Sunday, March 07, 2010
Okay, tonight I was laying in bed thinking about my weight loss among other things and identified I lose more pounds when not in challenges.. and I was really asking myself why. Than it came to me.. (this is my epiphany!!!)
I am motivated intrinsically, and not extrinsically. I probably lost most of you there unless you are a psychology major, as I am, so let me explain. Currently, we are learning in my Motivation and Emotion Psychology class that there are two types of motivation which I mentioned above. Intrinsically is when you are motivated from within such as when you are happy to do it. Extrinsically is when you are motivated to do it by external factors such as money or someone telling you to do it!
THIS is why I cannot lose weight in the challenges/contests. I always I thought it was mental - and it is. I just didn't realize it was my motivation part. I was trying to be extrinsically motivated by money or my coach when I am intrinsically motivated such as buying smaller clothes..
Besides understanding why I cannot lose weight in challenges, I am also very excited to realize I learned something in class, and applied it. This shows I do fully understand the concepts! How amazing is that! Seriously, I am SOOO excited.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Okay, time to vent. I know this is something little but it still bothers me.
A guy that weighs in the 350s/400s I know at college told me I should go work out when I mentioned I have not worked out. Seriously?! You are telling ME? Seriously?!
Okay, I know I am no model but seriously I have lost nearly 50# and dang proud. You cannot exactly do that overnight. It has taken 9 months of hard work and dedication..of repeatly telling myself NO, NO, NO...than this guy comes along and tells me I need to work out.
Mind you, another guy, who is THIN and FIT that rock climbs and has started running again, told me last night I could have candy than go workout. Like how he said it, he wasn't telling me to like I need to but because I was worried about the calorie intake.
Putting that aside, the first guy, the one telling me to go workout, acts like he knows everything about food when he doesn't. As we all know we are constantly learning.. but the stuff he's saying is wrong..but I don't correct him. Let him believe what he whats. Than, today he is telling me there is a way to life for endurance and strength - I KNOW THIS. In fact, most the time I really like showing off how much I know about health and surprising people, lol. Also, I know I could waste him at any amount of time on the elliptical or any run.. grr.. hear me roar, lol!
Times like this, I just want to be like "screw you" (please mind the language) and work out. Not because he told me too but because it means I will be one more pound less, a clearer mind, be able to sleep more soundly, closer to my goal weight and wearing looser clothing.
One day I will NOT be the fat girl people tell to work out or I should eat less. But I WILL be the girl that everyone wants to work out with and asks how she did it. Oh wait, I am ready that girl! And, it feels amazing!!! Seriously!
I started this for ME, and I will end it for ME! One of the reasons I want to lose a total of 100# is because I CAN...and to prove to myself I can, hehe! Half way there!
Maybe this is just what I needed.. my friend and I talked about me doing the Cold Fusion Challenge again. This time it sounds like I would have more support than I did in the last challenge and someone to keep me on track. I really, truly believe I CAN win this challenge if I focus on the task at hand..meaning what I did this summer when I started. It's simple.
Cardio - 40-60 minutes
Strength train 3x week
Drink plenty of water
Eat within my range
...and have FUN!
If nothing else, I have learned I can do it with I stick with these things. Sure, there will be bumps in the roads but I CAN and WILL do it.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
So, yesterday I was very stressed out and was taking some negative things in my life to heart. Even during the day, I was trying to find the silver lining in the dark cloud and even made my status as "is having a hard time finding the light today." Well, during the day people commented on it and made me really laugh. Thanks girls! I might just go buy myself a flashlight to remind myself of this and the support that is here!
Below is the conversation.
THECRAZYMANGO is having a hard time find the light today.
BAILEYS7OF9: usually there is a switch on the wall when you enter the room. If you can't find it, make your own.
HEIDISO: Time to start a fire. They put off a lot of light.
THECRAZYMANGO: Oh you guys! You are THE best.. Bridget, I think they hide mine. :P Heidi, I do like fires but idk if I can have one in my dorm room. Haha!
JADZEAMAY: We have loads of flashlights for times like that. DH is a flashlight junkie. Hasn't found one he doesn't like. Bet he has no less than 20. He has the same problem with sprinklers.
THECRAZYMANGO: Oh, you guys are too much! I seriously I laughed for two minutes straight.. which I seriously needed after this emotion draining day!!! :
Friday, February 26, 2010
As I have mentioned before, exercising daily keeps my depression at bay. I was thinking about this today, before, during, and after my workout and I pinpointed exactly how I feel after I workout. Before my workout, most the time, I have this feeling of rushed, anxious, stressed - all jumbled in one. After I work out, it seems like my head is clear and my body is humming. I was thinking about this after I worked out and had endorphins flowing in my body - I don't think just because I have depression, I am the only one experiencing this clear headed feeling. Do you feel this way? Clear headed and like you can conquer anything?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Okay, the last few weeks I have been only putting in half the effort. I couldn't find the motivation and focus. This week one of my good SP friends asked me to co-lead one of the teams she is on and I decided to do so. It was a great honor and I hope I won't let the team down. In doing so, I realized I cannot lead unless I get back on track. In other words, I need to clean up my "getting fitness" act.. so today, I weighed myself today at 214.8. The things I need to do are: working out 45 minutes a day, strength train, eat right, and go out to eat less.
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