Thursday, August 11, 2011
Yesterday, I had $0.83 in my bank account.
Today, I sold some summer textbooks back and got $45.00.
I put $20.00 of gas in the tank and brought $1.00 scratch off.
I won $18.00.
I brought Subway for $3.15 and there was already $0.14 there. I just kinda looked at it, like, are you for real?!
Than, this doesn't seem like a big deal for some but for me it was. Yesterday I didn't know if I was going to run out of gas on the way to work. It was worrying me. Now, I don't have.
In addition to that, a friend of mine at the Y mentioned he wanted to go to a certain movie but none of his friends would go. I got the feeling he wanted me to go but I couldn't barely tell him I'd go if he pays for me, lol.
I told my friend just last night if I had money, I would go to the Y when he does, and tell him I'd go. Now, I have the money to go, I don't want to go to the Y just to track him down.. life would be so much easier if I had his number. It was just so ironic. I used the textbook sellback money for gas and food. But, I feel like God is saying I can have fun, too. And, even gave me the funds to do so.
I feel very blessed to have gas in my car, food in the refrigerator, and surrounded by friends and family. Things can be always be worse.
Now, I gotta decide. I was going to run today but it's all which usually is great but not when I want to . My choices is to go to the Y and workout OR wait until 7:00 pm tonight and hopefully, I won't lose the motivation to run. I am supposed to have a long run today so I ate pasta yesterday in preparation but now that darn is out, lol.
Monday, August 08, 2011
All my life I have been "good". From counseling, I know I am trying to be perfect. For my parent's to love and adore me. They will if I am perfect, right? Um, not exactly...
When growing up my mom expected me to not fight with my sisters. I never drank or any illegal drugs. I tried to be the best.
Even with my weight loss, I tried to be perfect. I couldn't go over calories, not even 5. I couldn't take a day of rest. Nope. I had to be perfect.
In the last few days, something happened. I no longer have to be perfect.
Or, maybe I don't want to be perfect.
My most recent ex-boyfriend is going to be moving into the halls, FOUR doors from me. We have been chatting and it sounds like he wants to be kinda like friends with benefits. I am seeing no real good coming out of this but the other side of me? Well, they are saying.. do it. Have fun and live, Savannah.
Because you know what? I haven't lived.
I have been hiding behind 100 pounds of extra weight and have held myself back. I haven't dated much, haven't really gone anywhere until I was 23, and really haven't done anything that I wasn't supposed to.
I need to live.
In January, I am going to be getting on an airplane all by myself for the very FIRST time to do a half marathon in Mississippi! Honestly, this is scary for me. To get on a plane alone. To go to a brand new city. To depend on only ME. To meet three Spark Friends.
But, I need to live!
After some thought, I realized I need to explore and see this world with myself or with friends before I can settle down. Part of me wants to date, but the other part, wants to have fun, be adventurous, and LIVE.
Sunday, August 07, 2011
Okay, I created a strength training program yesterday for myself to get me motivated for strength training, something in which I'd rather hit my head against a brick wall than do.
Than, today I made myself a challenge.
In the challenge document, it has pictures of me in my near nakedness (something you folks won't ever see), but also my measurements for 2009, 2010 and than a spot for where I put the current stats. I did it this way because I get down when I do not lose any inches and I wanted to put a positive spin on it.
Let's look at the stats for the past 3 years, shall we?
Starting weight: 260
Current weight: 160.2
Lost weight: 100 pounds
Total of inches lost: -37.25"
Basically, that is what my waist is currently!
Saturday, August 06, 2011
Thank you everyone for the input on my last blog, "Now what?" Many suggested that I make some goals for strength training. Now this is a great idea.
When my focus was on my weight. It was easy. I just had to pick a number. I focused on each pound, at 10 pounds at a time. I didn't focus on the big picture of losing 100 pounds even through it was in the back of my mind. That would be just too overwhelming. In fact, I didn't even focus on a pant size. I just wanted to be smaller.
In the past, when strength training was a goal, the goal was to just DO it because I despise with such a passion.
I think I need a more specific goal when it comes to strength training. But, I don't know how to create a more specific goal.
Like, how does one measure it?
It does help but how often and who will take these photos? I want to see the toning and you can't do that with clothes on. Getting the drift?
Taking measurements doesn't always show that I am toned. For example, my legs have became more toned since running but they have stayed the same size.
Picking a pant size?
This won't work for me because pant size vary from store to store. In other words, I do not feel like it would be a consistent way to measure. Even brands that I love, I have found are inconsistent.
Aiming to increase the weight I can lift?
Now that might work. I could focus on lifting for the next dumbbell and the next and the next... until I am . This might work because I can focus on a concrete number and it is in my control.
Okay, now that we have figured out how I am going to measure... now I decide how I am going to lift.
In the beginning, I used weight machines. They were fine but now I am incredibly bored by them. I have been trying to learn more about free weights. That seems to be working. I feel like I have been just dipping my toe into it. It's time I get a little more wet with them.
So, I think I am going to make some concrete plans that separate my lifting between muscle group. In other words, it is time to get serious about free weight training.
Also, I seem to like to do things where I can throw things, like medicine balls and kettlebells. So, time to get friendly with google to find new ways to work out with a medicine ball and save my pennies for an unlimited month of kettlebell classes.
One last thing...
I have been doing my strength training after my cardio. Should I keep it there or do it in between my cardio or before cardio? I find if I do it after, I have less motivation. If I do it in between, I tend to lose motivation/time for cardio. If I do it before cardio, I get inpatient for my endorphin high. (And, yes, I am a cardio junkie!)
Okay! I think we got it all figured out... thanks for listening and helping me!
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