THECOZE   28,605
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So Long...

Monday, April 07, 2014

It's been so long since i've actually used this site. So many things have happened... In December, I learned that i was expecting a child - my first child. I was excited - as was everyone else. Change my diet, started being more healthy... everything that a pregnant woman should do.

Around mid March i contacted the doctor because i had been having some weird cramping and felt that there was something wrong. She blew it off as first time mom jitters and told me not to worry about it.

On March 20th, God took my Angel baby up to play with the other angels. I have been devastated!!! Feel like a part of my heart is broken and missing.

Today was my first day back at work. Yesterday, C and i went out and bought healthy food because both of us agreed that we needed to work on ourselves. Had a giant chicken salad for lunch today, which felt good and then followed it up with a short 10 minute walk and vitamin D therapy - since it's such a nice day outside.

Then i started looking at my goals on here. I'm only 5 lbs (at least at my last doctor's appointment) from a goal that i had previously set for myself. It says that by June 1, I will be down to 269. I can totally do that!!! It gives me 2 months to achieve. I am sure i can do that!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJRVIC2000 4/7/2014 4:07PM

    Your have been blessed....give God all the glory. God bless YOU! Vic.

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ROBBIEY 4/7/2014 3:53PM

  I am sorry about the lost of your baby. I am praying for you. Stay healthy and you will be blessed. emoticon

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FITWITHIN 4/7/2014 3:50PM

    emoticon about your lost. Make sure you get all the support you need when times get really tough for you. Best of luck to you as you continue on your healthy journey. emoticon emoticon

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Should I?

Monday, April 08, 2013

My son has started attending MMA training classes (again) at the place where i used to work out at. My previous trainer, whom i had success with until she started flaking out on training sessions, was there and asked me if i wanted to come back and train. i informed her that financial means as what they were, i could not afford to. She informed me that she would allow me to come back during my son's MMA training classes to work out and would not charge me. She also said that if we wanted to work out another time, she would be willing to barter for babysitting and studio cleaning. i'm tempted to take her up on the offer, but i'm so scared that it's just going to be another flake out situation and i can't take to be let down and hurt again. i just don't know...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

100LBLIGHTER 4/8/2013 7:43PM

    It sounds what ever differences you had in the past she has put them aside.....or she would not have made such a generous offer. Communicate.....that is the key. Forget about those boys....take the deal!!! Have fun!!! emoticon

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MRSBEDWELL 4/8/2013 2:31PM

    FREE is my favorite four letter word! And if she flakes again where does that leave you? EXACTLY where you are right now. If you had success in the past then go for it! It could only help you on your journey. As you're training with her try to take note of what you're doing so that if she does flake you can continue without her! Good Luck!

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THECOZE 4/8/2013 2:27PM

    Just a note, I would not be doing the MMA classes. That is a group of 14-18 year old young men. She just suggested that i come in and work out while their class was going on since the studio will already be open... i don't even like the Kickboxing classes that she does. Not coordinated enough for that mess...

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KAT321123 4/8/2013 2:24PM

    Is that something you can talk with her about? It might be a little bit uncomfortable, but as long you can both be respectful there's nothing wrong with saying something like, "Your offer is incredibly generous but I feel like last time I trained under you we had some scheduling challenges. Is there a way of preventing that from happening again?". That way you're not blaming her (even though it's her fault from what you're saying) and hopefully can come to an agreement. Seems like it could be a great thing if she can stick with it!

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FIREFLY413 4/8/2013 2:20PM

    Do IT, do IT! You might try just the MMA classes at first - she can't flake on those since they are scheduled with so many people! (Right?)

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Couch 2 5K

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Its a double blog day apparently...

On Monday, after work, Hubby declared that we were going to go to the gym. i asked Him if He wanted to do the Couch 2 5K with me. After explaining to Him what it was, He said 'let's do it.' We went home, changed and went down to the river. i have NEVER run in my life, skipping out on Physical Education classes due to my weight and various other reasons.

The first 5 minutes were easy peasy chicken squeezy... that's just walking. The first 60 seconds of jogging, however, i felt i was going to die. By the end of the 60 seconds, i was having trouble breathing and begging for the clock to hurry up. The 2nd 60 second jog started and we started again. Near the end, i was having more trouble breathing and starting to tear up again begging the clock to hurry up. At the end of the 3rd 60 second jog, my afternoon snack was threatening to make an encore appearance and i was crying. my Husband was right next to me through the entire situation, encouraging me and keeping me going because i would've stop running right there... "There is not 'give up' in this honey".

At the end of the Day 1, i hurt and yesterday and today my legs have not felt the best but i can say that i did it. Day 2 will probably be ran tomorrow, which i am not looking forward to but i know i can do it.

Yesterday, i talked to my boss and told her what i was doing. She was encouraging and told me that it will get esater... Today when i logged onto my email, the inspiration from SparkPeople in one of my emails said 'It doesn't get easier, you just get better!' I'll take it!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

100LBLIGHTER 3/27/2013 12:46PM

    emoticon You did it and that is what really counts.

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Clean Plate Club

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I am a card carrying member of the clean plate club. A product of a woman who was raised during the WWII era when food was scarce and children were guilted into eating everything on their plates by mental images of starving children in Africa and other 3rd World Countries.

Lately, i have been working on just throwing away the last bite of food on my plate. Fruits and Vegetables don't count but meat, starch, sweets, etc, I have been challenged to throw away the last bite. The other day, my Husband laughed at me because i bought a brownie from Starbucks, split it in half, gave Him the bigger of the two halves, and still gave Him the last bite of my half.

Today, i went to a meeting and got a plate of fresh fruit and an Apple pastry. i ate all the fruit first, because it was easy. When i got to the Apple pastry, i took two bites and then realized i was full. Here are my choices at this point... 1) eat the rest of it and be VERY full or 2) throw the rest of it away. "Throw it away?!?!?!" My mental voice screamed sounding suddenly much like my mother... "You can't throw away food!!! Just eat it!!!" Then another voice, sounding alot different... calmer... said "It doesn't matter... throw it away. You don't want to eat it anyway. You are full." i closed my eyes, breathed in REALLY deep and threw the pastry away... It was gone before i opened my eyes...

It's not perfection... i forget sometimes... the other night we were having tacos at a friend's house and i was chewing the last bite. i looked over and Husband was looking at me with that 'Oh really?' look that He gets. i stopped chewing in a mental 'What do i do?' moment. "Just finish it honey, you're not going to spit it out." He said calmly. He knew, i knew and that was all that mattered. Progress though... not perfection...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SJSTUCKEY 4/8/2013 7:08PM

    HA! I can soooo totally relate! I'm a Gen-X-er... the offspring of a Baby Boomer who also was part of the Clean Plate Club. And you're right: the original impetus for cleaning the plate is that food is EXPENSIVE, so how could we just THROW IT AWAY like that?! Our recipes have grown with our appetites and what would have nicely suited a family of 4 for dinner is now a single serving for one. How do we re-train the brain? For me, part of the habit is sparked by guilt. But the other half of the habit is very sensory: if it's a new food that has been expertly prepared, drizzled with a port wine reduction or garnished with a savory-spiced fruit, I can't just have one bite. It's like I'm part of the Le Cordon Bleu Clean Plate Club, Platinum Level. So how does one KICK THAT?!

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    Great job!! Sounds like you are getting into a habit and slipping once ot twice is not bad.

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100LBLIGHTER 3/27/2013 12:43PM


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100LBLIGHTER 3/27/2013 12:41PM

    My family are Charter Members of that Dad worked two jobs feeding six kids and as the oldest I knew that he worked hard. We did not see him till Sundays most times because he was up and gone to work before we got up and not home yet when we went to bed. I did not want to waste a bite of that food he worked so hard for....I still have that mind set. So I now save part for later and count the calories for the next meal or the next days meal.....that works for me.

I enjoyed your on your journey to health...and skinnyness. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STRONGDJ 3/27/2013 12:40PM

    Sounds like you're taking time to take care of yourself and be aware of what your body needs/wants. Keep going--you're doing great!

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Crazy January

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I looked at the calendar this morning and realized that it's almost the end of January. i cannot imagine where the time has gone!!! i went to the gym last night... yeah!! It was 7pm and i knew i had 2 hours before bedtime. i had two choices to make... sit at home and read my Kindle & watch television or go to the gym... since what i would've done at home i could do at the gym, i changed clothes and went to the gym.

I love the feeling when i get up on the elliptical and the skinny chicks on either side of me look at me like 'seriously woman?' Then i outrun their butts on the elliptical and smile as they gawk at me. Do people really think fat chicks can't use the ellipticals? One of the girls actually told me 'you go girl' as i busted my butt in the last 10 minutes of the workout. i seriously wanted to get off right then, but i kept going till the end of my 35 minutes.

Calculated time this morning. My yearly goal of 5000 fitness minutes breaks down to 416 minutes a month. Due to the crazy of January, i've only done 135 minutes, which leaves 281 minutes left for the last 8 days of this month. That means in order to reach my goal, i need to do 35 minutes each day in the next 8 days. Now, i don't want to set myself up for failure but i am not totally sure it's going to be possible, but it's definately something i'm going to strive for. If i don't make it, then it's more motivation for next month. Honestly, if i would just do a minimum of 15 minutes a day, each day, then i know i'd make my goal in a month... *sigh*

Okay... so onward and upward and away we go!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRANDIM_81 1/23/2013 11:03AM

    Don't be discouraged! You can do it! but remember that small goals are the goals we seem to stick to most often. But way to go on getting up and going to the gym especially at that late hour. I dont know that I could have been so dedicated! But my drive to a gym is about 30 minutes, rural america huh? You are an inspiration. Keep working hard and keep your head up! You are worth every one of those 5000 minutes!!!!

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