Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Okay, this is going to be one whiney blog. Hit the red x in the corner now when you can!
I am pouting because I cannot go to soccer. I cannot go to soccer because I am sick. Still. Today, during my last class, I was so exhausted. Afterwards, I came home and cried. Than, called the nurse to get yet another doctor's appointment. I don't know why. They say it is viral and cannot do anything. Mind you, if I go to my appointment on Monday, it will be like the third or fourth time in two weeks.
In addition to saying it is ONLY a sinus infection, they say it is my wisdom teeth coming in. In addition to that, they put me on Prozac, an antidepressant, so I am dealing with those side effects, too.
So, anyhow, back to my pouting. I want to go to soccer. I want to see my friends. I want to run. I want my life back!
I should do my study guide for my quiz tomorrow but honestly, I am not sure if I really care. The quiz (on the heart) is 25 points and open book because it is online. It is timed though so it is not like I have ALL the time in the world. Right now, I am getting an A in the class.. so.. it is kinda the least of my worries...
In addition to that, I am stressed about my class, Motor Learning. My professor were supposed to meet today to discuss my grade and he just blew it off. He had meetings. Apparently, he couldn't have told me this two hours before when I saw him in class. Argh! I find it really inconsiderate! Anyhow, I gotta do some catch up in that class... not sure when I will have time for that though. He didn't say when it was due... like Friday or when we hand in the paper. Argh!
Maybe I will lay down until the pain killers kick in than do at least some of the study guide... some is better than none, I guess. *big, big sigh*
My face has a splotchy rash on it. My poor, poor face. I have decided I want ALL meds OUT of my body. They are NOT helping and I just want my body do what it knows how to do... make me feel better!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
More and more, I realize this year is MY year.
It is MY year to reach my goal weight. Right now, I am about 12# away. Okay, I might be a bit more than considering I went to Applebees and had wings and lava cake. So, let's say 15#. Still, SO close!
It is MY year to run my first Half Marathon. In the last month, I have been asked by four different people to run four different (half) marathons. It is like opportunities keep coming up and I just gotta commit to one. The most recent marathon I was asked about is on April 30. So, maybe I will do that as a "training" marathon. Also, since I turn 25 in April, I feel like it could be a birthday present to me.
More so, my professor told me today how he signed up for Grandma's half marathon. He was super excited about it. I find it great that he was excited to share it with me.
Anyhow, I feel like my community on campus considers ME a runner! Once upon a time, no one would have asked me about any health-related advice. Now, they ask me to run, how to lose weight, to work out with them to keep them motivated. I am honored each and every time they ask.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
After Wednesday's night of intramural soccer, we both felt inepth so we decided to pracitce today. It was alot of fun to kick around .
Later, we decided to shoot some hoops. While in the gymnasium, I noticed a quote that I decided I really like. Probably because it can be applied to weight loss.
“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” -Micheal Jordan
Than, I decided I wanted to try to work out. So, we hopped on the arc trainer. 7 minutes later I got nauseus so we stopped. I figure right now my body can tolerate 20 minutes of physical activity considering we were at the gym for about a little over a hour. It felt good to do a small amount of physical activity.
Anyhow, I hope to this week!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Today I missed class and feel guilty. There I said it!
For the last two weeks, I have been sick. Last week it was basically with a low grade temperature and this week, I have been SO tired, probably could be called fatigue. I do any slight exercise, like going running upstairs and back down, I get wiped out!
For my 8 am class, I overslept on Monday and Friday (today). I talked to the professor on Wednesday, and he said don't worry about it. I guess the attendance policy is there so people don't cut class. Makes sense. But, it still makes me nervous.
In addition to that, I feel like I have been a slacker in the last couple weeks. I have not been going to class as I should be. In the past, I would be cutting class, usually for sleep. At least this time, I have a decent excuse. Still, the other part of me is like.. it is not good enough.
Anyhow, after I overslept, I was just like screw it and didn't go to my other two classes. When I did wake up again, I could feel my stuffy nose got WAY better even though my sinus areas hurt more. So, maybe it wasn't a total waste of time?
Also, I feel guilty about not taking part of the walk out that was happening on my campus in support of the teachers. Google Governor Walker and Wisconsin. That is what I am talking about. But, I knew if I did it, I would wipe myself out since they were walking to city hall. [Do you think someone would carry me back?] Also, I do not really think protests exactly "help". I am more on the idea of writing our congressmen.
Okay, guilt trip over (kinda).
The plan for next week is...
...to attend EVERY SINGLE class
...work out TWO times.
I guess I can't do much about the last two weeks... but I can just try to do my best from here on out!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
When we all start this journey, we have high expectations of what our goal weight will be like. Like it is a magical place. One of my high expectations is I would become coordinated.
I have never really had much coordination, even as a kid. In fact, I worked with a therapist to work on my balance and coordination when I was like four. As I gained weight, I still fumbled but blamed it on my excess weight. In recent times, when I no longer had my weight to hide behind, I have tried new things.
Each and every time I get frustrated. For some reason I thought I would magically have coordination like my fellow classmates. And, more and more I am reminded I have practice to have that coordination. They have been "practicing" for years.
Last night, I encounter frustration again.
My friend wanted to do intramural sports so I put everything together, even said I would be captain of the soccer team. Well, it turns out she probably will not be doing it anyways. [Don't get me started on that!] Even through I knew my body was exhausted, I played.
I tried my best.
But, sometimes in competition, it seems like your best isn't good enough. I messed up alot.
I felt like floundering fish out there.
I felt like I was the weakness link and keeping the team back.
I felt frustrated.
It was our first game we played as a team so we definitely had some figuring out to do.
On our second game, I wasn't feeling well. In fact, I was quite pale. So, I sat out. We won.
Okay, okay. We didn't win because I sat out.
We played a team more our level.
We had things a bit more figured out.. like who is going to play what position.
A couple others had more confidence and charged ahead with it!
Anyhow, I feel like they don't need me and want to quit. I feel super anxious about it and it's alot of emotional stress. I hate always being the one with the lowest level of coordination. This needs to change. I want this to change. I want to be like my fellow friends with an ease in coordination. *sigh* My friend and I are going to practice this weekend - not sure if it is going to help.
On a more positive note, last night was the first time I did any physical activity in like two weeks [because I've been sick] and it felt GREAT! I cannot wait until I can run again... or really do anything. Right now, I do any physical activity and I get wiped out! My body is definitely trying to fight something.
By the way, I am on amoxillican for the next month. They think it is a sinus infection. I do not. But, we will do it. My platelets are down and that makes me nervous. I have to go back in a month to get retested. I am sure they are down because my body has been fighting some sort of infection for the last month. But, still nervous.
Okay, time to catch up on life... have a wonderful day!
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