Thursday, December 17, 2009
How do you know when you have truly fallen off the weight loss wagon?
It seems like there are so many times that I have "fallen" off but I still muster on. I still muster but just not with as much enthusium. Like I still eat right.. I still exercise.. at what point do I know I have fallen off? When I gain my weight back? When I eat crappy all the time? When I don't exercise? When I don't attempt it anymore? When do I call in the support troops?
I mean like I haven't worked out consequectively for two weeks now. I have been crazy busy with the end of the semester and than finals. Part of me is like that is NO excuse.. if it is important to me, I will make it a priority.. But than I still eat right but if I have a bad day and go all crazy with eating terrible my body has a tizzy. My gall bladder has really painful cramps and tends to wake me up in the early morning hours.. like between 2 am and 5 am. So, again, I ask you how do I know when to go in the troops or if it is a just a mishap or a false alarm?
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Recently I participated in a 5K Run/Walk with merely no support. It really opened my eyes on how much I depend on support. On Saturday, I almost did not go but than friends on here and my family members sent me messages of support in one form or another. This got me to thinking about how people would be asking me how the run went. I thought about the excuses that I could offer for why I did not go when people were spending their money on me. The excuses seemed.. lame and weak! I eventually got out of bed and got to the race just in time to check-in (I pre-registered).
It was okay. I did not do anything spectacular but I did finish. I did decide that I am going to wait to run the half marathon in June and try to focus my goals towards running a full 5K and than focusing the goals on actually competing in the 5K races. Maybe after I have places a few times, I will be ready to move onto big races - like a 10K or aHalf Marathon. I think this way when I complete in the Grandma's Half Marathon - I will feel so much more accomplished and ready!!!
This got me to thinking about how much I do lean on support and really miss it when it is gone. I realized that this past summer my support really helped me. When I was laying in bed on Saturday, I realized if no one is supporting me - I am there supporting and proud of myself. It is not like I will be too busy or have other obligations that I cannot support me.
On that note, I know it is just me.. I guess I know I will never - NEVER - give up. I may temporally stop for a couple days but usually it does not take much to get back on track.
See you all on the journey..
Sunday, November 22, 2009
This week is Thanksgiving and approximately about a month after that is Christmas. I love and hate both holidays. In my family, our socializing is focused around food. Honestly, this year it scares me. I not only want to continue onto my weight loss but also I do not want to gain even five pounds. After reading the message boards about how not to succomb to the evilness of the wonderful food that are around the holidays I decided to take their tips and put it in a concise plan for myself. This blog is for whoever is reading it and myself. I figure I can look back before Christmas and remind myself what my plan is.
-Plan out the calories by looking them up before hand
-Take a walk before the big meal
Christmas with Immediate Family
-Bring foods/meals that I enjoy and fill up on
-Go for a small walk or go on my sister's elliptical
Christmas with Extended Family
-Have ColdFusion on the way down so I am full. I am hoping I will not fill up on the "before" entrees
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Lately I have been noticed that I have been letting my weaknesses get the better of me and my continuous weight loss. I am going to state my weaknesses - I am hoping by sharing them, I will be able to work though them and they no longer will be pitfalls.
I find that when I have stressful periods in my life, it does affect my weight loss. I find this ironic since I work out when the stress gets to me to give myself some "Me" time and to stop thinking about it. I tend to think about things until I am about to go crazy.
In the last month, I have had a lot of changes with my friends. With my weight loss, my friends were my number one support but they are not so much anymore. Maybe it is because classes has them busy.. I don't know. Anyhow, it seems like my family is supportive but I do not think they understand what I am going through. Because my support system is kinda MIA, I feel alone. Maybe, this is just a phase I am going though, I don't know.
As the end of the semester gets closer (only FOUR weeks left!), I find myself having busier days in where I go to work, class, volunteer and work out. Somehow between all that, I find time to get my homework done. I guess I realize with busier days, I do not always take time to eat correctly. I tend to eat out when I am tired at the end of day and do not feel like cooking or preparing food.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
On this weight loss journey, it seems like no one really sees my bad days. We all have bad days. I am going to tell you about my bad eating day. Before I tell you about my bad eating day, I should probably tell you the reason for it. The reason for it is: stress. Somehow, I do not think that came as a huge surprise. More specifically, the stress is that I am in a harassment situation at school and it is quite serious. I think it was just all getting to me. On Friday, when I learned that it went to the Dean's counsel and I got mediated because of it, I stayed home and relaxed. Than Saturday, I got out of town and visited my aunt. That was really nice and relaxing. As soon as I got back into town and saw my building, I felt the stress come back. *deep breath* On Sunday, I went on a really long walk and lifted after wards. I ended up being gone four hours. I no longer want to be in the building or in my room because all I do is think about it. I don't want to think about it anymore. That is also another reason I haven't gone to class today because all I do is think about it and not really focus on the class. Like yesterday, I went to stats and doodled the whole class period and I doubt I learned anything. I tried to focus but just couldn't.
Anyhow, that brings us to yesterday and my eating habits. Overall, I probably did not have a bad day eating but than I went shopping with Will and you know what I needed to emotionally eat. I tried relaxing. I tried exercise. Neither of those worked, so I defaulted back to what I have done for years. I ate. What did I eat? A whole box of swiss roll cakes except one. Will made sure to have one so I couldn't say I had the whole box.. haha! Than after that, I went out for a drink with Bobby which probably was not the least amount of calories but at that point, I didn't care. It was really nice. I got to sit and relax. We joked around and it was so nice to not feel. That is also the reason I slept in today.. I couldn't handle feeling or thinking about it anymore so I ignored it by sleeping in.. and ignoring life.
Anyhow, after yesterday, I was like I really do not want to weigh myself today - especially after that box of swiss roll cakes. Sunday I gained two pounds after going to Chinese on Saturday which made me 225.8 and this morning I was 225.2. So, I guess my emotionally eating really wasn't that bad.
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