Sunday, December 26, 2010
Hope everyone had a good Christmas, if you celebrate. Overall, I think I did. Besides eating, LOTS! Just because I have lost a chunk of weight, it does not mean I like food any less. Honestly, I feel like I like food more.. like I savor the food I shouldn't have and love the fruits and veggies even more! I went a bit crazy on Christmas day... oops. Tomorrow is my weigh in so we will see how much "loving" food cost me. Putting the food aside (like I should have done yesterday), I thought many of you would be happy to know that I got pepper spray for Christmas. Happy Running! And, it's even pink!
Moving on... to goals! Big surprise, right?! Okay, maybe not.. but here they are anyhow!
-Make goal weight of 150 (So close, but SO far away!)
-Run SIX 5Ks (I did two in '09, and four in '10)
-Run a 10K race (Sounds daunting but feel like I need to move to the next step!)
-Pay off credit card (Just cuz it needs to go!)
-Count calories again
-Focus on drinking water
Last month, I fell out of exercising and counting calories everyday and I am hoping January will help me get back into the groove! I need to before classes start again! I am thinking of taking a 6 AM Spinning Class at the YMCA. That means getting up around 5 AM!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Today, I was feeling alot of feelings - lonely, sad, frustrated, disappointed, excited - which I just ended up feeling really crabby.
Anyhow, I was eating lunch alone in the cafeteria. When this guy that I have seen around approached me and started to talk to me about a class we had together like three semesters ago. I started to wonder if he was going to try to pick me up.
It was even better than that! He asked about my weight loss.. you know how much, and how I did it. Than, he was telling me about how he is trying to lose weight and stuff... and asked ME for advice! As I wanted to hand him a business card I didn't have, I realized I really could enjoy being a personal trainer and LOVE it.
Anyhow, I am trying to focus on that... and going on our first official date with Nick who I haven't seen for five days!!!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Since starting to count my calories again.. so like three days ago.. I feel like today is the first day I am in range again!
With all this calorie business, it got me to thinking about how I need to have new goals and even rewards. Right now, I don't really have any new goals besides losing the next ten pounds. For me, that would mean.. weighing 170. I think I am going to set a reward for that to. Something I know I should do but like never do.
I have decided that once I see 170 in the evil little scale... I am throwing out the majority of my undies. No, I am NOT going commando but rather buying sexy undies. Part of it is for my BF but also for me. I feel sexier and more confident with sexy intimates. So, why not?
I'm worth it!!!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Holy moly! I can't stop eating! HELP?!!!
It started yesterday... I just munched and munched.. on healthy foods like carrots and such. I am SO glad I threw out those cookies a few days ago. I don't get full and have no stopping point right now. It is like I have been starving and haven't ate for years. The word "no" is no longer in my vocabulary!
What in the world is going on!?!!!
Well, I know I was stressed earlier about my new relationship. You know how it is with all those questions. I think the main one is... will it last? Beyond that, it is graduation today. I tend to get sad about that everytime... with people moving on. When this happens, I don't hear from them again.
Well, that's that!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
When I gain weight, even the smallest amounts, I get upset. I don't always talk about it.. but it's there. I'm annoyed. Irritable. Crabby. Grumpy. Most the time I deal with it by trying to do better with calories and exercise that day. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
In fact, my boyfriend has picked up on it. He told me that today... which took me by surprise. We have only been dating for a couple weeks... and he noticed! My weight loss is a huge deal to me so it was a huge deal for me that he knew that I was crabby because of that even though I never once mentioned it!
In the last couple weeks, since we started dated, I have gained nearly THREE pounds. Yup, I am .4 from 180 after all that hard work! I am not too happy about it either. I would love to blame it on my new b/f but the thing is, I know it isn't his fault. He doesn't care what I eat... what guy does, really?
I think its more that my focused motivation and determination have been slacking.. or missing. Honestly, I do not think it has anything to do with the holidays. Nope, I cannot blame it on the holidays either. I feel like it has been slowly building up over time. A few months ago, I stopped counted calories. Than, slowly I could have dessert with every meal. I didn't restrict myself anymore. Now, I am not super strict with my exercise. I exercise whatever I do. Basically, I have relaxed about it all.
I feel like I am partly on and off the wagon. People say they fall off. I don't feel like I fell off completely. I still enjoy my fruits and veggies. I still gotta have my exercise. BUT... I also love my sweets.
When I eat poorly, I understand completely how someone could gain all their weight back. They (whoever they are) say if you keep off the weight for a year than you will.. but like 70% (or some crazy high percentage like that) will gain back their loss weight in the first year. I want to lose it once and for all!
Anyhow, am I stopping because if I continue I would be in uncharted waters and it terrifies me? We all have expectations of reaching our goal weight. Am I afraid they won't come true once my goal weight is reached? Is it time to switch my focus from losing weight to maybe a more concrete goal like running a Half Marathon?
I really am not sure. But I do know one thing. I will not be able to lose much more weight until I figure these questions out. Maybe I should write why exactly I am doing this. ANEPANALIPTI's vlog really gave me something to think about it when she talked about it. I am sure some goals have changed.. from when I was at 260 and now at 180ish.
Anyhow, I think I need to re-focus and be very strict. In other words, go back to the basics. Counting calories and strict exercise!
(And, no more cookies!!! I think I have had enough for quite awhile!)
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