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Angry Binge: Letter to guys in my life.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I know this is my second blog of the day.. but I really need to vent.

As I finishing off the box of Triscuits I brought just yesterday afternoon, I realized I was angry.

The angry where you want to smash many, many ceramics things.

But, you are mature so you know it's not appropriate, according to society. Besides, you'd be sad if you smashed your favorite tea cup and your favorite bowls that your best guy friend gave you.

Or, would you?

Right now, I am so angry, and maybe even hurt.

My best guy friend, B, when I vented to him about wanting to go to MS, for the half marathon, responded with, "Well, paying your bills is the responsible thing."

Really?! No kidding! It's not like I don't pay my bills! I work my butt off and it seems like I am getting no where. Even more so, my friend, who is 23, is living with his parents and his parents are supporting him. He is not going to school. Doesn't have a solid job. AND, he is in California! Can you guess who's paying for that?! Mind you, he has a heart condition. It was diagnosed three years ago. Grieve it and get on with your life!

But, yet he is telling me that I need to be responsible!

And, if that isn't enough, there is my so-called friend that in the last couple months or so, basically quit being friends with me. No explanation. They say we will be friends. This is not being friends. This is being a butt head. Yup, I call you a butt head because that is the terms kindergartners use, much like you are acting. All I want to do is yell and scream and smash ceramic.

But, the truth is, I know I am just really hurt that you'd walk away from our friendship like this. Even after I have asked you about it. Know that it hurts. It's your choice and YOUR loss.

And, if that isn't enough, I cannot exercise because I am super exhausted/dehydrated and who knows what else. I just want a friend in this big world and there isn't one. My ex, N, says to work out when I am stressed is not healthy. Well, honey (sarcasm), neither is bingeing a box of Triscuits. If this is how I deal with my feelings and life, than, well, you need to understand. But you simply don't. You don't understand my lifestyle. You just want me to conform to your lifestyle. You pressure me to not work out and that it is "okay" to eat how you do. No, it's not okay for me to eat like that. If that is how YOU want to live, fine, but respect that I do not. Well, for starters, respect my boundaries. Can you do that? Nope, I didn't think you could.

Right now, I would love to find ONE "live" guy that actually understood ME. I am starting to wonder if he even exists. Whatever, I don't need these guys and I don't need any guy.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MZSLEEPE1 8/20/2011 12:39PM

    Right on girl!! We've all been there!! I'm there right now. :( I know you'll do what's good for you! We're all just looking to live healthy and happy, sometimes the happy part is just a little elusive... still looking myself! But whatever it is that makes you happy you deserve so do what you want when you want and how you want!! Rock on!! You're fabulous!!

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LISAINMS 8/19/2011 9:32AM

    Oh Savannah. That poor little box of Triscuits just didn't stand a chance. While I know you are unhappy with your binge, at least it wasn't a bucket of ice cream? I am also a power cruncher when I am angry. It is more socially acceptable than smashing things, LOL.

Your finances are not for your friend to comment on unless you asked him what to do. But how ironic that he would lecture you on financial responsibility. I wonder if your "friends" are saying these things to you out of jealousy? Look at where you are compared to them. You are achieving amazing goals, taking great strides to have a healthy and successful life. You're leaving them in the dust and they are mad. It's sad that people have to tear down others to make themselves feel better. Your friend is not financially responsible for his adult self so he lectures you about spending your earned money. Your ex doesn't share your goal of being healthy so he attempts to undermine your efforts with misguidance. Just sad individuals, really. Sometimes to continue forward we have to let go of the past that holds us back. Open yourself to new friendships. Search out people that share your lifestyle interests. My kids have been going through the same thing. They have just moved onto a different plane than the kids they made friends with their first yr in college. They maintain friendly contact, but they have gravitated to people that are more in line with their interests. Sometimes freeing yourself from old connections makes room for new ones.

I'm sure classes will soon start for you and your time will be even shorter. You are worth deciding how you should spend that time. Don't waste it on people that bring nothing to the party and beat you down. You are an incredible young woman with a whole lot on the ball. I say drop the anchors! It will make room in your life for true peers.

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PATRICIAANN46 8/18/2011 12:49PM

  Hi Savannah........
I agree totally with what ERLYWA said in her response. You were a different person when you were originally with your EX. Now that you have made so many changes in your lifestyle, he may be threatened. I know that I have mentioned this to you before, but because I am a Mom and have also (way back in the dark ages) been a girl your age, I know from whence I speak. You have so much going for patient.....he is out there and you will find him. Don't worry about the guys from your past. That was yesterday.......put your energy into today and your future. YOU know what is best for YOU.

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FLAME42 8/18/2011 8:55AM

    I think ERLYWA said it very well. Do what is best for you, even spending some special time with that great person,YOU!
I think venting in words or actions (exercise not smashing) is helpful.

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HDHAWK 8/17/2011 10:20PM

    He'll come along at some point, just not always when we want it to happen. Yes, it's plenty healthy to work out when you're stressed. There's plenty of research to back it up. Hmmm, I'm getting a picture as to why he's your ex!

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CANNIE50 8/17/2011 10:18PM

    Not healthy to work out while stressed? Craziest thing I have ever heard (or at least the craziest thing I have heard since I read the post where someone's m.i.l. is trying to convince her that fast food and soda are healthy items). Imagine what you could do to a heavy bag with this anger you are feeling? emoticon or how you could punish a road or a trail? emoticon or just show some weights who is boss emoticon. Okay, I got annoyed when reading what your friend said and I don't even know him. My rule: you can weigh in on my financial decisions when you are contributing to my finances. Of course, I am very careful about who I talk to my finances about. Honey, "to thine ownself, be true". Do what sits right with YOU. You may have to spend a little time alone for awhile but it is less frustrating than spending time in unsatisfying relationships, and letting go of relationships that are not working makes way for those that are healthy. Okay, sorry, I just got all riled up right along with you!

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ERLYWA 8/17/2011 10:12PM

    You may not NEED a guy, but we've joked about waiting for our "knights in shining armor," so I know you WANT one. We all want love in our lives, and to be unconditionally accepted.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and propose a possibility, and I hope it won't offend you. But I think I have seen some of this in myself, so it was the first thing that popped into my head when I read your blog just now....

I wonder if what is happening is, when you were heavy, perhaps (like me) you felt like no decent man could/would love you b/c you were heavy. So maybe you settled for less than you wanted/deserved and perhaps these men that are mistreating you are from those days when you didn't realize you deserve more. Now their behavior is bothering you, and I think that is because you now KNOW you deserve better.

Perhaps it is simply time to let go of the unhealthy people you brought into your life when you didn't know you deserved better, and replace them with people that are worthy of your time and attention and love.

Chin are beautiful, witty, kind and smart, and you deserve to have people in your life that recognize that and value your qualities. Ditch these "buttheads" that mistreat you, b/c you don't deserve that kind of shoddy treatment!


Comment edited on: 8/17/2011 10:13:32 PM

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1CRAZYDOG 8/17/2011 10:08PM

    I am going to respond to you privately on this one.


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  Sounds like a crappy day. emoticon Sending you a hug and empathy from the big world. xoxoxo

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Dehydrated or Overtraining?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

That is the question.

Am I dehydrated or am I overtraining or a combination of both?

Last week, I felt I did alot of exercise and started lifting everyday. It was different muscle groups that got rotated. I was even having alot of fun. When I weighed in on Sunday, I dropped like three pounds!

But, yet, I felt tired.

The tired I am talking about is as soon as I get up for a few hours, I feel like I could go for a nap! emoticon

I took Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday off. I am starting to get antsy but yet, I am still kinda tired.

On Monday, after a hour of being outside on the beach, I got dizzy and nauseous. emoticon I got the same nausea today after doing some errands for a couple hours.

So.. you may be wondering.. or maybe not.. but my pee is a dark yellow. I do know that is a sign of dehydration.

Initially, I thought I might be overtraining as I was unmotivated, and my muscles fatigued that I didn't work hard. When I took a couple days off, my muscles still complained. I hate taking breaks. It makes me feel like I am giving up and I am not as focused.

With all this, I am thinking it might be more dehydration than overtraining.
What do you think?

Either way, I am going to go back to working out tomorrow. I miss it. emoticon I really want to lift. I feel like I am going to turn to mush! So, I think the plan is going to try to work on getting un-dehydrated and do 20 minutes of cardio and get back to my routine of lifting! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DESIROCKS 8/16/2013 11:14AM

    Thank you for putting this on, I have been having the same problem the last couple of days. I have been working out a lot this week, and it is muggy, so I have been sweating like crazy. I will try some electrolytes and get some rest! emoticon emoticon

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SHARJOPAUL 8/18/2011 8:48AM

    It sounds like dehydration to me. Aside from drinking more fluids, be sure you are getting plenty of those electrolites you keep hearing about. I had to do some research to find out exactly what those elecrolites are. So here is what they mean: Potasium, Calcium, and Magnesium. These are all water soluble nutrients so you can sweat them out. The Spark Nutrition tracker can track them for you so be sure you check that regularly.

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FUNFROG79 8/18/2011 8:31AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, REST, REST! Listen to your body before your burn out, girl! Hang in there!

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PSALM42 8/18/2011 8:13AM

    About the hypoglycemia: if you suspect this, read the vim and vigor diet. I have had hypoglycemia my whole life and it took me about 15 years to learn how to control it. Mainly you need to keep your sugars level, so you don't want to get too hungry. Instead of eating 3 meals per day, eat 6 mini meals. Always pair carbs with protein, especially fruit carbs. Try to avoid a lot of sugar, and a snack before bed will help. The signs are dizziness, nausea, etc., but this sounds like it could be dehydration. Up your water and get some electrolytes and enjoy your workouts!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/17/2011 10:04PM

    Definitely sounds like there's dehydration going on there. I'd use a sports drink w/o sugar so you get the electrolytes. If it's just dehydration, that should help. I agree that if it DOESN'T, then you should consider getting checked out, because as mentioned, it could be hypoglycemia.

I would say listen to your body as far as working out goes. I KNOW that feeling of being "antsy" because you can't work out like you would want to, BUT you body might need a little break. I had to do that too and I felt the same way . . . like my muscles were going to go to "mush". Well, that's not going to happen overnight for sure. But DO listen to your body. Get checked out if this doesn't clear up.

Have you ever had low blood pressure? Could cause those symptoms, too.

Take care of yourself, eat properly and try to get some rest, too.


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LALAFLOWERS 8/17/2011 9:17PM

    Yep... dehydration. go for gatorade, or for the sugar free option if you don't want the calories. I struggle with this all the time. I drink lots of water, but I am still feeling dehydrated. That's why I've incorporated 'sports drinks' into my life. Makes me feel better!

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BAM0827 8/17/2011 6:48PM

    Takes some experimentation to figure things out but adding more water is an easy one. I hope that solves it for you! Are you eating enough?

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LISAINMS 8/17/2011 5:59PM

    Dropping three pounds at this point in the game would be questionable. Dark urine and light-headedness is a symptom of dehydration. Get some electrolytes in because you could be off balance causing dehydration even if you are getting plenty of water. If you're not feeling better in a couple of days, go to a doctor. Not to scare you, but those are also symptoms of insulin imbalance. So if several bottles of Gatorade don't help, make an appointment!

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TYKXBOY 8/17/2011 2:48PM

    It could be dehydration and could also be a problem if you are mostly drinking water and have low electrolytes. Also could be just too much exercise and your body is telling you to rest and drink some fluids. Definitely get your fluids and electrolytes in and see if that helps.

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GETFIT2LIVE 8/17/2011 2:45PM

    Drink your water--that definitely sounds like dehydration, though there might be a little overtraining thrown in to boot. I hate taking breaks, too, but listen to your body and take care of yourself!


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    Could it be something like hypoglycemia? Maybe you should have your blood sugar checked??

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Excited for life.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Ever feel like something HUGE is going to happen and your life is about to change forever? Well, right now that is how I feel!

Besides, for the first time in my life that I can remember, I am content but yet very excited to see what the future holds for me.

I am excited... graduate. start my career. get my new tattoo. (Consultation on September 4th.) start traveling and seeing the world (or at least the U.S.) meet more sincere, mature people. even meet guys and go on some fun dates. see what new places my fitness will bring me.

I guess what I am saying is that I am excited for my life to start.

By the way, those are the flowers I brought at the grocery store today! Aren't they great?!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FUNFROG79 8/17/2011 8:22AM

    Gerbers are my favorite! I'm so happy for you and I'm glad you are excited about what is to come! emoticon

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PSALM42 8/17/2011 7:38AM

    Wooo hooo! college is a rough place... but I do have to say that not everybody in the "real world" is mature, most of us are :)

Gerber daisies are my fav!

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ERLYWA 8/17/2011 12:36AM

    What an exciting new chapter in your life that you are starting on! :)

Love the flowers, they are gorgeous!

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LISAINMS 8/16/2011 11:01PM

    I love to pick up a few bright flowers. How can you look at them and not smile? I'm excited for you Savannah. You are on the cusp of big things!

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LEENUHPEA 8/16/2011 10:13PM

    Stay excited!! It's motivation!! And I love the flowers. They are cute, along with your profile background!!

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Long Blog: Vent on hurtful accusation of being too healthy.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Today, I was grumpy and was venting to my ex online, the one that's moving four doors from me in like two weeks.

I was venting to him about a lot of things going on in my life. One of the things specifically was how my friend keeps calling me weird. Now, usually weird isn't an insult but from her, it is. It doesn't help that whenever my lifestyle such as eating or running, she calls it weird.

It is not weird. It's called being healthy.

Also, I explained that my friends and family pressure me to not be healthy. Ever since I started this journey, I have been fighting for it.

Anyhow, my ex decided this was the appropriate time to talk to me about something that always was an issue when we dating.

So there is no misinterpretation, here is the conversation.


My friends and family always have... since I changed my lifestyle.
Its something I have to fight for, everyday.
I asked Holly to go with me to get Gu, something I take on my runs, and she called me weird sseveral times.

i dont take sides on this topic
but maybe at times too much of a good thing can be a bad thing
im not saying always being healthy is bad

What do you mean?

just that friends , life, your mental well being, 3 things that are equally important
from my perspective


you base your life off being health, instead of the other way around
if you feel like you've been unhealthy
if affects your mental well being
i see that as a bad situation , and i know i cant help that

Its not a bad situation. It basically means I am disappointed in me when I am not doing what i know is best for me

to a point being dissapointed is ok
but iv personaly seen you go past that point and it hurts to see that

Go past what point? That I make myself toe the line?

your healthy to be happy, and if you dont feel your being healthy, you dont just get mad at you
you get depressed about it
then strive harder than you should to make up for it
some times you can look at it as motivation
but once it gets too bad , its more unhealthy than it is healthy to strive too hard to make up for somthing that wasnt all that bad in the first place

How I live is not unhealthy. Im sorry you think I am being unhealthy but I deal with it all the ways I know how.

your really just picked out the negative of everything i said that
and threw out everything else

No, I get it. You're concerned that I a having an eating disorder.


I'm not.

not in the least bit
im just worried that at times when your depression gets the worst of you, that you strive to hard to work it out completely through trying to be more healthy
and at times that can turn unhealty
nothing more nothing less
in and of itself, with the negative side , aside , i see you as a very strong willed and healthy woman and at times i envy your will power

Thats how I deal with my depression. My depression wasnt something I picked.
Thanks, Nick.

And im honestly sorry if you felt that was offencive at all.... its been something that iv wanted to talk to you about, i feel i needed to say that... even if you just brush it aside
because, i do care about you
as a good friend... and at times more than that

I know you care about me.
And, in the past, I have picked up on this.
Well, your opinion of it all.

Ex: I'm glad you take it like that hun


After this conversation, I was seriously hurt. I cried. Now, I feel like my feelings have been through the ringer. I just want someone to hug me and tell me it's okay.

It seems like so few people understand how hard I have to fight for this. I am tired of fighting. Why can't they understand I choose to be healthy? I choose to eat healthy and to run because it makes me happy.

For a while, I've kinda thought that I couldn't date someone that hasn't lost a chunk of weight because they couldn't understand the before and after parts of me, which is now meshed.

My counselor thinks there are people out there that can understand and accept my currently lifestyle of eating right and exercise. Like, why I have to do it. (Right now, the guy I like has lost over 100 pounds as well. We are going to share our before photos sometime!)

I'm really wondering if there are people that can accept me. Because, to me, there doesn't seem like there are too many people accepting my lifestyle. I don't need everyone to but I do someone to stand beside me and support it. It would be even better if he had the same lifestyle as I want my kids to have the same lifestyle.

Right now, I cannot wait until I graduate and can surround myself with healthy and mature people.

Wait, why can't I now? I already am starting to form friendships with healthy people at the Y. It'd be great to meet some people from college that are healthy and mature... *sigh*

Okay, enough of all this. Thanks for listening! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOAN_HEO 8/16/2011 8:56PM


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SHERYLDS 8/16/2011 1:57PM

    after a lifetime of training all I can tell you is ...
==do what feels right to you.
==don't take what others say so seriously (especially when you know you're doing the right things)
==being a little obsessed with doing healthy stuff is a lot better than staying in the habit of doing unhealthy stuff.
==what feels right today may change in how you feel be like Gumby and enjoy the moment. When it wears off...find another song to dance to

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PATRICIAANN46 8/15/2011 10:09PM

  Hi Savannah..........
Not knowing your Ex, I interpreted what he said as concern for you. But then, I don't know him like you do. How long have you known him? Has he been with you throughout this journey? Has he been supportive in any way?

Then I would go back to what we have talked about in the past. YOU are the only one that you should be worried about. If YOU are happy with what has transpired and with all you have accomplished; that is the main thing. This will give you confidence and this will show in everything you do. You work at a fitness club where most of the members are there to improve their health as you are. You just might meet someone there. If not, you are almost finished with school and you have opportunities coming up that you don't even know about yet, where you will meet many more people. He is out there.........and you are young and will find him. I know you will!!!!!

Now, relax, have a great Senior year and stay true to yourself.


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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/15/2011 2:07PM

    I really think you took it totally out of context and heard what you wanted to hear. He sounded like he was being supportive and worrying about you. I can be overly sensitive and do that too when I feel like I am being attacked. From an objective standpoint it really looked like you were projecting what you feel and worry about on him and not listening to what he really said.

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ERIKA05 8/15/2011 2:00PM

    From reading the exchange, it seems like your ex honestly meant well, but it definitely came across badly and I can understand why you'd be hurt. From his point of view, he cares about you and doesn't want to see you beat yourself up.

BUT.... High expectations and high personal standards sometimes *require* that you give yourself a swift kick in the a$$. If you want more, you have to demand more - of yourself, of your body, and of the people around you. There is nothing wrong with expecting the best from yourself. NOTHING. If his biggest criticsm is that you channel any regrets you have from a bad fitness/nutrition choice on Tuesday into making 2 better choices on Wednesday, well... screw that!
Don't let the haters get you down!

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FUNFROG79 8/15/2011 9:43AM

    Stay strong! You know you are on the right path and you will be happier and healthier for it! Keep striving to be your best!

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ERLYWA 8/14/2011 11:11PM

I don't know your ex, or your friend either, but I recently blogged about a friend's lack of support myself. I do think a lot of people feel threatened when we start to make positive changes in our lives, b/c it highlights things in THEIR lives that they wish they were changing. People are far more comfortable with the status quo even if it's not a happy, healthy status quo. Change is difficult, and when you make positive change like you have, you will really find out who your real friends are....

Hey, what's this about a guy you like? We talked about our "knights in shining armor" recently, wondering together when they would show up, and you were hiding one all along? LOL! Tell me about your knight so I can live vicariously through you! LOL!!

Hang in there, girl. Try not to let the naysayers get to you, b/c you are simply fabulous! :)


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CRISSYCURRY 8/14/2011 10:30PM

    Savannah, I don't know you that well so I can't comment as far as how your personality really is. However, I don't see your ex as attacking you. Then again, I don't know him either. All I can go off of is what you have posted. It's not your healthy lifestyle that he has a problem with; it's your reaction to the disappointment in yourself that he is concerned with. At least that's what I'm reading into this.

I have struggled with depression my entire life and was on antidepressants the majority of the time from 18 years old through 31 years old, so I do understand depression. However, I don't let it define who I am. I do have bouts with it, especially, like you, when I've made terrible choices and the scales reflect it. I let it affect my moods. Sometimes I feel that I need to hide the scales and weigh only once per month. Then there are times where I feel that I am borderline exercise bulimic. I eat really bad but then I'll work out for 2 hours as sort of a "penance" for bad eating.

I don't know, I guess I don't see it as him accusing you of being too healthy as much as it is on being too hard on yourself. There is a difference. I'm speaking from experience here because I'm the same way, and my friends are concerned about me too. I don't feel that they are attacking my healthy lifestyle. They are just concerned that I might take things too far at times, ya know?

Anyway, I hope you don't take my comments the wrong way. All I can comment on is what I see here, and to me, it doesn't look like an attack. It looks like concern. But then again, you know him and you know what his motives are.

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HDHAWK 8/14/2011 10:12PM

    Every time I lose weight or say I'm going to start losing (again) someone has to comment. It's their way of being jealous and wanting to keep you the way you are now. They feel guilty if they aren't doing the same things. I found that I need to just do what I need to do and not talk about it unless I'm asked. When I lost a lot of weight a couple years ago I think people got sick of hearing about it. You get excited about your accomplishments and want to talk about them. Sharing them here is a good place because we get it! Do what you need to do, for you!

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PURPLESPEDCOW 8/14/2011 8:14PM

    You will find people who are living the healthy lifestyle you have chosen. Your family will begin to understand the new you. I see you as an inspiration. Hold on to what you have accomplished. Never give up who you have become.

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EGRAMMY 8/14/2011 7:56PM

    They tell people in AA, OA etc to find friends and go places that have your new outlook.
Remember The Spark tells us that overweight freinds bring overweight friends. The opposite is true too. Healthy friends bring healthy friends. Enjoy them.

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TERRIPAL1 8/14/2011 7:38PM

    My goodness your doing something wonderful & have to defend yourself seriously!

It sounds like you know what you're doing so just be happy with all your accomplishments,cause it sounds great to me emoticon emoticon

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LEIGHWOMAN 8/14/2011 7:26PM

    Its hard when you're around people who have never had to (or chosen to) take control of that aspect of their life. As someone who has had to fight with it throughout my entire 30 years, married to someone who really doesn't give two thoughts about it, it does create some tension at times. But your counselor is right - there are people out there who will appreciate your journey and accept you for you - but they're the people who will not care whether you're fat or skinny or tall or short or cranky on your period. They are going to appreciate for who you are on the inside, and how this journey has helped you to become who you are.

The thing is - the majority of people in college are not really all that mature yet. They are few and far between in my experience!

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Bummed - No More MS Trip!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Today, when my alarm when off at 5:30 am, I thought about quitting my job. But, I managed to roll out of bed and get going. I was rewarded with this view on the way to work.

I was starting to get in a better mood. If I had to be at work, I might as well put on a happy face. emoticon Talking with member do that to me.

About 1 pm, the youth group that meets in the gym finished and I suddenly had kid after kid in the Wellness Center, where I am in charge of. No kids under age 16 are allowed in the WC without a signed form by a physician. This was stressful. Telling kids with attitude that they need to leave. emoticon

Three boys could stay because they had the form signed previously. They were a headache. Didn't want to use a spotter for doing the bench press. Kept banging the weights. emoticon

Finally, the Y was closing so it meant my day was over. As I was talking to the Staff on Duty before leaving for the day, she said that members came down and complained. *sigh* There isn't much I could do. They weren't really breaking any major rules. They just found a new rule to break like every five minutes... and driving me crazy.

Talking of members complaining, a regular complained that the clock was 5 minutes late. I was going to pass it onto the manager but decided to take care of it myself. As I was asking a taller member to help me, she whispered to another member. You know how you can tell they are talking about you. Than, she mocked me. Are you for real?! Are you seriously 5 years old? Because you sure look like your 40s!

I don't get paid enough to deal with whiney members! In fact, I get paid $7.40.

That brings me to my other matter. I did some figuring and I will be making $400 during the semester. That is without taxes taken out. In other words, it's gonna be TIGHT.

I was really hoping to go to Jackson, Mississippi to run a Half Marathon on January 8th... but I don't think it's possible.

I was looking at my refund from my semester. I could go on the trip and pay about half of my credit card. But... I really wanted to pay my credit card off. So.... I think I am going to not go on the trip emoticon and pay off my bills so I no longer have to payments on it which seem to suck all my monthly income.


Okay, time to put my big girl pants on.

I am trying to keep it positive. Even through I would meet some amazing friends for the first time, it will be good to have my bills paid off, have some money to fall back on and it will allow me to get my tattoo, the one I've thought for more than a year, without worries. Maybe one day I can get down there and do the half marathon.

In the meantime, I am considering of doing a half marathon during Spring Break. I should be able to afford it more as my reoccurring bills will be paid off and I'll already have money saved up.

Nonetheless, I am totally bummed.

When I told my mom about all this, she didn't seem all that sad about it. Rather relieved. It's not like she understands my need to travel alone or even run. She didn't even go to my first half marathon. *sigh*

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSJULES01 8/18/2011 3:46PM

    Hang in there. I hope that you find the right one to run during spring break.

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FUNFROG79 8/15/2011 9:37AM

    Sorry to hear that you are bummed, hang in there though! We are here for you!

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PATRICIAANN46 8/14/2011 6:58PM

  Hi Savannah........
Oh, how you bring back memories of being in college. I was broke ALL THE TIME!!!!! I think that you are wise to pay off your bills first. There may be other chances to run that will come up........and maybe they will be closer to you.
Keep smiling..........

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DELERIOUS64 8/14/2011 5:22PM

    A non runner will never understand our desire to run a race or our disappointment over not being able to. I understand how upset you must be but you will feel so much better about yourself if you get your finances in order first. Hang in there!

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LEAHOBI 8/14/2011 10:23AM

    Just a suggestion, but maybe you could run your marathon for some kind of cause? I would be willing to send money to support you. And I am sure that others would too. emoticon emoticon

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    WOW. I wish you could find a job that paid more than that! That's tough! I think you've made the right decision. Having financial peace means a lot. emoticon

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