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THECRAZYMANGO's Recent Blog Entries

Random Updates: On past blogs!

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Okay, yesterday I blogged about feeling fat. I gotta tell you that it is hard to keep feeling fat when you purposely look nice and than everyone keeps giving you compliments at how much weight I have lost. You'd think I just lost the 70# yesterday.. but that is not really how that works, lol.

Talk about losing weight, I am pretty excited that I went from a 38B to a 36B so I was able to buy new bras! I know alot of people get upset about their cup size go down but I try not to. I try to think of it as my body preparing for the rest of my body to lose weight. If my cup size does not go down but the rest of my body does, I would be so out of proportion it wouldn't be funny. I would be like Pamela Anderson or worse.. I do not, I repeat, I do NOT want those back problems. Besides, I want men to value the same package (my personality, my brain, my rocking body) than my chest.

Moving on, I started the C25K again.. it seems I start than quit.. than start than quit. I guess it doesn't matter as long as I eventually complete it. So why did I motivated to start again? Well, three things actually.

First, at the end of September I am supposed to run a 5K completely with a friend.. and I really don't want to let him (and me) down. I am only on week 3 so I need to get some solid work in before that race.

Secondly, I am on the C25K team and a thread started yesterday about starting on 9/7. It was agreed I could join them but I would just start up again at week 3. I have found that it helps to know that I am in it with someone. Like today I knew I had to do it because I already said on the thread I would. I didn't want to go back on my word.

Lastly, my sister had a conversation with my aunt that kinda upset me. My aunt is doing a HM or Marathon (not sure which) and my sister mentioned that my aunt should ask me. My aunt asked if I would be able to keep with the training regiment. This really rubbed me the wrong way for a few reasons. But, basically, it comes down to tell people that I RUN 5Ks or when I start training for MY marathon.

On a side note, in the past I mentioned that I was nervous about the meal plan. I think I have been doing alright with counting my calories while at the cafeteria. There is alot of guessing.. and hoping.. that I am picking the right things. Today, I find like I had a victory. I put my calories in for today - supper not in yet - and I was under 1200. That was right on track. I feel with some effort I can do this! It will take some trial and error.. like much of this journey.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAMSMOMMY 9/8/2010 6:34PM

    are you saying that you are eating less than 1200 calories a day? Cause I don't think that is enough. As for the training comment, maybe she didn't mean it in the way it came out? Training for a half marathon is hard-core! I have a friend who is running 11-13 miles at a time! Maybe someday, but I can't even imagine doing that now, I am just at week 8 of c25k. You can do the 5k if you stick to it! Be careful of injury!

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CASSCAMP 9/8/2010 6:19PM

    As you have stopped and started your training for c25k. I have stopped and started sp. I am here now and totally into this. I don't want to go back. I am currently on week 6 of the c25k program. And even if i let myself miss a day i make sure i fit it all in within that week. Just keep with it girl you have already showed us how committed you can be when you set your mind to something! Look at all the weight you have lost. Just don't give up just cause you miss a day or training (there is always tomorrow!).

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SHERYLDS 9/8/2010 6:16PM

    As per the conversation with your Aunt...maybe she meant your schedule...seeing as you are working and studying?
Sometimes we are so wired for expecting the other shoe to drop we assume the conversation is directed to mean something it's not. She's probably looking for a buddy to keep herself motivated.

Comment edited on: 9/8/2010 6:17:52 PM

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I feel fat! :(

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

For the past few weeks, I have been feeling fat. Don't get me wrong.. I still work out and eat right.. and AM going down in weight.. which is AWESOME. I kinda think it is part of habit.. But, part of me, still feels fat when I look in the mirror. Maybe it is that I still see the 260# girl.. not the 188.4# woman. I dunno..

Hope you all are feeling better than I am!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOWFILLY 9/8/2010 7:16AM


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VICIOUS421 9/8/2010 5:51AM


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SHERYLDS 9/7/2010 8:15PM

    It takes a while for the mental image to get adjusted but you are looking better and better all the time. Use the feeling to keep going. You're doing great.

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CASSCAMP 9/7/2010 5:39PM

    SOmetimes i think it sucks cause right now i want to be 150 - 160, but when i was those weights i felt fat too. But when i look at those pictures now when i am 220 i would give anything to be there.... You r are looking great. Somedays are hard. But you will get through them. Love you sav!

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SSCHULTZ59 9/7/2010 5:01PM

    i have always felt fat.. but now that i am loosing slowly, i let the change in my clothes make it better..
you are awesome.. it is hard to learn to love the new you with no strings.. but keep it at .. you will get there.

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STARGLADE 9/7/2010 4:54PM

    I SO relate to this! I know I'm at goal, I see the numbers on the tags in my closet and dresser drawers, but there are still times . . . you know. My mental image hasn't yet caught up with who's looking back at me from the mirror.

We'll get there. It takes time for all those years of seeing "the fat girl" to fade.

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SKYWATCHERRS 9/7/2010 4:51PM

    I can totally relate. I've been maintaining my healthy weight for over a year now and I still have days where I feel fat, back at my 200+ weight. I read an article that stated the mental change is the last and hardest to accomplish, and the feeling of being fat can linger 2 years after you've lost the weight.

I think it's because we still focus on our flaws instead of our good points and because we never see ourselves the way others see us.

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DISMOM3 9/7/2010 4:40PM

    So reassuring to read that other people feel that way too!! I know I weigh less, I know I'm in smaller clothes, and still don't "see" it in the mirror.

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Once a change happened, you can't go back.

Monday, September 06, 2010

Sometimes I just need to get the hurt out so I blog. Today is one of those days.

So my friend, B, and I have been friends for awhile. This past summer he'd text me nearly every day. When he got back, our friendship wasn't the same. It was like my best friend was left at home. At first, I didn't notice it. But, than he didn't want to hang out with just me. And, he wasn't texting me anymore. Than, I noticed he wasn't sharing stuff with me. I mean like he'd share stuff with me that he'd share with a stranger but nothing deeper. I approached him about it. He said he's sorry.. says he will try to change it. Nothing else is said about it.

In the most recent time, we had plans which hasn't happened for a long time. Than, he tells me the night before he can't because his parents are coming up. I feel like I come last all the time.. like he knows I will always be there. I am not sure if I want to be there anymore. He wanted to go to a movie tonight after his parents leave but I am hanging out with a friend. Than, he wanted to have breakfast on Tuesday. I made excuses.

The thing is I am not sure if I want to hang out with him. I feel so hurt that I am always the last one and I am no longer important to him. I don't know what happened and I have no idea how to fix it. I don't want to lose my friendship. It like holding sand in your hand and just watching it slip away without being able to do a single thing about it.

Last night, we talked about it. He said that friendships change. I thought ours wouldn't. Maybe I was being naive. I emailed him last night how I felt about this whole parents thing. He said sorry and I do think he means it. I feel like I should forgive him. But, how many times do I forgive him?

I want it to go back to normal but I am not sure if it ever will. It is like something that is stretched.. once stretched, it doesn't go back to how it was. *sigh* I need to email him back but I have no idea what to say. That is how it is with him now. I don't know what to say to him anymore.

Thanks for listening..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOWFILLY 9/7/2010 8:36AM


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REVJVH 9/6/2010 1:04PM

    Sorry, darlin'. This is tough stuff. I think maybe you can only fight for things if the other person is willing on some level to be fought for.

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NAMSMOMMY 9/6/2010 12:54PM

    I think you gotta go with your heart on this one. Sometimes if you keep working at it, you can get some semblance of what was back, but it takes hard work. You have to ask yourself if he is the kid of friend that is worth keeping around. If he is, then its worth the effort. If not, use this as an opportunity to move on. Hugs!

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FIDGIEGIRL 9/6/2010 11:35AM


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I got out of bed to work out...

Friday, September 03, 2010

This mile stone deserves a blog...

I woke up early today.
Out of the bed by 7:30 am.
Out of the door by 8:30 am.
Had breakfast by 8:45 am.
Was working out by 8:55.
Ready for my 11 am class by 10 am.

I really hope I can keep it up this semester!

I guess it helps to know that I only had this morning to work out. I don't really have a solid amount of time to work out at another time! Hope everyone else is doing great today! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAMSMOMMY 9/4/2010 10:24PM

    You did awesome girl! The hardest part is sticking to that plan!

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CASSCAMP 9/3/2010 4:00PM

    Great job sav! you are always motivating me! TY!

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STEPHIEKNITS 9/3/2010 11:56AM

    I started a month ago getting up to workout. It makes my day so much easier, my energy kicks up and I am clear headed for the day! emoticon

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BAILEYS7OF9 9/3/2010 11:47AM

    I am so not a morning person either and once you just get up and get it done, you'll find yourself getting up the next day easier than the one before!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Question: Count calories or no counting calories?

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Guess who's back?! Me! Okay, I haven't really disappeared.. I am on logging my fitness.. not so much my calories. I finally feel like I have a moment or two to breathe.

In the last few weeks, I have been crazy busy with freshman orientation and training. Than, today I started classes and had an interview for a potential campus job. On top of that, I worked this afternoon (where I am right now).

Anyhow, I am back.. and with a question for you all to give me your opinion on. Yup, I would like some feedback.

This semester I put myself on the meal plan (for finanacial reasons). For the last few years, I haven't been on the meal plan and made food in the community kitchen. I figure I can handle this situation a few different ways but the question is..

Do I try to estimate the portions and guess the foods or not count calories at all?

In the last year or so, I have counted calories and lost 70#. I figure I can look at it two main ways.

If I count calories, it will keep me accountable even though it may not be 100% accurate so basically it's a tool.


If I decide not to count calories, I can try to use it as a time to practice when I get to the maintaining stage.

Either way, I know I do not want to count calories for my rest of my life. I think it is important to learn to eat when I am hungry and self control when I am in the cafeteria... both aspects I can apply to life after college.

Part of me is leaning towards the calorie counter even though I might find it frustrating at times. I am leaning that way because I was feeling dizzy earlier. I decided to put my calories in and see what I am at. Mind you, I already exercised and have been walking around campus like a mad woman.. and I wasn't even over 1200, if I remember correctly. emoticon So, I ate cupcakes.. not the best nutritional snack but better from passing out from not having enough calories. Also, counting calories is one way I can control me.. I guess.

So.. what are your thoughts? Calorie counter or not?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAILEYS7OF9 9/3/2010 11:58AM

    I would still count them and estimate the. Better to keep track than to not keep track.

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HEIDISO 9/3/2010 11:50AM

    If you don't want to count calories for the rest of your life, why don't you test it out now. If you feel you aren't maintaining then you can go back to counting.

I don't count calories on a regular basis anymore but I do "spot check" my daily calories from time to time. Meaning I will enter everything I eat into the nutritional tracker for a couple days to see if I'm staying in my range.

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    I think I may have confused some people. If I choose to still count, I do not exactly get to choose what is served in the cafeteria and it will still be an estimate of calories rather not knowing at all... and kinda hoping, lol.

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SNOWFILLY 9/3/2010 8:13AM

    Why change what is already working for you. emoticon

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HANNAHV 9/3/2010 5:54AM

    I think if you decide not to count then you will have to work out a meal plan before hand, say a week in advance. This is what I am trying to do, difficult but effective.

Good luck getting to goal emoticon

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    I am all about counting calories. It keeps you truly accountable for what you put into your body. Guestimating isn't always accurate. Good luck to you! emoticon

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SHERYLDS 9/2/2010 6:36PM

    if you've been successful counting the calories why change a winning strategy. even a guesstimate is helpful to keep you on track even if you're maintaining. you're doing great. keep it up emoticon

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