TERRYT55   112,434
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People say the most insensitive things

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I took a long walk this morning; a gentleman and I kept "leapfrogging" up the hill as he was taking pictures here and there. We eventually struck up a conversation and he was impressed that I wasn't huffing and puffing like he was. I told him I'd lost 102 pounds in the past year, he went on to say he'd lost 56 pounds in six months. He talked of other things and then looked at me and said "I was never really fat, even at 304 pounds, just big" This was followed by......."You must have been really fat with another 100 pounds on you.......not to hurt your feelings or anything, just the truth, you must have been really fat" He kept right on talking and jogged away after a while. I was rather speechless but thought he was right.....I was really fat.

As I pondered what he'd said I thought a year ago I would have cried all the way down the hill to my car, gone home and eaten myself into a stupor. I didn't cry, I didn't eat anything but an apple when I got home and I finished the last six miles of my walk with a smile. I feel like I have grown so much in the last year, good thing it was my mind that grew and not my hips (-:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGGIEROSEBOWL 3/21/2011 11:04AM

    What a jerk! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black--and your kettle isn't even black anymore! (That's probably not politically correct--but you know what I mean. I'll end up being offensive while commenting about that JERK who was offensive--LOL!)

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NEWANNC 1/20/2011 4:42PM

    Sounds like he had body dismorphic syndrome in reverse!!

What an incredibly rude and insensitive person!

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THINRONNA 1/20/2011 12:09PM

    Rude! I mean really! And he was too fat at 304 pounds! You are great for maintain your composure...I would have whacked him with something!

Did I mention that he is rude and that you are great?... emoticon

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ANNESYLVIA 1/19/2011 5:54PM

    Sounds like he is a narcissist. I mean how could he possible not admit at 304lbs he was obese? ("I was just big?") Seriously, what gaul. Well, the point here is that you are a special person not to have been angered into spitting out rude comebacks! It is not your 102lbs lost that makes you special your heart and soul is what makes you special. It was always there just under some cushion.

I am sure glad he did not ruin your day, diet, and feeling about the new you!

Anne emoticon

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WORKTHEGOAL 1/19/2011 3:03PM

    What a strange man! Wonder what he saw in the mirror at 304lbs?!

But how impressive were you......... such admiration for you, well done for dealing with his words with such control and strength in your own mind.

And any way - he was the one huffing and puffing, so its not just the lbs its the fitness! WooHoo for you lol!!

Love M x

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HJBUMP 1/19/2011 5:57AM

    I agree. Even if it was true, he shouldn't of said what he said. There are tons of insensitive people in this world...it's sad, but true. Luckily we have people like you though! Great job on losing the weight and keeping it off. :-)

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DOODIE59 1/18/2011 8:48PM

    That boy needs a filter on his mouth! You can only feel sorry for people like him. They cannot possibly have a lot of friends when they blurt things like that out.

And you look fantastic, by the way. Congratulations. You must feel really good. emoticon

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BFRSAM 1/18/2011 7:58PM

    "Yeah, yeah I was. But then again... you probably weren't doing so hot 50 lbs ago, either, were you?"

I'd like to say I would have said that... But given my temper... I probably would've been struggling too hard to avoid punching him in the face, then walking away.

So props to you!

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TEDYBEAR2838 1/18/2011 7:27PM

    OH, WOW, I'm so proud of you, but he was rude to have said that.
You look emoticon


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BLYNN710 1/18/2011 6:33PM

    I'm glad you didn't let him get to you by his ignorant comment. I think class is something that many people don't get anymore and they feel they have the right to say whatever they want. What I often think about people who make insensitive comments is I may have been fat but I changed and at least I am not ignorant or insensitive.

I'm glad you have come so far. You are a beautiful person and don't let one person's ignorance make you question that.


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AELARLEE1 1/18/2011 5:56PM

    It is interesting that people feel that freedom means we can say whatever we want and are thinking and others should just be okay with it (note to self!). Your response is SO amazing and commendable! It is an honor to know someone who has made such progress!

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JUST-ME39 1/18/2011 4:22PM

    LOL! Well, people are. . . well, people. What can I say? I'm proud of you, too. There was a time 4 years ago when similar remarks would send me on an eating and/or drinking binge (I'm bipolar) because while I was fat at 212 or so pounds (and I'm 66 inches tall), I really didn't like to think of myself that way. Finally admitting to myself that even though the world was rude, they were essentially right and I found a reason within myself worth living and fighting for. I took off the weight and regained so much more than health. It was worth it.
Congrats again - you're doing great!

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RONIREDD 1/18/2011 4:19PM


Good for you in holding your head up high! Brush it off and keep on movin' on ...! emoticon

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LITTLE_QUEEN 1/18/2011 4:15PM

    What an idiot! Very rude, However very proud of you for not crying, or binging, You have grown up my friend!

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ARCHIMEDESII 1/18/2011 3:37PM

    WOW ! Talk about being in serious denial about HIS OWN weight !!! For some inexplicable reason, he felt it was necessary to belittle you because YOU had a more successful weight loss than he did. I think he felt he needed to take you down a peg. Which was just plain juvenile as well as rude. I expect such remarks from someone still in high school, not a grown man who should be better behaved.

Personally, I have never understood why guys can be husky or big boned and yet women are always fat.

Good for you for taking the high ground !!


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RUNNER12COM 1/18/2011 3:30PM

    What a jerk. And talk about denial. If he was over 300 pounds, he was fat.

I'm surprised you didn't laugh in his face when he said that.

You rock. And he sucks.


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DANDRAS 1/18/2011 3:14PM

    Great job. Great attitude

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LADYV1781 1/18/2011 3:12PM

    ok....unless he was 304 of pure lean muscle and was 7 feet tall, he was fat. What a rude person!!! Glad you didn't take it to heart!!! You have done a great job!! :)

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ROCKMAN6797 1/18/2011 3:08PM

    Wow, that stranger's insensitivity is beyond comprehension! We are so proud that you were able to rise above that rude comment and keep on track! Great news Terry, you must be so proud of your growth!

emoticon emoticon

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UMUCGRAD 1/18/2011 3:01PM

    Oh, you totally rock! Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, "No one can make you feel inferior withour your consent." I'm glad I learned that as a young person. You did not give your consent. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/18/2011 3:02:04 PM

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HEALTHYASHLEY 1/18/2011 2:48PM

    People are ignorant and rude but I am realizing they are also selfish so it is generally a reflection on them and not really about me. Good for you for rising about it.

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ANDY-N-ANGIE 1/18/2011 2:45PM

    Wow! I am sorry that a stranger was being so rude and insensitive, and I would not have handled the situation as well as you did!I would have cried, then comforted myself with ice cream, which would have made me feel guilty, and I would have repeated it all.

Great job on finishing the walk and on your weight loss! I wish you nothing but continued success!

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102 pounds, One Year

Monday, January 10, 2011

One year ago I was on the verge of diabetes. I was so unhappy. I was close to housebound because I hated to show myself in public. I would sit rather then stand, drive rather than walk.

Today, I am happier than I've ever been. I am healthy, energetic and I love life! I've adopted a healthy lifestyle. I'm not dieting. I can keep up with my grand-kids....running, climbing, swinging, sliding. I can walk for miles and I can even run. I can't think of anything that hasn't improved in the past year.

January 8, 2010

261.5 pounds

Chest 45 in.
Waist 45 in.
Hips 57.5 in.
Neck 15 in
Arm 17 in
Thigh 34 in
calf 19 in

January 8, 2011


Chest 36.5 in
Waist 32 in
Hips 40 in.
Neck 13 in
Arm 12.5 in
Thigh 22.5 in
Calf 16 in

59.5 inches gone!

I used to wear size 24W pants (they were getting tight), a 2X or 3X shirt and size 8-8 1/2 shoes

Now I wear size 12 pants, medium shirts and size 7 1/2 shoes but they are getting roomy (-:

What I do differently

I always use a kitchen scale, measuring cups and measuring spoons when preparing or serving food. When I'm making pasta I measure out four ounces before I cook it so Hubby & I can't have seconds!

I move more and try not to sit. I keep a mini trampoline in my family room to walk or jog on while I watch TV.

Unless I am asleep or in the shower I'm never without my pedometer. I love watching the steps add up.

In restaurants I don't look at the regular menu. Instead I order from the nutritional menu......seeing that a cheeseburger is 800+ calories without the fries keeps me looking for low cal options.

I'm inefficient. I carry my groceries in one bag at a time, I use the bathroom upstairs when I'm downstairs, I park far from the store and walk my cart back, when I just need a few things I walk to the grocery, pharmacy, Target etc.

I spend time on SP everyday. I'm encouraged, educated, inspired and cared about here.

If I'm tempted by certain foods I don't keep them in the house. We haven't had ice cream in the freezer in a year!


I spend more time Sparking than on Facebook

My pants fit on a hanger now without folding the edges under.

I can walk 10 miles or more, half of it up hill, and live to brag about it.

I can tie my shoes and not get winded.
I can sit in any chair and not worry about it collapsing under me.

I fit in any restaurant booth.

I can see my feet.

I like having my picture taken.......I even ask to have it taken.

I love my reflection......and I'm a little embarrassed by just how much I love looking at myself. It's like I'm making up for all the times I avoided my reflection.

I have a lap! I used to be so jealous watching others lay a baby with it's head on their knees and bottom against their abdomen. Now I can do it too and have two grand-daughters to practice on.

I fit through turnstiles.

I fit on all the rides at Disneyland.....with room to spare.

I fit in the backseat of my daughter's compact car, next to the baby's car seat with room to spare.

All seat belts fit me.....

I don't tug at my clothes to make sure I'm as covered up as possible.

I'm not embarrassed to order at a restaurant these days.....I used to feel like servers judged me about everything I ordered.

My bottom & hips fit when I go down the slide with my grand-daughter.

My BMI is 27.3, mildly overweight. My previous BMI was 45 or morbidly obese. I'm 14 pounds from a normal BMI.

I can shop anyplace!

I don't mind stepping on the scale in the doctor's office.

The normal blood pressure cuff fits me.

The gown in the doctor's office closes in the back.

My bath towels fit all the way around me.

My feet never hurt anymore.

I can cross my legs at the knees.

I can get up off the floor easily.

I can hold a plank for 65 seconds......when I started it was 5 seconds.

My bowel habits are so normal.......there were times I was afraid to leave the house in the past.

I can sit in a chair with arms and have room to spare on each side.

I used to wear loose clothing to hide under......now I wear semi-fitted tops to show off.....blushing.

My hands never go numb anymore.

My Blood pressure is about 110/65

My resting heart rate is 51

I have collar bones, hip bones and ribs!

I can feel as well as see the veins in my arms.......no more digging when I have a blood draw.

I don't avoid social situations anymore......I dress my best and go!

I am no longer the fattest person in the room.

My grand-kids will never know me as a fat person........I hope they will look at old pictures and ask “who is that”?

I don't hide when I'm out and see someone I haven't seen in a while.......I stop & chat.

I gave birth to a 12lb 2oz baby. In the past if I told someone they looked at me as if it wasn't a surprise given my size. Yesterday I told someone and they looked me up and down with a look of disbelief. I smiled!

My husband can lift me!

My husband can hug me and touch his elbows.

My husband has lost me at the grocery store because he didn't recognize me......he says I'm so narrow now!

I can climb six flights of stairs at the doctor's office and barely breathe hard.

I can jump, run, skip and climb!

My favorite breakfast is plain Greek Yogurt, berries, slivered almonds and Fiber One Cereal. My favorite breakfast used to be stacks of pancakes with lots of butter and syrup.

My blood sugar is in the normal range.

I am more agile and sure of my steps. While I'm still something of a klutz, I'm not as afraid of falling as I used to be. I was built like a jeep-top heavy and easy to flip. (I stole this from AIMEEM77....she said it so well!)

I no longer have to do the walk of shame when I fly, seeing the "oh no God please not with me" look on peoples' faces while I look for my seat. (Stolen from AIMEEM77....again)

I have confidence to spare!

I am happier and more content then I can ever remember being........

Me with my daughters......January, 2004

Me, 102 pounds lighter, January, 2011

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOWYOGA 4/17/2013 8:10PM

    Thank you for your post (blog) emoticon You did a great job. I think you can help me. emoticon

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    I had to fight back the tears when I read: "I don't tug at my clothes to make sure I'm as covered up as possible"

Although I've lost 120 pounds, I'm only a little less than where you started. I often wonder if I can get to the 150's. Your blog reassures me I can. emoticon

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KRICKET57 1/19/2011 9:48AM

    What an amazing blog. Congratulations on your journey. You have done so well. I love your outlook! Keep up the good work

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SLPCOWGAL72 1/18/2011 5:17PM

    Your story is inspiring, and the things you do have given me some great ideas ...I love your being 'inefficient'! :)
Congratulations on all you've accomplished!!!

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RONIREDD 1/18/2011 4:22PM

    Amazing! Simply Amazing!!!

BTW, do you like your mini trampoline? I have been thinking about getting one?

Anyway, congrats to you on your success! emoticon

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BECOMING_HOLLY 1/18/2011 3:16PM

    This was an amazingly inspiring blog!! Thank you so much for sharing. I hope I can be in your shoes this time next year!!! emoticon

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KARLYNCANDOIT 1/18/2011 3:00PM

    Great blog!! emoticon

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ROCKMAN6797 1/11/2011 7:03PM

    OMG Terry, this blog literally brought tears of joy to my eyes!
Wonderful story and I love that that you are not dieting but have chosen to live a healthier life. Your family must be so proud of you, just as your SparkFriends are! I know that you are proud of what you have accomplished and I can hardly wait to see what the future holds for you! You, my friend, are truly an inspiration!


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AELARLEE1 1/11/2011 4:14PM

    What a GREAT list!! Best thing I have read in a blog in weeks, so thank you, thank you for sharing!


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HJBUMP 1/11/2011 2:25AM

    You look great! You are so inspiring. Keep up the awesome work. :-)

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JUSTBIRDY 1/10/2011 9:48PM


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DUFFYDYER 1/10/2011 5:18PM

    Excellent! Thanks so much for sharing and for reminding us of all of the non-scale victories that we should be grateful for on this journey.

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TEDYBEAR2838 1/10/2011 5:13PM


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DOODIE59 1/10/2011 3:31PM

    Thank you for reminding us of ALL the reasons it's worth losing weight for. Awesome job! Enjoy it.

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JUJUBEEZY 1/10/2011 1:49PM

    Yay! emoticon

I can't wait to be able to say that I am 14 pounds from a normal BMI. Keep up the good work!

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    You look amazing. I loved all the things that you wrote that you can do now, after losing 102 lbs. I can do most of them (can't cross my legs yet), and I LOVE IT! I started a lot higher than you (328), and still weigh more than you (I'm currently at 182.6), but I feel so normal and it's wonderful! Shopping is so much fun. I'm never going back to that old me, how about you? THANKS Spark!!

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TEDDYBABE 1/10/2011 12:53PM

    Oh What a beautiful blog and even more what a beautiful soul you are. You are a wonderful inspiration. Your story made me cry. I read your blog then read it out loud to hubby who also was touched. Thank you for having the courage to start your journey and to share it with us. I feel privileged to be your SP friend. Awesome!! emoticon

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WORKTHEGOAL 1/10/2011 12:36PM

    Amazing blog, what an inspiration you are. You made me cry as I kept reading, realising that you were also saying all the things you couldn't do or see before.

You look wonderful Terry and you deserve to enjoy your mirror!

Love mandy
10K steps

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MRS*RADISH 1/10/2011 11:51AM

I love this!

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REVIVED 1/10/2011 11:42AM

    awesome! very inspiring. i cant wait till i can say many of those things.

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LINDENSGIRL 1/10/2011 11:09AM

    You are the bomb! And you look great too!

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SATURDAY63 1/10/2011 10:29AM

    Your story is so motivating!! I can attest to several items on your list - unfortunately, I'm still there! But with successful people like you on Spark, I find myself being motivated to hang in there and DO IT!! Thank you for posting - I appreciate it!

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SOSAYSTARA 1/10/2011 10:22AM

    Wow! You have come soooo far!!!! Congratulations!

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ZEEMAN911 1/10/2011 10:20AM

    Incredible!! emoticon

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Walking with a destination in mind

Friday, December 10, 2010

My usual walking routine involves five miles on a local walking trail or a hike in a wilderness area. Lately it's been harder to get myself out the door every morning. I normally love the peace and quiet.....I can concentrate on listening to my audio book, keep up my pace & remember to breath without traffic noise.

A couple of days ago I read a SP article called Is your car making you fat? (http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitne
ss_articles.asp?id=421) I decided maybe I should have a destination in mind instead of just walking to the end of the trail and back. Yesterday I walked to the grocery store.....twice! Today I walked to the pharmacy to pick up hubby's prescription. My Sparkpeople canvas bag really came in handy! I enjoyed looking at Christmas decorations, kicked at piles of fall leaves and got landscaping ideas.....I even managed to listen to my book by keeping to the quieter residential streets. I had a great time, ran an errand and walked about 4 miles.

I'm already thinking about other errands I can complete by walking. I know I'll be happy to get back to the trail and wilderness hike soon but for now I'll make my walks even more productive!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POODLEZ 1/5/2011 8:13PM

    I love having a destination. Either that, or a chatty partner!

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    I wish we had walking weather right now... it's -6!

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TEDDYBABE 12/19/2010 8:56PM

    I read that same article. I have not been as creative as you but it's made me walk to destinations more than usual.

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AELARLEE1 12/14/2010 10:18AM

    Good for you!! Last summer I tried to walk to and from work at least once a week, or at least one way (it is 6 miles round trip). Takes quite a bit of time, but if I have it, I LOVE listening to my ipod and taking the time to unwind/or wake up :)

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ZCTMMOM1 12/13/2010 11:00AM

    First of all, thanks for commenting on my blog!! LOL! Second, you are already walking a 5K and more with what you do! Give yourself credit! Third of all, great idea with the destination!!!

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TEDYBEAR2838 12/12/2010 7:42PM

    that's a good thing to shake up your routine.


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HJBUMP 12/12/2010 4:17AM

    That's awesome! If you are able to walk to wherever you need to go, you should! Cars are definitely not helping the obesity problem in america.

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JUNE19471 12/10/2010 4:34PM

  This is the first blog of your I have seen ~ and you are my new HERO. You look wonderful and have done an amazing job.

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CASJ57 12/10/2010 4:33PM

    I hear ya - sometimes I mail a card just so I can have a destination - the post office, if nothing else.


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What a difference 11 months makes......Christmas.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

As I've been going about all of the additional chores that come with the Christmas season I've been comparing last year to this year. I started my journey last January and have lost 95 pounds.

I have been in the kitchen for four hours making candy today, on my feet the whole time and NOTHING hurts. Last year after an hour my feet and back hurt so much I wanted to quit. I know I can cook all day and I even walked to the store this morning for supplies

The Christmas tree gave me fits this year.....the lights kept going out. I was on the floor half under the tree trying to find the bad bulb while cooking, answering the phone etc. I was able get off the floor with ease and get back down again. Last year I would have needed help up or, more likely, I would have let someone else find the problem.

Our whole family makes a Christmas trip to Disneyland every year (another plus to living in So. California) I can walk ALL day and still be ready for more. Hubby & I don't even take the tram from the parking structure these days.

I'm more organized and don't feel quite as much pressure as usual. I wonder if it's because I just feel more in control of myself and that spills over to being better able to cope with life.......

At times I still miss eating anything I want in any amount I want but I feel so good in body & spirit I know I'll never go back!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKMAN6797 12/10/2010 1:02PM

    Awesome post Terry!
I am so happy for you and for what you have achieved this year!
Just think, your lifestyle change will also serve you well when your grandkids ask you to play with their new Christmas toys!
Keep up the great work and have a Merry Christmas!


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GINGER_LOSTALOT 12/10/2010 12:20PM

    Wow! We could be sisters... We both started in January and we both lost about 100 pounds. I'd forgotten how much it hurt to stand for even short periods of time. It's very important to remember how difficult life was then and the real gifts we've bestowed on ourselves and our families. emoticon

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MOMTO6PLUS2 12/9/2010 10:32PM

    That's awesome!

and I know the feeling-- I'm about 100 lbs less than I was last Christmas :)

It's an amazing feeling, isn't it? Congratulations to YOU, dear!

Spark on!

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NOREGRET2010 12/9/2010 6:14PM

    emoticon Great post!

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ROBYNROSE26 12/9/2010 5:31PM

    Fabulous, Way to Go on all your accomplishments!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/9/2010 5:03PM

    SUPER blog!!! You have come a long way on your journey to the healthiest you can be and it shows in all you are doing. AWESOME and CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss!!!
Blessings and hugs,

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TEDYBEAR2838 12/9/2010 4:40PM

    emoticon POST!

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JUDYPOPPINS 12/9/2010 4:32PM

    Fantastic!! Congrats on your weight loss and becoming this fit, beautiful woman that was always within just waiting to get out!!

Happy Holidays!!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 12/9/2010 4:31PM

    That is what keeps me at this and confident I am not going back. I feel so much better. When I get to my goal I know I will not want to ever feel that way again. It is like being free. Way to go on 95 lbs!

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More Milestones!

Monday, October 18, 2010

This morning my BMI was 29.9. I am no longer obese, just overweight. Twenty nine more pounds and I'll be in the healthy weight category........barely, but I'll be there.

Today I took my longest walk/hike ever! 10.40 miles with an elevation of 1050 feet! It took me close to three hours but I finished! It was a beautiful walk....cloudy, cool and a little rainy. I saw squirrels, two tarantulas, beetles and tons of birds. Thanks to my SP friend AELARLEE1
for the motivation.....reading her blog entry about the recent marathon she ran made me realize I have to push myself harder.

I can no longer shop in the Women's Dept., the clothes are all too big.

There is a SPACE between my upper thighs.....I don't think I've had a space there since I was three!

I can cross my legs at the knee!

I can sit in my desk chair without touching the arms.....they used to dig into my thighs!

I can touch and see my toes!

My resting heart rate is 51!

I love feeling fit and happy.........sorry for going on and on, it's been a great day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYNETTIE 11/2/2010 11:29PM

    I remember feeling all those things when I really started to get into healthy weight territory and you will love it!! I am so happy for you!! You have done so well and are heading down the last stretch toward the finish line! I am there cheering you on!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROCKMAN6797 11/1/2010 3:14PM

Thank you for sharing, your joy is so evident!
Keep on going and I eagerly await more joyful updates!


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AELARLEE1 10/26/2010 4:52PM

    Wow, I feel totally honored that you mentioned me! Sorry it has taken so long for me to comment -- was out all next week and I am still catching up :) But now you are motivating me. I am SO impressed with your progress and because of you I am going to do better in this post marathon push!


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    Fantastic! Great job. You earned it.

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SMILINDI 10/21/2010 3:54AM

    Oh my GOODNESS SAKES ALIVE...I SO CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS WITH YOU! You have come so far, and are doing absolutely WONDERFUL! WOW WHAT A HIKE! Admiring you with all my heart for that. Each and every step is precious~please count your blessings for that always. I am doing exactly that now, and forever shall. This is the first time in my life I am singing praises of thanks that I've had a 15 minute walk added to my everyday now through Physical Therapy. Not in a million years would I have ever thought my 3.5-5.0 miles a day would be cut down to 15 minutes! By nooooooo means is this a sad thing though, it is truly a celebration grand, as I am able to walk. It will take a life long medication for that to continue, but what ever it takes....right??? Hooray for doctors who truly care, and dont just shove us aside, because they refuse to check further than "initial pain" was immediately befor an accident. Live and learn. Keep the faith my dear, and God will be walking with you every step of the way as you journey on with your continued success.

My Love Always,
~Diane~ emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAZZYPOLOGRL 10/20/2010 2:28PM

    Great Job! Keep it up!!

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HJBUMP 10/19/2010 9:29PM

    That's awesome! Great job on the weight loss and the long walk! Keep it up.

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PHEBESS 10/19/2010 10:44AM

    Wow - what a major achievement!!!!!!!!!! Great job!!!!!!!

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ROCKYCPA 10/18/2010 10:56PM

    Congrats on all of your accomplishments. Keep up the great work.

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MJKSINGS 10/18/2010 9:46PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TEDYBEAR2838 10/18/2010 9:34PM

    emoticon Don't you just love it when you don't have to shop in the women's department anymore. I remember the feeling, although with the weight gain, I'm in between the 2 of them.

Don't ever go back there.

You are doing emoticon

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