Thursday, October 30, 2014
This is interesting if you're like me and need a little help with the visualization. Ü
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Terri: We need to talk about what happened last night with the Halloween candy. Don't you remember our agreement that we would save it for the kids that come by on Halloween?
Babygirl Terri: Yes, but I thought it would be ok to melt just two of the Hershey's milk chocolate minis to go with the strawberries.
Terri: Well, that wasn't so bad, but look what happened. After the bag was opened it was just too tempting not to eat a couple more here and a couple more there and by the end of the night it added up to six "mini" pieces of chocolate.
Babygirl Terri: Yeah, but they were just "mini". That didn't hurt anything.
Terri: Actually it did hurt something. It hurt me trying to reach my weight goal for the Renaissance Faire in March. Remember, I'm sewing a new costume in a smaller size and I want to be able to wear it and have so much fun at the Faire. Don't you want to have fun in a pretty new dress at the Faire?
Babygirl Terri: But it was only one night. I'll do better tomorrow. There's plenty of time before the Faire to watch what I eat and lose weight so I can fit into the costume.
Terri: Actually, there isn't that much time between now and then. I planned it all out on a chart and to be able to reach that goal I have to lose 2 lbs a week. I won't be able to do that if we take a day off from the diet and exercise every week. I tell you what. How about instead of a day off from the diet every week, let's just take one special day off a month instead? Let's just have one special meal on that day where we don't worry about the calories instead of eating junk all day just because it's a "free" day.
Babygirl Terri: OK, but I get to pick the day AND the meal.
Terri: Of course!
Babygirl Terri: Maybe I could even exercise twice that day to work off some of the extra calories.
Terri: Now you're thinking. Ü
Babygirl Terri: I'm sorry about the mini-binge last night.
Terri: It's ok. Chocolate happens. We'll just try to do better and keep that pretty dress in mind before we reach in that bowl of candy again right?
Babygirl Terri: Right! Ü
Monday, September 29, 2014
Well, I did it. I made it through a weekend with my son and his girlfriend at home and didn't gain weight. In fact, I lost weight!!!! I'm soooo happy this morning. It was sooo simple. All I had to do is eat healthier versions of their "college food".
For example, instead of a plate of Crispy Crowns (sometimes with cheese melted over the top), I had scrambled eggs, sautéed veggies with a sprinkle of low-fat cheese and just a half dozen Crispy Crowns, and Yes I savored every one of them. Ü
For lunch when they had Doritos with cheddar cheese nachos, I had a Turkey Taco Salad with a sprinkling of low-fat cheddar, salsa and a half oz of Doritos crumbled on top - I got the flavor but a much healthier and lighter lunch.
For dinner they had yellow rice, sliced and sautéed sausages and sautéed bell peppers and mushrooms, and while I had the same thing, I had half portions of the rice and sausages and double portions of the veggies.
I think I'm getting the hang of this. Ü
P.S. For the record my son and his girlfriend are both veeerrrry thin and if they gained 15 lbs it wouldn't be the end of the world, but for me, I'm waaaaaaaaaay to mature to be gaining that Freshmen 15 along with them, although they're both seniors now.
Monday, September 22, 2014
I'm tough. When I write, watch a movie, read a book or play a video game, in my mind I'm always the hard-shelled, hard-hitting heroine with a sassy wit, tempered with a heart soft as an angel's wing.
The problem is that I'm actually the reverse of that, soft and weak on the outside and in no way fit enough to do the things I love but worst of all my heart has become hardened against anyone that might or might not judge me for my obesity.
When I started this journey, I wasn't even sure if it was possible for me to lose weight. For some reason it was stuck in my head that no matter how little I ate or how often I exercised, I would always weigh 230 lbs.
Fast forward a few years and slowly but surely I've proven to myself that I am able to lose weight. It's been three steps forwards and two steps back, but even at that rate I'm seeing some progress. I'm under 200 lbs now, but again I've hit a plateau.
It's almost as if that part of me that couldn't believe that I could ever lose weight is still lurking there in the background, waiting patiently for the inevitable moment of weakness or distraction to seize upon my insecurities and push me back, time and time again, hoping to put me off balance, swipe my feet from under me, use my own weight to prostrate myself and triumphantly drawing first blood with the twitch of the thin pointed blade against my throat, just hard enough so that I know this is not only a duel of honor but life and death itself.
Too often, my insecurities and overwhelming feelings of inadequacy win out over my new found optimism and hard-won self-confidence. I can't even count the number of times, I've picked myself up out of the dust, sore all over, disgusted with my weakness, blind with unshed tears and biting my lip to keep it from quivering with fear and frustration, but get up I did.
It occurs to me that this is not just a battle, this is a war! But battle by battle, I'm gaining ground. Every time I don't give in, I win. Every time I make a good decision, I win again. I can feel my muscles becoming battle hardened, my wit sharpening gaining the measure of my opponent, my confidence growing with every lunge, parry and riposte. This is a fight to the death against an opponent that knows me so intimately that I can’t feint. There will be no trickery involved here. This duel to the death will be hard won with no little amount of blood, sweat and tears. There is no way around it. I throw down the gauntlet. I step to the line to face my nemesis, my own worst enemy, my former self.
“Je suis prest.” (I am ready.)
“Tulach ard!” (War cry – The High Hill)
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
I've noticed quite a few of my spark friends have written letters of encouragement to their past selves. I love reading those letters. It reminds me that each and every one of us has a very brave past self that was hopeful enough to take the first step on this amazing journey to health and fitness. I wish I could go back and hug each and every one and tell them "Thank you" from all of us who are at the end of the journey and working to maintain, or still somewhere along the path like me. Still putting one foot in front of the other. So here's my attempt at the opposite. Hope you enjoy it.
Dear Future Terri,
Today I saw a picture of you. I couldn't believe my eyes. You are in better shape than I was in high school. You might be a tiny bit heavier but I can tell it's all muscle. You were crossing the finish line of a race. You were smiling with your arms stretched up in a victory salute. You looked so happy and healthy.
You're an inspiration to me. I'm amazed that you stuck with it this time. You obviously didn't give up when you were tired or in pain or when it would have been easier to throw in the towel.
I'm so proud that you kept at it, kept tracking even when it was a pain to drag out the measuring cups and scale, kept going to the gym every day even when it would have been sooo nice to snuggle back under the covers in the morning or drive straight home and crash on the couch after work.
I've gotta tell you, there were times when I felt like it was impossible to lose the weight now that I'm over 50 years old. I had so many people tell me that it was inevitable, that my metabolism was shot and I should just accept my older bigger body and be content. I'm so happy that you didn't listen to those people. You had faith in me. Faith I'm not sure I've found in myself yet, but I know YOU did, so it's there somewhere and I promise I'll find it.
I gotta ask, who is that mystery man in the picture there with you? Is he someone special? Do you go running, hiking, biking, swimming and horseback riding together? It looks like you're both very healthy and happy. I can't wait to meet him, but most importantly I can't wait to BE you.
Thank you for sending those pictures back in time to me. How did you know I was standing at the crossroads and trying to decide if this journey was worth all the pain, effort, and perserverance or if I should just settle into old age and accept my fate.
You take of yourself and I promise to take better care of yourself too.
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