Friday, October 01, 2010
On Wednesday night I went to Perkins and ate and ate. The next day the scale told me I gained FIVE pounds to 191ish. Is that really possible to gain five pounds overnight? I am done to 190.. with my size 14 pants still fitting. Okay, they have stretched over the week I have been wearing them.
Also, I noticed I haven't been really working out either. It's like I don't care to work out on the ellitpical. On MWF, I have to get up by 7 am so I can beat the HHP class to the fitness room. IF they are in there, you can't be. I tend to oversleep until 8ish.
My friend has the P90 program and has offered to borrow it to me. I think I am going to try it. Basically, you are supposed to get "ripped" but just want to be toned. I have tried the 30 Day Shred and didn't care for it. Hopefully, I will like it.
Mainly, I need to mix things up. Even if I stick with it for a month.. I still mixed it up!
Here's the new game plan for October!
-Weigh in every 10 days and take measurements (October 1st, 10th, 20th, 30th)
-Start P90 TODAY and finish it
-Complete the Couch to 5K Program
-Continue with Zumba and Self Defense
Lastly, this has been in the news with different approaches. I really liked Ellen's message. Please listen.
There are bigger things than our issues. I need to remember this.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
A good day.
That is all I wanted today. For the past few days, my life has been filled with stress and just.. um.. not good days.
I did it! I had a good day. It is like I can breathe again!
This morning I woke up after sleeping in until 8ish. Took my first test and got a high B (two points from an A). Went to breakfast. My breakfast was around 500 calories. Yes! I didn't over eat. Than, I took Test 2 and I got a C. It is nothing to call home about but I was happy about it. I feel like I have a good idea how to arrange my time to study for all my classes.. a month later.. haha. Than, I went to lunch with Bobby. After that, I squeezed a run in before work.
For my run, I was going to do Day 1 of Week 6.. but pretty much as soon as I started , I had to go pee. For most of it, I settled by walking FAST! On the way back, I had to stop in the woods and go potty. Shh! It was that or pee my pants.. Than, I ran some more. I didn't do the C25K but I feel like I keep up my running training. I did the three miles in 40 minutes (3 minutes more than my last 5K). I thought that was interesting since I know I did more running for my 5K.
Tonight after I get off work at 7 pm, I am supposed to go rock climbing with a friend. I am not sure if I will. It makes me nervous and I can tell I am kinda tired. It would be nice to get back on track with my studies.
I feel liked I de-railed with life.. even with my weight loss. I went out to eat last night. I just let me eat whaever I wanted. Than, I made kinda a dumb mistake and.. um.. weighed myself. I gained FIVE pounds. Okay, I probably gained one or two.. but FIVE? I don't think so! Water retention alert! I am going to try to wait to weigh myself either Sunday or next Wednesday.
Anyhow, I just wanted to share that there is sunshine at the end of the !
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Has anyone noticed that I have been resembling a snarling grizzly bear lately?
I just wasn't sure exactly why. Sure, I didn't like that my friendship was fading away. Sure, I have three intense tests this week. Sure, I have a busy schedule. I have experienced all of things before. They have never made me crabby, mopey, and tearful. I was thinking maybe my depression was back.. crying for no reason was a sign of that.
Last night people would ask me what was wrong but I couldn't tell them. I think mainly because I didn't know and I didn't want to think about it.
I kinda figured it out when I was venting to a friend online.. and almost instantly I was in a better mood.
Basically, in the last few days, I have gone through the following:
I got lost.
Got in a bad mood because of friend lack of response.
Zumba sucked. I am not burning calories like I should be!
Felt uncoordinated in Zumba.
Felt uncoordinated in Self Defense.
Partnered with a girl that was not enthusiantic about class.
Same girl kinda made me feel like it was MY fault that we weren't doing the moves right. (It's a team effort!!!)
A friend leaning onto for support and kinda giving me her stress.
Oversleeping in the morning so no workouts like I want.
A hang over from drinking. (I didn't want to feel emotions.)
So, tomorrow is Thursday and am totally ready to have a GREAT day. Here is the plan!
Get up and eat breakfast for Test 1 at 9 am. Study for Test 2. Take Test 2 at 11 am. Work out all any emotion I have until I am exhausted. I am aiming for 60 minutes on the elliptical, and RUNNING! I figure by than.. endorphins should be racing. Than, homework.. until I work at 3. After work, hopefully, go rock climbing. I seriously need this so I can be this again.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Sometimes you don't want to care. Sometimes you don't want to feel. Sometimes you don't want to deal with problems. But you have to. I guess this is called being an adult.
I don't want to care that I have no meaningful relationships in my life. I don't want to care that everytime that I try to make a meaningful, lasting relationship, it falls apart or fades away a few months later.
I don't want to feel the hurt of being alone and having people that do not care. Oh, people say they care.. when I scream give me attention. But, on an everyday series, they don't. Or at least they don't show it. What is the point of caring if you don't show it?
I don't want to have problems. I don't want to have depression where if I don't constantly have solid friendships, my stress levels go up which increases my depression sessions. I don't want to have apraxia which gives me all kind of issues.. still. Like the last few days, I have felt so uncoordinated. In self defense, I felt my partner, someone else I usually don't have, blamed me for us messing up.
So, many things have sucked in the last few days.. so today.. I don't care about calories. I don't care about exercise. I don't want to care about it anymore. So, for one day I won't. I will just care about me and what I want.
Monday, September 27, 2010
This morning I got up excited to go on the nature trail. At one point of the trail, you can turn around which makes it 3 miles or you could take a left and it supposedly looped around. I was excited to see how it looped back.
This morning, I took a walk and got lost. Obviously, I found my way out if I am writing this. Here are some of my highlights in no specific order.
- Saw bear tracks
- Hiked on the Shooting Archery Range
- Talked to a city worker for direction in the middle of the woods
- Saw a police officer past me
- Decided I really should have mace or pepper spray when I walk/run
- Smelled burning tires (Eww!)
- Found out where the trails loops around
- Found a 5 mile nature trail for when I start training for 10Ks
- Listened to the trees whispering and the bullfrogs croaking
- Missed classes (I really was going to go.)
- Ran Day 1 of Week 6 of the C25K but quit in the middle of a steep hill.
- Did not once experience another walker or runner until the end
- Found my car again
- Did this all in two hours
After all this, I was still in a good mood until I asked my friend, you know the same one that is distancing himself from me, to lunch. While talking on the phone, I causally mentioned I got lost. And, nothing. No reaction! Wth! I was lost for TWO hours and he cannot even comment on it. Now, I don't know if I even want to have lunch with him.
Anyhow, this was how MY day started... hope your week started off awesome today. Zumba tonight!
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