Thursday, September 01, 2011
Today, I went to the doctor for my dizziness, nauseous, and muscle soreness. Because I also had a sore throat while there, they tested me for strep. Negative. Waiting for the cultures to come back to double check. They are testing me for thyroids and anemia. I won't know the results until Tuesday. Until than, I am to take multivitamin and claratin. I took the multivitamin when I went to work and I felt better within the hour. But, now my wisdom teeth are killing me. And, my sore throat!
To say the very least, I am very miserable. With that said, I realize I am very blessed. I have been very crabby about work and being sick today. So, I complained alot. My friends on campus, at the Y, on here and beyond were all very kind to me. In fact, they asked me to keep in touch. So many, that I will probably post it on Facebook and here to keep everyone updated. I just thought it was nice.
Even when you are miserable, people care for you and want the best for you!
Okay! Now time for me to go to bed. I hope to sleep until 10ish. A girl can wish!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Who wants to hear about my vacation?! Well, good. You came to the right blog!
I got up and early and worked out with my work out buddy at 6:30 am! It was super fun. Than, I started to head south with stopping at my parents house and just taking my time with the 3 hour drive. I figured I had alot of thinking to do! After supper with my sister and her family, we went running on the track. That was nice!
My sister worked during the day and the little one was in daycare so that means the day was my oyster! So, I did what every one does on vacation and went hiking!
Here is a picture overlooking the bridge entering Red Wing, Minnesota!
Later that night, I went to Reba McEntire featuring Ronnie Dunn. Here are a few photos from that night!
Nicole and I went shopping at the Mall of America. Could someone explain to me how shopping all day exhausts me but a 6 mile run doesn't as much? After the long day of shopping, we stopped at the Lego store for my nephew, Trevor, who is 3 years old, since he was so patient and a good boy. He loved the store! You should have seen it when he found out my sister was going to buy him some legos.
I went to the Renaissance Festival at Shakopee, Minnesota.
This was a long, busy day. I went to church at the church I grew up at than I had my sister take a photo of me with dog food of the amount of weight I have lost.
I went to my Grandma's. That was nice to spend a few hours with her. I got to see my quilt with my old shirts from college and races!
Than, I went back to my other sisters to eat supper, pack up and drive the 3 hours back. I finally got back about 11 pm.
I got alot of time to reflect (6 hours in a car!) on my friendships and whatever else.
I am sad that his and I's friendship is ending.
I am disappointed that he couldn't be mature enough to talk to me about it.
I am hurt that our friendship didn't mean enough to fight for.
But, with that said..
I know I cannot do anything about it. I could confront him about it.. but, what will it do? It's not like the friendship will go back to how it was. The damage is done. For whatever reason, he is CHOOSING to not be a friend to me. His loss. Seriously.
On the flip side, I have some pretty great people coming in my lives. More assertive, at the very least! I really enjoyed running with him but one of my new friends want to start running, too. I think I will take advantage of that situation.
I cannot believe school starts next Tuesday!! Where did the time go? But, it will be a nice distraction from all this relationship stuff.
On another note, the scale says I gained like 4# on vacation! It lies!!! On Thursday, I weighed myself at my sister's... 157 and today 161.2. Okay, I know I ate ALOT but I did NOT eat 10,500 excess calories! I am thinking I have alot of sodium retention considering I did eat alot of foods that weren't so healthy for me!
I do feel refreshed with my friendships and my job. I am not sure if I am ready for classes to start but that hopefully I will get there in the next few days. I do hope to get Saturday off so I can go home for a long Labor Day weekend.
Okay, I have rambled on enough! My ipod was dead so it was charging while I was updating you all. Hopefully, it has enough charge for me to go on a run!
Hope everyone is surviving all the hurricanes, earthquakes and beyond!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
For those that do not know, I work at a YMCA. Part of my job is where I give orientations to new members on how to operate the weight training machines. I, also, provide fitness evaluations.
Eventually, another part of my job is to provide body fat analysis. Right now, the personal trainers and the director of the Wellness Center perform them. Back in February, the director performed one on me so I can promote it to the members.
Well, today a member asked if I could do it. I explained I was not trained on it. Than, my boss called to see how things are going. I am working alot of shifts while is on medical leave. I told her about this member and she told me play around with the machine and perform it on myself.
So, I did.
Here is the exciting news!
I compared the print outs and here is what I found:
- In February, I weighed 175 pounds and had 67 pounds of fat.
- Today I weighed 159 pounds and had 50.9 pounds of fat.
So, in essence, I maintained the same muscle mass (it tells you the pounds of muscle you have, too) while losing 15 pounds!
I am trying to focus more on strength training so now I can use this as another tool besides body measurements since it can measure my muscle pounds. How exciting!
Monday, August 22, 2011
With this journey, putting aside the physical changes, I have grew tremendously inside as a person in the last three years. As I grew as a person, I outgrew some of my closest friends. Each and every time, it is hard for me to let go even through I need to grieve the friendship.
Once again, I am at this intersection. Currently, I have noticed that I am outgrowing two of my closest guy friends. They are equally hard to let go. I know I need to grieve them but how does one do that? It seems simple to grieve a death but what about a person that is very much alive but the friendship is not? How does one accept that it is time to let go?
I dated Bobby for approximately 3 months and we have been close ever since for the last two years. We always said we'd be there for each other but the thing is, more and more, I find I struggle to relate and support him as I could in the past. I didn't mean to grow and leave him behind. This journey, honestly, wasn't even a conscious decision. I just wanted to lose 5 pounds - I didn't set out to change my entire life but I did.
As for my other friend, he is equally as hard because we got close even through I knew he was leaving. I guess sometimes the unknown is what makes situations like this hard. Recently, he has dropped our friendship. It hurts. But, I also know I need to let it go. I cannot hang onto the hurt. I have to let him go. If he does not want to nurture our friendship, it will simply die. I cannot continue to water it, without the soil it needs.
These are not the only friendships I am outgrowing, unfortunately. I have attended my college for the last four years. Yup, that is right. I am a senior and should be graduating soon. I have found that I am, also, outgrowing the campus as a whole. The maturity here is not exactly what I can find for lasting friendships.
On the upside, I am finding alot of friends at the YMCA I work at. They are mature and have similar lifestyles that I have. When I am on campus, I have fight for my lifestyle tooth and nail but while I am at work, these people understand because they choose it too.
In fact, my new work out buddy works there. In the past, when people have wanted to be their work out buddy, I steered away from it. It often felt like they wanted me to lose weight FOR them. I want to help but I cannot do it FOR them. Cassie seems like she sincerely wants my company. I may even get to act like a Personal Trainer and teach her some exercises. How fun! Our trial run is on Wednesday morning!
Besides that, Curt and I seem to have fun together. He suggested running together and even a beach run, something I have never done. I tend to run slow (11-13 min/pace) and he seemed fine with that. So, basically, I can have another running buddy. I cannot wait until I feel better so I can.
Than, there's John. Now, there is some romantic potential with this one. He goes to a nearby college and today when we both saw each other, we were both grins and like, "Where have you been hiding?" We chit chatted and I told him to add him on Facebook. Hopefully, he does. He seems fun.
Anyhow, what is my point? My point is more to myself than to anyone else. I need to let go of these old friendships and let new ones grow. I also need to accept these friendships came in my life for a reason and now it served it's purpose. Time to move on.
I know grieving has it's purpose. For me, I think it is accepting it has run it's course and to say good-bye.
Now, my question for you.. do you know how to move on or even grieve a friendship? What benefits do you feel serves grieving does for you?
Saturday, August 20, 2011
No one likes to be laughed at.
Especially, by their own mother.
That is what happened tonight. Every time she does it, I feel so foolish. Almost stupid.
Tonight, I stood up for me and told her to stop. She was like, "I wasn't laughing." She was and I told her that she was. A few minutes later, she's like, "I don't know why you treat me so badly when I give you things." My parents are giving me money so I can afford to go on my mini-vacation. I was a bit short on money.
But, this is why I try to never ask for money because she always turns it around and be like, "Why are you being mean to me?" No, Mother, I am not being mean; this is what standing up for one's self looks like. *sigh*
I get really sick of her manipulating me.
Tonight, I ended the conversation. Like I usually do.
In other news, I have decided my body had a mix of exhaustion and dehydration going on.
All week I have been resting and drinking Powerade as much as I can. It can be tough considering I work at a YMCA and on my feet, walking around, going up and down the stairs, all day long. Today, I had the day off so I sleep into until 10:30 am and just now I am getting that exhausted feeling so hopefully, this means I am doing better.
I am supposed to be training for a half marathon and now I am not sure if I will continue that training. Taking one week off is one thing but two weeks? I go on my vacation next week and I think I am going to keep it with lounging around, a bit of walking and some running. In other words, pretty light.
In a couple weeks, I go back to classes and want to be all rested up because the first few weeks can be kinda stressful.. so if that means not training for a half marathon.. that is what that means.
Besides this exhaustion business, I finally got my grades in for my summer classes.
Exercise Physiology... A
Online course (too long of a title)...B
I wish I could tell my friend - the one that dropped me like taking out the garbage - because he knows how hard Exercise Physiology can be and why it's awesome to get an A in it. Oh, well. Trying to move on.
Okay, off to make supper, I think, and maybe read a book. Maybe I will make my ex bf, Nick, hang out with me since he is all moved in now.
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