Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The last couple weeks have been fairly good. Life was good.. than.. BAM!
I wanted to cry.. for no apparent reason. Seriously, depression, you want to come out and play now? I was so frustrated. I thought I was over this.. guess not. Maybe I will cry.. just for sake that it is never going to go away. I hate if I do have two hours of exercise like everyday.. I am so irritable than I get depressed. Mind you, I am not sad. No that is not how it works. Nope. I am emotionless and empty. It is much worse than being sad. Being sad I can work with.
But today was a new day. Right? Not really. I have been pretty annoyed and crabby. I kinda want to hide away from the world, eat what I want, not care about exercise, forget everyone, just work on homework.. and be by myself. *sigh*
Well, I don't think I get that choice. Nope, I gotta be responsible and go to class. The positive? I am going to self defense.. and hopefully *crosses fingers* I can get my frustration and annoyance out. Man, I hope I don't get my partner that sucks the life out of that class. You know the one that thinks smiling takes work. Hello, girl, it is supposed to be fun.. than smile.. please? Or not.
At least by exercising I will be back to my normal self sooner or later. Also, I went to salon and that was nice. I did get a 88% on my A&P Lab Test.. yup, ladies and gentlemen, that is a high B. Woo-hoo!
Off to self defense I go.. maybe I will hurt someone. (Kidding!)
Monday, October 11, 2010
This weekend I went overboard with shopping so today I decided to be cute! Check it out! [Sorry it is kinda dark. )
Besides I promised SHERLYDS that I would post a picture.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Lately, the final push to my final weight has been on my mind. (Hence, an explosion of blogs.) It really got me thinking about how I started this journey. Doubtful. Focused. Strong.
Doubtful that I was going to lose even the first few pounds.
Focused on doing eating right and exercising.
Gave a strong dedication in strength training three times a week.
I would like to end that way too.
I know right now I am have many questions about reaching my goal weight. Is it the right weight for me? Will I ever be happy with my body? Will I succeed? If I am a little doubtful (and scared) but do it anyways, that'd be just fine with me. In fact, I think it would help me grow as a person.. to do something that I am afraid/nervous about.
In the past week, I haven't been focused.. to my standards. I still eat right but I haven't been logging it. When I go over, even if it is a couple hundred, I get really bummed out. Also, I haven't been exercising as much. I have been doing more low key workouts like walking. Compare that to doing the elliptical.. and I have a huge amount of calories not being burned. I would like to get back to doing things right. This may not mean logging every calorie but more having good, solid workouts.
When I started losing weight, the first couple months, I lifted weighted religiously three times a week. I really want to get back to that. I saw it help with my weight loss and felt . It was invigorating.
Back in the day, I used the weight lifting machines. On Friday, I did a little bit of free weight training with a friend. I have strong ever since and love it! I actually feel like muscles was worked. We might try to do it again tonight after we get off work. I have been thinking of asking a couple guys I know to teach me how to use free weights.
In addition, I have noticed whenever I lifted weights and weighed in a couple days later, I would be down in weight. Pretty much that is the only time my weight has gone down this week. I knew muscle burns more calories but it is nice to see it. When I do get to my goal weight, I want to be toned. That is not going to happen overnight. I guess I am thinking of taking these last 25 pounds off while toning up.
That's the plan for the next 25 pounds...
To own being scared and a little doubtful.
To end focused.
To build some muscles!
Saturday, October 09, 2010
That is the big question. How do I know the magic number for when I am done?
I know my body will tell me when it is done but I would like to have a number in mind in the meanwhile. Do I aim for 140 or 160? Or in between at 150?
Today, I figured out an estimate "magic" number according to BMI calculations. [Yes, I know BMI is just a guideline.] My magic number is between 110 and 150. If I settle at 160, my BMI would be at 26.7 in the overweight category. I don't want to be overweight.. I want to be healthy!
I just cannot imagine myself at 110. My college has something called a bod pod that is accurate when measuring your body fat. I have been thinking to ask if they could do one for me.
All of this got me thinking. Is it time for the FINAL push to lose the last 25#? I know I can do better than I have been. If I did make the final push, I could get within ten pounds of my goal weight (160) by New Years!
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