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I Need Support... HM Doubts!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

I need some serious support.

Right now, I feel like all the wind has been taken out of sails. This morning I tried to do my 6 mile run. The run turned into a 3 mile stop-and-go walk. This is not good. I needed to do my long run. How am I supposed to run 13 miles if I can't run 6?! *sigh* I am scared that if I don't get these 6 miles done soon, I won't be able to do the Half Marathon. emoticon

Honestly, I think it has alot to do with my emotions this morning. Before I even hit the trail at 9:30 am, I talked with my sister. She was talking about her youngest daughter. It made me really sad because I haven't seen her since New Year's. Than, I texted my other sister "Happy Easter" and she replied that it was a bummer I couldn't come down for Easter. On top of that, one of my friends sucked the energy out of me. Basically, she needed my support without even asking me how I am. Lately, she seems to always need my support and I get nothing in return. I find I do that with a few friends and so I am trying to be a better friend.

When I started to run, I was maybe going as fast as when I walk. It was such a struggle. So, I gave in. I than walked down on the rocks by Lake Superior. Listening to the water crash on the shores, I let the tears fall. Eventually, I walked back to my car.

Than, when I came back to my room, I did some homework than went to work. After work, I ran TWO miles. Even through it is something, my head is saying it is not good enough. You NEED to run the six miles. Part of me, just wants to give up. Throw in the towel. The other part of me is like I AM going to do this even IF I have to crawl over that finishing line. I feel like I am not going to be ready to run 13 miles on June 5th! In fact, if I had to do this over again, I'd want more time. With that said, I started right after I was sick for a month. So, I couldn't have started earlier.

So, those are my doubts.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUREAH21 4/25/2011 11:25PM

    I have had my share of bad run days and I think they make me stronger. A few things I've noticed about my bad run days, I either didn't get enough sleep or water the day and/or night before or I'm focusing too much on what's ahead of me.
Usually, the next run works out for me. Do an easy run for you on your next run day and just try to focus on the fun you get from running. Also, if you can start to think about something while you're running it might help. I often plan out my blog in my head and it's usually about the run, though I almost never end up actually writing it. It just helps me get through the hard spots.
Whatever you do, don't forget everyone has a bad run now and then.

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PATRICIAANN46 4/25/2011 9:35PM

  Hi Savannah..........
It sounds like you just had one bad run. There is plenty of time left to train and I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!! We all know what games our mind can play with our bodies. You had lots of negativity going on in your mind and it transferred to your body and sapped you of the needed energy.
Do you have a favorite song????? One that when you hear it your heart beat increases and you smile without thinking? If you do.......put it in your Ipod and listen to it when you run. Put all of that negativity in the garbage and be the YOU that you know you can be. Only positives when running........
I wish you the BEST!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 4/25/2011 8:53PM

    My dear girl. What I'm reading is a huge case of self-doubt. Have you ever heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy? If you don't think you can accomplish something you won't be able to. If you believe you CAN do something, and ignore those "coubting Thomas" voices in your head, you CAN accomplish it. I believe in you, Savannah. You CAN do this. You've been working towards this and you will do it!

You know., it is psychologically hard when someone sucks you dry. I just find that if that's how I'm feeling and this person just keeps unloading I will create a way to excuse myself. It's not easy, it's not fun, but when you have to, you have to!

HUGS!

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GETFIT2LIVE 4/25/2011 5:22PM

    There are bad runs, that's just the way it is--and emotions can wreak havoc on our ability to do anything other than cry some days! You can do this; it is mental almost more than it is physical. Hang in there and let it go, then go out fresh the next time and aim to have fun.

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DINGALLSTOO 4/25/2011 12:54PM

    you ran more miles than I did!!! I'm still at the walking stage, wondering if I can walk 5K. We'll never know if we don't try, and we won't be happy if we're always wondering. Keep on keeping on GF

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FRECKS96 4/25/2011 12:38PM

    So sorry you had such a rough run. But, you went out and added to your mileage-it sounds like you did 5 miles total-and sometimes that is even harder. You can do this. Keep your focus on why you want it and why you enjoy it. Run for the love of running, not to meet a time or distance goal.

Good Luck!

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JOAN_HEO 4/25/2011 10:31AM

    I'm guessing you didn't sleep well Saturday night, did you? Or you didn't get enough sleep. I struggle when I'm tired and it's very frustrating.

You have a month and a half so don't panic. I have faith that you can do this...YOU need to have faith in yourself!

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REMEMBER2BME 4/25/2011 8:14AM

    You can and WILL do this. I know, seriously because i have been there. I have crummy running days but we all have them. Some days I just do not feel it or have the rythem. You have time and you WILL have good days too. Allow yourself to have off days. Get back to that POSITIVE self talk. I find that it is 90% of it all. You ARE strong and you WILL do this. One day at a time little lady.

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WYOBZM 4/25/2011 8:13AM

    emoticon Stay relaxed and run by yourself. Nothing is worse than having someone take your energy.

Are you warming up? Walk the first 5 minutes and make sure you are hydrated and not overdressed.

Have you considered Jeff Galloway's approach. Run 2 minutes/walk 1 minute. States show you don't lose but 10-15 seconds a mile. He has a great web site.

WIth a solid base and the training you have, you will get your half done. You have six weeks. Stay strong. Let me know if you need a pep talk. You are committed and strong. School will be over....you just have a little too much stress right now. emoticon

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SPUD1226 4/25/2011 8:01AM

    I had the same problem last fall training for my half. I had a bad run the day I was trying to run 10 miles-I started late, the trail was flooded and I wasn't feeling good. The next week I just told myself it was a race and I had to finish the 10 miles-I got up, got ready and hit the trail.
You can do this!
Best of luck.

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RHONDALYN10 4/25/2011 7:49AM

    You can do it. Go out with the mentality that you are going to go do it and have fun. Who cares if you end up walking more than you wanted? Maybe try intervals - run for 10 min and walk for 2 or something.....
Best wishes!

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PHYSEDTEACHER 4/25/2011 7:22AM

    U can do it! and walk if u have to , and run when u can!

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PSALM42 4/25/2011 7:09AM

    I think you can do it Savannah! I think maybe there is a lot mentally/emotionally. Try to not focus on those things while running because it will bog you down. Have you tried listening to music? You can make a playlist with upbeat music, and maybe your favorite right about the tme you find yourself struggling and need a boost? It is okay to walk for a little bit too. I find I have to walk briskly, catch my breath, and drink some water and then I will continue on.

I think you can do it!

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FUNFROG79 4/25/2011 4:09AM

    Hell, no, you won't throw in the towel! Everyone has bad runs, walks, swims etc. Sometimes you just have those days, it's a physical and mental struggle daily when training for any size race. Every half I did I never felt prepared. I always had an injury or got sick before the race. One half I hadn't run for than 5 miles.....in a WEEK! I just showed up on race days and ran what I could and walked what I could. Just this past Feb I did the Princess Half and I have the flu the week before and didn't feel like I could do it. I planned on doing intervals of 2:1 of run/walk, but I ended up running the first 5 and walking the rest of the time. i STRUGGLED a lot during that race and sometimes to get thru I sang VERY loudly to whatever was playing on my MP3 player and got thru it. Sure, I must've looked crazy, but I pushed thru. You will too! Let go of this bad day and move forward! emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 4/24/2011 10:03PM

    I ran my first half last November. It was a nightmare, but not for any of the reasons I expected. My training also hadn't gone as I wanted and I wasn't at all fast and I barely eeked out a 10 miler before the race. I went into it expecting the possibility of failure. But, I didn't fail. I made it...I was second to last, but I made it! It was a nightmare for all the reasons the others who ran stated too...the course was too long before getting to turn, it was too hot, it was too windy, there wasn't enough water. I made it though!! Today was an emotional day and that will take a toll on your running. One thing I found that works for me when I am having a really bad run is to stop, stretch, take a couple breaths and then start again like it is a brand new run. You can do this. You have a goal and you are on track to complete it. Keep trying and I'd be willing to bet that one of your next runs will be absolutely awesome and you'll be wondering why you ever doubted yourself :). Oh, and I walked the last half of my half and still made it and still got the medal, all that matters is that you cross the finish line.

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LALAFLOWERS 4/24/2011 9:59PM

    Hey.. I'm running one that day too! Cool!

Yep.. it's hard some days. That makes the days that it's not so much sweeter!
Yes.. you should be running outside for 10 miles. That's what my plan called for today. (I'm on one that is meant to speed me up, I've run one at a race, and bailed on a second due to weather, and ran it at home in my neighborhood instead) But.. I only made it for an 8 mile loop, and walked most of the last half. I just couldn't run it.

But.. you've got lots on your mind, and lots of emotions bottled up. Get those out of the way, and you'll run.

Keep in mind, that when you signed up, there wasn't a clause that you had to commit to, that says that you will not walk at all.. nope. You'll walk, as much as you need to. You might to intervals, you might now. Then again, the atmosphere may well carry you to the end, running with a huge smile on your face. WHo knows. Just put in the best training you can. And enjoy it as much as you can.

HUGS.. you can do this!

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STLRFNS 4/24/2011 9:56PM

    Don't let one bad day psyche you out. Obviously, you set this goal for yourself because you felt you had the strength to do it. Everyone has a crap day - everyone has those folks in their life who are never there for them. Stop worrying so much - tomorrow is a new day. You can do it! emoticon

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MOMONTHERUN1 4/24/2011 9:49PM

    Don't give up! I ahve a half marathon this coming Saturday and I also have had my obstacles while training. I have been sick, had issues with work and also have had a sick child to take care of while trying to "train". I know that I will be walking some of this Half and I am ok with it. What counts is that it will be accomplished!

I only did 3.5 miles today and had to walk some of it. I should be running 10 miles outside by now, but I know that I will finish under the 4 hour time limit and I am ok with it. Every step you take counts!

Hang in there and don't allow other people to drag you down. I know that this is a lot easier said than done. Best of luck to you!

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MOONLIGHTKISS 4/24/2011 9:47PM

  Sounds like you had a really bad day. Dont make it worse by being hard on yourself. Do your 6 mile run next weekend, or during the week if you feel up to it. Try to make your exercise time you a special time for you and making the goals that you want to do. Good luck!

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SCOTTGARAN 4/24/2011 9:44PM

    Our mental clarity and emotions play a large part in our fitness success. I remember when I was trying to bench press 300 lbs, there was a real mental block. I could get 295 for several reps, but 300 just sounded like a lot, and I had a hard time getting it. Finally I broke through and surpassed it. It was all mental. When your in the 300's there is very little difference between 295 and 300. My mind was preventing me from success. Since then I have been able to surpass that goal, just as you will! Psych yourself up before the run, and six miles will feel like a warmup.
Scott

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HEALTH4LYFE 4/24/2011 9:36PM

    It's tough to run with all the emotional things you listed. If you are concentrating on them, instead of your stride, your breathing, how you feel, or your music to distract you, then you can drain your energy. Only you can decide if you are or are not ready to do your half. When I was training for my first half, my goal was to finish injury free and with a respectable time. No matter when you finish, you will have a PR! See how the next few weeks go, and if you need to, maybe you can defer your race?

Best of luck to you! emoticon

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Summer Challenge: To Live Life to It's Fullest!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

After having a conversation with a friend, I realized I have been holding myself back. It is not anyone else saying I can't do it but ME saying that.

Well, why can't I?

I started to say YES to myself two years ago when I challenged myself to lose weight. I am real close to having lost 100#. Sometimes it can be empowering.. like I can do anything.. like skydive!

Well, this summer, I am going to try to challenge myself again!

But, to live life to the fullest.

In no special order...

emoticonRun a Half Marathon on June 5th.
emoticonComplete the Warrior Dash on July 23rd with ON2VICTORY!
emoticonSkydive before August 31st to celebrate my weight loss
emoticonBecome Zumba certified!
emoticonReach my weight loss goal of 100# - come on, EIGHT more pounds!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 4/24/2011 8:04PM

  Hi Savannah.........
I am with you on all but the skydiving!!!!! With all that you have accomplished so far, I am sure that this list of goals is very doable and that you won't have any problem succeeding.
The skydiving part is my own hangup. I am not good with heights and would definitely have to be pushed!!!!!
I know you will have a wonderful summer and look forward to hearing all about it.
emoticon

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FUNFROG79 4/24/2011 10:38AM

    Love these goals, no doubt you will be a success! emoticon

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SBLACKWELL93 4/23/2011 7:51PM

    You can do it honey!! You have done this much this far!!! Now you can do anything you set your mind too!!!!

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MAGGIENCALI 4/23/2011 3:39PM

    Awesome!!! I've always wanted to skydive. Good for you! Sounds like you're going to a have a wild, crazy and adventurous summer. Can't wait to read about it.

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JOAN_HEO 4/23/2011 2:53PM

    You know what? You are a hot sh_t! I mean that in the VERY best way!!! You have more spunk and sass than you know what to do with! I am rooting for you every step of the way!

emoticon

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CYNTHIAMINUS40 4/23/2011 2:44PM

    You brought a big smile to my face just now after reading this. You are amazing! I'm excited for you with this challenge and look forward to hearing about each and every thing on your list as you put a check mark next to it.

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 4/23/2011 1:35PM

    Wow! That's a lot of stuff! That's emoticon!!

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1CRAZYDOG 4/23/2011 9:06AM

    SKYDIVE???? emoticon Whoa ... I'd have to be PUSHED out! LOL

Great goals . . . living life to the fullest is what it's all about. You'll reach that 100# weight loss goal before you know it.

emoticon emoticon

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15MINUTES 4/23/2011 8:53AM

    I like the way you think--strive for more and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! Good luck--it all sounds doable!

emoticon

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PSALM42 4/23/2011 8:12AM

    have fun! I don't have the drive that you... maybe I'll challenge myself to do something.

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TEDDYBABE 4/23/2011 7:59AM

    I LOVE this challenge. Sounds like you are going to have a great summer!

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The Bottomless Pit Night

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The two main headlines I have about myself today is that I weighed in I ran FIVE miles and weighed in at 167! emoticon

I won't be 167 tomorrow, lol.

I don't track my calories all that much but rather listen to my body. Besides having two bowls of cereal, my regular lunch, a couple snacks, my friend and I went out to supper. It was only going to be ice cream but I seriously felt like I was starving and was going to eat someone's arm off.

Well, I ate and ate and ate. Seriously. My stomach was a bottomless pit tonight. I easily ate half the pizza, no problem. Than, afterwards we went out for Coldstone Creamery.. YUM!

The thing was I didn't even start feeling full until the last piece. So, how does this all play out? I mean.. did I overeat, if I listened to my body?

Oh! I also drank like SIX glasses of water before the pizza.

Someone explain this one to me because as an Exercise Science major, I have NO idea where I put it all. Isn't your stomach supposed to be as big as your fist?

The only thing I can think of is that my body needed the calories with all the running I have been doing. My eating has been like being on an emotional roller coaster! Up. Down. Up. Up. Down. I barely can keep up but I try to just feed me! emoticon

Hope everyone had a fantastic night, like I did! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 4/22/2011 3:35PM

  Hi Savannah..........
It has already been said very clearly in your other comments, so I will only add that I am so happy to see that you had a night that you really enjoyed. You deserve to enjoy life. It was one night of feeding a body that has really been working hard lately. You will recover. You know that you can't do this every night, so don't beat yourself up.
Have a great weekend.

emoticon

P.

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TLRANEL 4/22/2011 1:03PM

    Eh, only one day. No biggie. Were you eating quickly or not paying attention while you were eating (typical when with friends!)? That could've played into you not noticing you were full until the last slice. If we eat too fast, our brain doesn't have time to register it's full, or we just might not be paying attention. Glad you don't seem to worried about though. It's not your typical night, so I wouldn't worry about it too much either!

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1CRAZYDOG 4/22/2011 12:30PM

    Well, you deserved a treat!!

HUGS

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 4/22/2011 11:48AM

    I'm glad you had a great night! Hey, I think that every once in a while, we need to LET LOOSE and do something like that! You don't eat half of pizzas every day, and I'll bet you eat them a lot less often than you used to! Just be careful! You always make me smile, and I loved reading your blog! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PSALM42 4/22/2011 7:38AM

    glad you had a good night! don't worry about it. I think we all need our splurge days, plus you ran 5 miles-- way to go!

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JOAN_HEO 4/22/2011 7:32AM

    I'm thinking you were able to fit all that food in your stomach because you chewed it all into teeeeny tiiiny bits before you swallowed it. =)

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FUNFROG79 4/22/2011 7:12AM

    How fun! I won't worry about one day. More running does mean more calories!

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ANEPANALIPTI 4/22/2011 4:39AM

    Aw, I'm glad you had such a great time! :)

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CYNTHIAMINUS40 4/22/2011 1:50AM

    The stomach is the size of a fist however, the rugae allows the stomach to fold out and accomodate more food than a fist size will fit. Honestly, if you didn't feel full and you ran 5 miles and you've been watching your intake I wouldn't be concerned about one day. I had a higher calorie day myself and even ate a pretty healthy portion of pasta at dinner in anticipation of going for a long run tomorrow morning.

I love that you're an exercise science major. I'm envious! I'm headed in the direction of nursing which I think you and I have already talked about. We should compare notes with our studies since they'll parallel each other in our fields!

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VPOPPY01 4/22/2011 12:58AM

    Omg, Cold Stone is my major nemesis. Soooo yummy! I know how you feel, sometimes after a really really long workout (like the two hours I logged last night) I feel like I just need to eat a house or something and it never hits me until after I've finished, I've only felt physical pain from eating twice in my life and it is NOT a fun experience, I feel for you!

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Falling into the maintenance stage?

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I always thought when I arrived at the maintenance stage, I would know by the number on the scale. Like once I reached 160, than I could stop losing weight.

In all actuality, I think I slowly fell into it.

I no longer count calories and half the time I forget to put in the fitness tracker. Counting calories was a great tool in the beginning to get my eating under control. Now, I know when I am behaving or not. emoticon

I guess I just do not find as much joy in losing a pound or two as reaching a new running milestone. I do not think there is anything wrong with this. I just have a drive for running rather losing weight.

It is actually funny because people lately have been asking me if I have lost weight. Nope, just been doing some strength training. Basically, I am getting toning up while maintaining weight.

My tummy has gotten flatter, I swear. I really wish I knew why suddenly the fat on my tummy is disappearing. Not that I am complaining, but I need to know so I can keep it up! In fact, if I suck my tummy in, I swear I see a little six-pack forming... tehehe!

Also, I think I am getting stronger. emoticon I orientate people on weight machines as part of my job. Yesterday, I went to work to lift for myself and I noticed I need to increase weight. Since starting to use the machines, I have NEVER increased my weight. Like I didn't need to as I have been still struggling with the weight. I think the change was in the last month or so, I have been trying to focus more on free weight training. I think it is working.

I remember one night I was bored at work, so I was going to do the Rotary Torso (working the obliques) while chatting with members that were lifting. Mind you, I never use this machine because, well, I have a strong dislike for it. I had to increase my weight! This is after a month or so working the obliques with the medicine ball and doing planks! This was quite exciting for me! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 4/18/2011 9:48PM

  Hi Savannah........
You are in a GREAT PLACE!!!!! Enjoy the ride. I am VERY PROUD of YOU!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 4/18/2011 8:22PM

    Well you know I'm proud of you! Keep up the good work. Excellent!!!

I think I kind of slid into maintenance too. If you're able to keep things under control without logging your nutrition, etc., then go for it! Nothing wrong with that.

HUGS!

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FUNFROG79 4/18/2011 9:44AM

    Wow, you are doing so fantastic! Stay strong and powerful!

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CYNTHIAMINUS40 4/17/2011 8:48PM

    You could bottle and sell the formula for the tummy flattening secret! I'm more or less at maintenance too except for a stubborn couple of inches around my middle. Now it's time for some serious toning.

Congratulations on being at maintenance!!!

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WYOBZM 4/17/2011 8:18PM

    emoticon SOunds like you are just enjoying your routine of running and strength and everything else is just falling into place. Keep upi the great work! emoticon emoticon

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FITGRL124 4/17/2011 5:09PM

    Hurray for you & Congratulations!! emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 4/17/2011 4:34PM

    You are doing such an OUTSTANDING JOB!!! It's what I am looking forward to! Hurray for all that you have done, and all that you are DOING! emoticon

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FRECKS96 4/17/2011 3:25PM

    Awesome!! I hear you about the NSVs becoming more important than the number. Congrats on your gains with your weight training. You're doing awesome!

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TBITCON 4/17/2011 3:22PM

    congratulations! For me, ST is the hardest thing to motivate myself to do, so I am really impressed that you've managed to put in the time to improve so much! Very inspiring!

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Time to weed my friend garden. *sigh*

Friday, April 15, 2011

Some people say you reflect yourself with the individuals you surround yourself with and hang out with.

There is a friend that seems to be sucking all the energy out of me. She talks while I listen. It doesn't seem to be a 2-way street anymore. Because of this, I find I am actually more stressed after we talk and when I do see one of my other friends, I pour all this stress onto them. So, in a round about way, I am being a poor friend because I have poor friends. I used to be a good friend. I used to love to listen.

In fact, today I was really stressed.. to the point of being nauseous.. and I poured all my "stuff" out which helped alot. In fact, I made some hard decisions that meant being true to me and doing what is best for me. Eventually, I was feeling better until I talked to her. Like, I was restored a little bit than she took it ALL way. *sigh* Something has to change. This is no good. I actually dread talking to her.. because she seems to ask how I am only so we can talk about HER for hours. I'm tired.

Anyhow... I did survive this week.

This weekend I hope to take care of ME and to re-energize!

The plan?
- No chatting with negative "friend"
- Running 6 miles (first time ever for that!)
- Relaxing by watching the FIVE movies I rented
- Attending church and maybe being able to attend the meal afterwards
- Working on homework... whatever I get done will be a plus! :)

By the way, I only have to work like FOUR hours this weekend... that is like having the weekend off! Woohoo!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 4/17/2011 6:07PM

  Hi Savannah........
I am afraid that "Weeding out energy-sucking friends" doesn't end. You will be doing this throughout your life. It is a good thing to do though because it makes you healthier and less stressed in the long run. Don't let yourself feel guilty about it......it is a necessity.
Your plan to re-energize and get some homework done sounds like a good one. I hope it worked for you.
Have a great week.
emoticon
Mom

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PSALM42 4/16/2011 6:34AM

    that is hard. but friends do come and go.

good luck on your 6 miles. The first time I ran 6 miles I felt amazing! it was so weird! haha

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REVJVH 4/16/2011 2:44AM

    Sounds like you're drawing some healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself. Woohoo!!!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 4/16/2011 12:37AM

    emoticon

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ROOT4HOME 4/15/2011 11:33PM

    Good choice - focus on you and the positive! All the best on your 6miler and relaxing weekend!! emoticon

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ON2VICTORY 4/15/2011 10:41PM

    sounds like a good plan my Warrior buddy!

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WYOBZM 4/15/2011 10:31PM

    emoticon Have a great weekend!

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CYNTHIAMINUS40 4/15/2011 9:24PM

    Life's too short for energy sucking people. We come to that more and more the older we get. I've done a little weeding myself through the past few years and the peace of mind that comes with it is wonderful! Not to mention all the extra time available since I'm not listening to someone drone on and on with their life's trials. I don't meam for that to sound cold hearted. True friends are there for each other when times are good and when times are bad. It's give and take. But when it becomes give and give (and give) with no end in site then it's time to let go. A hard thing to do but sometimes it's necessary as it seems to be in this case.

emoticon

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SKINNYMUMY 4/15/2011 8:47PM

  A friend should be someone who listens as well as talks, simply asking how your going but not giving the chance to really say how your going is not listening. Maybe try and explain this to your friend? Maybe she does not realise she is even doing it.

Good plans for next week, and enjoy your weekend 'off'

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KIYOSHI04 4/15/2011 8:44PM

    been there, done that.
it is difficult but i bet your life will be a lot healthier after getting rid of friend.
mine was.
its hard. you're in my thoughts.

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