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My Trip (and an update).

Saturday, October 30, 2010

I am sure some of you are wondering how my trip went. It went alright. Here are the highlights (good and bad) of the trip.

The sessions were awesome. My favorite one was watching the jump roping wizards. They did things that I didn't know were possible with a jump rope. They ranged from age 6-14. Also, I got to see tinikling for the first time. I could have tried it out but behind my knee hurt real bad and I didn't want to mess it up. Here is a youtube clip for you to get an idea of what in the world I am talking about.

In addition to the a-maz-ing sessions, I played in the Chula Vista waterpark. Boy, did my legs get a work out climbing those darn stairs. And, here, I thought I was in decent shape, haha.

Things were going great. I was having fun. Than, guess what? I was thrown in a depression episode. I am not going to lie. It sucked. I suddenly wanted to cry. I went for a 3 mile
emoticon. It was great. I was feeling better. Than I called my mom. She did not help. I started crying again. A couple people I trusted were in the room and one of them earned some major points in the way they were caring.

For the next day, I could tell people didn't want to talk to me. They'd talk to my friend but never strike a conversation. Honestly, I kinda withdrew from the group. Eventually, I felt like I was just tagging along.

During a recent conversation, my mom said I shouldn't go on these trips because they throw me into depression. So.. does that mean I do not get to do normal things just because I have depression? Should I quit living my life too because it might happen?

Would I go on the trip again? YES!!! I did have fun. I did form some friendships that I wouldn't have on campus.

What would I do different? I would exercise the two days before the trip like it was going out of style. I would somehow find a way to move the FOUR tests to not a day before I leave for the trip. It was what it was. I cannot go back.

The trip did make me wonder if I should become PE teacher.. not sure about that yet. I think I want to but my GPA is just not there. If I did, I could have my summers off and work as a charity race coordinator, something I want to do anyhow, during the summers. Besides being a PE teacher I think I want to become a Zumba instructor and have been looking into that. Another job I could do during the summer.

There were other things - good and bad - that happened but this was basically it.

For those that have been curious about an update about my car situation...
My window is fixed and just this week I got my cards again. So happy! I don't feel naked anymore! I am working on being more comfortable with my world again and not so paranoid. I am not sure if I will ever feel 100% safe again. Maybe that is not a bad thing. Once you feel safe, your defenses go down.

Have everyone is having a great weekend! I think I am going to go for a jaunt around the neighborhood!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 11/1/2010 10:04AM

    Glad your trip went relatively well.

Depression is such a sneaky Pete! My DS suggers from depression. **SIGH** He moved out of the house 2 days after his 18th birthday (this August) -- long story -- but I do worry about him, because I know he's not taking his meds. With the shorter days being a trigger for him, it is a worry. BUT I am trying to let go of my own anxiety . . . HE'S got to handle it.

I blabber. Being a PE teacher (AND Zumba instructor) are excellent goals! You'll know what's right for you.

Have a good Monday.

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/31/2010 7:53PM

    I'm glad it went pretty well! I totally identify with you and the depression. SO get you!!!!!!! And I'm liking your thoughts for the future.... ;-)


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PATRICIAANN46 10/31/2010 2:37PM

  I am glad to hear that, for the most part, your trip was a good one. Vacations can be tiring too and it sounds like you were majorly busy before you even headed out for the trip. Could the depression have occurred because you were worn out? I don't know what kind of treatment you are undergoing to help with your depression, but could that be changed some?
I was a teacher and I can honestly say that I never regretted my choice. Working with kids (I taught 6th grade through Seniors) can be challenging, but it also keeps you young and can be very rewarding. No one keeps you more honest with your feelings than kids. You seem to really care and kids zone in on that immediately.
Glad to hear your window is fixed and that you have your cards replaced. I hope that you will always be careful......not paranoid, but aware.
Happy Halloween....... emoticon

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SHERYLDS 10/30/2010 4:36PM

    Glad to hear you had fun on your trip. you were missed.
With your warm personality ... you would make a great teacher. I also think you would make a great physical therapist, should you ever decide to go that route. You're caring, kind, and patient.

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My BMI Stats (So far)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Today I read a few blogs about the idea of what the right weight is. Most people use the BMI Calculator to determine this even through research has shown it is fairly inaccurate. Anyhow, I decided to play around with the BMI calculator. Here are some stats I am excited for.

Starting Weight: 260 (BMI 43.3, Obese)
Current Weight: 183 (BMI 30.4, Obese) - A mere 1.4% or 4# away from the overweight range!!!
Goal Weight: 150 (BMI 25, Overweight) - 1% away from the normal range!!!

To say the least, I am super excited that I will be able to say I have not obese in the very near future! emoticon

Today, I did another 45 minutes on the elliptical while catching up with a friend. It was really nice!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 10/28/2010 8:59AM

    Good job!!! WooHoo! Way to go! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/26/2010 5:28PM

    WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!! Ringing in 2011 with a bang! :D

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CEESERENITY 10/26/2010 12:17AM

    Thanks so much again for all your support this past week! emoticon It's meant a lot! I liked the suggestions about breaking up the walk and having green tea! And wow, congratulations- you are well on your way to getting to your goal! emoticon

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VICIOUS421 10/25/2010 3:06AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SHERYLDS 10/24/2010 8:07PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Fantastic! All your hard work is really paying off

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LIQUEURLADY 10/24/2010 5:49PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Great that you were able to catch up with your friend while exercising instead of over some food event.

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THENEWKATIEB 10/24/2010 4:50PM

    You are doing a great job! emoticon emoticon

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MEADSBAY 10/24/2010 4:04PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

You are doing grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

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Burning Machine

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Lately, I have been seeing/reading a lot of articles about the little things to do to increase our metabolism. It sure add up after a while! Here are a few that are pretty consistent in my life right now!

emoticon Exercise for 10 minutes and your metabolism is increased for a hour after that. [I have been trying to walk to school and back everyday. One way takes 10 minutes.]

emoticon Drink cold water, so your body has to warm it up. [I love ice cold water!]

emoticon Green tea has natural caffeine! [Nothing like a good cinnamon green tea in the morning!]

emoticon Strength training increases our metabolism for 48 hours. It does this because it is "fix" the damage. From class, I learned most often water is used for these processes and that is why it seems like we retain water the day after. In other words, you body is working!

emoticon Snacking makes our body work, too, through processing the food. [Who doesn't enjoy a snack here and there?]

I guess it only makes sense for me to start to feel like a burning machine. I have been lifting weights in the last couple weeks more consistently and now am down to 183.2 [yes, the 0.2 is important!]. emoticon Hope you are having a emoticon weekend!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICIOUS421 10/24/2010 2:28AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NAMSMOMMY 10/23/2010 4:36PM

    Looks like you are a machine, and best thing is you are learning how to maintain that machine properly!

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/23/2010 4:31PM

    This blog was full of things I didn't know!!

LOL that must be why I was fat! I hate cold water! emoticon

CINNAMON GREEN TEA!?!?! That sounds LOVELY!!!!

Ahhhhh that makes sense why they recommend smaller meals!!

Loved this! :)

Dimitra emoticon

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Mental Block

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The last few months I have been bouncing around the point where I have lost 75#. Not losing much more. I don't think it was plateau because my weight was changing. Personally, I think it is a mental block. I am not sure if I am quite over it. I have been trying to wrap my mind around weighing 180 or 170 or even 160. Isn't the theory.. if you can picture it, you can achieve it? Well, I am having trouble picturing it. I have never been at this weight in my adult life.

This week I feel like I could have been working harder. For example, eating dessert at EVERY meal could be one way. In fact, last night I was thinking of having two goals for next week. They'd be not weigh in everyday.. even skipping one day is a win.. and to skip dessert at every meal. Also, I feel like I haven't been working out as much in the last month. I have been lifting weights more.. so that is a victory in it's self!

Anywho, I decided I wanted to weigh myself this morning. While showering I had a chat with myself. It was going to be okay if I was the same weight as yesterday or even a couple days ago. But I wasn't.

I weighed 184.2. Than weighed myself again. 183.8. Woah! The scale is broken! I weighed again and again and again. Still 183.8. Wow! I guess pure determination does work when your heart isn't in it!

Well, I definitely have to go work out today (and lift). I want to stay in the 183s! Wow, that takes some getting used to just seeing!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITTERLIFE4ME 10/22/2010 7:35AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SHERYLDS 10/22/2010 5:23AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MSJULES01 10/21/2010 4:32PM

    You will succeed.
Maybe you should take a weight with you. When you get the urge to have a dessert. Make yourself lift it 10 times.

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SUNNYDJ1971 10/21/2010 2:09PM

    Way to go! It can be so hard! Keep up the hard work!

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BAILEYS7OF9 10/21/2010 1:54PM


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PATRICIAANN46 10/21/2010 1:28PM

  YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!!! emoticon

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PARKIE 10/21/2010 12:39PM

    I know exactly what you are talking about

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APIRLRAIN888 10/21/2010 12:24PM

    lol you are me for 160 which is only 3 lbs away! but I too have a mental block!
its my original start weight in spring!
when I pass it I officially lost 20lbs!

my real journey begin! never seen past 159, 155 is my lowest for only a day!!
so yes totally know how you feel

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The Big Scheme of Things

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Sometimes a girl just has to vent.

Last week, a butt head stole my wallet. Okay, it happened but I am dealing with it. I cannot stress enough how very sick of people asking me in the last couple days if I have canceled my cards. Seriously!? It happened last Wednesday. Do you really think I am that stupid to wait a week later to call my cards? OF COURSE I DID! [Calming breath.]

In the last week, I have been dealing with my stress fairly well. I went home and didn't take it out on the family even when my sister was being.. a.. well you know.

Than, last night at work when I had to do something else that should have been done last week (when I was gone).. I still did not snap. At this point, I was starting to getting stressed out.

Than, today I was annoyed with people but I was doing better. I had an endorphin high. Than, I went to supper with my old friend. [Another calming breath.] I explained I was VERY stressed. He had the balls to ask why. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY? My wallet got stolen last week! Someone could be opening accounts in my name and I cannot do a single thing. Mind you, I did not yell. Or snap. Rather I calmly explained I was stressed about wallet.

Than, still NOT getting it. He asked is it mid-terms. NO, it is NOT mid terms. If I failed ALL my midterms, things could be worse. In the big theme of things, they do not matter. After it was clear I was not being talkative, he precedes to vent about his professors and how they are all out to get him. Give me a break!!! Maybe, just MAYBE, you shouldn't schedule your doctor appointments during tests that cannot be rescheduled! Use some common sense!!! [Grr!]

I think during supper is where I reached my breaking point. During this incident, it was crystal clear I was lucky. Yes, they took my wallet. But, it could have been worse. I could have encountered them and got hurt. It is just stuff. If I failed my mid-terms, it wouldn't matter. Yes, it would suck, but in the big scheme of things.. WHO CARES! It doesn't matter!

This week my sister's best friend's brother committed suicide. This just nailed it down even more that these little things do not matter. We still are here. We still have our health.

Tomorrow is being called Life Pride Day. I will be wearing purple. It is wrong these boys felt so alone that they could not reach out. The ONLY positive thing is that it got the attention of the media, celebrities and senators. I hope things will soon change.

Just remember today, things can be worse... things can be replaced, or tests can be retaken, and tomorrow is a NEW day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITTERLIFE4ME 10/22/2010 7:25AM

    emoticonStay Strong!

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/20/2010 1:31PM

    emoticon :)

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NAMSMOMMY 10/20/2010 10:21AM

    That is absolutely true. Thank you for sharing!

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NAMSMOMMY 10/20/2010 10:20AM

    That is absolutely true. Thank you for sharing!

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WOMANCHEF 10/20/2010 6:50AM

    Stress is awful but you are right to look at it in the big scheme of things. Everything can be dealt with and changed one way or another. As Stitchingnan said - tomorrow is always another day and a new start. emoticon

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STITCHINGNAN 10/20/2010 5:19AM

    I did feel for you over all that stress. Some days are like that but you added a reminder to yourself and others ending in tomorros ie a new day. So true. Dont let others stress you out, we are all good at doing that without help from well meaning friends! Warm wishes Ree emoticon

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