 
 
 
Thanks Spark Friends for support...Saturday, February 20, 2010
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CMRAND54
2/21/2010 9:52PM
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Enjoy your weekend. Your water exercises sound like wonderful fun.
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SLIMMERJESSE
2/21/2010 12:08PM
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Have a good day.
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DAISYDAY25
2/20/2010 9:34PM
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Sounds like you have a busy but fun day planned
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KAT7457
2/20/2010 8:30PM
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enjoy the day Teddy. I didnt know they have a flower show in winter in mpls.thats awesome.
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WANDAH3
2/20/2010 6:40PM
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Flower shows in the middle of winter sound just the perfect thing! Have a great day, Hugs, Wanda Report Inappropriate Comment |
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LAVONNE57
2/20/2010 2:34PM
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It sounds like you have a great day planned! Flower shows in Minnesota winters are wonderful! It makes it feel like spring! Have fun! Report Inappropriate Comment |
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DJS-DEBBIE
2/20/2010 12:21PM
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I hope you get to the Spark Rally and the flower show. It sounds like you can use some 'me' time. I saw your post on my blog and the week you have coming up. Try to hang in there. Hopefully you will be feeling much better by the time the week is over. 
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BIGT_56
2/20/2010 10:55AM
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Go and enjoy the day! You deserve it!
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RUSTYSHAW1
2/20/2010 10:46AM
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I love flower shows. Some the flowers are so beautiful, they don't look real. Glad you are feeling better. 
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PATTIDGN
2/20/2010 10:43AM
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sounds like a wonderful day!! 
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RITAROSE
2/20/2010 9:55AM
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Spark rally? Wish I could go too! Have fun!  Ritarose
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HOLLYSNOWWOMAN
2/20/2010 9:49AM
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You are in for a busy day. Enjoy!!!
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LOOZINITNOW
2/20/2010 9:47AM
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Enjoy the Spark Rally and flower show!
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PUDLECRAZY
2/20/2010 8:56AM
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Oh, my - enjoy the flower show. What a perfect thing to do in a MN winter!
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MSLZZY
2/20/2010 8:25AM
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Sounds like an excellent plan! Have a great weekend!
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I went with hubby to see the psychiatrist and the end of the session she zeroed in on me and asked who do I have for support. I have 1 sister left whom I talk to about once a week but she has been in assisted living for 8 years, is blind and has numerous health issues. It does make me feel llike I am not all alonein the "big world" to talk to her but it is not really support (for me). I told her otherwise I have no one for support. With my husband's condition (possible early dementia or Alzheimer's ) coming to the forefront I have some new enemies which is his family accusing me of being selfish, planning to have him committed, trying to steal his house (actually it was my house when we got married) and trying to steal his money (he has practically none left, as he spent it), and because I have a life insurance policy on him through work they think I am plotting to kill him off to collect the proceeds of that. Because of his mental state the doctor recommended I have my husband sign papers giving me power of attorney, medical power of attorney and a living will (all revocable). His children all up at arms about this and they have no idea of the problems I am having taking of myself and dealing with their father. The psychiatrist suggested a family conference and now my husband doesn't want to see her any more because she is convienced he is not going to get better but will eventually need professional care at which point my own financial and emotional survival will be in jeopardy. (The psychiatrist said I definitely need counseling.)
So tomorrow I will make a phone call to see about counseling as I seem to to be "going down the slippery slide" and my life has become "one disaster after another" and I definitely need to make some major changes. 
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CMRAND54
2/19/2010 10:04PM
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My heart goes out to you in your struggles. Hang in there, and definitely get the counseling.
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BIGT_56
2/19/2010 4:17PM
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Yes get some counselling, but get that lawyer or some legal advocate ASAP. You cannot count on his children "coming around" to seeing the truth. I have found that you need to expect the unexpected in this kind of situation and not take what people tell you as the truth. They may have hidden agendas. You need to know what your rights are where the assets you share are concerned. Did you put the house in both of your names after you got married? Can you provide proof that you had it before? Do you have shared bank accounts or separate? Is you name on his? Do you all have a will? Whose name is on the vehicles? My mom was the one with all the assets when she married my stepfather. They were married 25 years and his children never accepted her. She sold her house after awhile and they lived in his, but she was the one with the money. Luckily she passed away two years before he did, so they couldn't try and give her any grief when he died. They still tried to give us some where her belongings were concerned. Luckily my mom and put the three of us girls on her bank account and that money just came to us with no questions to be asked. Stay strong and just remember that we are here for you if you need to talk or rant...we are good listeners! Report Inappropriate Comment |
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HOLLYSNOWWOMAN
2/19/2010 10:26AM
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I worked in a Nursing home and saw this every day and lots of times the care giver died before the resident! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! DO get power of attorney for financial as well as medical. Does your husband want a feeding tube? Do a advance directive. No matter what the family says -- you need to keep him and yourself safe. When he begins to wander and he will -- who is going to watch out for him? You cannot be there 24/7. Kids are the first to point fingers so if they feel like you are not doing the job let them take him!!! Yes you need someone to talk with besides family. God bless you. If I can help just give me a yell. Remember everyone has an opinion even if it is not their business. As you can see I am very passionate about this and sorry if I steps on any toes. Comment edited on: 2/19/2010 10:32:58 AM Report Inappropriate Comment |
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MATTRIXMSP
2/19/2010 8:45AM
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Please take that counseling and please keep speaking out here as well! You are a strong person and can make it through this, remember part of strength is seeking help when needed too. Best of luck to both of you! Report Inappropriate Comment |
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RITAROSE
2/19/2010 8:15AM
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Teddy, I'm so sorry to hear about your trials! Looks like you have lots of support here, which is great, but yes, you do need to have support in making the legal changes that need to be made and keeping open the lines of communication with the step kids. I am praying that they will open their eyes to see the difficult position you're in. Do you have a pastor you could go to for counsel? One that has experience in counseling? I can't understate the impact a good one could have to encourage you, see some options that maybe you hadn't noticed yet, to help your step kids see the other side and to be a support to you and your husband. May the Lord help you right now.  Ritarose
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NO_SNOW_BODY
2/19/2010 8:12AM
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I hope you find someone to talk with, we all need that one person that will listen as we unburden ourselves.
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COLEENCOLE
2/19/2010 8:00AM
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What trials you have right now. Families can be so difficult in relationships. Take time for yourself and stay focused with SP. It can be difficult with all the emotional upheaval. 
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ORANGE_MAMA
2/19/2010 7:53AM
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Teddy: Sorry to hear of your woes. But I am confident that u have the COURAGE to move forward. With that said, as a nonpracticing attorney, I have to say that consulting a "elderly care attorney" is in your best interest. U may even want to have your step children sit in w/ the atty and u. Best of Luck. Report Inappropriate Comment |
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WANDAH3
2/19/2010 7:47AM
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This is a very tough situation to be in. Do try to get those legal papers in order and quickly. I'm eternally grateful that I had them done when I became my Mother's legal guardian. Try to keep the lines of communication open with his children...not easy, I know, but if they are kept in the loop, eventually they will understand the devastation of this disease. Hugs, Wanda P S...get the support you need, it's important. Report Inappropriate Comment |
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MSLZZY
2/19/2010 7:18AM
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You are trying the best you can and meeting resistance on all sides. This is certainly not good for you and counseling may help you express your feelings and get some support for all you are going through. It is a shame that family members don't see how hard you are trying. Hang in there and do the best for you and DH. My thoughts are with you.
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DJS-DEBBIE
2/19/2010 5:11AM
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I am so sorry you are having these problems with your 'new enemies'. I have heard versions of this story too many times when a loved one develops Alzheimer's. Good for you for being proactive and setting up some counseling for yourself. It will help.
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Ritarose
