Thursday, September 10, 2009
Things are changing.. for the better.
For the last few years I have felt bad about my body. Where I look in the mirror and I thought I looked gross. The last time I felt gross was when I was laying in bed and felt like a body of fat jello. This was not fun. Since that moment I have taken small steps forward to a new me. Just as in walking a mile, you cannot be fit over night. At the beginning of the summer, I weight 260. As I look back on me, I look like someone blew me up with air. Not even kidding! Fast forward to today, I think I weigh 235ish. Yup, I have lost near 25 lbs. About half the weight I really want to lose. I would have thought it would be so empowering to lose weigh but it is. It is like if I can do this - I can do anyhting! I seem to have more confidence. Today, I decided to wear something cute rather than the bagging t-shirts I have. Well, what kinda made my day was how a guy looked me up and down. And a cute guy. It was one of the nicest compliments.. haha! He wasn't sleazy and did not do it in a sleazy way. Maybe he looked down and up because I walking and my shoes are noisy. Who know - who cares. The important thing is that it made me feel really good.
Besides that, I have noticed that I like walking and running. When I am walking, I will break out in a run. I think that is the most fun to do. Just randomly run. When I do stop running I am like why didn't I keep going. Currently, I can run a whole 1/4 of a mile WITHOUT stopping. For me, that is pretty amazing. Also, I seem to eat healthier.. and so many other things.
I am not sure if it is part of my weight loss or what but I am excited for classes this semester. I have great classes, a nice bf, and things seem to be going in the right direction! I lvoe it and wanted to share some of my excitement! Hope you have a kick-ass day!
Saturday, September 05, 2009
As most of you know as you were there every step of the way is that I lost 22 lbs over the summer. I did this by changing my eating and activity habits. I was very focused during the entire summer - counting every calorie I ate and burned. Some even said I was too concerned about it. I was that focused.
Well, at the end of the summer, I kinda just quit. This was totally unintentional. Mind you I did not quit doing the things I learned over the summer such as eating correctly or working out during the day. I quit logging it on SP. I am not sure why. I just did. Maybe I did because I felt that I became a calorie calculator and know about how many calories I should have a meal. I mean isn't that is why we are all on here. To change our habits and our lifestyle. In another words, you can say I took off my training wheels off. I am still on here and check this daily. I just do not need it to count calories anymore. If I am over a hundred calories, is it really that big of a deal?
I think the bigger deal is when I do not work out. That affects me a whole alot more. This week I started classes and my schedule was crazy!! I did not work out as much as I would like. As my schedule settles, I hope to walk to school daily (5 blocks), and lift twice a week. In addition to this, I am in an aerobics class which I think will help me continue to lose weight. Besides that, if I felt that I want to "work out", my college has numerous like five or six group classes that I could take advantage of or even the great swimming pool.
I guess my point is that I know many of you are worried about me. I just wanted to convey that I think I am doing okay. Yes, I am not as focused as I was in the summer. Seriously, I was working out 2 hrs a day. Now that is crazy! I just wanted to let you all know that I think it is time for the training wheels to come off and for me to try to start riding forward without them. I know I will stumble as many do. When I do that, I think the most important thing for me to do is get back on the bike or rather the weight loss wagon. If I feel I need the training wheels, I know where they are. Now keep in mind I am not quitting and I am still on here. I just am choosing not to "track" my calories and my workouts here.
I hope this all makes sense.. if you have any questions about my reasoning.. I would love to hear them!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
In one of my past attempts to lose weight, I joined curves. At the time period of my life that I was working out at Curves, I was also getting counseling for depression. I remember my counselor telling me to consider it "me time". I tried but it just did not stick.
Well, when I started this last weight loss journey, I have changed a bit. One of things that have changed for me is that working out is a vice for me. Working out is a vice for me in three ways.
First, it helps relieve some of my depression symptoms like anxiety which I just love. I think that is why I love starting my day with a morning walk. ;)
Secondly, working out is a great stress reliever. That is actually why I call it "working out" and not "exercising". Working out for me meaning that I am working out my frustrations for the day. It is probably a good habit to form since my field that I hope to go into, Social Work, is considered to be highly stressful and has a high burnout rate. The sooner I learn how to handle and manage stress, the better! Also, exercise just gives me a bad feeling. I guess I have connected "bad" feelings and some events of my life with it.
Lastly, working out is becoming my "me time" as I mentioned before. In my life, I have a lot on my plate as many people do. For me, it consists of friends, family, work and school and sometimes I put myself last and everyone first. Working out has become a part of the day where all I think about is me. In fact, if I am on a walk, I will not answer my phone or text because it is Savannah's time.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Okay, so I have decided I am very frustrated and annoyed with people - especially the ones that think they know EVERYTHING about weight loss but have not lost a single pound themselves. If they know everything, why are they not applying it to themselves! Seriously! Since I have told people I have lost weight, they feel it is okay to tell me how to do it. I know how to do it! Eating right and exercise! In fact, the whole nation does too - we just don't do that. (Mind you if you are using a different strategy to lose weight, that is okay too. I just know this is working for me. Also, I am working on a lifestyle change here.. ;) ) In past times that I have lost weight it always discouraged me or got me off track when people told me how I should do it. For example, that I should not eat dessert or I should exercise. Hello people, this is my choice. If I want to eat a whole damn pie I will. Obviously, that would not be a good weight loss choice for me but it is really none of their damn business. I am doing to this for me and me only. Not them. Also, I obviously know somewhat what I am doing since I lost 17 lbs.. that is a considerable amount you just wake up and be like I think I will lose 17 lbs today. No, it takes every day decisions. Yes, I haven't lost weight for a couple weeks - I think I might be on a plateau - but still I know what to do. In fact, I think I even know what I need to do to get off this plateau - change it up. Variety is the spice of life, right? On a side note, I do not mind if I get advice from individuals who DO know what they are doing and have lost weight. Also, I cannot wait until I am an expert and I can advise these people, the ones that telling me how to do it, how I did it and how they can do it for themselves. Okay, I think I ran out of steam about this but it is so damn frustrating when everyone is trying to give you advice and you just want to tell them to shut up. In fact, today someone told me that basically there is no such thing as "in moderation" in terms of cheesecake. Well, if I never have cheesecake I will fail!! Okay, truly I am done!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
At the beginning of this weight loss journey I was very focused and dedicated to my goals. In the last couple weeks, I think I have lost some or all of my focus and even a bit of my dedication.
After reflecting on what exactly the problem could be.. I think it may be this..
In the last few weeks, I have been eating out more and even been allowing myself to have dessert. This would be okay normally but I ate out alot in the last couple weeks. This ranges from Dairy Queen, Perkins, Grizzlys and Old Chicagos. All wonderful places to eat but they should be "treats", not the "norm". I think that is actually how I put some weight on - by eating at these places regularly. Regularly means 2 or 3x a week. In fact, I eat so much there that they know me by my name. That can be good and bad. I think I need to be a stranger again at these restaurants. We all know eating in moderation is key and the thing is, by eating out so often, I am not eating in moderation. Today I stepped on the scale. I weighed 245. Grr..at first I thought. But as I worked out on the elliptical, it made sense, I ate numerous times this week. I need to cut down on eating out for both my diet and my check book.
I knew last week I needed to change my routine but yet I did not. I was going to start running on the first of the month yet today is the 15th. The goal was to run 1 mile by the end of the summer. I have never ran a mile before. Usually, I am all over changing it up. It is fun - why not anymore? Hmm.. I think maybe another reason my body is hanging onto the weight is because I am not challenging it. It is getting used to the 2, 3, 4, 5 mile walks. It needs something new. When school starts again I think I am going to try swimming, jogging the track, Group X classes, maybe some weight loss competitions.. but I cannot right now because that is closed. I really like jogging on the street but there are two main problems with that. It is hard to be consistent with distance. For example, how can I run 100 meters if I do know what it looks like? Hmm.. The other problem is running on the sidewalks which is concrete is very hard on your joints for anyone. Now add that I am like 60 lbs overweight. That just cannot be good for them. I could try biking - oh, wait, I do not know how to. Haha. You see I think I need to find a new routine I like because than I make it a must to do during the day.. and that is what it needs to be!
Also, another problem is that I have a bad feeling that I am working out more than I eat so it makes my body go into starvation mode. But if I increase my activity minutes I am afraid I am setting myself for failure increase I decide I do not want to do that much that day. For example, today I will have exercised for two hours - not all at the same time mind you. My SP activity minutes says 60 minutes..
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