Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Recently I participated in a 5K Run/Walk with merely no support. It really opened my eyes on how much I depend on support. On Saturday, I almost did not go but than friends on here and my family members sent me messages of support in one form or another. This got me to thinking about how people would be asking me how the run went. I thought about the excuses that I could offer for why I did not go when people were spending their money on me. The excuses seemed.. lame and weak! I eventually got out of bed and got to the race just in time to check-in (I pre-registered).
It was okay. I did not do anything spectacular but I did finish. I did decide that I am going to wait to run the half marathon in June and try to focus my goals towards running a full 5K and than focusing the goals on actually competing in the 5K races. Maybe after I have places a few times, I will be ready to move onto big races - like a 10K or aHalf Marathon. I think this way when I complete in the Grandma's Half Marathon - I will feel so much more accomplished and ready!!!
This got me to thinking about how much I do lean on support and really miss it when it is gone. I realized that this past summer my support really helped me. When I was laying in bed on Saturday, I realized if no one is supporting me - I am there supporting and proud of myself. It is not like I will be too busy or have other obligations that I cannot support me.
On that note, I know it is just me.. I guess I know I will never - NEVER - give up. I may temporally stop for a couple days but usually it does not take much to get back on track.
See you all on the journey..
Sunday, November 22, 2009
This week is Thanksgiving and approximately about a month after that is Christmas. I love and hate both holidays. In my family, our socializing is focused around food. Honestly, this year it scares me. I not only want to continue onto my weight loss but also I do not want to gain even five pounds. After reading the message boards about how not to succomb to the evilness of the wonderful food that are around the holidays I decided to take their tips and put it in a concise plan for myself. This blog is for whoever is reading it and myself. I figure I can look back before Christmas and remind myself what my plan is.
-Plan out the calories by looking them up before hand
-Take a walk before the big meal
Christmas with Immediate Family
-Bring foods/meals that I enjoy and fill up on
-Go for a small walk or go on my sister's elliptical
Christmas with Extended Family
-Have ColdFusion on the way down so I am full. I am hoping I will not fill up on the "before" entrees
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Lately I have been noticed that I have been letting my weaknesses get the better of me and my continuous weight loss. I am going to state my weaknesses - I am hoping by sharing them, I will be able to work though them and they no longer will be pitfalls.
I find that when I have stressful periods in my life, it does affect my weight loss. I find this ironic since I work out when the stress gets to me to give myself some "Me" time and to stop thinking about it. I tend to think about things until I am about to go crazy.
In the last month, I have had a lot of changes with my friends. With my weight loss, my friends were my number one support but they are not so much anymore. Maybe it is because classes has them busy.. I don't know. Anyhow, it seems like my family is supportive but I do not think they understand what I am going through. Because my support system is kinda MIA, I feel alone. Maybe, this is just a phase I am going though, I don't know.
As the end of the semester gets closer (only FOUR weeks left!), I find myself having busier days in where I go to work, class, volunteer and work out. Somehow between all that, I find time to get my homework done. I guess I realize with busier days, I do not always take time to eat correctly. I tend to eat out when I am tired at the end of day and do not feel like cooking or preparing food.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
On this weight loss journey, it seems like no one really sees my bad days. We all have bad days. I am going to tell you about my bad eating day. Before I tell you about my bad eating day, I should probably tell you the reason for it. The reason for it is: stress. Somehow, I do not think that came as a huge surprise. More specifically, the stress is that I am in a harassment situation at school and it is quite serious. I think it was just all getting to me. On Friday, when I learned that it went to the Dean's counsel and I got mediated because of it, I stayed home and relaxed. Than Saturday, I got out of town and visited my aunt. That was really nice and relaxing. As soon as I got back into town and saw my building, I felt the stress come back. *deep breath* On Sunday, I went on a really long walk and lifted after wards. I ended up being gone four hours. I no longer want to be in the building or in my room because all I do is think about it. I don't want to think about it anymore. That is also another reason I haven't gone to class today because all I do is think about it and not really focus on the class. Like yesterday, I went to stats and doodled the whole class period and I doubt I learned anything. I tried to focus but just couldn't.
Anyhow, that brings us to yesterday and my eating habits. Overall, I probably did not have a bad day eating but than I went shopping with Will and you know what I needed to emotionally eat. I tried relaxing. I tried exercise. Neither of those worked, so I defaulted back to what I have done for years. I ate. What did I eat? A whole box of swiss roll cakes except one. Will made sure to have one so I couldn't say I had the whole box.. haha! Than after that, I went out for a drink with Bobby which probably was not the least amount of calories but at that point, I didn't care. It was really nice. I got to sit and relax. We joked around and it was so nice to not feel. That is also the reason I slept in today.. I couldn't handle feeling or thinking about it anymore so I ignored it by sleeping in.. and ignoring life.
Anyhow, after yesterday, I was like I really do not want to weigh myself today - especially after that box of swiss roll cakes. Sunday I gained two pounds after going to Chinese on Saturday which made me 225.8 and this morning I was 225.2. So, I guess my emotionally eating really wasn't that bad.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
As some of you already know, yesterday, emotionally, I did not have an especially good day. I was struggling with some of my issues with some of my friends. To be honest, I think it just did not felt like anyone cared. After I ate at the cafeteria alone, I checked my mail, and I got a card from my aunt saying how she is proud of me and I am an inspiration. It was great. I was going to go study but I decided to go back to my (dorm) room.
I ran into a couple people and talked to them. I ended up hanging out with two of those people. Both people were like, "Why didn't you text me?!" I found this kinda ironic since I did not even think about it. But, apparently, they needed someone to have supper with. Haha. It was kinda nice and I think I will call one of them next time. Anyhow, one of the two people I hung out with was an old friend with a heart condition (He is 21 and recently had a pacemaker put in).
Anyhow, I was feeling down and he invited me on Sunday for eggnog so last night I was like this sounds like it could be soothing for my soul. I went down there and since he couldn't drive and we live 5 blocks away he didn't eat yet and this was 8 pm. We decided to go get him food and ended up going to Chinese.
First, I was like I shouldn't. On the other hand, I have not had Chinese since back in June so I figured it was okay. I treated myself. With having lost so much weight, my stomach got smaller. I made sure not to over eat. The problem with this is now I have FIVE box of chinese. Granted it is five small chinese boxes but still! I felt like I could not eat it because it will ruin my day for calories. I decided this was enough and looked up the calories for it. I do not think it is neccessary terrible if I try to eat the serving size. If you are curious, they are as the following:
Chinese, chicken - 364 calories
Chicken fried rice, 2 cups - 542 calories
Okay, with that said, I had sesame chicken which I am thinking since 3 oz is a serving size that I can have like 4-5 chunks of chicken. What do you think? Also, I know I would not eat TWO cups of rice. When I do eat rice, in general, I limit myself to just one cup and this would not be any different so when it is broken down like that it really isn't that bad.
With all that said, I am not feeling guilty about my Chinese. I needed to be with friends that nice and not in my room alone and I can eat my Chinese within reason! How exciting!
On a side note, I thought I would update you about my weightloss. Yesterday, I weighed 222.6 and this morning 225.8. Yep, three pounds, *sigh*. As HEIDSO said, I could be retaining water - I've had a bunch of sodium this week. I guess I kinda blamed it on my Chinese when in reaility I think that was part of it. I haven't gone on the elliptical for a couple days. Rather I have been taking walks and I know, for me, I do not burn as many calories because, well, my body is used to walks now. Haha! Anyhow, tomorrow I plan to work out in the morning after my counseling appointment since class is cancelled than I am going to run with my running partner. I feel like I slightly derailed which I did not really. But I am excited about exercising tomorrow. Maybe I will even go for a swim tomorrow night. I think I am going to try to lift on Fridays and maybe work it in more each week. I have not been lifting at all so if I can work it in at least once a week it is improvement!
Well, this is SUPER long - apparently I had alot to share! I hope all is well with you and really kick some butt out there!
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