TELERIE   52,924
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July 22

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Rest day - or rather, a day of quiet thoughts and remembrance. It's a year since the terrorist attacked our peaceful city and the beautiful island filled with happy young people on a summer camp.

The weather today has been like last year, pouring with rain, the sky is crying.

I've not been to the city but watched the ceremonies and the big memorial concert from home, thinking of those daughters and sons, sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers who never came home. I've thought about my own father too, inevitably.

I'm moved and grateful for the music, poems, compassion, love and memories - a big part of today.

A young girl moved me so much when she sang on the island, only a short distance from where she watched her boyfriend get killed a year ago. I'll never forget it.

I'll never forget the special finale of the concert tonight, the city hall bells chiming a solo with the symphony orchestra. Magical.

Or the Boss making his appearance with Little Steven, singing "We shall overcome!".

Indeed we shall.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIT_TERI 7/23/2012 10:22PM

    I too am surprised that a year has passed already. I think the remembrance is so important, though....as hard as it is. I think it's important for us to keep that commitment not to forget. And in order not to forget, we must remember.
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CAROLISCIOUS 7/23/2012 9:35PM

    Thanks for sharing this very intimate moment of remembrance.
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JESPAH 7/23/2012 1:54PM

    Wow, a year. Thank you for this.

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THECITYMOUSE 7/23/2012 11:46AM

    My God, has it really been a year already?

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What a beautiful post, Marit.

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DMPRIDER 7/23/2012 10:02AM

    Marit, my thoughts are with you. Wishing you peace and comfort. Hugs.

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 7/22/2012 7:51PM

    Ah. Marit. My heart goes out to you and to all of those who have been touched by violence or who have lost a loved one this year. Grieving is hard work. But it too is part of fitness. It can't be cut short without consequences to our health. I think you are fortunate indeed to be able to be moved by music. Music, art, nature connect us to something that is truly comforting. Sending loving kindness to you.

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_RAMONA 7/22/2012 6:44PM

    My thoughts are with you all in remembrance... it was such a horrific event... and I don't think the timing of the most recent Coloroado shootings is an accident.

Hug the beauty, compassion and solidarity close. It's all we really have in the end.

{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}
Ramona

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A new spark

Friday, July 20, 2012

I really feel I'm back here again now. Like a new beginning.

I never fell completely away from Spark, I just stopped being as active as I used to be, both here and in my daily life and didn't track my food or fitness with any sort of consistency.

My emotions had to be sorted, lots of "life" happened and I regained some of what I lost while spending time grieving and working (and eating) too much.

I am motivated by structure and consistency, and that's why I've re-started the C25K program! Finished week one two days ago and Saturday I'll start week 2. It feels good to just get out there and DO!

Another spark ignited with a trial of SparkPeople Live. If you haven't heard about it, they are online meetings with other spark members and a class leader. The meeting I attended after work today was fun and motivational and absolutely something I think can benefit in my work on losing those pounds I re-gained.

It feels really good to be back! Please come and get me if I fall away again now.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADNAW_YOTS 8/2/2012 8:13AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KIMPAINTS 7/22/2012 8:05PM

    emoticon

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CAROLISCIOUS 7/21/2012 10:47PM

    Good to see you back in the "spark" of life!

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 7/21/2012 8:12PM

    "I am motivated by structure and consistency" Well said. Me too. And when I am using the tools I feel great. Even when things are tough in life. They are only worse when I don't have structure and consistency to help carry me. So very glad you are back.

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FIT_TERI 7/21/2012 12:27PM

    So glad to see your blog, Marit!!! I'm glad you're feeling the spark! It'll be good to have you around more often.
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Is your beautiful background photo from your own garden?

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JESPAH 7/21/2012 11:20AM

    That made me think of this song -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v
=39mUEE3_xS8

Hugs!

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DMPRIDER 7/20/2012 11:44PM

    I'm glad you are back and feeling a new spark!
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_RAMONA 7/20/2012 7:04PM

    Welcome back, Beautiful Marit!
(you never left my heart)

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}
Ramona

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Anyone for tennis?

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Hi, I'm here again, and really grateful for your encouraging comments on my last blog. Thank you for being wonderful!

May has started well. We went to a beginner tennis class today. Every Tuesday for six weeks we'll practice and see if we can get that ball under control... Fun!

I have gone walking and done strength training at home and some at the gym. Now I just need to go track those workouts and the strength I did before the class and put my thinking cap on when it comes to "fast track" goals and how to actually make me enjoy tracking stuff again.

A new notebook might do the trick...
Then I'll have to muster the will to weigh and track my food. Enough guesstimating when I eat at home.

In other news: Getting lots done at work and have plenty of work to do, some of it is frustrating me no end, and I Wonder What to do about it. Will see What happens with new boss coming in June.

Excited about plans to treat my darling to a week in Paris at the end of May, to celebrate his 50th birthday. He has never been there, and I was there 25 years ago. Wonder if I still remember the place. Et la belle langue.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETZMIX 5/9/2012 3:28PM

    Sounds like you are coming back!!!! Slow and steady!

And Paris!!! OMG one day I dream I can afford to fly over there and see the sights. Take lots of pics!!

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FIT_TERI 5/8/2012 9:32PM

    Tennis lessons sound great. For me, that would require A LOT of running around chasing after my ball....my hand-eye coordination is not all that good! Sounds like a fun thing for you to do together providing you maintain your senses of humor.
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We just watched the Woody Allen movie, "Midnight in Paris", last weekend (have you seen it...interesting premise). Anyway, watching it made me want to go back....it's been more than 20 years for me too. I'm sure you'll remember well enough. I hope you have a fabulous time!!

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DMPRIDER 5/8/2012 9:18PM

    It sounds like you are getting back in to the groove. Excellent!

Paris in May sounds lovely! I know you will have a wonderful time. :)

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CAROLISCIOUS 5/8/2012 8:13PM

    Ahhh...Paris in the Springtime! Lovely! (or so I hear!)
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Whatever happened to the tracking grid shared by you, CJ and LL? I thought that was pretty awesome for maintaining accountability!

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JESPAH 5/8/2012 4:51PM

    Have a wonderful time! :)

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Starting to thaw

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

I'm not gonna apologize for my absence, things just turned out like that.
I just realized that today it is four years since I logged on to Spark for the first time.

Thinking back now...
As low as I have been lately, I felt even worse back then...
As hard as it is to keep moving consistently, It was harder to get started...
As much as I have fallen back on old habits and dropped from Spark since my Dad's death, I am still doing more and with much more awareness than in April 2008...

I'm beginning to see the light at the ene of the tunell I've been crawling through the last months.

The summer is approaching and we spend more time outside and "things" at work will settle down. I hope this will make it a bit easier for me to devote some more time to SP because I miss you, and i do so much better when i am tracking food and fitness instead of just guesstimating the food and do my workouts.

It's time I pulled on my heart rate monitor and started counting more than workouts and time spent doing it. I KNOW it'll fire me right back up and put me back on the train to weightloss.

Four years, huh. Who'd have thunk it.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VEEJAY3 5/6/2012 8:10PM

    Hi honey!!!!!
So nice to see you. I am happy you thawed out, came back to life, and came to see us. How's THAT for cryogenics!?

Happy spring.

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VEEJAY3 5/6/2012 8:10PM

    Hi honey!!!!!
So nice to see you. I am happy you thawed out, came back to life, and came to see us. How's THAT for cryogenics!?

Happy spring.

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SWEETZMIX 5/6/2012 7:06PM

    Yes it's time. Rumor has it, you have been missed!
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WILSOCA 5/6/2012 9:14AM

    So good to see you here.
Take care my friend and think of all you've accomplished over the 4 years.
C

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FIT_TERI 5/5/2012 1:18PM

    We miss you too, Marit. It's good to see you here - whenever you can be. I hope the light at the end of that tunnel continues to get brighter and brighter.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
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CAROLISCIOUS 5/3/2012 7:10PM

    emoticon
Happy 4th Sparkiversary! You still got it, Marit. Come on back and let's have a great summer. We miss you too!

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JESPAH 5/3/2012 11:22AM

    4 years.

Things have changed for both of us during that time. You more than me.

Who knew all this cardio was not just to make us cuter but also to make us stronger and better able to get through adversity?

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_RAMONA 5/3/2012 12:07AM

    Hey, Beautiful!

I really liked this: "I'm not gonna apologize for my absence, things just turned out like that."

Nobody should feel like they need to apologise when real life takes precidence.

And I'm so glad to hear from you... I miss you, too... and I'm gald you can say all fo ther est. 'Sparking' is something that can just take hold of your spirit and, once it becomes part of you, there really is no going back to where you started.

...we're all still here (to varying degrees... life is still pretty challenging for me, too) and will be so happy to see youa round more!

Continued prayers and
{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
Ramona

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 5/2/2012 10:52PM

    Ayee I am in exactly the same spot but I am not grieving for a loved one. Haven't used the monitor in ages. It feels like a tunnel. And i am crawling too. Same thing about how I am not as bad off as pre Spark. But not as great as daily Spark either. And bad habits. Oh yes...

Always glad to read your blogs. Hope for both our sakes we can get back to it.

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DMPRIDER 5/2/2012 10:46PM

    Welcome back! You've been through a tough time, but you are still working at it. You will get back on track. It gets better. Hugs.

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PARKERB2 5/2/2012 7:19PM

    That four years is gone but you still have good years ahead. Don't give up and Keep Sparking. Welcome back. emoticon

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Fighting for my groove

Monday, January 30, 2012

The Plan for January was:
Another year. Focus on getting back on track. Back to basics and still allow myself time to grieve
Food: track it if you eat it!
Fitness: track it. Two-day rule. ST, cardio and random acts of fitness
Rest. Sleep enough. Meditate. Yoga. Gratitude.
Blog or visit friends SP pages 1x week or more.

The Result:
Food: Tracked every day! Some guesstimates, but good effort!
Fitness: I'm getting back into the good habits. Can increase intensity next month, but follow my two-day rule again.
Need more sleep and rest. Got into a bad "habit": wake up at night and I struggle with my thoughts around 4am. Work related, grief, or a mix?
Could be more present here on SP.
Blog more to deal with thoughts?

I don't see any change weight-wise, so I need to step it up next month! It feels good to move!

The February Plan:
Food: Keep tracking daily. Stay in range. Drink 1-2 l water. Eat 5 freggies.
Fitness: Keep tracking. Two-day rule.
Cardio: Intervals 1x/week, walk/run 2x/week.
Strength: Gym program 2x/week, plank and squats 2x/week. Random acts of fitness. Stairs.
Wellness: Sleep before midnight. Meditate. Think about something positive daily. Gratitude. Daily post on SP (blog, team message or friends page)

Thank to all my friends for being here for me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYROSE 2/17/2012 12:45PM

    Many hugs... And I second, third and fourth what _Ramona said (and the link she gave is awesome!) - you've been through a huge emotional and physical stress with this loss and that rips through your innards like nothing! The waking up early and the racing thoughts - totally related to that stress.

It's not YOUR habit, it's your body's response. Honestly I'd skip the 'fitness' stuff and focus on the yoga and sleep till your body has healed from this... that may be sooner than your heart healing, but will help ease that pain as well by taking the 'guilt' of not 'sticking with your plan'.

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Comment edited on: 2/17/2012 12:47:04 PM

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 1/31/2012 7:55PM

    This is such a good plan and you are amazing. Smart to acknowledge the grief and the need to be conscious around it. And it will only help you feel better if you are able to exercise and eat and sleep. Even if only a little. You are a model of good sense and strength. So glad to have met you here.

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SWEETZMIX 1/31/2012 4:02PM

    Marit it's a start and the year just began. No worries :) You got this!

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JESPAH 1/31/2012 11:09AM

    Every bit helps, and every bit works.

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FIT_TERI 1/30/2012 9:02PM

    Good to see you, Marit. Sounds like you've gotten off to a good start to 2012, and have a good plan for Feb.

The sleep thing is soooo tricky. I am awake most nights at about 4am, often for no good reason at all. I'm trying something which seems to be working. If I wake up, and can't go right back to sleep, I get up. I come downstairs and either read or watch something on TV. I find that it stops my brain from dwelling on whatever is keeping me up. Often I am only up for 20 or 30 minutes...then I go back to sleep. I hope that helps.
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CAROLISCIOUS 1/30/2012 8:42PM

    It's so good to see you here...taking baby steps...working out your plan in your own way.
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WILSOCA 1/30/2012 7:48PM

    Great job !!!!
Way to go on reaching your goals !!!
C

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_RAMONA 1/30/2012 6:37PM

    Merit, you are SO awesome! You've accomplished so much! I hope you're being gentle with yourself in all of this... the work of grieving is not to be taken lightly.

I doubt it helps, and because of our time difference it's not really the 'same time' but I am often up and out of sorts a that hour, too. Now, my issues are age-related and hormonally driven, but I wonder if yours might be the result of grief physically manifested. Grief can wreck havoc with your bodies natural rhythms by over-taxing your adrenal glands with cortisol. Check these out and see what you think (I'm NOT recommending any products... haven't tried them... just the information):

“BROKEN HEART” SYNDROME: REAL"
http://www.fatiguebegone.c
om/broken_heart.htm

I've got you in my prayers, and when I'm up at ungodly hours, I'll be praying for you in a special way, dear friend: May your every day be all you need it to be. May an all abiding peace fill your thoughts, rule in your dreams each night, and conquer all your fears. May God manifest himself in ways you have never before experienced. May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer, and your cares be lifted. I pray that faith enters a new height in you, that your territory be enlarged, and that fulfillment is just one step closer.

MAY GOD ABUNDANTLY BLESS YOU, and those you love, in every way that you require. May he hold you gently in the palm of his hand in a very personal way, and may you rest in the fullness of his love, his grace, his strength, his wisdom, his rescue, his redemption, his healing, his inspiration, his restoration and his mercy as you require it! May you carry in your heart always an extra special awareness of God's great love for you, may you feel his sweet and gentle touch upon your life, and may you see his miracles all around you. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen!

{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}
Ramona

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