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Once a change happened, you can't go back.

Monday, September 06, 2010

Sometimes I just need to get the hurt out so I blog. Today is one of those days.

So my friend, B, and I have been friends for awhile. This past summer he'd text me nearly every day. When he got back, our friendship wasn't the same. It was like my best friend was left at home. At first, I didn't notice it. But, than he didn't want to hang out with just me. And, he wasn't texting me anymore. Than, I noticed he wasn't sharing stuff with me. I mean like he'd share stuff with me that he'd share with a stranger but nothing deeper. I approached him about it. He said he's sorry.. says he will try to change it. Nothing else is said about it.

In the most recent time, we had plans which hasn't happened for a long time. Than, he tells me the night before he can't because his parents are coming up. I feel like I come last all the time.. like he knows I will always be there. I am not sure if I want to be there anymore. He wanted to go to a movie tonight after his parents leave but I am hanging out with a friend. Than, he wanted to have breakfast on Tuesday. I made excuses.

The thing is I am not sure if I want to hang out with him. I feel so hurt that I am always the last one and I am no longer important to him. I don't know what happened and I have no idea how to fix it. I don't want to lose my friendship. It like holding sand in your hand and just watching it slip away without being able to do a single thing about it.

Last night, we talked about it. He said that friendships change. I thought ours wouldn't. Maybe I was being naive. I emailed him last night how I felt about this whole parents thing. He said sorry and I do think he means it. I feel like I should forgive him. But, how many times do I forgive him?

I want it to go back to normal but I am not sure if it ever will. It is like something that is stretched.. once stretched, it doesn't go back to how it was. *sigh* I need to email him back but I have no idea what to say. That is how it is with him now. I don't know what to say to him anymore.

Thanks for listening..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOWFILLY 9/7/2010 8:36AM


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REVJVH 9/6/2010 1:04PM

    Sorry, darlin'. This is tough stuff. I think maybe you can only fight for things if the other person is willing on some level to be fought for.

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NAMSMOMMY 9/6/2010 12:54PM

    I think you gotta go with your heart on this one. Sometimes if you keep working at it, you can get some semblance of what was back, but it takes hard work. You have to ask yourself if he is the kid of friend that is worth keeping around. If he is, then its worth the effort. If not, use this as an opportunity to move on. Hugs!

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FIDGIEGIRL 9/6/2010 11:35AM


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I got out of bed to work out...

Friday, September 03, 2010

This mile stone deserves a blog...

I woke up early today.
Out of the bed by 7:30 am.
Out of the door by 8:30 am.
Had breakfast by 8:45 am.
Was working out by 8:55.
Ready for my 11 am class by 10 am.

I really hope I can keep it up this semester!

I guess it helps to know that I only had this morning to work out. I don't really have a solid amount of time to work out at another time! Hope everyone else is doing great today! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAMSMOMMY 9/4/2010 10:24PM

    You did awesome girl! The hardest part is sticking to that plan!

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CASSCAMP 9/3/2010 4:00PM

    Great job sav! you are always motivating me! TY!

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STEPHIEKNITS 9/3/2010 11:56AM

    I started a month ago getting up to workout. It makes my day so much easier, my energy kicks up and I am clear headed for the day! emoticon

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BAILEYS7OF9 9/3/2010 11:47AM

    I am so not a morning person either and once you just get up and get it done, you'll find yourself getting up the next day easier than the one before!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Question: Count calories or no counting calories?

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Guess who's back?! Me! Okay, I haven't really disappeared.. I am on logging my fitness.. not so much my calories. I finally feel like I have a moment or two to breathe.

In the last few weeks, I have been crazy busy with freshman orientation and training. Than, today I started classes and had an interview for a potential campus job. On top of that, I worked this afternoon (where I am right now).

Anyhow, I am back.. and with a question for you all to give me your opinion on. Yup, I would like some feedback.

This semester I put myself on the meal plan (for finanacial reasons). For the last few years, I haven't been on the meal plan and made food in the community kitchen. I figure I can handle this situation a few different ways but the question is..

Do I try to estimate the portions and guess the foods or not count calories at all?

In the last year or so, I have counted calories and lost 70#. I figure I can look at it two main ways.

If I count calories, it will keep me accountable even though it may not be 100% accurate so basically it's a tool.


If I decide not to count calories, I can try to use it as a time to practice when I get to the maintaining stage.

Either way, I know I do not want to count calories for my rest of my life. I think it is important to learn to eat when I am hungry and self control when I am in the cafeteria... both aspects I can apply to life after college.

Part of me is leaning towards the calorie counter even though I might find it frustrating at times. I am leaning that way because I was feeling dizzy earlier. I decided to put my calories in and see what I am at. Mind you, I already exercised and have been walking around campus like a mad woman.. and I wasn't even over 1200, if I remember correctly. emoticon So, I ate cupcakes.. not the best nutritional snack but better from passing out from not having enough calories. Also, counting calories is one way I can control me.. I guess.

So.. what are your thoughts? Calorie counter or not?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAILEYS7OF9 9/3/2010 11:58AM

    I would still count them and estimate the. Better to keep track than to not keep track.

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HEIDISO 9/3/2010 11:50AM

    If you don't want to count calories for the rest of your life, why don't you test it out now. If you feel you aren't maintaining then you can go back to counting.

I don't count calories on a regular basis anymore but I do "spot check" my daily calories from time to time. Meaning I will enter everything I eat into the nutritional tracker for a couple days to see if I'm staying in my range.

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    I think I may have confused some people. If I choose to still count, I do not exactly get to choose what is served in the cafeteria and it will still be an estimate of calories rather not knowing at all... and kinda hoping, lol.

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SNOWFILLY 9/3/2010 8:13AM

    Why change what is already working for you. emoticon

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HANNAHV 9/3/2010 5:54AM

    I think if you decide not to count then you will have to work out a meal plan before hand, say a week in advance. This is what I am trying to do, difficult but effective.

Good luck getting to goal emoticon

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    I am all about counting calories. It keeps you truly accountable for what you put into your body. Guestimating isn't always accurate. Good luck to you! emoticon

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SHERYLDS 9/2/2010 6:36PM

    if you've been successful counting the calories why change a winning strategy. even a guesstimate is helpful to keep you on track even if you're maintaining. you're doing great. keep it up emoticon

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Saturday, August 28, 2010

Sometimes I despise having great days.. because they make the rest of my days seem like a "bad" days. Today, I am bummed out.. and not really feeling excited about much. I know I should go for a walk.. but I don't really want to do that either. *sigh* I know I am just bummed out that it seems like a friend of mine is taking a step from me.. without talking to me about it.

Hope y'all day is better than mine.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSJULES01 8/30/2010 11:48AM

    Hey it is probably the hot weather doing it to you.
My best suggestion is to just stop and do some deep breathing exercises. It works for me when I am feeling a little out of it.

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NAMSMOMMY 8/29/2010 6:52PM

    Make yourself do something. Sometimes I find myself feeling alot better after I do something for me. :-)

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SNOWFILLY 8/29/2010 7:33AM

    Hope today is better. Did you talk to your friend?

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SHERYLDS 8/28/2010 3:08PM

Not sure I understand your comment. But it sounds like someone is moving on. if so ... all I can say is...
One door closes and another one opens. Just be ready.

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LOSETHEWTIN08 8/28/2010 3:06PM

    Sorry to read you are "bummed out" sometimes the best approach is the most direct. Call your friend be honest tell the friend what you feel in a non combative way. Sweetie talk to your friend. emoticon

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I love losing weight!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Some days I just love losing weight. Today was one of those days! Let's make a small list of today's positive moments related to weight loss.

-My new work shirt is a size medium!!! emoticon

-A new friend asked how I lost the weight... and totally asked me for the link! I didn't have to offer.. emoticon

-I felt in control when we went to Old Country Buffet as part of our training. emoticon

-I did not overeat at OCB. In fact, I am hungry again right now. That is how I know if I ate like I am supposed to when I haven't been tracking.

-I could tell people at OCB was looking at me in envy (or it seems like it). All I wanted to do was to stop and tell them how they can do it too.. seriously, sparkpeople makes it so easy. I guess when you have the support, the rest is easy. emoticon

-After I had 3 intense days of training, I had TONS of energy left tonight at 7:30 pm while everyone else was dragging. I was seriously bouncing off the walls! It was an awesome feeling. Talk about being high on life!

-And, one more from yesterday. I tried to rock climb. I didn't go up that far.. but I tried it. I am afraid of falling of any type (one of the reasons I haven't learned how to ride a bike) but I did it. I can totally feel it in my forearms and armpits and legs - more than I ever have with weight lifting. My friend works at the rock wall so I think I am going to try it instead of weight lifting.. it is not like I have been doing weight lifting anyhow! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOWFILLY 8/28/2010 8:02AM

    Way to go!! You are awesome! Size Medium, Rock wall climbing? There is just no stopping you now!!! You GO GIRL!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHERYLDS 8/28/2010 3:14AM

    You're amazing. Size medium...WOW! Congratulations. I bet that feels great. And rock climbing. Exciting. Have fun.

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TAMNTN 8/28/2010 12:15AM

    Way to go!!!! Keep it can do it! Keep on Sparking! :)

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CBARRETT10 8/28/2010 12:09AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DWILCZKO 8/28/2010 12:08AM

  i love losing weight 2!

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MRSABG 8/28/2010 12:04AM


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