Friday, July 06, 2012
I have now had 5 TKD classes and I will be competing next weekend in a WORLD tournament for my Ho-Am form and One steps. As I am practicing everyday, it seems that even the smallest mishap freaks me about because I am afraid that I am going to do it front of the judges. I can do it correctly a hundred times in a row then mess up one move and think that I am not prepared at all. I really want to do well at the competition and since Im so freaking competitive its killing me being new at this and everyone being higher rank than I am and better. I dont like to compare myself to others at my same rank for some reason or another. I am always been involved in sports like volleyball and softball and basketball where I always started and was the go-to person on the team. Now I am the beginner, and its a completely different view point because learning TKD is not something that is just learned overnight. It takes so much practice and it truly is an art form. You have to be graceful yet fierce and powerful, which is a very hard combination to master.
I have still yet to lose any weight from all the workouts, I have honestly gained 2 pounds. But I believe my body is adapting to all the stress it is now enduring and not releasing fat yet because it doesnt know how to react. Maybe in a few more weeks it will adjust and begin to burn off the fat a little quicker. In two weeks I have lost an inch around my hips though!!! All of those side kicks and lunges are working something!! I just wish I could see some of the results on the scale, its heart breaking to check my weight after working so hard and it hasnt went anywhere.
Losing weight is seriously a war between yourself and everything around you. Having to fight temptations for yummy pizza that was just on a commercial or having that brownie sundae at dinner. Its just really hard to eating everything you want, when you want it, and how much you want. I know that I can do everything in moderation, but the problem I find is that I keep telling myself that a little more won't hurt anything then a little more, then a little more until I have ate a whole pan of cookies in two days. It doesnt matter if you burn 1000 calories a workout if the lifestyle and diet doesnt change. At least at TKD they teach us about control and how to tame your mind and body. My mind and body are just really stubborn sometimes. lol.