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THECRAZYMANGO's Recent Blog Entries

Christmas (and Goals).

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Hope everyone had a good Christmas, if you celebrate. emoticon Overall, I think I did. Besides eating, LOTS! Just because I have lost a chunk of weight, it does not mean I like food any less. Honestly, I feel like I like food more.. like I savor the food I shouldn't have and love the fruits and veggies even more! I went a bit crazy on Christmas day... oops. Tomorrow is my weigh in so we will see how much "loving" food cost me. emoticon Putting the food aside (like I should have done yesterday), I thought many of you would be happy to know that I got pepper spray for Christmas. Happy Running! emoticon And, it's even pink!

Moving on... to goals! Big surprise, right?! Okay, maybe not.. but here they are anyhow!

2011 Goals:
-Make goal weight of 150 (So close, but SO far away!)
-Run SIX 5Ks (I did two in '09, and four in '10)
-Run a 10K race (Sounds daunting but feel like I need to move to the next step!)
-Pay off credit card (Just cuz it needs to go!)

January Goals:
-Exercise everyday
-Count calories again
-Focus on drinking water

Last month, I fell out of exercising and counting calories everyday and I am hoping January will help me get back into the groove! I need to before classes start again! I am thinking of taking a 6 AM Spinning Class at the YMCA. That means getting up around 5 AM! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANEPANALIPTI 12/28/2010 3:30PM

    Lovin the goals and the attitude towards food! Here's to 2011 being goal weight year! :D

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PATRICIAANN46 12/27/2010 9:28PM

  Your goals sound very doable. I don't know if I could SPIN at 6AM, but you are young..........
!!! I am so glad that someone got you pepper spray. I feel better about you running alone now. But, I still wish you would run with a partner.
I KNOW that you will reach your goal in 2011!!!!! Look what you have accomplished so far......... emoticon

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LIQUEURLADY 12/27/2010 6:40PM

    Let's us both have a great year! (even loving food!)

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TAMTAMM 12/27/2010 8:38AM

    Sounds like you know what you want emoticon!
Here's emoticon to you in 2011! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/27/2010 8:44:40 AM

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CRISSYCURRY 12/26/2010 10:22PM

    Sounds like you have great goals! Good luck with them!

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LCORTEZ7 12/26/2010 8:55PM

    Great goals! Glad to hear that Santa was thinking about your safety (pepper spray)this year emoticon. I need to get back on tracking calories too. I've really let that go. 2011 has good things in store for you. Just remember one step at a time. emoticon

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This made my day! Woo-hoo! :)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Today, I was feeling alot of feelings - lonely, sad, frustrated, disappointed, excited - which I just ended up feeling really crabby.

Anyhow, I was eating lunch alone in the cafeteria. When this guy that I have seen around approached me and started to talk to me about a class we had together like three semesters ago. I started to wonder if he was going to try to pick me up.

It was even better than that! He asked about my weight loss.. you know how much, and how I did it. Than, he was telling me about how he is trying to lose weight and stuff... and asked ME for advice! emoticon As I wanted to hand him a business card I didn't have, I realized I really could enjoy being a personal trainer and LOVE it.

Anyhow, I am trying to focus on that... and going on our first official date with Nick who I haven't seen for five days!!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 12/21/2010 6:49PM

  YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! What a great reward....... emoticon

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LCORTEZ7 12/21/2010 1:32PM

    Great for you! Enjoy the date and be yourself. You're a great person.

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KROCKSTAR 12/21/2010 8:55AM

    Awesome!!! It's nice to be noticed. Have fun on your date!!!!

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LIQUEURLADY 12/20/2010 11:07PM

    I'd be walking on air! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 12/20/2010 10:56PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TAMTAMM 12/20/2010 4:44PM

    Wow that is emoticon!! You should have a smile from ear to ear emoticon

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SHERYLDS 12/20/2010 4:38PM

    I so am happy for you. Great way to start a New Year.
Keep it up my friend. You see how it's working for you
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JANEMAR2 12/20/2010 4:33PM

    Congratulations! emoticon

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BAILEYS7OF9 12/20/2010 4:33PM

    emoticonglad something came along to turn around your day!

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My reward when I reach 170!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Since starting to count my calories again.. so like three days ago.. I feel like today is the first day I am in range again! emoticon

With all this calorie business, it got me to thinking about how I need to have new goals and even rewards. Right now, I don't really have any new goals besides losing the next ten pounds. For me, that would mean.. weighing 170. I think I am going to set a reward for that to. Something I know I should do but like never do.

I have decided that once I see 170 in the evil little scale... I am throwing out the majority of my undies. No, I am NOT going commando but rather buying sexy undies. Part of it is for my BF but also for me. I feel sexier and more confident with sexy intimates. So, why not?

I'm worth it!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOMANCHEF 12/20/2010 7:32AM

    You are worth it! Get rid of those granny panties. emoticon

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I can't stop eating... help?!!!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Holy moly! I can't stop eating! HELP?!!!

It started yesterday... I just munched and munched.. on healthy foods like carrots and such. I am SO glad I threw out those cookies a few days ago. I don't get full and have no stopping point right now. It is like I have been starving and haven't ate for years. The word "no" is no longer in my vocabulary!

What in the world is going on!?!!!

Well, I know I was stressed earlier about my new relationship. You know how it is with all those questions. I think the main one is... will it last? Beyond that, it is graduation today. I tend to get sad about that everytime... with people moving on. When this happens, I don't hear from them again.

Well, that's that!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAANN46 12/19/2010 3:26PM

  I have been eating way too much lately too, and I know that it is STRESS. I try to binge on the healthy foods, but I'm not always successful!!!! It will pass. I KNOW what I have to do!!!

Thank you for your kind comments on my blog yesterday. It means a lot to have good friends like you. emoticon

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CYNTHIAMINUS40 12/18/2010 9:08PM

    I agree with Dimitra. When I'm embarking on a binge there's always some emotion behind it that I'm not letting myself feel. Journaling sometimes helps me. When I was in OA years ago I had people I could call from my group that would help talk me through it.

Whatever is happening I hope you are able to move through it and forward. All the best to you.

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ANEPANALIPTI 12/18/2010 6:48PM

    Stop. Breathe.

Ask yourself the question: What would happen if I stopped eating?

My answers lately have been : I would feel loneliness. I would feel empty. I would feel lost.

Whatever your answer is , really stop and let it sink in, what feeling do I not want to feel?

Is it the unknown? Is it the fact that the future of your relationship is something you can't predict so eating helps numb that out?

Whatever it is, the truth is that after you're done eating that feeling will still be there. You'll just have two negative feelings. One from eating, and what was eating at you in the first place!!!

Message me if you want to talk, or if you're feeling out of control, k? *hugs*


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Taking Responsibility.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

When I gain weight, even the smallest amounts, I get upset. I don't always talk about it.. but it's there. I'm annoyed. Irritable. Crabby. Grumpy. Most the time I deal with it by trying to do better with calories and exercise that day. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

In fact, my boyfriend has picked up on it. He told me that today... which took me by surprise. We have only been dating for a couple weeks... and he noticed! My weight loss is a huge deal to me so it was a huge deal for me that he knew that I was crabby because of that even though I never once mentioned it!

In the last couple weeks, since we started dated, I have gained nearly THREE pounds. Yup, I am .4 from 180 after all that hard work! emoticon I am not too happy about it either. I would love to blame it on my new b/f but the thing is, I know it isn't his fault. He doesn't care what I eat... what guy does, really?

I think its more that my focused motivation and determination have been slacking.. or missing. Honestly, I do not think it has anything to do with the holidays. Nope, I cannot blame it on the holidays either. I feel like it has been slowly building up over time. A few months ago, I stopped counted calories. Than, slowly I could have dessert with every meal. I didn't restrict myself anymore. Now, I am not super strict with my exercise. I exercise whatever I do. Basically, I have relaxed about it all.

I feel like I am partly on and off the wagon. People say they fall off. I don't feel like I fell off completely. I still enjoy my fruits and veggies. I still gotta have my exercise. BUT... I also love my sweets.

When I eat poorly, I understand completely how someone could gain all their weight back. They (whoever they are) say if you keep off the weight for a year than you will.. but like 70% (or some crazy high percentage like that) will gain back their loss weight in the first year. emoticon I want to lose it once and for all!

Anyhow, am I stopping because if I continue I would be in uncharted waters and it terrifies me? We all have expectations of reaching our goal weight. Am I afraid they won't come true once my goal weight is reached? Is it time to switch my focus from losing weight to maybe a more concrete goal like running a Half Marathon?

I really am not sure. But I do know one thing. I will not be able to lose much more weight until I figure these questions out. Maybe I should write why exactly I am doing this. ANEPANALIPTI's vlog really gave me something to think about it when she talked about it. I am sure some goals have changed.. from when I was at 260 and now at 180ish.

Anyhow, I think I need to re-focus and be very strict. In other words, go back to the basics. Counting calories and strict exercise!

(And, no more cookies!!! I think I have had enough for quite awhile!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANEPANALIPTI 12/18/2010 3:29PM

    AH, you are SO on the right path, talking it out and figuring out exactly what's going on. emoticon I believe in you!!!!

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LIQUEURLADY 12/18/2010 12:49PM

    I'm sure it's not an easy answer to find, no matter how many suggestions others may offer. Please just be sure to keep loving yourself and not beating yourself up for being human.

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WOMANCHEF 12/18/2010 8:33AM

    Great post - you can do it! You know what needs to be done - just stick to it.

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SHERYLDS 12/18/2010 6:38AM

    You have the solution. Go for it. You KNOW you can do this. I know you can do this. I believe in you

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CIVIAV 12/18/2010 12:49AM

    Those questions are knocking at your door. Back to basics will work wonders. You are so worth way more than dozens of cookies. You are as some SPARKERS say Freakin Awesome!


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CTTAGENT 12/18/2010 12:44AM

    You are not alone in your journey. You are correct about answering your questions to prevent self-sabotage or relapse. Save some cookies for celebrating something special.

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