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THANK YOU!!! :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Thank you for all the kind, supportive comments and voting for my blog, "That's Not Fair" as a popular post.

There were a few points that people have brought up that I wanted to address.

Many people said she was envious. I completely agree. I understand being jealous. Who can't? We've all been there. With that said, I do not find it is not okay to say snide, hurtful remarks.

The last couple days she has been getting ready for a humanitarian trip in where she will be in east Asia for ten days. I imagine she is stressed. In the days, I hung out with her, I felt like she was more irritable and it made me wonder if she may could have been going through a bipolar flare up.

In addition to jealously, some mentioned talking to her hurtful comment. Now, this is a great idea except she is leaving town for three weeks (she went home for a week to visit family before leaving for Asia). I feel like if I bring it up now, it will add to her stress. If I bring it up when she comes back, I will be making a mountain out of a mole hole. It will be better for all of us if I find a way to let it go. Still working on this.

Others were upset that I was criticizing her for where I once was. I was hurt by her comment. Like I said before, it's her choice to eat what she wants. Yes, I would love to see her eat healthier but it is HER choice. I don't say comments because I feel it is not my place to do so. Also, I remember exactly how it felt to want to lose weight but wasn't in the right place at the time. When we go out, she understands I am getting water and I am getting a salad. Most the time she respects it. It's just other times I feel guilty because I am making her feel guilty.

In the past, we have talked about pop addiction and we have gone for walks together. So, I guess, slowly I am rubbing off on my friends and family.

In addition to all this, some suggested that I should weed my garden. In other words, let it go as a friend. Recently, I have had to do this with a different friend. I am happier. But, this friend I feel she is a good friend. She listens to me whenever I need someone to listen to. I feel she is fairly supportive of my weight loss. In fact, when we went shopping once, I thought I fit into a size 8. Later I found out it was a size 12 - talk about disappointment, lol! Anyhow, she was the first to start the hugging party and to tell the clerk. I tell to shy away to telling people about my weight loss. I guess what I am saying it is not fair to judge her on this one mishap. No one is perfect. I think sometimes I seem to have SO much fun losing weight, working out and eating right that she doesn't see my struggles.

So, with all this said, please know she is a good friend and I wrote in anger and hurt. We all need a place to vent and for me, Sparkpeople is that place!

Thanks everyone for commenting, and listening. It has really helped me!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 5/26/2011 2:47PM

  Hi Savannah......
One of the best parts of this site is that we can vent to each other. We are pretty much in the same boat and understand each other quite well. You probably hit it right on the head with your friend possibly being stressed because of all she has going right now. It doesn't excuse a hurtful comment, but if she really is a good friend, you can see what happens after she returns. If she is still hurtful, you can talk to her about it, and go from there.
I wish you the best run ever.........9 days........ I hope that you have fun and meet lots of cool people.
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Patti

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LUCYLU221 5/26/2011 11:46AM

    I am so glade you could vent here. You are right that is what we are here for. To listen and give some advice. And for it to help you in anyway it can. Everyone needs some place and someone to listen. So glade we could help. And I am glade you are able to work it out. Friends are hard to come by. No matter what others think.

Hope you are having a great day.

Val



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REMEMBER2BME 5/26/2011 8:28AM

    It looks like you have it all straight in your head and I happen agree with your thoughts. emoticon

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BOOTS1221 5/26/2011 7:53AM

    Girl, you got it! You should be able to come to SP and vent, and that doesn't mean you hate this girl or that she's not a good friend. She said something that bugged you, simple as that! I hope you're having a great week :)

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STITCHINGNAN 5/26/2011 4:00AM

    You have it right We have to accept friends as they are .I have a very good friend who says I am LUCKY to lose weight! We all know it isnt luck but hard work.
But I just smile now at such comments. Though I do struggle to smile when she tells me I looked better when I was fat! I say but I FEEL better and thats what matters. Ree

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HANNAHV 5/26/2011 3:27AM

    emoticonand emoticons!

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GERMANPICKLE 5/26/2011 1:50AM

  Girl, you do what's right for you! Way to go.

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FULLOFFAITH 5/26/2011 1:44AM

    I personally loved your blog. You have the right to speak your mind. It's nice to know that others go thru the same struggles and we are not alone.

Lisa

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1CRAZYDOG 5/25/2011 11:09PM

    It happens to us all and you're right. This is a safe place for venting!

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PSALM42 5/25/2011 10:36PM

    emoticon

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

"That's not fair."

Monday, May 23, 2011

"That's not fair."

Tonight, after being persuaded to go out to Perkins when 1) I didn't feel like company and 2) I couldn't afford it, I was telling my friend that I got down to 164 point something.

That is what she said.

"That's not fair."

She quickly covered it up.

This is after she persuaded me to go.
This is after I ordered a salad.
This is after she ordered soda to drink.

Now, don't get me wrong.. eat whatever you want. That is YOUR business. I don't care until YOU tell ME it is unfair that I keep losing weight.

Excuse, but what is SO unfair about this?

Is it the part that work out everyday?
Is it the part that I try to order water consistently?
Is it the part that I am running more than I ever have in my life?

Which part of this is UNFAIR to YOU?

Seriously, which part?

To put the icing on the cake, I was guilt tripped into going. And, the more I think about all of it, it royally ticks me off. And, even more, hurts me.

So, it all started when she came to MY room to ask me to go out to eat. Now, I have been friends with her BEFORE I started losing weight TWO years ago.

She knows the drill.
She knows I order water.
She knows I will most likely get a salad. (As she pointedly gave me the salad menu tonight.)

Anyhow, I was like I don't care where we eat and in the next breath she is excusing me of basically saying I don't care but than when she suggests somewhere to eat, she suggests fried food, I suggest somewhere else. I know it seems like I am being difficult. Hello, I have been doing this for two years, and she can't get it that I don't care where we eat as long as they have healthy choices?!!! I'm sorry Applebee's half priced appetizers are not calorie friendly.

It's really sad 'cuz my family is getting it (and I am rubbing off on them) and one of my best friends even gets it. I don't care what THEY get, honestly. Sure, I'd love for them to eat healthy but I also know how it feels like not choosing that lifestyle... yet. Fine. But, don't judge me on MY lifestyle, the way I choose to eat.

Maybe she feels guilty. She says comments. I try to brush them off. Tonight, it was just that much harder. Sure, I want to order the things that are terrible for me but...

It means SO much more to know I have lost nearly 100#.
It means SO much more to know I CAN run 8 miles.. and eventually, longer!
It means SO much more to know I CAN teach my children a healthy lifestyle!

So, which part of this is unfair to her?! Which part?

Because, you know what?

I work my BUTT off every single day. It's not easy. No one said it would be. Besides, nothing worth having is easy!

Everyday I struggle to eat right.
Everyday I struggle to keep my workout fresh and want to!
Everyday I struggle to accept this new me.

You know what? I deserve this. I deserve everything reward of losing this weight... because I worked my BUTT off, every single day.

Damn it!

Could someone please tell me which part of this is unfair to HER?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRAVACHASER 6/2/2011 12:22PM

    Nothing about it is unfair, and my bottom line has always been that I don't need to explain myself to anyone. And you don't either! Keep up the good work!

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SUSIEMT 6/1/2011 10:19AM

    Good job! You did great. Now you need to work on being guilted into to things. But that will come! Keep up the good work!

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SHEILAB64 5/30/2011 4:29PM

    I think you need to tell her what you posted here. Some people need to be educated. It can be done in a nice way but some people need to be stopped.

My answer when someone asks me if I want something to eat is to say, "Yes, but I am not having any because I am following a strict food plan and I don't want to sabatoge it but I would love a glass of water."

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CHAIR_ANA 5/27/2011 10:20PM

    Good on you, don't you EVER let it get you down!

I know it hurts, boy do I... but you have to do what YOU need to do, for YOUR health.
You are on the path to being the best version of you, and to be able to stay on that path later when you have children and to teach them healthy habits -- that is SO wonderful -- and RARE these days, too!
Be proud of what you've accomplished; most people just can't do it.
Most people refuse to do what is necessary for their own wellbeing (and sometimes for the wellbeing of their loved ones).
You have gone above and beyond what most people accomplish in a "diet" (that's why it's better to just "live a healthier lifestyle" instead of "go on a diet").

Do like the peacocks do -- STRUT YOUR STUFF!!! emoticon

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REDLACED 5/27/2011 5:56PM

    love it!

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IHAVETOO10 5/27/2011 3:22PM

    Oh the choice between friends and food.

It's very sad that a friend isn't being supportive and fair to you. Unfortunately, there comes a certain point in this journey where you have to cut off negativity. This might be that point. Have you tried to talk to her about her health? Is she resentful that she can't commit or stick to a healthier lifestyle?
I wish you Good Luck & Continue Success.
Your an inspiration to me.
Maureen

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KKKAREN 5/27/2011 9:06AM

    You do deserve it! You deserve it all!

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MOMMYTO5CUTIES 5/26/2011 11:16PM

    Your doing amazing maybe she is jealous but hasn't worked up the strength to start her own journey? I don't know I'm just assuming she's not super skinny.
EVEN if she is thin she could be unhealthy....

Don't let it get to you, just keep doing what your doing!!!

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AMYJO3030 5/26/2011 8:21PM

    some friends cant handle the loss of the friend you once shared the connetion of the same addiction. food.

some friends, cant stand to see others succed.they are jealous and want ot sabatage your success.

some people are just negative and should not be considered a friend even though they used to be.

There is nothing unfair about the work you have done. Keep up the good work.

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FULLOFFAITH 5/26/2011 1:39AM

    People are incredible. I always get how did you do it Like it was magic. I am like I get up mon-fri at 4:15am and hit the treadmill I say no to the crap the co-workers bring in. I bring my own lunch. I only drink water or tea. No magic pill people. Good for you keep up the hard work.

Lisa

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MYAKAYAH 5/26/2011 12:20AM

    Basically I would avoid eating out with her since she hasn't received the hint. I think she makes the comments to you because she is noticing the change in you and your weight and she is envious likely right? She doesn't have the mentality to realise she needs to lose weight and get healthy. Until one decides for themselves to change and make the commitment to do so then they will stay as they are.

People see us changing and they don't know how to deal with it. Avoid the guilt feelings and don't eat out with her because you are doing such a fabulous job with your goals and getting stronger and healthy. It isn't unfair that you are getting results because you are working at it. When you drink soda, eat fried or processed foods and don't exercise you know what happens right?

Keep being excellent to yourself since you deserve it, avoid the roadblocks with the friend and you won't feel the guilt.

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KAREN1924 5/26/2011 12:10AM

    Sad. I have to say I have very few "good" friends and honestly this is the reason why. My best buddies husband is a great guy but when you walk in his house the first thing he will ask you is if you want something to eat or snack on. Bless his heart (he is a snack king, and would probably be huge if not for the hard work he does everyday, he's a logger) he means nothing by it. His wife invited me up just to shoot the crap and I arrived and he attempted but she cut him off quick and said "See Greg I told you she would not eat anything." Which I thought was cool that she told him I was really trying to eat healthy. No one was offended and all was great.
I have a right smart temper on me and don't think I would have handled that comment well at all. You did great and I think you handled it wonderfully, even if you did get mad later. I think I would have had to vent on her. And yes, JEALOUS would be the word for the day! Still eating badly and not working to do anything about it and make that comment? I think I would have had to say "How's that working for ya'? You may have to let her know how you feel, so as not to cause a big upset that may happen down the road. The best thing is you showed her WHO was in CONTROL! Great going!

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BIG_TREE 5/25/2011 8:10PM

    I don't claim to be an expert at this, but my wife and I are consistent in saying "No" to invitations to dinner or joining friends (or family) for a trip to a restaurant. It's the only thing that works for us, and while it can be a bit annoying to some folks at first, they soon get used to it and there are no chances of hurt feelings later on.

Recent Example: The doorbell rang. A neighbor (and they are dear friends) asked us to come over for dinner to celebrate their child's birthday. We're quite fond of them and their children and see them practically every day. What we told them is that we would come over to watch him open his presents and to sing him Happy Birthday, but could not stay for dinner because of the strict diet we're on. She tried convincing us that she would make low-calorie chicken or the like, but we know they'll have heaps of finger foods, free-flowing wine, bread, and all the things we've sworn off until we reach our goal weight. Period. No hard feelings, and in fact I detected some measure of respect. She even observed that she could already tell a difference in my weight (and I've only been on the diet nine days!).

So, learn to say "No" to invitations unless you can agree up front on all the ground rules. You've been at this much longer than we have, so I can understand how a flat "no" might find you without many friends after awhile. It's a tough situation, and you're the only one who knows what is "fair" to you. Stick to your guns!

Best of luck with your goals, and with your friends!

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NANASNOW 5/25/2011 4:51PM

    She wasn't thinking of your fairness at all. I hope you drank that water and ate that salad and told her it wasn't fair of her to put temptation in your way! Good for you!

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SHELLEY81 5/25/2011 2:39PM

    Ahhhhhh. I think we all have a friend like this. At least you are able to stick to your guns and know that this is for YOU and that she isn't guilting you into fried foods or beer.

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LINDSEYBO 5/25/2011 1:35PM

    Friends can be a royal pain in the butt! Well so can husbands really haha. You deserve to keep your success going and if she doesn't want to be supportive well Boo to her! I would tell her I no longer want to eat out with her until she respects my decisions about my body...thank you have a nice day! Seriously! Hang out outside of food it would probably work better! Congrats to you!

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BLACKROSE_222 5/25/2011 1:20PM

    I haven't had to put up with too many friends like this (although sometimes the comments do come through - lately I've been getting a lot of "Whats your secret?" comments) - but I've heard of several people on here who have. And they essentially had to go through and take a look at their friendships, and see which ones were bringing them down. I'm sorry your friend is acting like that, and maybe a discussion with her about it will be required. emoticon

GREAT JOB on your progress!!!

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HEALTHY4ME 5/25/2011 5:10AM

    Well THANK YOU!!!!!!! I have a case of the I don't want to-s this morning and instead of getting on the bike, I put the puter on, first time in while now. So this was the first thing I read this morning.
So excuse me, I have to leave the puter for at least 15 mins and go get my exercise in. Still not in the mood for the bike, but that doesn't mean that coach nicole doesn't need some company for a bit today.
I am sorry that your friend is doing that, especially so far along the journey, maybe it finally hit her that hey she is not changing back and I am biting the dust here..........
CONGRATS on your journey and keep on running you will soon be way up to 10!
HUGS and again thanks cos you motivated me today!

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FATHINSN 5/25/2011 12:21AM

    I think she should respect your choice, especially when it's been 2 years you've been selecting better, healthier choices. If she really wants to go to those fried place where there's no healthy menu for you to choose, instead of persuading, pressurig you to go, she can either 1) find other place where you two can get your own choices or 2) get other people to go with her to that fried place.

Personally, I think it's irritating when people close to you seems hard to accept that you want to choose the healthier food, healthier lifestyle (or at least trying to, in my case, still in training to choose the healthier way).

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MELLYBEANS0919 5/24/2011 11:20PM

    Big congrats to you first of all! And it sounds like she is jealous, wants what you have and will not put the effort into it.



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PLUMCRAZY79 5/24/2011 9:38PM

  sounds to me like she is jellous of u and wastrying to guilt trip u into eating something u didnt want to. good way to stick to to ur guns and not over do it. Nothing was unfair. She knows u are teying to loose weight and she knows u like water and I dont find anything upsetting at all bacause I do the same thing when I go out so GOOD FOR U!!!!! emoticon

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EDWINA172 5/24/2011 9:38PM

    UGH! I don't know what I would have said to someone that said those words to me. You should be very proud of your progress. Your friend wants the results without doing the work. You've earned your outcome. She needs to grow up. Sad.

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BIGHAIRGAL 5/24/2011 9:00PM

    What is "unfair" is that she doesn't have the inner strength, courage or perseverance to pursue her goals, like you have pursued yours. And what is totally fair is that you are a winner!!! emoticon

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AMJSATURN 5/24/2011 7:57PM

    You deserve absolutely everything you have worked hard and achieved. That is not fair "is that she will not think about you and only what she wants"!!!
emoticon emoticon for posting this blog.


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KLONG8 5/24/2011 7:24PM

    Sometimes we have friends "in crime" - people who remember the old days. People who don't want to have to look at how much better, healthier, happier you are because you took the tough path. Don't let her get to you...obviously she wants you to collapse in a pigout with her and you don't do that anymore.

You may decide that you need to avoid her for a while. I'm guessing you've talked to her about how hard you work, how important this is to you, and how much better you feel. You've probably mentioned that it's really HARD to do this and her comments carry more weight than she thinks. I'm guessing she "can't help herself" and if that's the case you DO have some choices to make.

Congratulations on doing a wonderful job turning your life around!

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LMLOPEZ 5/24/2011 7:04PM

    I think she meant(or should have) that it's NOT fair that she can't eat what she wants and ride on the coattails of your success. Why can't people just get the same results using osmosis? Why does it have to be so hard??
I know it can be frustrating. Either have a heart to heart or you gave to lose the toxicity. At least know that she notices and that maybe someday your influence will rub off. Keep up your good work!!

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SHARBEAR100 5/24/2011 6:58PM

    You're right, she's unfair to you! Everyone wants easy, and they don't understand why they can't have what you have, but without doing the work.

I have a friend who has tried every diet under the sun. She doesn't want to change her lifestyle, she wants easy. She's currently doing the 17 day diet, and before that it was the HGC diet, and before that it was...

You are doing great! Keep the positive people in your life and don't worry about the rest. emoticon emoticon

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JDELEON81 5/24/2011 6:51PM

    It's only unfair to not have support from everyone around you. It makes me not want to hang out with people I know that keep trying to push fast food in my face. I hope you continue doing a great job! Good luck!

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DI_NAMIC 5/24/2011 6:33PM

    Loved this Blog. You've expressed something that has riled me too from time to time. Sometimes the 'saboteur' can be a family member too, which is sad.

I can only keep on top of my weight by making conscious choices each step of the way. If I don't stay with it, I swear the fat cells fill up overnight. However - fair/unfair - such is life and I'm aiming to make mine the healthiest one I can.

Lots of luck and success to you on your journey!

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DESERTFLOWERG 5/24/2011 5:54PM

    Funny, I can't relate to this because it hasn't been "hard work" for me -- it's been a blast. My only complaint is that I still have to spend long hours every day sitting at a desk when I would prefer to be moving. . . Physical activity helps you lose weight and be in shape, lifts your mood, increases your physical health and mental acuity, and, on top of all that, it's so much fun! So, I would feel sorry for the "jealous" friend who is simply missing out, not angry.

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GRANDMASHOUSE 5/24/2011 5:13PM

    Great blog post! REALLY great blog post!

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VPOPPY01 5/24/2011 5:00PM

    Ugh, I hate excusers (people who constantly make excuses), but you know, we've got to just keep on keeping on and ignore those negative nancy's and eventually they'll get the picture or just realize not to hang out with you anymore

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 5/24/2011 4:23PM

    Great post

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MSJULES01 5/24/2011 4:13PM

    Congrats on being a popular blog.
Also congrats on how far you have come.


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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 5/24/2011 4:10PM

    Some people feel so guilty when around those of us who have lost weight, especially when they could stand to lose a few pounds themselves, that they like to make light of it, or pretend it was easy, or believe, "that it's NOT FAIR." Those of us who have walked down the same road as you, know FAIR is not part of the equation. I used to think it wasn't fair that I got the FAT gene and not the SKINNY gene. Why did I want to eat too much and the wrong fattening food? Why was I so weak when it came to food choices? WHY WHY WHY????
And then I learned I'm NOT weak, and everybody has a fat gene inside of them, and they are either FAT, or they learn to control it. They learn to say NO to the fattening food and YES to the exercise and eating RIGHT! I learned I CAN make those choices that are necessary to lose the weight and hopefully to now keep it off. And friends like that are never going to understand. So you either leave them along the wayside, or you learn to accept them as they are. Eventually your weight loss will not be important to her anymore, and she'll forget about it. Probably sooner rather than later, because obviously she is very jealous of you. That might make your friendship easier to endure. But if you have to ENDURE a friendship, do you really want to be in that relationship? Your choice!

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POTENCIA 5/24/2011 3:57PM

    Really. really. good. blog.

Jealousy is the part of losing weight that we don't look forward (and sometimes don't even anticipate) but voilą, it appears when we least expect it!

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POTENCIA 5/24/2011 3:57PM

    Really. really. good. blog.

Jealousy is the part of losing weight that we don't look forward (and sometimes don't even anticipate) but voilą, it appears when we least expect it!

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POTENCIA 5/24/2011 3:56PM

    Really. really. good. blog.

Jealousy is the part of losing weight that we don't look forward (and sometimes don't even anticipate) but voilą, it appears when we least expect it!

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POTENCIA 5/24/2011 3:54PM

    Really. really. good. blog.

Jealousy is the part of losing weight that we don't look forward (and sometimes don't even anticipate) but voilą, it appears when we least expect it!

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WADINGMOOSE 5/24/2011 2:52PM

    As someone who isn't so far removed from sitting across a table from someone successful and thinking "that's not fair," I can only guess at what she was thinking. For me, it wouldn't have been the hard work you're doing. It would've been feeling as though I were left behind - my own fault, yes, but it still hurt and sucked being in that situation.

I wouldn't have wanted pity from my friend. I would've wanted help and support. Maybe instead of getting angry and/or frustrated have a conversation with her about what is stopping her from making the changes you have. Have an honest discussion with her about how it isn't easy.

It is hard to see your friends have something you want, but aren't ready to work for yet. Maybe a push in the right direction from a friend would help her become a partner with you in weight loss, rather than a weight dragging us down in our success?

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ERIKA05 5/24/2011 1:39PM

    Oh, come on now... You have kids. You know what she means when she says "That's not fair"...
She means "Why can't I have the thing I didn't work for and won't truly appreciate RIGHT. NOW."
She means "What you have worked hard for, I should just have. Because I. WANT. IT."
She means "I wish I could be in your shoes without having to walk a single step."
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In short, like a 5 year old who shrieks "No Fair!" when it's bedtime, when they drop their ice cream cone on the ground, or when they discover, to their amazement, that schoolyard rules that apply to everyone else also apply to them... your friend has no idea what "fair" means.

You aren't moaning and sighing from soft drink or dessert jealousy. I'm sure you didn't turn around and say to her "it's not FAIR that you're eating all that stuff and I'm not" so she should show you the same courtesy. That would be the adult thing to do. That would be fair. But some people? Some people are stuck on the playground. Don't let them trap you there with them.

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JOANIEBUG46 5/24/2011 1:32PM

    My Mom was a slim woman all her life; she was the model of moderation and self discipline. One time someone said to her, "You're so lucky to be so slim". She just smiled but I remember her as we were going home. She said, "It has nothing to do with luck. It's all about self discipline." My mother was a very private person and never critical of others, so that always stuck with me.
Don't let anyone ever discourage you from reaching for your dreams. JUST GO FOR IT!!! Maybe your friend will eventually get on board and maybe she never will, but that's not under your control.

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CALLIKIA 5/24/2011 1:22PM

    What isn't fair is her guilt tripping you into eating at a place that doesn't have any options for you. What if you were allergic to something, or vegetarian by choice? Would she think about where you could eat then?

You're right to stick up for yourself. It's plenty fair. You put in the work, you're reaping the rewards.

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RG_DFW 5/24/2011 1:14PM

    In life, a lot of people will try to bring you down to their level, whether consciously or not. It's human nature.

Perhaps your friend needs gentle encouragement to reach the same goals as you. If she can't and continues to harm your efforts, it will put a strain on your friendship.

Good luck

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KIMREX 5/24/2011 12:31PM

    You should definitely be proud of yourself and keep on making better choices.

I don't know how close of a friend this is, but I have discovered that there are people around me who are afraid of what is going to happen to our relationship if I reach my goals. Will I leave them behind as well. It made no sense to me and their reactions to what I viewed as success was hurtful until we had a heart to heart conversation about it.

That may not be the case here, but thought it might be food for thought.

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CHUBBYMOMMY86 5/24/2011 12:30PM

    I gotta tell you, I know where she's coming from. The hardest part of getting fit is finding your motivation. You have that and she does'nt. Maybe she has some emotional health issue that your not aware of. My sister lost a ton of weight, I was so jelous and so sad at not being worth anything that it was easiest to direct my problems at her. But that wasnt right. Just be patient and constructive with her.
Best thing to do is point out that the choices she makes aren't yours.
And keep doing what your doing. You may not know it but your her role model and if its in her head that its not fair, then your making an impression. And a super positive one at that.

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DEBLYNN323 5/24/2011 12:09PM

    In her mind, it's unfair that you have the willpower she so needs in order to succeed!

You keep working your program, and Kudos to you for continuing to make healthy choices even when you are put in unhealthy circumstances!!

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LALA0123 5/24/2011 12:07PM

    emoticon

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KAITMEND 5/24/2011 11:59AM

    Be proud of your accomplishments and don't let anyone bring you down about it. She doesn't understand that it actually takes hard work to lose weight/be fit - it didn't come for free!

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VWINTERS27 5/24/2011 11:50AM

  I stand with KAYWEB. Don't let your so called "friend" make this about her - it's about you and your success.

And maybe it's time for new friends - people who share your desire to live an active and healthy life!

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A Cleanse of Restaurants

Monday, May 09, 2011

I feel fat.

The end.

Really. It is that simple. It doesn't matter that I am not "fat" but rather that I FEEL fat. I hate feeling fat. Why? Well, because that is why I started losing weight.

I have been eating out alot lately and it needs to stop. For awhile at least. It's not good for my wallet nor my waist line nor my self esteem. I feel gross and bloated nearly every time, never mind, guilty. I really enjoy the company... but we may need to find new activities. I know I could be strict with myself.. but the thing is.. I splurge like EVERY time. Not okay. In the beginning, it was oh, it was okay.. it's just once and a while.. and now it seems like ALL the time!

I am going to go on a cleanse of sorts (or try to). I think I am going to try to not go out to eat until the end of May. Even thinking about it, it sounds hard. It shouldn't be. It's three weeks?

Also, I want to try to go out for only "special occasions". But, what are special occasions? Thursday I went out to eat because a friend I have seen for a month or so came up to visit. Tonight I went out to celebrate a trip being paid for and her senior thesis being completed. I will have work on that kink.

In addition to that, I think I am going to start calorie counting again. Honestly, I hate it. I beat myself up about going over 100 calories... I know it's not a big deal but tell that to the side of me that wants to be "perfect" ALL the time. I know, I know. I can't be perfect... but that doesn't stop me from WANTING to be perfect and do everything perfect. Anyways, I am hoping it will keep me on track since I am faltering.

This summer those TEN little pounds ARE coming off! One way or another!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADAMES 5/24/2011 9:19PM

    Eating out is very hard. My husband loves to go out to eat, and he asks me out several times a week. it is so much easier to eat in the controlled setting of your own kitchen!!

I understand your dilemma.


Evelyn

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PATRICIAANN46 5/13/2011 6:15PM

  Hi Savannah...........
Your idea of only special occasions is a good one, but so is choosing restaurants that have very healthy choices. Maybe you could also combine eating out with an activity afterward where you would burn more calories. Take a long walk after or depending on the friends, maybe even a run.
You are such a pro at all of this, I know you will come up with the right solution. Try to stay away from too much perfection though.........then it turns into a chore that is NO fun at all.
Take Care. emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 5/10/2011 11:54AM

    I think you have some very good ideas! emoticon emoticon

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ELLEYKAT 5/10/2011 9:54AM

    YOU CAN DO IT!!! Yes, counting calories can be hard, especially if you're a bit of a perfectionist and going over by even 2 calories makes you beat yourself up (yeah, been there, done that). Try not to let it get to you, and keep with it!

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FUNFROG79 5/10/2011 8:24AM

    Hang in there! Sounds like you have a great tracking plan and those 10 lbs will be gone in a flash!

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FRECKS96 5/10/2011 7:27AM

    I totally am feeling your pain. I have decided that I have a classic case of the "buts"...

But, I'm training for a HM
But, it Mother's Day
But, it's just "this once"
But, someone's got to eat it

The list goes on and on. I'm thinking I need to adjust my goals and start tracking again too. Good luck to us both!

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PSALM42 5/10/2011 6:37AM

    I know, eating out is so hard. It's easier for me now because with 2 small kids going out to eat (unless it is alone) is so much harder than fixing something at home. Doesn't mean I never think about going out.

It might be fun to cook something together with a friend. You can talk and cook at the same time, make something healthy, and then enjoy the fruit of your labors!

I once tried eating more to lose weight (when I was breastfeeding) and it worked a lot of the time but I felt bloated and fat. Even though I was still overweight (ugh, still am) I just feel better/thinner when I'm putting the right stuff, in the right amounts, into my body.

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Rules of Training

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Starting a new program can be very overwhelming. Ask all the new people to this site and how overwhelming a lifestyle change can be. There are all these Do's and Don'ts. When I started training for my half marathon, it was no different. It was do this or don't do that.

In the last few weeks, I have become overwhelmed by all the "rules". I didn't realize that training was so much more than just running. I not only had to watch what nutrients that were being put into my body, I now had to make sure I was getting electrolytes back into my body. If that wasn't enough, I had to worry about trying a "snack" 45 minutes into my long runs. But, the "snack" couldn't be just anything. Nope. It needs to be 15 grams of carbs for every hour or something like that.

What happened to running for the love of it?!

I am trying to put the fun back into it by finding new routes and that helps alot. Also, I am experimenting with protein shakes because, you see, my appetite has been CRAZY. I just want all the junk food in sight. The healthy food has NO appeal! emoticon If that doesn't help curve my appetite, I have decided to try new recipes.

Because of this, I am not sure if I will do another half, honestly. I just want to show up to the race. I don't want to worry about my long runs every week. I don't want to worry about not eating enough carbs or even what to eat during my long runs. I just wanna run.

Does this mean I am a runner? Perhaps.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PSALM42 5/9/2011 5:21PM

    I think it's easier to relax once you've been through it before. Just like your first college semester--- :)

But have fun fellow RUNNER!

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1CRAZYDOG 5/9/2011 12:51PM

    Gotta agree . . . rules, schmools! Just do what feels right! You ARE a runner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You ARE doing it!!

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TOTALFOCUS 5/9/2011 12:22PM

    Wow! You are surely a runner! I wanna be like you one day!
I'm just a newby (walker/jogger). All I can say is claim your running title and run proudly! Show us new-comers how its done!



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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 5/9/2011 9:19AM

    I believe you ARE a runner! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FUNFROG79 5/9/2011 8:40AM

    Yup, you are a runner! emoticon

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FRECKS96 5/9/2011 7:17AM

    Eh, rules, shmools. You have to do what feels right for you. I hope you can still enjoy running, even as you discover what works best for YOUR body in regards to hydration and fuel.

Most of those Dos and Don'ts are just guidelines, if it doesn't fit your needs, work with what does. I don't always eat before a run, I rarely drink anything while I'm running and I don't stress about what I'm eating as long as I feel okay.

Good Luck and Happy Running!

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ROOT4HOME 5/9/2011 1:18AM

    You definitely are a runner...no specific mileage makes a runner. Just going out and running is all it takes...and you are one! emoticon

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TBITCON 5/9/2011 12:47AM

    you are def a runner! Don't get discouraged, just keep trucking. I no longer have a half to look forward too since I'm traveling this summer, and since I've realized it, the lack of pressure has been kind of awesome. I still stick to the plan, but cool to know that I'm doing it for fun, not because I have to. Even though I'm doing the exact same thing. I'm sure that you'll keep running after this half since you enjoy it :)

And yeah, chocolate is awesome. Snack on some of that. Try those chocolate pudding cups, only 60 calories and they help get the sweet tooth outta me.

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PATRICIAANN46 5/8/2011 10:39PM

  Hi Savannah..........
It's official.........YOU ARE A RUNNER!!!
Congratulations.........what a lifestyle change you have made. You are an emoticon emoticon.

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GREENEYES2020 5/8/2011 9:39PM

    Yes, you are a runner! Keep it up!

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A girl gotta have fun!

Friday, May 06, 2011

The last few days I have been in funk with my weight loss.. and have been trying to figure out what exactly is my issue.

I am not having FUN.

In the beginning, it used to be FUN to lose weight. In fact, I was excited about trying new things, seeing my weight go down, and learning all about the journey.

Right now, I am not trying anything new. Nope. I run my miles. No big deal. Once a week, I attempt a long run and have been cutting them short so no milestone there. Even my routes are the same. When I ran at my parents that was fun and exciting as it was something 70% new!

Once classes end, I think I need to find something NEW to do as right now life is BLAND.

Or... I could find new routes to run!

Anyhow, that was ah-ha! moment.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TOTALFOCUS 5/9/2011 12:27PM

   
I'm just thinking....
How about local running group or biking group in your community or going to a local park or hiking trail.
Either way...dont give up you've come so far!

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REMEMBER2BME 5/8/2011 7:46AM

    Great ah ha!!!! I think this is so true. It is for me. I have to stick with things I enjoy! Way to go!

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1CRAZYDOG 5/7/2011 11:30PM

    Yup . . . we all need variety . . . variety is the spice of life, as they say.



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ANEPANALIPTI 5/7/2011 7:58AM

    YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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FUNFROG79 5/7/2011 7:42AM

    Try zumba! Love it! When I got bored I looked in my city for fun workout things and stumbled across our Senior Center (NO JOKE). They have zumba, pilates, yoga, tennis etc etc. Get in there and have some fun!

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PSALM42 5/7/2011 6:01AM

    Yes, I got in the same routine when training because I didn't want to miss too much.

Go have fun! Gmaps has a pedometer and I use that to map out routes around our neighborhood, and it's so fun finding new little streets, or interesting looking houses.

Have you ever tried Zumba? (Now, that, is fun!)

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CYNTHIAMINUS40 5/6/2011 10:09PM

    I wish we lived closer, maybe some new running buddies would be fun. I used to have a group of girls to run with years ago. We all ran at our own pace along the same route and met up afterward for coffee.

How about a trip to Maui? We have some pretty places to run over here!

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PATRICIAANN46 5/6/2011 10:01PM

  Hi Savannah.........
You are right!!!!! When things become too routine, the Spark goes out of them and we become bored. Change is good. emoticon...........maybe even a trip?????

Above all......at your age.......Have Fun!

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