THECRAZYMANGO   31,586
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THECRAZYMANGO's Recent Blog Entries

Supportive Friends

Friday, March 25, 2011

Lately, I have been examining the support in my life. Honestly, before coming to Sparkpeople, it was majorly slacking. In fact, I know support has been essential for me in this journey and could have not came as far I have if it has not been my friends here on Sparkpeople.

Even through my family has never seen me at a race, more and more, I realize my friends are very supportive of me.

In fact, I have a friend that runs the CASDA 5K with me every year. In the beginning, it started because it was my first race and now we just run it together. We don't really hang out anymore but we run it together.

Another friend of mine, last July took pictures of me. These are the first photos I have of me running at a 5K.

Tonight, I was hanging out at Perkins with LORIBELLZ. My training came up as I looking through my old running magazines for phrases to put on a motivational board. She mentioned she is going to try to be there with a big sign saying "Go Savannah Go" with a big foam finger. I have never had anyone cheer for me. I am not sure what would make me more happy.. having friends cheering me on or completing the 1/2 marathon!

In that moment, I realized how very lucky I was to have the good friends I do have in my life. They are always supportive of me and want to help cheer me on to succeed. This means so much to me!

If you have ever cheered me on... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 3/26/2011 7:29AM

    HUGS to you! You know we've got your back!!

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PATRICIAANN46 3/25/2011 10:18PM

  Dear Savannah...........

emoticon for letting us be there for you. You have to be a friend in order to have friends and you have been a very good friend to me.

emoticon
Mom

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FUNFROG79 3/25/2011 8:39AM

    Great blog! A strong support system and great friends are important! !

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ANEPANALIPTI 3/25/2011 2:15AM

    I LOVE YOU GIRL

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Expectations

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Okay, this is something I should have written a few years ago when I started this journey. But, honestly, I never believed in myself or getting to my ultimate weight loss goal of 100# so I didn't bother to examine what my expectations were.

Maybe it was the fact that my family was not supportive of me. Sometimes it is hard to believe in yourself when you are surrounded by people that do not believe in you! Since joining Sparkpeople, I was surrounded by caring, supportive people. Without them, I am not sure I could have made it this far.

Now that I have nearly made it to my ultimate goal, I have been in panic mode for most of March. But, why? I have been working for the last two years for this, why am I suddenly afraid? Am I afraid that I won't meet my expectations? Did I even have expectations?

Yup, I did.

These are really the main ones that I know I am still struggling with. I know they won't magically happen just because the little mechanical scale says 160. Wouldn't that be nice?! Ha! They are measurements that is MORE important than any scale will ever be.

emoticon TONED like advertised in magazines.

emoticon ACCEPTANCE by friends and family.

emoticon LOVE myself unconditionally.

Wait.

Did I really just say they are more important than the scale? Acceptance is really that important to me? It is so important to me that I am going to measure it by what someone else thinks of me? I need to re-think that!

What about my other achievements and obstacles I have overcome? Do they mean nothing to me?

Back to the thinking box...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 3/25/2011 10:14PM

  My Dear Savannah.............

YOU are the emoticon!!!

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CYNTHIAMINUS40 3/24/2011 4:36PM

    this is a wonderful blog. First off, I want to congratulate you for what you've achieved. That being said, I wonder if sometimes the people in our lives don't truly understand what it feels like to work so hard to reach goals such as these and the ultimate feeling when we arrive at that place. I don't know. If they've never struggled with weight or cared what they weigh they may be unaware of the emotions behind it all.

I also understand about the desire to look a certain way when the weight is gone. I struggle with acceptance that my 50 year old body doesn't have smooth taught skin anymore, my small waist is replaced by something sponsored by menopause and my muscle tone seems lacking despite my strength training efforts. But we sure can look pretty in a nice dress and a pair of heels and go out on the town! That may just have to be ok.

You deserve a cheer for your accomplishments! emoticon

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JOAN_HEO 3/24/2011 4:15PM

    Eventually you will figure out what your friends already know about you. You are SOOOO worthy of being everything you want to be. You have worked hard for this and you need to enjoy every second of it!

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BOJO70 3/24/2011 2:43PM

  Nicely worded!
I've found my brain is my biggest obstacle. Once I conquer my own doubts I can conquer anything!

Way to go on your journey so far!

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ZEVCAIT 3/24/2011 2:39PM

    You are a smart women! The 3 things you wrote are way more important! I hope you have/will achieve all of them! The last one is the most important! And you most certainly deserve it!! You are an insperation to so many! Keep being you!

Jen

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1CRAZYDOG 3/24/2011 11:36AM

    Well you know how I feel! You ARE amazing. You are loving yourself and that's #1. You ARE finding your support system even though family is not supportive. That's very important too.

Keep up your good work. You are worth it!

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DEECANDOITAGAIN 3/24/2011 9:47AM

    Maybe I misunderstood something here. Do you mean you hoped to be accepted by loved ones because you now weigh less? I have struggled with this one myself. Maybe you need to find new friends who love you no matter what size you are. If your family has trouble accepting you, then they need a loving, but firm wake-up call. (I've experienced this, but don't wish to go into the details on-line.) YOU are NOT your weight. There is much more to a person than how much they weigh. Yes it is important to be healthy and feel good about the way you look, but you are also a person with dreams, amazing attributes, accomplishments and opinions of your own. Please love the whole person you are and don't let others judge you on one trait either. Your success with weight loss has been amazing and it takes great perseverance and focus to accomplish what you've done. Take great pride in this and do not let others make you feel inferior any more! Hope I didn't miss your point after going off like this! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 3/24/2011 8:57AM

    I think you have done an AMAZING job! And yes, those three things ARE more important than the scale! emoticon

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FUNFROG79 3/24/2011 8:16AM

    I think you are doing great! Stay strong, focused and positive!

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STITCHINGNAN 3/24/2011 5:21AM

    You are doing fantastically well, have faith in yourslf.
I have expectations ok but when events dont live upto my expectations. I crash. Ree

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CANLOSE81 3/24/2011 12:05AM

    i'm still SO impressed & amazed by all you've accomplished!
WAY TO GO!!
hard-earned and BEYOND deserved!
:)
give those last few pounds heck!!
we're all rooting for you!!

(& besides... you've made it nearly to goal in such STYLE too!)
CONGRATS!!!
:D

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Spring Break

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I have been on Spring Break for a few days but today was the first day I actually felt on vacation.

Oh, wait. I lied.

I guess it felt like I was on vacation on Friday when I went to Olive Garden and shopping. I had an amazing time. We didn't buy much but I laughed alot... totally what I needed!

Than, from Saturday to Tuesday, I worked. Than, after working nearly 30 hours, drama came. I don't want to get too much into it but let's just say I am highly considering quitting and working on campus in leadership positions.

With that said, I was kinda lost today, my first day off, with no worries. I got up at 9 am to help someone make cupcakes before I went home. Than, my mom informed me that after getting a foot of snow, the roads weren't plowed... this was at noon. So, I accepted that my spring break was going to be spent on campus. Not exactly my idea of "fun" but oh well.. I will make it fun, gosh darn it.

I was feeling super tired.. so I took a nap. It was the third one since break. And, I never take naps! Apparently, I am a bit tired... so hopefully, I can catch up on my sleep and maybe work ahead on my homework in the next few days.

Oh one thing I didn't cover.

This morning I bounced into 160-ville again. By accident. This means I lost like a pound. Most people would be celebrating. I am not so much. I want to stay in 170-ville. It is comfortable there. I don't know what to expect I am in 160-ville. I don't belong there. I kinda feel like a fraud there, honestly. I see pictures of people that are in their 160s. I am not small like that. Or am I? Maybe I need to get some new glasses.

Recently, I brought two new sundresses. I am not used to looking decent.. okay, good, in dresses. In these dresses, I don't have to cover up. I just feel a bit more naked than I normally am. I think my mom might be envious. She used to wear sundresses.. and when I told her I got sundresses.. she is like why. Well, mom, why not?

I guess... also with with being in 160-ville, it means I am closer to my goal weight. We all have expectations of our goal weight. One of mine were to have these amazing abs and be super toned. You know.. like you see in the magazines. Apparently, I thought they were going to just appear even through I wasn't consistently seriously working on being toned.

I think also being in 160-ville means I am a different person. Maybe. I am more confident. But, no, I still am ME... just a stronger, better me. That is all I have ever wanted to be. A better me. I have never wanted to be someone in the magazine.. minus the abs bit. I know I will never be 6'2" nor do I want to be. Because of my height and pixy haircut, I am described as "cute".

I think I need to write all my expectations of being in 160-ville to overcome this mental obstacle so you might just hear about this again!

Anyhow....

This is how my Spring Break has been so far! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 3/25/2011 10:10PM

  This is 2 days later for me, so I hope that by now you have made it home and are relaxing and enjoying some time to just do what YOU want to do. That is what Spring Break is supposed to be.
Each stage of weight loss and lifestyle change is exciting and scary at the same time. Give yourself time to settle in to 160-ville. You might find that it is a great place to be. Whenever you get nervous about where you are now...........think back to where you started. Now is so much better in so many ways. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 3/24/2011 11:40AM

    When we change . . . doesn't matter what it is . . . weight, etc., we ARE outwardly different and inside we change a little too . . . but hopefully with weight loss it's a GOOD change. Of course entering the unchartered waters of 160-ville is a little scary because . . . well, you've been in 170-ville. You'll get used to it! Each stage of weight loss for me involved getting used to the "new me" too. Bjut tha'ts alright, it will happen!

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DEECANDOITAGAIN 3/24/2011 9:58AM

    Oh I wish your mom was happy for you, rather than jealous. That is sad for her. When I was a teenager, I felt jealousy from my mom because her childhood was not as happy as mine. I think she felt a loss or regrets, instead of happiness for me when I experienced things she didn't get to. I didn't understand then, but I do now and It makes me sad for her. I do believe that fat is a barrier of sorts for some of us. We may be uncomfortable with attention and you get more attention when you're not fat. It's been true for me anyway. When I was obese (about 8 years ago) I felt invisible/comfortable. Embrace your new confidence. Don't let it scare you. You are uncovering yourself and ready to shine! Corny huh? I'm very excited for you and hope to be as successful as you have been!

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KAYE454 3/23/2011 11:10PM

  Enjoy and rest while you can

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JUSTBIRDY 3/23/2011 11:03PM

    emoticon

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First Week of Training

Sunday, March 20, 2011

This week was my first week of training. Not gonna lie, it was rocky. It wasn't rocky because I felt I couldn't do it. No, it was midterms. This means I had to juggle studying for midterms, papers, and training. I could not push running aside like I can do with my other fitness if life gets too crazy.

Well, on Tuesday, I ran. Than, on Thursday, I went through an depressive episode... lots of crying.. so I didn't know if it was going to happen. But, than the sun was shining and it was irresistible. This was when I went puddle jumping. I probably ran only a mile or so.. and walked the rest. But, that's okay.

Yesterday, I was going to run... but I took a nap at say 5 pm and didn't get out of bed until this morning, for work, lol. I really wanted to run outside today but BRR! It was chilly and rainy cold to do that! So, Sparkfriends that get my weather a couple days later than I do, enjoy the sun!!! I AM quite proud that I did 4.25 miles in 60 minutes today. Also, this week it seems like my pace, on the treadmill at least, is getting faster. emoticon

I was looking at my training schedule... and just had this feeling.. this is going to be FUN!

It is going to be fun to challenge myself to a new level! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCYLU221 3/22/2011 9:57AM

    Hello Savannah I think it is great that you are running and did run for 60 mints. I just got a treadmill and did a preset on it for 30 mints. At one point I have to run at 5.5 and the first time I did it I thought I was not going to make it. emoticon But like you I was determined to do this. My goal is to run a 5K in June. I too just started training. So good luck on your journey. I know emoticon!!!!

Val emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 3/21/2011 5:05PM

    HUGE accomplishment to get faster on that treadmill u go girl. :)

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1CRAZYDOG 3/21/2011 12:15PM

    Didn't go out yesterday either!

Have a fantastic Monday!

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FUNFROG79 3/21/2011 11:22AM

    Wow! You are doing fantastic! Keep it up!

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FRECKS96 3/21/2011 7:35AM

    Awesome! Good luck with your runs this week!

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PATRICIAANN46 3/20/2011 10:48PM

  Hi Savannah...........
I am so proud of you!!! emoticon
I wish you all the very best in your training. This would be difficult to do if it were all you had to think about, but you are a college student with all that entails and you are still doing it. One day at a time........stay healthy.........and stay balanced.
Mom emoticon

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ZOSIME 3/20/2011 10:35PM

    I think we must have the same weather today - yuck. Here's hoping for more sunshine soon. Great job on the 4.25 miles! Good luck with week 2!

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DEECANDOITAGAIN 3/20/2011 10:31PM

    You are amazing! I can't imagine running for 60 minutes. I'm panting just thinking about it. Good luck with your training! emoticon emoticon

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Puddle Jumping

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Today, the mental stress of this week started to get to me. If you don't know what I am talking about, read the previous blog. Anyhow, today I decided to get out of the building because it was fairly nice. I decided to go across the bridge and buy myself some running tights. I have meaning to get some for a long time. It was a great excuse to get away from campus and all it's associated stress.

When I started shopping, the guy asked if I needed help. By golly, I do. As he was helping me, he asked what size I am. I explained I have lost a chunk of weight and I wasn't sure. He figured a medium.

Do you know what this means?! I actually do look like a medium to other people! emoticon I ended up buying some capri tights and a new sports bra. Probably the most expensive sports bra I have ever brought! Seriously! But, I tuck my Ipod and phone in my bra when I run and well, when they can fall out when I run and bend over.. there IS a problem! Way too much space I am thinking!

Anywho... I was still down today. In fact, I have cried several times today. Not sure if I am in a depression episode or not. Even if I am, I can't do much but to deal with it. So as I was being all down in my room, the emoticon starting shining into my room.

And, I had a emoticon go off. A nice relaxing stroll sounded nice!

I was going to run today which I tried but I had a headache from crying so much that I decided I was going to treat myself to walk. I never really walk anymore... it's too slow and I get inpatient, lol.

It was nice to have the relaxing gait and to enjoy the sunshine out. Towards half way through my walk, there was this HUGE puddle from today's earlier rain and with the snow melting.

I only had ONE choice: To go through it.

And, who walks through a puddle? Um, no one!

Yup, I emoticon through it. It was kinda fun.. so I just kept running.. and boy, were there enough puddles to keep me entertained. At first I was concerned about my fairly new running shoes, than I was like.. ah, they will dry.

Than, there were no more puddles. emoticon

But, it was good. I ended up doing those 2 miles in like 30 minutes.

And, more importantly, it did kinda cheer me up! emoticon

By the way, now that I can run outside again, I gotta work on pacing myself. In the beginning, when I tried to run, I started too fast but I had a better grasp on it towards the end when I was pudding jumping! emoticon Oh, also, puddle jumping is great training for the Warrior Race, hehe!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 3/19/2011 10:40PM

  Nothing brings you out of a funk better than playing in puddles!!! I think re-visiting our childhood "fun-stuff" is a great way to keep in touch with our inner child. We don't take the time to HAVE FUN often enough. Good For You for taking that time. emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 3/19/2011 3:41PM

    Totally awesome girl. I'm glad you got out there. Make sure you put newspaper in wet running shoes so they don't shrink!

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FRECKS96 3/18/2011 6:07AM

    Awesome! Now I want to try running through puddles! Maybe when it's a little warmer.

Glad you were able to cheer yourself up a bit and congrats on the mediums! Enjoy your new purchases.

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RUNNER12COM 3/18/2011 12:48AM

    I absolutely love it! I have a t-shirt that reads, "I still stomp in mud puddles!"

Way to go!



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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 3/17/2011 11:45PM

    Good for you for moving through it all! Keep going, and never give up! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SBLACKWELL93 3/17/2011 10:52PM

    Wow that had to be a confidence boost for him to say you were a medium. Was he right???

You know they say that as a society need to let our inner child out sometimes to help keep up sane. By you puddle jumping you did just that. You let your inner child out to play in the puddles and in turn it made you feel better. Remember to have fun and smell the roses during your journey in life.

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DEECANDOITAGAIN 3/17/2011 9:47PM

    I love this part, "I actually do look like a medium to other people!" What a wonderful feeling that must be! I can't imagine running without my running tights, but I can't imagine wearing them in public, so I'm not sure what I'll wear when I take my runs outside. If you can't go around it or over it or under it; you just have to go through it...and you did! Cute.

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PSALM42 3/17/2011 7:04PM

    that sounds like fun. We should all have more fun like kids do! A nice sports bra is totally worth the investment. Mine are at least 8 years old, but I wash and hang to dry and they still are very tight and the elastic hasn't been ruined. I'm thinking about getting a pair of running tights, do you like them?

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