Monday, April 08, 2013
My son has started attending MMA training classes (again) at the place where i used to work out at. My previous trainer, whom i had success with until she started flaking out on training sessions, was there and asked me if i wanted to come back and train. i informed her that financial means as what they were, i could not afford to. She informed me that she would allow me to come back during my son's MMA training classes to work out and would not charge me. She also said that if we wanted to work out another time, she would be willing to barter for babysitting and studio cleaning. i'm tempted to take her up on the offer, but i'm so scared that it's just going to be another flake out situation and i can't take to be let down and hurt again. i just don't know...
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Its a double blog day apparently...
On Monday, after work, Hubby declared that we were going to go to the gym. i asked Him if He wanted to do the Couch 2 5K with me. After explaining to Him what it was, He said 'let's do it.' We went home, changed and went down to the river. i have NEVER run in my life, skipping out on Physical Education classes due to my weight and various other reasons.
The first 5 minutes were easy peasy chicken squeezy... that's just walking. The first 60 seconds of jogging, however, i felt i was going to die. By the end of the 60 seconds, i was having trouble breathing and begging for the clock to hurry up. The 2nd 60 second jog started and we started again. Near the end, i was having more trouble breathing and starting to tear up again begging the clock to hurry up. At the end of the 3rd 60 second jog, my afternoon snack was threatening to make an encore appearance and i was crying. my Husband was right next to me through the entire situation, encouraging me and keeping me going because i would've stop running right there... "There is not 'give up' in this honey".
At the end of the Day 1, i hurt and yesterday and today my legs have not felt the best but i can say that i did it. Day 2 will probably be ran tomorrow, which i am not looking forward to but i know i can do it.
Yesterday, i talked to my boss and told her what i was doing. She was encouraging and told me that it will get esater... Today when i logged onto my email, the inspiration from SparkPeople in one of my emails said 'It doesn't get easier, you just get better!' I'll take it!!!!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
I am a card carrying member of the clean plate club. A product of a woman who was raised during the WWII era when food was scarce and children were guilted into eating everything on their plates by mental images of starving children in Africa and other 3rd World Countries.
Lately, i have been working on just throwing away the last bite of food on my plate. Fruits and Vegetables don't count but meat, starch, sweets, etc, I have been challenged to throw away the last bite. The other day, my Husband laughed at me because i bought a brownie from Starbucks, split it in half, gave Him the bigger of the two halves, and still gave Him the last bite of my half.
Today, i went to a meeting and got a plate of fresh fruit and an Apple pastry. i ate all the fruit first, because it was easy. When i got to the Apple pastry, i took two bites and then realized i was full. Here are my choices at this point... 1) eat the rest of it and be VERY full or 2) throw the rest of it away. "Throw it away?!?!?!" My mental voice screamed sounding suddenly much like my mother... "You can't throw away food!!! Just eat it!!!" Then another voice, sounding alot different... calmer... said "It doesn't matter... throw it away. You don't want to eat it anyway. You are full." i closed my eyes, breathed in REALLY deep and threw the pastry away... It was gone before i opened my eyes...
It's not perfection... i forget sometimes... the other night we were having tacos at a friend's house and i was chewing the last bite. i looked over and Husband was looking at me with that 'Oh really?' look that He gets. i stopped chewing in a mental 'What do i do?' moment. "Just finish it honey, you're not going to spit it out." He said calmly. He knew, i knew and that was all that mattered. Progress though... not perfection...
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
I looked at the calendar this morning and realized that it's almost the end of January. i cannot imagine where the time has gone!!! i went to the gym last night... yeah!! It was 7pm and i knew i had 2 hours before bedtime. i had two choices to make... sit at home and read my Kindle & watch television or go to the gym... since what i would've done at home i could do at the gym, i changed clothes and went to the gym.
I love the feeling when i get up on the elliptical and the skinny chicks on either side of me look at me like 'seriously woman?' Then i outrun their butts on the elliptical and smile as they gawk at me. Do people really think fat chicks can't use the ellipticals? One of the girls actually told me 'you go girl' as i busted my butt in the last 10 minutes of the workout. i seriously wanted to get off right then, but i kept going till the end of my 35 minutes.
Calculated time this morning. My yearly goal of 5000 fitness minutes breaks down to 416 minutes a month. Due to the crazy of January, i've only done 135 minutes, which leaves 281 minutes left for the last 8 days of this month. That means in order to reach my goal, i need to do 35 minutes each day in the next 8 days. Now, i don't want to set myself up for failure but i am not totally sure it's going to be possible, but it's definately something i'm going to strive for. If i don't make it, then it's more motivation for next month. Honestly, if i would just do a minimum of 15 minutes a day, each day, then i know i'd make my goal in a month... *sigh*
Okay... so onward and upward and away we go!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Maybe somethings are for the best...
1. Negative - Yesterday my stepdad sent me a really odd message about my mom. After talking to him, we both realized that my mom and i seriously miss each other. i didn't mean to tell him a bunch of personal things, but not telling him those things, he didn't realize how much trouble i was having here at home. Positive - My stepdad is sending my mom for a visit!!
2. Negative - my Husband lost his job a few months ago. He finally got unemployment and is picking up some part-time work with merchandising but it's not full-time income. It puts a strain on us financially and some of our bills are starting to suffer. Positive - We're becoming more aware of our spending and where we can cut spending on those things that we don't need.
3. Negative - my student loans, that i thought were in deferment until January have apparently been assigned to a collection company because they have been in default since June. Positive - i'm going to contact a credit counselor today to see what can be done to prevent wage garnishment. The wage garnishment is way more than any payment that i can hopefully send to them.
4. Negative - since i have been using a debt consolidation company for the past year and a half, i've gotten 4 different companies that have decided that since i have started paying on bills that they want all their money at one time and have served me with summons and complaints. Positive - since i have been using a debt consolidation company for the past year and a half, i've paid of 6 old bills with 4 to go and 3 of the 4 summons and complaints have been paid.
5. Negative - my brain feels bad because i have not been taking care of my body. Positive - now is the time to change that. i am using a support system that i pushed away as well as drawing new people into my circle to help me.
6. Negative - my Husband's primary car broke down a few months ago and we've been sharing my car, which means that He comes onsite to my work each morning to pick up my car. My boss said something about Him being onsite at work because i work in a restricted area. Positive - i decided to park my car in the unrestricted area, which means i have to walk 0.8 miles each morning in order to get from the unrestricted parking area to my office in the restricted area.
7. Negative - i was slowly losing my mind because i was spiraling into a depression that i couldn't seem to get myself out of. Positive - my company insurance pays for counseling and i've been going since September. It is helping and i'm learning some coping tools in order to make things better for me.
8. Negative - my co-leader at church youth group has decided to retire. Positive - i will finally be able to do some of the things that i wanted to do but she wasn't willing to agree to.
9. Negative - my boss decided to pull back some of my duties and projects that she assigned to me. Positive - i'm able to focus more on the projects that i wanted to do that were already on my desk and focus on doing better work on those projects than have TONS of projects on my desk and doing them at a minimum in order to get them done.
10. Negative - i can't seem to give up Coffee & Ice Cream. Positive - i have to afford myself some 'luxuries' in my consumption... right??
Like i said... focus on the positive... as my Aunt Marsha Stevens sings 'i don't say i'm lucky anymore... i say i'm blessed'.
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