when someone that works on campus stopped by and basically summed me up just like that. I am that girl! Harry, the same guy, told me that in October we are getting a PINK Cybex treadmill. Basically, every mile that is ran/walked on it, Cybex is donated 10 cents to research. How awesome is that!? (OH!!! I just had a thought. I have been having trouble with coming up with a goal. I could focus on doing so many miles on that treadmill in October! Eek!) Anyhow, Harry was telling me because I am a runner! Eeek!

So, that's that!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTLEALAH 9/22/2011 11:34PM

    Yay for being "that girl"!!!! And beautiful tattoo!

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LISAINMS 9/22/2011 11:15PM

    Beautiful art! I hope you rack up a lot of miles on that pink treadmill.

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EJOY-EVELYN 9/22/2011 5:39PM

    Beautiful work done on the Phoenix! You deserve the best! Happy running!

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ASHBASH24 9/22/2011 2:14PM

    I. LOVE. YOUR. TATTOO. Like sooooo much! And YAY for being "That girl"!!!

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PATRICIAANN46 9/22/2011 1:55PM

  Hi Savannah......
I emoticon your tattoo and your emoticon attitude.

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BAILEYS7OF9 9/22/2011 11:54AM

    Great idea on the treadmill!!! Bet that phoenix will be flying!!

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STRIPEDTIGER 9/22/2011 11:51AM

    You don't have to have a fancy diary to journal your food. A simple notebook is all I use. Then I log in SP when I have time. I wish I could send you a copy of the form I use. (darn SparkMail) It's easy, handy and I love it.

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1CRAZYDOG 9/22/2011 11:31AM

    Way to go! Looks beautiful.

What a fantastic idea with the treadmill!! I think that's fabulous. Obviously that is near and dear to my heart since my Mom was diagnosed w/breast cancer in June. Run like the wind, sweetie!! Rack up those treadmill miles.


PS You DO deserve to be healthy and you ARE that girl!

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CRISSYCURRY 9/22/2011 11:13AM

    Sounds like you're back on the right track! Our gym has those pink treadmills as well and the owners participated in that 10 cent challenge last October.

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ELLEYKAT 9/22/2011 11:11AM

    AWESOME!! I'm so happy for you and proud of you, and I LOVE your tattoo! =) That's my 100 pounds reward as well. Working hard for it!!!

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