THECRAZYMANGO   31,649
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Meant for BIG things (Not WL related)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

More and more, I come to the realization I do not belong here at this college or even in this town.

I have two years left at UWS.. and I don't fit here. Like this place is too small.. the people are too immature.. what do you do when you realized you have outgrown everything here? Do I transfer to yet another college? I have switched majors four times at this college and switched colleges three times. Right now, I just want to be done and be.. well.. an adult.

I am 24 years old. I want the simple things in life. A career. A family. A home. Even a dog. I have none of these things here.

I know I really only have to be here for a year.. because the year after I will be studying at another campus through the National Student Exchange.. but can I survive another year here?

What do you do when you were meant to do BIG things but are stuck in a small place with small minds? Right now, it is like I tolerate all of this. I don't care about the people anymore.. everyone either graduates or transfers.

I am a great person meant for BIG things.. but alone. *sigh*

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REVJVH 7/22/2010 1:24PM

    What's your passion? I'm willing to bet that if you identify something you're passionate about and want to be involved in, you will find someone or a group in Superior or Duluth that's engaged in it. I have a cousin who has lived in Duluth her whole life (well over 80 years) and has been a passionate and committed advocate for others her whole life. She is brilliant and has a wide-ranging, inclusive worldview. She has managed to find a community right there that provides her with ways to thrive there. I bet you can, too.

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JUSTBIRDY 7/21/2010 3:36AM

    emoticon If it were me, I would just hold my nose and finish it. You're probably at that stage where any school would seem stifling, and transferring usually means even more time spent to play catch-up.

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Tried something new.. didn't go so hot!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Today I tried to make salsa.. and well, it was an epic failure. Okay, maybe not epic.. it tastes fine, just HOT! The consistency is the part that needs to be improved on. I am really sad that I couldn't eat it for lunch, and that I potentially wasted a bunch of money and time. I cannot afford to waste either time nor money.. Oh, well! I tried something new.

I guess the people from NW WI should consider this a warning emoticon as I am trying to make cupcakes for the first time with Greek yogurt and bringing it to the rally on Saturday!
emoticon

On bright side of things, I gave plasma and now have $20! By the end of the week, I should have another $35 totaling to $55! It should be enough money to fill up my gas tank and cover my fee for running a 5K. Also, tomorrow my car is getting detailed for the first time! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ONLYTEMPORARY 7/20/2010 5:25PM

    I hope you haven't tossed it. You can put it in a pan with a piece of meat. While the meat cooks, the salsa flavors it. It tastes delicious.

You can do the same with bottled salad dressings you discover you don't care for. That way there is no waste. emoticon

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SHERYLDS 7/20/2010 4:49PM

    Suggestion. When it comes to spices, less is more. Just like salt. You can always add a little more, but it's tough to take out. But I'm proud of you for trying a new thing. That's always a win. Bet the cupcakes come out awesome. hugs

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J40IN7 7/20/2010 3:38PM

    emoticon

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Green Skies..

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

This morning when I wrote up.. I checked my email and there was an email about the severe weather warning and that we should take shelter immediately. Okay, let me ask you something.. who sends an EMAIL! I understand the town doesn't have sirens (yup, even in this age of time!) and they have to have teams.. but still! An email! What about a phone call? Wouldn't that be faster?

So, I figured it was no big deal if they were sending an email out. I went and took a shower. When I came back, I looked out my window and saw green skies... um, should I be concerned? When growing up, tornados in the summer were a regular thing.. so what do I do? Get ready for the day... I do not go to the basement.. but precede with my day!

It seems to be calming now.. which is kinda freaking me out because I know it calms before a tornado. I am hoping it will be just getting over with and not building up.

I think it is a safe to say.. I won't be start the C25K this morning!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSHINEART 7/15/2010 5:27PM

    Hope things are still staying calm in your neck of the woods

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JENDOOD 7/15/2010 2:44AM

    I might be wrong... but isn't there a siren on Barker's Island...? I'm not even sure - IF it is still there - IF it works!! :)

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MSJULES01 7/14/2010 9:03PM

    I hope you didn't end up with any storm damage.

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SHERYLDS 7/14/2010 11:40AM

    I worked with a guy who sent out an email to everyone to tell people he was having a heart attack. His cubicle was right by a main cross section where everyone passed by every few seconds. If he fell out of his chair, he would have been in the aisle. Most people who read the email, thought it was a joke. Who would send out an SOS on email when they're 6 feet from several other people. He contacted Microsoft. The story made the newspapers.

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HEIDISO 7/14/2010 11:19AM

    It is dark here but no severe storms yet.... but whatever you get we normally get 1/2 hour to an hour later. Thanks for the heads up. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CJSARGENT1 7/14/2010 11:10AM

    I think we should all proceed with our lives and watch the warning signs.

Have a great day.

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JAZZMINE 7/14/2010 11:08AM

    Wow! We had alot of rain the past two days, but nothing severe!

emoticon

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Unanswered Prayers

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Tonight I was reminiscing with an old flame.. that well, didn't become a flame. While chatting with me, he said, "You were always cool and probably still am."

While laying in bed (yes, I was already in bed but came back to write this), I realized I am cool.. and proud of who I am today (I think that's a country song). I find it pretty awesome that at the end of the day (or 12:12 am), even with life mistakes, and disappointments, that I can say I am an alright person. Yes, I have done some things I haven't been proud of.. but, I am proud of ME! It feels pretty good.

Something else my old flame mentioned was how I moved away and now we never will know.. like if I stayed.. would we have stayed friends or grew apart? I think we would have grew apart.

For years, I kinda regretted I never made a move on him.. but I think deep down I knew my mom saw what I did not when she told me to not ruin the friendship. The thing is.. if I stayed in that small town, I would have hated it and probably grew to hate him. I'm sure you all have heard stories like that.

Beyond that, I would have missed out on so much.. without even knowing it.

Here are some things...
-Being a Realtor
-Having a closer relationship with my parents (I live like a hour away)
-Having true friends that have touched my lives even through I don't talk to them anymore
-Having depression (Yes, I consider it a blessing. There are SO much I have learned about me.)
-Attending the college I do
-Changing my major to Exercise Science (Who knows where that will lead me to discovery)
-Joining Sparkpeople (now that is just plain unlimited)

If I made the one single decision to stay in an area that I was suffocating in, all of this could have never happened and made me a person I truly like. It is better to have one regret, to never know, than to have many regrets.

God works in special ways.. and I think he lead me on this path to show me that I can do great things with my life. Even now I feel like I am starting to out grow this area.. and that I am meant to do even bigger things.

Lastly, tonight reminds me of the song "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks
video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-21
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICTORIA12U 7/15/2010 5:58PM

    Good call...We should always be careful what we wish for!

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SUNSHINEART 7/15/2010 5:29PM

    You can do anything you set your mind to. You go girl

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HEIDISO 7/14/2010 10:31AM

    Very nice

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JANEYINMADTOWN 7/14/2010 6:53AM

    Thank you for this blog..it's opened my eyes in many ways...

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SCOOTER4263 7/14/2010 5:28AM

    You're a wise young woman, and a special one.

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JUSTBIRDY 7/14/2010 2:27AM

    thank you! emoticon

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ANVIBEXTOR 7/14/2010 1:35AM

    So inspiring, thanks!

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A Day for Disappointments!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Today it seems is day for disappointments.

emoticon Weighed myself today.. and didn't lose.

I was feeling pretty good, as I have been exercising, eating right and I didn't weight myself yesterday. That is a milestone in it's self.

BUT.. I did lift.. so I am probably retaining water.

emoticon In an attempt to turn my day around, I decided to time my mile run. I usually do it on Sunday but with the run on Saturday, I figured to wait. It turned out that I did it in 13:00, add approximately 30 seconds from the last time I ran.

BUT.. there was wind this time, and my legs were probably a bit tired from the elliptical yesterday. Last time, I did walk some but this time, I ran the whole thing.

Anyhow, in an essence I am disappointed in myself.. and to be honest, it is a bummer!

emoticonSo.. what am I going to do?

-Scratch the 100 second challenge
-Start weighing myself every 10 days again. (I want off this emotional roller coaster.)
-Try to run 3x a week - aiming for longer distances - and perhaps I will be able to improve my time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCOOTER4263 7/13/2010 7:47PM

    Don't be so quick to beat up on yourself - there are many reasons for weight to be unstable in the summer. Humidity makes me retain water like nobody's business (and I'm, in theory anyway, beyond the reach of fluctuating hormones.) As you said, lifting can make you retain because of the minute swelling that occurs when you make teensy tears in muscles. All sorts of reasons.

Something to consider is to abandon weighing in the summer and go for measuring instead. Jeans looser? Then who cares what the Evil Scale says!

You're doing wonderfully! Rejoice in all your progress and hang tough until things sort themselves out again.

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SUGARSMOM2 7/13/2010 6:46PM

  emoticon

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SHERYLDS 7/13/2010 5:00PM

    With all the positive things you are doing for yourself, you should not feel bummed out. There are any number of reasons why you may not be seeing the progress on the scale. but with all the positive fitness steps you're taking and watching what you're eating it will happen soon enough. And have you been measuring yourself? That's another big measure of success. You're fitness plan is becoming more and more your regime. Isn't that a Great Change. hugs

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SOUTHIE2010 7/13/2010 3:57PM

    Okay honestly I was jumping up and down that you didn't weigh yourself yesterday!!! That in and of itself is a major achievement!

I think it is a great plan to weigh yourself every 10 days! Or you can get on my Wednesday schedule and we can keep each other off the scale! I was so tempted earlier in the week, but I remember telling you that I was going to wait until Wednesday. So much of me not weighing myself was remembering that I had posted I was going to wait until Wednesday! Its a lot easier to have will power when you have posted a goal!

I totally agree with the advice on the Couch to 5k program. I know you aren't crazy about the intervals, but the feeling of success when you move onto another week is AMAZING! It is a small success you can give yourself every week.

The second half of the program doesn't really have any intervals - much to my chagrine. . . I love those darn intervals! I haven't looked ahead but I think today maybe my last day with them. . .

We all have good days and bad days, but I think it is great you are stepping back and reevaluating so that you get yourself out of that cycle. If something isn't working for you, i.e. weighing yourself everyday, then there are tons of other things you can do to keep yourself on track!

We are in this together! Close to 3 weeks left in the month to get the heck out of the 190s!!!

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CUATROMOMMY 7/13/2010 3:54PM

    Tomorrow is going to be a day of accomplishments for you. I just know it.

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BAILEYS7OF9 7/13/2010 3:27PM

    well you need to turn around your attitude missy!

so you didn't lose, but most importantly you did not gain!

seriously.. STOP being a pessimist. Look for some good, it's somewhere, honestly!

as for your runs, are you doing a program? I find they really help. Don't worry about your time! Spark Coach Nancy and many others state that in the beginning you are teaching your body to run. That can be for the first YEAR. Never go for time. Just go for completion. After a while, you will be able to run further and eventually you will become faster, it is a natural progression.

I am doing the couch 2 5K in 9 wks from www.coolrunning.com

Now.. emoticon with the pity party and go emoticonsome butt!

Comment edited on: 7/13/2010 3:27:48 PM

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