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Spring Break

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I have been on Spring Break for a few days but today was the first day I actually felt on vacation.

Oh, wait. I lied.

I guess it felt like I was on vacation on Friday when I went to Olive Garden and shopping. I had an amazing time. We didn't buy much but I laughed alot... totally what I needed!

Than, from Saturday to Tuesday, I worked. Than, after working nearly 30 hours, drama came. I don't want to get too much into it but let's just say I am highly considering quitting and working on campus in leadership positions.

With that said, I was kinda lost today, my first day off, with no worries. I got up at 9 am to help someone make cupcakes before I went home. Than, my mom informed me that after getting a foot of snow, the roads weren't plowed... this was at noon. So, I accepted that my spring break was going to be spent on campus. Not exactly my idea of "fun" but oh well.. I will make it fun, gosh darn it.

I was feeling super tired.. so I took a nap. It was the third one since break. And, I never take naps! Apparently, I am a bit tired... so hopefully, I can catch up on my sleep and maybe work ahead on my homework in the next few days.

Oh one thing I didn't cover.

This morning I bounced into 160-ville again. By accident. This means I lost like a pound. Most people would be celebrating. I am not so much. I want to stay in 170-ville. It is comfortable there. I don't know what to expect I am in 160-ville. I don't belong there. I kinda feel like a fraud there, honestly. I see pictures of people that are in their 160s. I am not small like that. Or am I? Maybe I need to get some new glasses.

Recently, I brought two new sundresses. I am not used to looking decent.. okay, good, in dresses. In these dresses, I don't have to cover up. I just feel a bit more naked than I normally am. I think my mom might be envious. She used to wear sundresses.. and when I told her I got sundresses.. she is like why. Well, mom, why not?

I guess... also with with being in 160-ville, it means I am closer to my goal weight. We all have expectations of our goal weight. One of mine were to have these amazing abs and be super toned. You know.. like you see in the magazines. Apparently, I thought they were going to just appear even through I wasn't consistently seriously working on being toned.

I think also being in 160-ville means I am a different person. Maybe. I am more confident. But, no, I still am ME... just a stronger, better me. That is all I have ever wanted to be. A better me. I have never wanted to be someone in the magazine.. minus the abs bit. I know I will never be 6'2" nor do I want to be. Because of my height and pixy haircut, I am described as "cute".

I think I need to write all my expectations of being in 160-ville to overcome this mental obstacle so you might just hear about this again!


This is how my Spring Break has been so far! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 3/25/2011 10:10PM

  This is 2 days later for me, so I hope that by now you have made it home and are relaxing and enjoying some time to just do what YOU want to do. That is what Spring Break is supposed to be.
Each stage of weight loss and lifestyle change is exciting and scary at the same time. Give yourself time to settle in to 160-ville. You might find that it is a great place to be. Whenever you get nervous about where you are now...........think back to where you started. Now is so much better in so many ways. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 3/24/2011 11:40AM

    When we change . . . doesn't matter what it is . . . weight, etc., we ARE outwardly different and inside we change a little too . . . but hopefully with weight loss it's a GOOD change. Of course entering the unchartered waters of 160-ville is a little scary because . . . well, you've been in 170-ville. You'll get used to it! Each stage of weight loss for me involved getting used to the "new me" too. Bjut tha'ts alright, it will happen!

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    Oh I wish your mom was happy for you, rather than jealous. That is sad for her. When I was a teenager, I felt jealousy from my mom because her childhood was not as happy as mine. I think she felt a loss or regrets, instead of happiness for me when I experienced things she didn't get to. I didn't understand then, but I do now and It makes me sad for her. I do believe that fat is a barrier of sorts for some of us. We may be uncomfortable with attention and you get more attention when you're not fat. It's been true for me anyway. When I was obese (about 8 years ago) I felt invisible/comfortable. Embrace your new confidence. Don't let it scare you. You are uncovering yourself and ready to shine! Corny huh? I'm very excited for you and hope to be as successful as you have been!

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KAYE454 3/23/2011 11:10PM

  Enjoy and rest while you can

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JUSTBIRDY 3/23/2011 11:03PM


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First Week of Training

Sunday, March 20, 2011

This week was my first week of training. Not gonna lie, it was rocky. It wasn't rocky because I felt I couldn't do it. No, it was midterms. This means I had to juggle studying for midterms, papers, and training. I could not push running aside like I can do with my other fitness if life gets too crazy.

Well, on Tuesday, I ran. Than, on Thursday, I went through an depressive episode... lots of crying.. so I didn't know if it was going to happen. But, than the sun was shining and it was irresistible. This was when I went puddle jumping. I probably ran only a mile or so.. and walked the rest. But, that's okay.

Yesterday, I was going to run... but I took a nap at say 5 pm and didn't get out of bed until this morning, for work, lol. I really wanted to run outside today but BRR! It was chilly and rainy cold to do that! So, Sparkfriends that get my weather a couple days later than I do, enjoy the sun!!! I AM quite proud that I did 4.25 miles in 60 minutes today. Also, this week it seems like my pace, on the treadmill at least, is getting faster. emoticon

I was looking at my training schedule... and just had this feeling.. this is going to be FUN!

It is going to be fun to challenge myself to a new level! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCYLU221 3/22/2011 9:57AM

    Hello Savannah I think it is great that you are running and did run for 60 mints. I just got a treadmill and did a preset on it for 30 mints. At one point I have to run at 5.5 and the first time I did it I thought I was not going to make it. emoticon But like you I was determined to do this. My goal is to run a 5K in June. I too just started training. So good luck on your journey. I know emoticon!!!!

Val emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 3/21/2011 5:05PM

    HUGE accomplishment to get faster on that treadmill u go girl. :)

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1CRAZYDOG 3/21/2011 12:15PM

    Didn't go out yesterday either!

Have a fantastic Monday!

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FUNFROG79 3/21/2011 11:22AM

    Wow! You are doing fantastic! Keep it up!

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FRECKS96 3/21/2011 7:35AM

    Awesome! Good luck with your runs this week!

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PATRICIAANN46 3/20/2011 10:48PM

  Hi Savannah...........
I am so proud of you!!! emoticon
I wish you all the very best in your training. This would be difficult to do if it were all you had to think about, but you are a college student with all that entails and you are still doing it. One day at a time........stay healthy.........and stay balanced.
Mom emoticon

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ZOSIME 3/20/2011 10:35PM

    I think we must have the same weather today - yuck. Here's hoping for more sunshine soon. Great job on the 4.25 miles! Good luck with week 2!

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    You are amazing! I can't imagine running for 60 minutes. I'm panting just thinking about it. Good luck with your training! emoticon emoticon

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Puddle Jumping

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Today, the mental stress of this week started to get to me. If you don't know what I am talking about, read the previous blog. Anyhow, today I decided to get out of the building because it was fairly nice. I decided to go across the bridge and buy myself some running tights. I have meaning to get some for a long time. It was a great excuse to get away from campus and all it's associated stress.

When I started shopping, the guy asked if I needed help. By golly, I do. As he was helping me, he asked what size I am. I explained I have lost a chunk of weight and I wasn't sure. He figured a medium.

Do you know what this means?! I actually do look like a medium to other people! emoticon I ended up buying some capri tights and a new sports bra. Probably the most expensive sports bra I have ever brought! Seriously! But, I tuck my Ipod and phone in my bra when I run and well, when they can fall out when I run and bend over.. there IS a problem! Way too much space I am thinking!

Anywho... I was still down today. In fact, I have cried several times today. Not sure if I am in a depression episode or not. Even if I am, I can't do much but to deal with it. So as I was being all down in my room, the emoticon starting shining into my room.

And, I had a emoticon go off. A nice relaxing stroll sounded nice!

I was going to run today which I tried but I had a headache from crying so much that I decided I was going to treat myself to walk. I never really walk anymore... it's too slow and I get inpatient, lol.

It was nice to have the relaxing gait and to enjoy the sunshine out. Towards half way through my walk, there was this HUGE puddle from today's earlier rain and with the snow melting.

I only had ONE choice: To go through it.

And, who walks through a puddle? Um, no one!

Yup, I emoticon through it. It was kinda fun.. so I just kept running.. and boy, were there enough puddles to keep me entertained. At first I was concerned about my fairly new running shoes, than I was like.. ah, they will dry.

Than, there were no more puddles. emoticon

But, it was good. I ended up doing those 2 miles in like 30 minutes.

And, more importantly, it did kinda cheer me up! emoticon

By the way, now that I can run outside again, I gotta work on pacing myself. In the beginning, when I tried to run, I started too fast but I had a better grasp on it towards the end when I was pudding jumping! emoticon Oh, also, puddle jumping is great training for the Warrior Race, hehe!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 3/19/2011 10:40PM

  Nothing brings you out of a funk better than playing in puddles!!! I think re-visiting our childhood "fun-stuff" is a great way to keep in touch with our inner child. We don't take the time to HAVE FUN often enough. Good For You for taking that time. emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 3/19/2011 3:41PM

    Totally awesome girl. I'm glad you got out there. Make sure you put newspaper in wet running shoes so they don't shrink!

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FRECKS96 3/18/2011 6:07AM

    Awesome! Now I want to try running through puddles! Maybe when it's a little warmer.

Glad you were able to cheer yourself up a bit and congrats on the mediums! Enjoy your new purchases.

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RUNNER12COM 3/18/2011 12:48AM

    I absolutely love it! I have a t-shirt that reads, "I still stomp in mud puddles!"

Way to go!

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    Good for you for moving through it all! Keep going, and never give up! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SBLACKWELL93 3/17/2011 10:52PM

    Wow that had to be a confidence boost for him to say you were a medium. Was he right???

You know they say that as a society need to let our inner child out sometimes to help keep up sane. By you puddle jumping you did just that. You let your inner child out to play in the puddles and in turn it made you feel better. Remember to have fun and smell the roses during your journey in life.

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    I love this part, "I actually do look like a medium to other people!" What a wonderful feeling that must be! I can't imagine running without my running tights, but I can't imagine wearing them in public, so I'm not sure what I'll wear when I take my runs outside. If you can't go around it or over it or under it; you just have to go through it...and you did! Cute.

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PSALM42 3/17/2011 7:04PM

    that sounds like fun. We should all have more fun like kids do! A nice sports bra is totally worth the investment. Mine are at least 8 years old, but I wash and hang to dry and they still are very tight and the elastic hasn't been ruined. I'm thinking about getting a pair of running tights, do you like them?

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...and, it is only Wednesday!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

In the last few days, I feel like a lot has happened in my life. Not even sure what to blog about... so let's do it all.

[Yup, that means you need to settle in and break out the reading glasses.]

Yup, I still go to counseling, weekly. It is a never ending thing for me, I think. *sigh* I brought up during our last session that I wanted to work on my body image issues. Basically, I want to accept me. I know if I could just wrap my mind around me (kinda like a hug), than I could just reach my goal.. but until than, it is like a million miles away. Anyhow, I said at one point during the session.. "good enough" and she asked me, "Who am I not good enough for?" It really is a good question. Sadly, enough, my parents. I never have been good enough for them. Will I ever be?

You might have noticed that I kinda disappeared. Well, college got a bit crazy with midterms this week. On Monday, I had two papers due and a test. Than, on Wednesday (today), I had two HARD tests. I think I did alright.. well, I hope I did. Anyhow, it can be kinda stressful.

I am going to keep this as short as possible. Basically, a couple people cheated off me. At first, I was like whatever, they are cheating themselves! Than, the old conscious got to me. Today, I talked to the professor about it. I couldn't take it any longer. There was too much mental stress about it. She was super nice about it. Basically, we decided it was in my best interest to not sit by those people anymore. We talked about how it was going to be empowering and how they crossed some boundaries. So, I moved. It was hard to do. I was very nervous about it.. but knew I needed to do it for ME. Anyhow, one of them approached me and asked why I wasn't sitting with them. I kinda blew it off but later on Facebook, I told them it made me very uncomfortable. She wants me to sit by them again.. but honestly, I don't wanna. I told her I'd think about it.

So much for being short.

Last night (Tuesday), I studied with my friend, B, and she's like T (a guy friend of hers) is coming. It wasn't a big deal. He's not my favorite.. but whatever. Well, we were studying Human Structure and Function and I have trouble pronouncing some of the words. Mind you, even my professors don't always know the "right" way to say them. Anyhow, he made two comments about my speech. I know I am more sensitive than I should be.. but.. first he was like, "I don't mean to make fun of you when you stutter.." I let it go. Whatever. Than, like 20 minutes later, he is like "It is not that hard to pronounce the words if you sound them out." Okay. Now, I am annoyed. I have apraxia, a speech disorder. Honestly, I am tired of explaining to people why I am not "perfect" in their eyes. I didn't say anything to him about it.. and neither did my friend. *sigh* It amazes me that even through I have been dealing with this all my life, I never get used to it. While on the other hand, my closest friends don't even notice it. When my best friend from High School told me that tonight, it seriously made me break down. Also, in the last week, I've been told a couple times how it's not really negative, it's just a part of me. I've always considered it kinda negative as it makes me not perfect.

So, besides all this stuff that I have been dealing with, my friend who is on my cell phone plan, lost her phone. So, she called me [on the tree phone, lol] and we had her take my upgrade.

I started training for my Half Marathon this week. I don't feel like I am training as I am just running. I like running. In fact, it helps manage my stress and keep that pesky depression at bay. Today, I was supposed to go for a light run but I decided not to, for many reasons. I figure it is okay since it is only week one of training. But, tomorrow, I will be emoticon. I am really looking forward to it!

So, that is my week so far.. and it is ONLY Wednesday.

On Friday, I am going shopping with two awesome friends, MUSICALFUSE and BEACHGUARD. I am really looking forward to it... I might get my first sundress. Either way, it shall be a grand old time!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 3/18/2011 10:09PM

  Oh Savannah.............When I read your blog, I felt like I was transported back to college. I don't know how you do ALL that you do. I need a nap just reading about your schedule.
I think that you handled everything in a very mature way. The "Guy" sounds super insensitive and will hopefully grow up and realize that he needs to know the meaning of the word compassion and understanding. You were super generous re: the phone. Being a former teacher, I feel you handled the cheating situation well too. Your parents????? As a parent myself, I KNOW that I love both of my boys, but I am not sure that they always know HOW MUCH!!! I am sure that your parents love you very much and maybe just have a difficult time showing it in a way that you wish they would. Not knowing them is a disadvantage to me in making any kind of educated guess, so I am just going by my own experiences.
When all is said and done........YOU are the most important judge of what makes you happy and confident and this changes with age and experience. You are doing so well thus far that I have no doubt that you will continue to do so.

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ANEPANALIPTI 3/17/2011 2:48PM

    busy busy busy. glad you moved away from the cheaters. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ONE OF MY BIGGEST PET PEEVES.

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1CRAZYDOG 3/17/2011 10:57AM

    Parents . . . you know they love you but they have their ideas (and this is spoken as a parent!) You're #1 is YOU . . . if you're happy with your choices, that's it.

Cheating . . . good for you for sticking to your guns and not sitting by them.

Shopping . . . have an awersome time with your friends.

Enjoy your day, my dear.

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PSALM42 3/17/2011 7:36AM

    I'm sorry for the stinky week. I hope the rest of the week goes better. I have trouble pronouncing stuff too. I once had to read a passage of scripture in front of church. It was a passage with a lot of people and places names (if you've read the bible, you can see my trouble, there are so many weird names) and I didn't know what passage ahead of time otherwise I would have practiced or asked how it was correctedly said. At first I wanted to die and then I said who cares. I like the way I say it better. :)

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    You've had quite the week but it sounds like you're ending it in a marvellous way! Enjoy the shopping outing and HAVE FUN!!

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    I was almost too tired to read your blog, but I'm so glad that I did. I wish I could have socked that guy, but I know that would have not been the right thing, either. As nice as you and your friend were to him about it, he really needs to learn some social skills, and I hope he learns them sooner than later! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

And, by the way, you are very generous to give up your upgrade!

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Excuse you... but, what saggy skin?

Saturday, March 12, 2011

A "friend" and I were chatting about shopping. It is that time again.. where I need new jeans. Honestly, I have been putting it off. I still have this "pouch" on my tummy that spills over when I have jeans and I hate jean shopping when pretty much all the jeans I try on will have the muffin top effect.

In fact, I feel more sexy and confident in my workout clothes than my jeans. I hate wearing my jeans. They make me feel gross and sloppy. So, I think I wear them like once a week. Thank goodness for being an Exercise Science major where I can get away with that... and no one thinks about it. It's amazing a couple years ago, it was the opposite. I was more comfortable in jeans than workout pants.

Anyhow, my "friend" was like you need mom jeans. Huh? She explained to me that it will cover the extra skin.

Um... I don't have saggy skin.

She than explained her sister lost like 90# (same amount of me right now) and has saggy skin.

Let's emoticon right here... this is the VERY reason, even as much as I hate strength training, I try to do some strength training, even if is light.

I explained I do not have saggy skin... and she promptly looked me up and down [discretely]. Go ahead and look. Just try finding it! I may be squishy in certain areas like my darn stomach and hips but I do NOT have saggy skin from losing weight fast.

Oh, wait... I did it slowly. As long as you lose weight slowly and strength training, the "experts" tell me that saggy skin will not be an issue.

Oh by the way, I am debating... tattoo or no tattoo. I want a phenoix for all the weight I have lost but I can figure out where I want it... I want to be able to see it everyday, as a reminder, of my determination and strength. I have been thinking on the back of my calf. But, how will it change if my calves get more defined... you know from all the emoticon I will be doing for the rest of my life!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRISSYCURRY 3/21/2011 2:14PM

    You are very fortunate that you don't have excess or saggy skin because I sure do!! I lost over 80 lbs and my skin sags so bad, mainly in my stomach and things. :( But I lost 12" in my stomach alone and over 5" in my thighs. I did it the correct way: slow and steady, with strength training, too. I guess my genetics are playing against me. :(

Congrats on all of your hard work and accomplishments! You're doing great!! And about the jeans, yeah, I feel you on that one!! What I have found is that I have to try on a bunch of different types at different stores to find a fit that I like. I personally LOVE Buckle Stella jeans but I tried on over 10 pairs to find the pair that worked for me.

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PATRICIAANN46 3/14/2011 9:32PM

  Hi Savannah.........You are very lucky NOT to have saggy skin. I have known many people who have lost weight and weren't so lucky. A couple have had plastic surgery. Your combination of weight loss and exercise must have been just what your skin needed.
A tattoo of a Phoenix.............I guess I am not sure where I would have it done so that it could be seen easily, but wouldn't change that much. Possibly between the wrist and the elbow. That area isn't affected that much by weight and can be easily seen. Just a thought.........
Have a great week. Thanks for the well-wishes. My throat is still very sore and I am blowing my nose non-stop, but I don't ache all over quite as much. emoticon

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PELESJEWEL 3/13/2011 10:40PM

    emoticon You ROCK!!! Thanks for sharing your no flabby skin success story!! Woo Hoo on you!

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1CRAZYDOG 3/13/2011 12:29PM

    Go for it! I am not a "tat" kinda person, but know so many who are and the tats they have are really beautiful (butterflies, roses, that sort of "girlie" stuff). Me . . . I am a chicken, but that's OK.

@nd the motion to try SPANX.

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BORN2BLOSSOM 3/13/2011 3:10AM

    I've actually had the opposite experience where people are surprised to find out that I DON'T suddenly have a Sports Illustrated body underneath all of my clothing. When I tell people that I have excess skin (which is seldom and only if I'm asked about it) they seem surprised and say something like "But I thought you did it the RIGHT way? Did you exercise? Maybe you have to work out more? Did you drink enough water? Did you eat the right foods? But you're so young! How can that be! Keep working out it will just tone right up!" And I'm like PEOPLE PLEASE!! I didn't do anything WRONG! I was just morbidly obese for a good decade of my life. There's only a certain point my skin was going to just "snap back" to! Skin's an organ, not a muscle so there was no way to just "tone it up." My body literally grew extra skin cells to hold in all of my extra fat cells. My fat cells may have shrunken, but they're all still there along with all of that delightful extra skin my body had to grow over the years.

I've heard all kinds of stories with people's experience regarding excess skin after extreme weight loss and it seems to vary greatly. I wish I could say I was one of the lucky ones who didn't end up with a bunch of excess baggage but I did and LOTS of it :-(

I really think the "after" results depend more on age, genetics, where you store most of your weight, how overweight you were and how LONG you were overweight. My hips were over 60" around and I'm now around 39" (and thats with all of the excess skin so my current measurements arent even 100% accurate) With more than a 20" loss around my hips alone and more than 10" off each thigh, it would be a miracle to not have any excess skin.

I started losing weight over the summer of 2007. My beginning stats were 5'4", 300 lbs. I reached 128 lbs by the summer of 2009 so I lost 170 lbs in 2 years time. I lost weight slowly by tracking my calories, eating plenty of healthy/whole foods, and working out 5-6x a week (well, when I was at my peak) I started noticing the excess skin after I lost the first 100#, and it just continued to get worse the more I lost. I honestly don't think there was anything I could have done to prevent the excess skin. I was overweight since I was in the 1st grade and was obese from the age of 14 and up. I feel it was inevitable for me. I have plenty of muscle tone underneath my layers of skin which is visable in certain areas, but usually I have to feel around for it to know it's there lol.

I think it's awesome you don't have that issue with all of your weight loss. That's amazing to me! There's no doubt that your dedication to a fit/active lifestyle helped you out in that department. It helped me too in a sense that I actually like the shape that my body is now and has given a shapely appearance to my outer arms, my calves, my waist and even my butt. But with clothes on. Clothes off is a bit scary lol. *Sigh* Oh well. I still appreciate and try to love my body as it is since it's greatly improved from all of the hell I put it through over the years and it really is the best it's ever going to be (without surgery at least..)

Congrats on all of your hard work that has gotten you to where you are today!

P.S. Just a word of advice if you want to feel sexier in your jeans. One word --- SPANX!! They've been a lifesaver for me I've been wearing Spanx every day of my life basically since 2008 (I wear the kind that comes up under the bra band but has a regular panty line..kind of looks like a bathing suit minus the top part) It doesn't shrink me in inches but it does hold in that soft squishy muffin top I'll never get rid of so I can wear normal jeans without a major overhang! Although they can be annoying at times, it's totally worth it IMO and are a MUST have for jeans :-)

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ANEPANALIPTI 3/13/2011 1:12AM

    Hmmmmmmmm, how have your calves changed throughout the whole journey, are they a part of your body that sculpts easy??

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PSALM42 3/12/2011 8:42PM

    your post made me laugh. I recently got some "mom" jeans. I have 2 kids so I am a mom, but geez I'm only 25. My saggy skin isn't so much from weight loss but from being pregnant :( Not sure if it will go away. congrats on your weight loss! it was good to do it nice and slow.

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    emoticon90 lbs is a huge accomplishment!
To be running is such a statement of your freedom without all of that extra holding you back! Speaking of sagging skin; please don't get it on your chest. I had a friend who got a rose on her chest about five years ago. I didn't care for it then because her skin was in bad shape from tanning and now it is a looooong stem rose. Ick! The calf or shoulder sounds good. They say a woman's shoulders look great forever. emoticonHope you love it!

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VPOPPY01 3/12/2011 6:43PM

    A phoenix tat would be so awesome! I've always wanted one too, but I just can't decide on what to get, anyways I've got some time to decide lol.

I totally know what you mean with the workout clothes vs. jeans thing! I feel so much comfortable/confident in my workout clothes, plus all of my jeans are just too baggy. Keep up the great work buddy!

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    I agree that if you lose the weight at a reasonable pace and do exercises including ST - the sagging skin syndrome doesn't strike us.

I had debated about a tattoo at one point too - haven't gone there though yet... for now have my 'tanning stickers' which leave a mark but it's not permanent ...

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SUZIEQS65 3/12/2011 6:27PM

    *L*...I so hear you, I still my "mom" jeans....there is (whether we admit it or not) that "stuff" that is left after weight loss and of course for me...4 babies!

Keep up the great work and enjoy your new life!

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