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Stress + Going Home = 5 Lbs Gain

Sunday, October 17, 2010

This weekend I went home.. and promptly gained FIVE pounds. emoticon In the past, I would have been quite upset but today I am okay with it.

How did it happen? Well, on Wednesday my wallet got stolen (as most of you know) and so I had to be thrown in action ASAP. It was fine. I had pretty much everyone called that night. The next day people kept telling me that I need to call the cards and telling me what I need to do. Even when I would tell them I had it under control, they would give me the look that says they didn't think so. Thank you. Really. I don't have enough on my plate. [Mind you, I am not talking about any of my Spark Friends. Everyone has been very supportive! Also, this does not include all my friends at school.. just a handful!]

At this point, I was sick of everyone telling me what to do. So, I went home. My parents knew I was doing all I could. On Friday, I spent at least FOUR hours driving to get stuff done like getting a new Driver's License, requesting a new SS card, and getting a new window put in my card.

Whenever I go home, I always struggle with not gaining pounds back. It seems like all we do is eat.. and eat.. and eat. I never get physically hungry. At supper, I once had my niece ask me why I wasn't eating anymore (while everyone else was). I explained to her because I wasn't hungry anymore. And, on top of those obstacles, I am the only one that exercises regularly. Couple all that with this wallet incident. emoticon

I was doing okay on Thursday and Friday.. than Saturday came along. Every time I turned around my sister was eating. When someone is eating, I want to eat. Uh-oh. Well, something snapped in me. I was so tired of fighting myself so I just let myself go. And, did I eat! In fact, after seeing me eat modestly when I am at the house, than seeing me eat a BIG bowl of emoticon, my mom commented on it. I told her that I wasn't weighing myself anymore. It is the truth. I wasn't going to.

Than, I felt fat! emoticon The very reason I started this journey. To not be a body of jello fat! This morning I weighed myself on my scale. 190 point something. I kinda quite reading after 190 part. I knew it was inaccurate. How? Well, one, it wasn't my scale, and two, I ate pickles yesterday. Hello, sodium!

When I back home, I weighed myself on my own scale.. 189.6. Better.. but still way TOO close to the 190s. I worked so hard to break into the 180s. Tomorrow, I am hoping to be around 188. I know I gained weight. It is okay. I have been under some stress and I do not think anyone blames me. I just have to get back on the horse.. and I will (with some vengeance)!

In summary, I am okay with it. I was under some stress without taking it out on my family. Yes, I ate TONS but I will get it under control again. I WILL get to my goal weight.. sooner or later.. gosh darn it! My new goal for Halloween is to get under 185 and STAY there! For the last few months, I feel like I have been bouncing all over the place! Tomorrow, I hope the accurate weigh-in will be around 188. *crosses fingers*

Now, if I could just find myself a running buddy, I would be golden! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 10/18/2010 8:13PM

    AWWW . . . glad that you took the time to go home and be with family after your ordeal.

You know stress sets off the whole "fight or flight" syndrome which releases TONS of cortisol into your system . . . which makes your body retain water and just plays havoc with your appetite. SOOOO . . . as was said, just be kind but firm with yourself. You can do this!

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MEADSBAY 10/18/2010 9:00AM

    Good attitude!
Be kind but firm with yourself.

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CRISSYCURRY 10/18/2010 8:35AM

    I understand!! But you didn't gain 5 lbs of fat. Some of that is probably water retention. Give it a few days and the scale should adjust. In the mean time, drink a lot of water and eat right to make up for this weekend. I went to a wedding on Saturday and ate more than I should have, after eating out for each meal (breakfast, lunch and dinner!! We were out of town.) - Hang in there and don't give up!! emoticon

And we can be "virtual" running buddies!! emoticon

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WOMANCHEF 10/18/2010 6:57AM

    emoticon Those journeys can be so hard. It is great that you are not beating yourself up about it. The pounds will come off.

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HEART4HOME 10/18/2010 5:17AM

    emoticon I know this week you will rock it! I wish I lived near you because I would run with you or behind you because I am still mustering up the courage to give it a try. Hang in there Spark friend. emoticon

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VICIOUS421 10/18/2010 3:59AM


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NAMSMOMMY 10/18/2010 12:33AM

    You need to RELAX! Maybe cut up some celery for next time, then you can eat without feeling guilty.

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They are just things.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Remember the trail I absolutely LOVED towards the end of the summer? The same one that I lost on a few weeks back? Well, I am breaking up with it.

This afternoon I went for a run on this very trail. I completed 3 miles in 37 minutes. emoticon Right?

When I left I had an uneasy feeling.. but shook it off. It is silly to feel uneasy.. or was it? When I got back, 38 minutes later, my car was broken into and my purse that I left in the front seat was gone. emoticon They didn't take my CDs or anything else.

At first I was very shaken up. There was a lady that just pulled up to walk the trail with her son and I asked her what to do. I called the police. While waiting, I took photos. (I'd show you but I can't get them off my phone onto the computer.) You can tell they took a baseball bat to it. The entire window was shattered.

Tonight, I think I have things under control. I called my bank and a couple other cards. I did have my social security card in my wallet. That alone will be a headache so I will have to call them tomorrow. There are a few other things that are going to be a pain.. but things happen.

It's strange. I have been rather calm though out the entire thing. I guess I know it could have been worse. I could have encountered the person/people and could have gotten hurt. I can replace things like my cards. Yes, it is a headache.. but I am not hurt.

I guess my parents raised me right. When you are placed in a hard situation, you truly find out your values. Some people would be extremely stressed. Don't get me wrong, I am stressed but I know it will be okay, too. These things can be replaced. They are just things. I am truly blessed.

PS.: If you haven't figured it out, I am not going to my conference tomorrow. emoticonI need to take care of this business. There will be another one at the end of the month. I am going to go home and take care of a few things, RELAX, and run/walk in a SAFE area.

Also, my run was excellent and I no longer feel depressed. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 10/17/2010 9:15PM

    What a horrible thing to have happen! I am glad you're safe and that you're going ot fun in a safer place. YIKES!

Good luck getting everything taken care of.

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PATRICIAANN46 10/15/2010 6:34PM

  You are OK and that IS the main thing. My son had his wallet and SS card stolen a couple of months ago and we called the police. All the SS office did was to replace his card. They don't do anything preventive. He had his Driver's License replaced. We called his bank right away. He doesn't have any credit cards, but we do have to watch for any activity that would indicate someone else opening a card in his name. There is a lot of info online re: identity theft that should help you out.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I think I would find a new place to run. It just doesn't sound safe there. with a buddy......please!!! emoticon

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HANNAHV 10/15/2010 3:14AM

    Bummer! Glad you are ok emoticon emoticon

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MEADSBAY 10/14/2010 10:44AM

I hate mean selfish people like that!

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KATHLEEN0222 10/14/2010 9:47AM

    so glad you are safe! You are right, it is only stuff! YOU are more important!

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TAMTAMM 10/14/2010 9:40AM

    That is scary....but you didnt get hurt that is the main thing. You just wanted to go out for a run and enjoy the weather and then you have to come back to that. That isnt right! Sounds like you are handling it with your head up and taking care of things. Good for you for not bringing you down! : )

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STARGAZER08 10/14/2010 7:26AM

    SO glad you are safe! Hope the rest isn't too big of a hassle for you!

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BELLALUCIA 10/14/2010 6:34AM

    I hope you get things replaced quickly and here's to ur health!

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STITCHINGNAN 10/14/2010 6:10AM

    You have the right attitude about a dreadful incident. There are sick peopel around who do vilonce just for the sake of it. You can rise above their level. Keep on running. Ree emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/14/2010 3:12AM

    emoticon Aw sweety I'm glad you're OK and the depression is gone!!!! I hope this isn't too much of a headache.

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ONLYTEMPORARY 10/14/2010 2:19AM

    I am glad you weren't physically hurt. One thing in never to leave anything in site a thief would want. When I go to the gym, my purse is under the seat out of site or in the trunk. You did right making the calls as quickly as you did so you won't be held responsible for charges on your account. Try and rest tonight and do what you need to tomorrow.

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SUMMERWINDS 10/13/2010 10:37PM

    Yes, the most important thing is you are OK! All that "stuff" is just that...stuff! No worries, sounds as if you have it all under control:)

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HIKINGSD 10/13/2010 10:29PM

    Glad you are safe!

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I hate you, depression!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The last couple weeks have been fairly good. Life was good.. than.. BAM!
I wanted to cry.. for no apparent reason. Seriously, depression, you want to come out and play now? I was so frustrated. I thought I was over this.. guess not. Maybe I will cry.. just for sake that it is never going to go away. I hate if I do have two hours of exercise like everyday.. I am so irritable than I get depressed. Mind you, I am not sad. No that is not how it works. Nope. I am emotionless and empty. It is much worse than being sad. Being sad I can work with.

But today was a new day. Right? Not really. I have been pretty annoyed and crabby. I kinda want to hide away from the world, eat what I want, not care about exercise, forget everyone, just work on homework.. and be by myself. *sigh*

Well, I don't think I get that choice. Nope, I gotta be responsible and go to class. The positive? I am going to self defense.. and hopefully *crosses fingers* I can get my frustration and annoyance out. Man, I hope I don't get my partner that sucks the life out of that class. You know the one that thinks smiling takes work. Hello, girl, it is supposed to be fun.. than smile.. please? Or not.

At least by exercising I will be back to my normal self sooner or later. Also, I went to salon and that was nice. I did get a 88% on my A&P Lab Test.. yup, ladies and gentlemen, that is a high B. Woo-hoo!

Off to self defense I go.. maybe I will hurt someone. (Kidding!) emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAILEYS7OF9 10/15/2010 6:50PM

    Do you have a bag you can hit w/ boxing gloves? I have been reading back issues of Shape and I think it was Leanne Rimes that every now an then tells her trainer, we're boxing today, I need to hit something! Maybe that will help you BEAT it out of ya!

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PATRICIAANN46 10/13/2010 7:53PM

  When you listed all of the GOOD things going for you, you were well on your way to giving Depression the boot.
You will be fine. You have ammunition now and know what it takes to defeat it.
Take care............ emoticon

Oh, I only went as far North as Wausau today..........not nearly as far North as you are.......

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/13/2010 5:12AM

    I understand this 100% !!! Good that you're blogging about it, and if you need anything I'm here ! THX GIRL!

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SUMMERWINDS 10/12/2010 5:53PM

    This too shall pass! You had a little spark of humor at the end of your blog...see you're fighting off the blahs and already making jokes! They say that heavy exercise is excellent for depression. Get those endorphins surging and get into your self defense class:):):):) Great job on your A&P test, yeeeks I had that years ago and it was killer!

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ONLYTEMPORARY 10/12/2010 5:23PM

    Check out today's Spark article on Depression. It has folic acid as a contributor. I haven't read it all yet. It might help.

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CRISSYCURRY 10/12/2010 5:18PM

    I can relate. I have had issues with depression my entire life, even as a small child. I've been off and on anti-depressants since I was 18 years old but haven't taken anything since May 2008 and I don't want to. However, the depression and anxiety are really starting to get to me and I'm exhibiting more physical symptoms. :( I'm doing what I can to avoid taking them, though.

And you're doing awesome by sticking with the program, even when you don't want to!! Hang in there for there are brighter days ahead for both of us!! emoticon

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BABYYOUSAVEME 10/12/2010 4:48PM

    You kick that depression's BUTT! I hope you have fun in the Self-Defense classes, I used to take them too, I enjoyed them.

GREAT JOB on your Lab Test!!! Hang in there, I've had plenty of days like this, I know they can be tough, but we can get through them.

If you need anything or need to talk, Im always a click away.


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Cute as a button!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Hey everyone!

This weekend I went overboard with shopping so today I decided to be cute! Check it out! [Sorry it is kinda dark. emoticon)

Besides I promised SHERLYDS that I would post a picture.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSJULES01 10/12/2010 8:32PM

    Looking good.
Once and awhile you need to treat yourself to something great.

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SUMMERWINDS 10/11/2010 8:43PM

    You are adorable, nice outfit & sweet smile:)

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NAMSMOMMY 10/11/2010 3:25PM

    Totally cute!

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SHERYLDS 10/11/2010 12:47PM

    You look gorgeous my friend. emoticon
No wonder you getting more notices. ahem emoticon

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GRAMMIE1959 10/11/2010 12:02PM


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PATRICIAANN46 10/11/2010 10:50AM

  Like I said before: "ADORABLE!"

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MEADSBAY 10/11/2010 10:48AM

    Yes, indeedy!

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The STRONG push!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Lately, the final push to my final weight has been on my mind. (Hence, an explosion of blogs.) It really got me thinking about how I started this journey. Doubtful. Focused. Strong.

Doubtful that I was going to lose even the first few pounds.
Focused on doing eating right and exercising.
Gave a strong dedication in strength training three times a week.

I would like to end that way too.

I know right now I am have many questions about reaching my goal weight. Is it the right weight for me? Will I ever be happy with my body? Will I succeed? If I am a little doubtful (and scared) but do it anyways, that'd be just fine with me. In fact, I think it would help me grow as a person.. to do something that I am afraid/nervous about.

In the past week, I haven't been focused.. to my standards. I still eat right but I haven't been logging it. When I go over, even if it is a couple hundred, I get really bummed out. Also, I haven't been exercising as much. I have been doing more low key workouts like walking. Compare that to doing the elliptical.. and I have a huge amount of calories not being burned. emoticon I would like to get back to doing things right. This may not mean logging every calorie but more having good, solid workouts.

When I started losing weight, the first couple months, I lifted weighted religiously three times a week. I really want to get back to that. I saw it help with my weight loss and felt emoticon. It was invigorating.

Back in the day, I used the weight lifting machines. On Friday, I did a little bit of free weight training with a friend. I have strong ever since and love it! I actually feel like muscles was worked. We might try to do it again tonight after we get off work. I have been thinking of asking a couple guys I know to teach me how to use free weights. emoticon

In addition, I have noticed whenever I lifted weights and weighed in a couple days later, I would be down in weight. Pretty much that is the only time my weight has gone down this week. I knew muscle burns more calories but it is nice to see it. When I do get to my goal weight, I want to be toned. emoticon That is not going to happen overnight. I guess I am thinking of taking these last 25 pounds off while toning up. emoticon

That's the plan for the next 25 pounds...

To own being scared and a little doubtful.
To end focused.
To build some muscles!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 10/11/2010 8:18AM

    You are so smart to do this while you're young and your skin is in good shape and you don' waste your whole life feeling emoticon


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WOMANCHEF 10/11/2010 7:42AM

    emoticonYou can do it! We are all here for you.

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VICIOUS421 10/11/2010 4:23AM


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NAMSMOMMY 10/10/2010 9:23PM

    You go girl!! =) You can totally do it, and having a plan helps, A LOT!

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SHERYLDS 10/10/2010 8:11PM

    Just keep heading in the right direction. You can always decide what you want to do when you reach today's goal. Nothing is written in stone. Enjoy the journey and the reactions you're getting from new friends. You're doing great.

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ONCEUPONADREAM 10/10/2010 7:34PM

Sounds like you've really got your plan together. You can do this! That 25 pounds is going to be lost before you know it!

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